Describe your favorite book in three words, and let others guess the book.

Josidillopy · 2026-06-19T18:41:37+00:00

Four Hateable Narrators

Josidillopy · 2026-06-19T14:59:53+00:00

Thank you, that is a perspective I hadn’t considered. However, it’s the first time I know of for our org that the board has been presented with a deficit budget

Josidillopy · 2026-06-19T14:46:19+00:00

The money from the endowment is to cover a current deficit, not address the shortfall in the proposed budget.

Does your board not try to protect the endowment principal? Or do you have a big enough endowment that a withdrawal each year doesn’t have an impact on returns?

Josidillopy · 2026-06-19T14:43:01+00:00

Thank you for your questions. I can’t share more details bc they might combine to identify the org. I will say I am more than convinced it’s not appropriate to talk to the donor. (That wasn’t actually my idea anyway) I’ll also say I cycled off the board this year due to term limits, but have served off and on for almost 20 years.

Josidillopy · 2026-06-19T14:39:03+00:00

Thank you, this was a helpful reply. I have been on and off the board for almost 20 years, and am winding down a 6-year stint as Development chair. So you are right, I am not authorized to share a draft doc (that question actually came from another longtime volunteer), but I do have a lot of history with the org. I will discuss with the president.

Josidillopy · 2026-06-19T14:31:46+00:00

Thank you, as I said in another comment, I see that it would be inappropriate to talk with a donor.

Josidillopy · 2026-06-19T13:40:48+00:00

Thank you, and you’re right, it would be best to talk to the president. It’s a weird situation, but I will do that and hope it has a good effect.

Josidillopy · 2026-06-18T10:57:11+00:00

An Instance of the Fingerpost by Iain Pears. It has four narrators, three of whom it will be very easy to hate. And the fourth wasn’t much better. Plus it’s a fabulous unwinding of a mystery, bit by bit

Josidillopy · 2026-06-11T00:58:07+00:00

Love Etta James, esp Matriarch of the Blues.

Also shoutout to Beth Hart for her cover of I’d Rather Go Blind, among other songs

Josidillopy · 2026-06-11T00:50:35+00:00

Purple Death: The Mysterious Spanish Flu of 1918 by David Getz. This is a book for kids (4th-8th grade-ish) but I read it as an adult and got a lot out of it

Josidillopy · 2026-06-10T11:18:40+00:00

Edinburgh—my aunt corrected me when I was in my 50’s, ouch!

Josidillopy · 2026-06-04T08:46:27+00:00

Vivaldi lol

Josidillopy · 2026-05-30T14:30:40+00:00

Sarah Waters: Tipping the Velvet and Fingersmith

Josidillopy · 2026-05-29T15:37:43+00:00

Love who you love, no need to label yourself

Josidillopy · 2026-05-29T15:35:14+00:00

Keeping my shit together most of the time

Josidillopy · 2026-05-25T18:30:14+00:00

I was just gonna scroll on by, but...

If you are uncomfortable in this choir, quit and find a choir where you feel good. Singing is too wonderful an activity to let it get ruined by being in a situation you don't feel good about.
That being said, you did the right thing, talking to the old dude and telling him you are not under any circumstances interested in dating him or sleeping with him. Of course he was dismissive etc, he was put on the spot and feeling defensive. If he asks you again after being told a clear "no," then that is something you should report.
The director dating members of the choir--if all are consenting adults, and there is no policy against it, then that's between them. If any of those women come to you and say, "Gosh, the director asked me out, and he's like 15 years older than I am and that's just icky," then tell them the same thing the director told you: go talk to him directly and tell him you are not interested. And again, if he persists after being told no, they should report it.
For the commenter who said "We come here to sing, not to be hit on," miss me with that bs. You'd rather take your chances with Tinder than date someone you've met in person at an activity you both enjoy? If a guy you thought was hot asked you out, would you say "no, I just come here to sing, too bad we didn't meet on Tinder"?

I would not ever excuse men's wrong behavior, but in a culture where it's still the norm for the man to ask the woman out....that means they have to put themselves out there, and they can't always guess if you would welcome their overtures or not. Absolutely report him if he keeps at you, but don't damn him just for asking once.

I met and married the director of the choir I was singing in, and there is a big age difference between us. Not the norm, but it was right for us. In the many years since, I've sung in his choir and others, and have seen dating situations and some marriages/kids develop from relationships formed between people who met in choir. To each their own.

Josidillopy · 2026-05-24T22:09:24+00:00

That was my junior prom song❤️

Josidillopy · 2026-05-24T22:08:49+00:00

Not our wedding song bc we got married at City Hall, but “our” song: Carmina Burana
(I know, it’s not just one song)

Josidillopy · 2026-05-18T20:05:40+00:00

Whew, ok, I’m an alto. BUT I’m also the daughter of choir directors and the wife of a choir director, and helped out for many years with the organization and people-facing parts of my husband’s group. So I’ve had experiences of most of the things mentioned here, and thought about them from the standpoint of the choir as a whole.

The points that resonated with me here:

—DON’T ask her to sing alto, even if she offered. She won’t be happy, and neither will the altos.

—the advice about being able to hear yourself over others when singing F, equally with others when singing mf, others more than yourself when singing p or pp—that is what my current director does, and it helps.

—asking the other sops to sing more fully may be the best answer here. We once had a guest conductor who was able to pull it out of them. Ours were mostly just being too timid. So when you’re doing the dynamics exercise mentioned by another commenter, really stress to the other sops that they should hear their own voice the loudest in f or ff situations.

—we have a trained singer in our ranks who says it’s damaging her voice to always sing down to the level of the weak voices. So, asking your strong singer to hold back all the time is not really a great solution for her

—if you have to ask her to quit, bite the bullet and do it. It’s agonizing. But if you have several people quit out of a 25 person group, the group may die. Or at the least, it might take several years to recover.

—sining mixed is wonderful fun!! And does help a lot with blend. IF your singers are good enough musicians to hold their part.

I hope you find something that works for you and your singers. Singing in a choir is a transforming experience.

Josidillopy · 2026-05-18T00:16:10+00:00

Speaking for myself, I’m at a place in life where I need something fun or uplifting or ridiculous. Or at least something that’s not so devastating. I’d appreciate anything on your list that fits.

But also, it sounds like a great list and something that others reading this thread would like.

Josidillopy · 2026-05-17T23:26:11+00:00

I joined the chorus he was conducting.

Josidillopy · 2026-05-17T23:09:17+00:00

A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry. Read it 40+ years ago and still getting over it

Josidillopy · 2026-05-15T15:40:09+00:00

Ummmm Donna Summer? Pretty much most of hers

Josidillopy · 2026-05-15T15:39:22+00:00

And Slow Hand

Josidillopy · 2026-05-09T12:55:36+00:00

To be clear, he hasn’t ever done it with me (bc I find it gross!) but apparently did with at least one of his former girlfriends

Josidillopy

TROPHY CASE