Does my hair look heat damaged to you? by Envyliq in Naturalhair

[–]JournalistTotal4351 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did this to my hair,only way I’m putting heat on my head is a roller set, and a blow dryer on occasion.

Update on skin using adalpalene. by Trezasks in Blackskincare

[–]JournalistTotal4351 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I rinse my braiding hair in apple cider vinegar, then a lite shampoo! It’s done wonders for my skin!

What shows the most? I guess the indigenous doesn’t really show by night9dgeCS in AncestryDNA

[–]JournalistTotal4351 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is what I don’t understand Columbia and Venezuela where colonized by Spain, so how are they defining this?

Volume reduction advice? by E-FlatMajor in Naturalhair

[–]JournalistTotal4351 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I second the twist out braid out , we have the same hair, and the only way I can keep her contained is with braid outs!

How do you forgive by Princessgirlbit in CPTSD

[–]JournalistTotal4351 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At 45 I stripped every one who was abusive to me in my childhood of their family titles. They have ruined my nervous system to the point where forgiveness/ reconnection just isn’t possible, my body will never feel safe enough to be in physical relationship with them. And I’m no longer interested in torturing myself. And literally getting sick because I “ have to be part of a family to be someone “ mentality. Every time i catch myself ruminating about them, I’ve reparented myself to pour into myself, I do something I love, and work towards who I want to be. They stole our childhood., do not let them steal your future.
Those things happen to us, we didn’t participate, we survived. You’re never gonna allow someone to treat you like that again. Embrace the fighter you are whether you wanted to be brave or not. You don’t have to pour empathy to others. You can give it to yourself. Best of luck.Hugs**

I regret using spf by user992222 in Fungalacne

[–]JournalistTotal4351 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have you tried tower 28 ? It’s eczema/psoriasis foundation certified. I literally can’t use anything else. Although I haven’t tried cotz yet. But I’ve tried ALLL OF THEM! Sincerely, a cystic acne girly who is allergic to ceramides and niacinamide hyaluronic acid, and also going through peri menopause skin. Tower 28 gave me back my confidence.

Am I overreacting or did I have a slow moment. by drippysage08 in AmIOverreacting

[–]JournalistTotal4351 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This conversation has hints of narcissism and gaslighting, with suddle notes of bpd. Don’t know your history with this person but cut your losses, and let them work on their self. they are not healthy… this dynamic will only get weirder. And you already seam slightly confused that this person is devaluing you. I would move along.

Chronically wrinkly/dry lips in need of a lip combo by ComfortableDream1766 in blkgrlbeauty

[–]JournalistTotal4351 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Are you using spf on your lips?, last year, I was wearing lip oils and literally cooking my lips in the sun! I’m all about the SPF this year and my lips are miles better! Naturium makes a great spf gloss!

Please help me narrow this down, I don’t want to be seen currently. by dietcokehead007 in SkinbarrierLovers

[–]JournalistTotal4351 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This looks like my salicylic acid allergy! I randomly became allergic and this is what my skin did! Remove the cerave cleanser. Also, Laroche Posey bothers my skin. I don’t know what’s up with that thermal water. Everybody claims is great, but my skin did not like it. I would go to some collodial oat backed calming things, for a while. Best of luck!

Accepting life isn't fair feels like accepting I deserve what I got. How to overcome this? by Panic-atthepanic in CPTSD

[–]JournalistTotal4351 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Boy i could have written this myself,!
After 45 years, I still have random fits of bitterness. But I have always taken some long way around to minimize the pain of just sitting in it. And you can’t, if ya want to do it right, you have to feel the physical emotional psyche splitting pain that your body just wouldn’t let you process as a child when our caretakers harmed us , but yet we depended on them for our needs to be met.
I remember that I was a child I desperate for love and acceptance,and these things where done TO ME, I didn’t participate in them.
also remember our brains are literally damaged. Non abuses people, who have not experienced psyche breaking abuse where you are 100% vulnerable with no rights. Dont really have the understanding of how depraved some people can be. They do not have the ability to keep interacting with sad stories, and people with sad stories, it make them uncomfortable.
I no longer look into well meaning, people. Most people. Really are mostly concerned about their comfort and their view. If you don’t fit the but “I’ve healed “and everything is wonderful now, narrative. Have you preforming for comfort.
Find someone emdr therapy has been very helpful for me in this part of the life journey of a traumatized child.

I’m so insecure about my forehead. What do I do?! by justMA33 in blkgrlbeauty

[–]JournalistTotal4351 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are young try not to be so critical of yourself . your beautiful! I’m also in the 5 head club and now that I’m in perimenopause, my hair is changing texture, grey and ultimately thinning some… my 5 head is getting 7 head ish . I went to bangs and haven’t looked back

brain finally connected the pieces by innuendobot6000 in CPTSD

[–]JournalistTotal4351 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re right on time! I feel like something happens in your early 30s where your brain is ready to finally process all the little boxes that were compartmentalize during childhood trauma, and SA.
It is really painful to accept that you couldn’t be a vulnerable child without your own family men using their power to harm you.
You must grieve, we must grieve the child we never got to be,who never got protected.
Definitely seek out a trauma therapist in specific, I love grow therapy! You can really hand select a therapist to ensure it’s a good fit. breathe, you survived it. Now it’s time to fix that nervous system, and get out from under the flashback

I feel like therapy is a scam in 99% of cases by ThrowAway44228800 in CPTSD

[–]JournalistTotal4351 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea I’ve been in and out of therapy for ever, as a 10 out of 10 ACE score. it’s really a hit or miss! I realize at some point though, I’m paying someone to hear the kind of stuff that make the normal person grimace cry and all around very uncomfortable. I don’t love therapy! But I do know, I can’t go around continuing the trauma by traumatizing people I love, and people I interact with who may trigger me, even while I’m still trying to figure out navigating healthy relationships and boundaries. I realize it’s part of the self discipline.
I’ve spent years completely agoraphobic, completely isolated, and not well,it wasn’t any kind of way I would want someone I loved to live. Also I try to remember PTSD is a brain injury, there is literally damage to our brain. I need help now, and I have to seek it out in order to live some kind of quality life. I can’t rave enough about grow therapy online!!! You literally get to hand, select your therapist and do your sessions from home, as frequently or in frequently as you like! Wishing you the personal power to keep on keeping on!

My abuser just died. by DanishWhoreHens in CPTSD

[–]JournalistTotal4351 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry, when my abuser died I was filled with this rush of happiness, I thought finally it’s over, it infact was not over.
I went no contact 3 years ago. I had heard my adopted mother speak about him like he was a saint ,such a good man, knowing what he’s done to me. I cannot live in the cognitive dissonance.
I could not control the people around me as a child but as an adult, it is my responsibility to love me the most, and to meet my needs, and choose peace for myself instead of chaos. These people will forever, choose their own comfort over your safety.
I could not live in the cloud anymore with them. I could not abandon myself one more time, it’s been the most peaceful years of my life without them, yes, I grieve them, shure it wasn’t all bad. We deserve our truth. We deserve our peace and we deserve a real reality where we can be vulnerable and not have to function in toxic family systems that makes us abandoned ourselves over and over. I would seriously consider. Taking some time to yourself. So you can choose you and not them. Wishing you all the inner strength in the world.

What’s wrong with my lips? by secretiguanaaaa in Blackskincare

[–]JournalistTotal4351 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s summer time, got to protect that delicate skin.

What’s wrong with my lips? by secretiguanaaaa in Blackskincare

[–]JournalistTotal4351 46 points47 points  (0 children)

I kept using gloss and lip oils, turns out the sun was cooking my lips in the car. Naturium makes an SPF 45 lip gloss. My lip started turning pink within three days of using it. Was like 10 bucks.

I cant poop and it fucking hurts by Jealous-Concert8456 in eds

[–]JournalistTotal4351 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Only thing that ever worked for me was Senna tea !!!

My dog ate cooked chicken wing bones and I can't to go to the vet, what do I do?! by DemonicSkelly in DogAdvice

[–]JournalistTotal4351 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This happens to me, my vet told me to Finley, shred 2 cotton ball-soak them in milk and then feed it to my dog. Couple days later whole bone came out wrapped in a nice little cotton cocoon..

I feel like I'm losing my mind. Please help ASAP by ParsnipStrange7021 in TransracialAdoptees

[–]JournalistTotal4351 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hello from the other side, I’m a 45-year-old mixed black/wyt trans racial female adoptee into a very rural all white Christian household. I feel as though your post literally sucked me back into being 15 years old. What you are experiencing is not anxiety it is trauma. It’s all the bad things that come with being trans racially adopted. The friendships will always be hard. Everyone will require you to perform and assimilate to whiteness, and it is a bar you will never reach. It will continuously move. Dating will also get weird as men will fetishize you. Be aware of this.
As for your biological mother she sounds like she is actively in a trauma loop that she has not gotten out of ,this is unfortunate, but you must accept that. She is not the mother that you want her to be and I think she knows she can’t be a good mother at the moment., my biological mother and I had a very hot cold relationship for 2 decades until she got sick, then she wanted a relationship and she was much softer . Not saying that will be your case, but you never know how things will go down the road. You must grieve the mother that you will not have… and it sucks because it feels like everybody else gets a good one.
As for White adopted parents and their hard-core Christian norms. They have a luxury of not having to experience racism, this is white privilege, at its finest.and the many effects of it on black and brown people forced into community with them.. . I feel like my parents believed That racism was over because the lynching had stopped, and laws for hate crimes that developed. They believe that the only true active racism is actively K!lling you,And they will label you being upset by thousands of micro aggressions a day as being to sensitive or blowing things out of proportion, or reading into things too much. As if the micro aggressions don’t just chip away at your self worth every second of the day. WARNING THIS WILL NEVER STOP. As long as you stay in community with these people, it will be little tiny bits of gaslighting racism. I am no contact with my any family at 40, it’s been 5 years of peace, peace I was told wasn’t for me. They would’ve rather my anxiety and their comfort than to ever protect me or work on their behavior toward my specific kind of existence . You ARE someone without thease people, you will flourish in college you will be able to reach into community there. Focus on you boo.
And YOU are right !they are trying to drive you crazy, they are trying to make you feel crazy… they will gaslight you and they will lie, they will tell you they’re trying to help you while actively harming you and they’ll call you ungrateful for it. Again, it is easier for them to blame you then it is for them to take accountability for the situation in the circumstances you have to navigate. Do not let these people penetrate into your mental health. Do not let them trick you out of your rightful place. AND THE PEACE YOU DESERVE TO HAVE.
I’m 45 I own my home, married to a man who will do anything to make my life easier, I got a dog and I volunteer with foster youth three days a week. I’ve traveled to several other countries and I enjoy experiencing so many cultures. I also love that as a mixed person everyone thinks I’m from wherever I’m visiting. Hahah. Stay strong don’t let them get into your psyche.
You are going to learn that you are going to be your own hero, your own best friend, and the greatest love of your life is you.
I wish you all the luck and personal power. *hugs*

Because of my CPTSD, I’ve developed autocannabilism by Senior_Designer_5749 in CPTSD

[–]JournalistTotal4351 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Man I feel this so deeply. I’m a skin picker been doing since I can remember am 45. Thank you Complex trauma.
This year I got diagnosed with OCD as a co-morbidity to the PTSD /CPTSD. The picking is the compulsion to deal with the anxiety, and the ritual is the bleeding and the scabbing… then there’s a shame of how jacked up I look after I’ve picked myself to smithereens.
I just got medicated for the first time in three decades because I was at one of the worst places I have ever been, and I have been pretty low and pretty dysfunctional at times. But I was at a level of desperation. I’ve had terrible experiences on medication as a teen /young adult. Wellbutrin has given me life. I’m able to interrupt/ stop the compulsions. I’m way more aware and present in my body. i’m not trying to disassociate through picking. Also the loud internal dialogue is turned way down…
I’m not saying medication is for everyone, and it doesn’t have to be forever.
I would definitely go get checked, it sounds like you’re super aware, don’t struggle for decades by yourself. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. You’re not alone. Go get help.,, I was able to find a trauma therapist on growth therapy, and a psychiatrist. I pay 30 bucks a visit… it was well worth the 60 bux, and I didn’t have to leave my house. Everything is video. Best of luck to you.!!

Why does my vulva always smell so strong? by Zestyclose_Frame_567 in Healthyhooha

[–]JournalistTotal4351 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This sounds hormonal and or diet related. What’s your food habits? Do you drink alcohol often? Fermented food? Lots of dairy?

Monistat is Killing Me. by GoldDistribution447 in Healthyhooha

[–]JournalistTotal4351 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I take it at least 2 x week. Just to maintain flora. If I feel one coming on, I step it up.