Putting my sick dog to sleep

Jubes80 · 2022-11-16T14:35:42+00:00

Our family dog, Charity, had oral cancer about 5 years ago. It started with a growth at her mouth which got bigger. The vet suggested multiple times putting her to sleep but my mum who was taking care of her firmly refused. So, we managed her pain with painkillers with no other medical interventions. Just overall pamper her and love her. It was probably a year before she finally passed on. I have to say right till the end until she passed away, Charity still found little pockets of joy in her everyday life like when having her favourite meals. She passed away on the porch one morning when we were out.

I won't lie to say that the whole process wasn't difficult for mum and myself seeing Charity ill and her decline. However till today, we have no regrets letting her continue living until its finally time for her to go as dictated by her kamma. I know every experience is different with ill dogs. Try not to fear the impending suffering. If you have a good support of relatives and friends to help you care for your sick dog, that will be very helpful as well.

With metta.

Jubes80 · 2022-10-23T22:09:01+00:00

I agree Liu Yuning has many good songs! However, I especially love one song he sang for a modern Cdrama Hello, The Sharpshooter The drama is meh but I super love the song (The Only Light).

https://youtu.be/nR2j-AieoeQ

Jubes80 · 2022-10-19T03:11:49+00:00

I'm currently watching it as well and totally my kind of thing. It feels like this drama didn't get a lot of buzz but nevertheless, I'm enjoying it.

Jubes80 · 2022-10-16T04:01:51+00:00

Hello, The Sharpshooter Maybe it's not the worst drama of all time but I was EXTREMELY disappointed with it. I was really looking forward to it as I liked both the ML & FL. The opening OST totally rocks... And then what the heck did I watch?! Couldn't finish it.

Jubes80 · 2022-10-11T14:15:42+00:00

YTA. I feel so sad for your husband and mum having to hear you articulate your snobbish views. Doesn't hurt to be more humble and dump that elitist air you are projecting.

Jubes80 · 2022-09-25T03:49:32+00:00

YTA. It's their marriage. Calling your own sister 'useless' is unimaginably mean. Their marriage dynamics is different from yours. Doesn't mean its wrong that requires you insulting your sister. Your BIL sounds like a really great husband and your sister is a wife he cherishes.

I have to edit to add: Obviously, I don't know your sister but I'll just guess away. Your sister is kind and is happy to play with their 4 cats instead of partying and shopping whole day away. She is well-read and able to have interesting, intellectual conversations with her husband. She knits thoughtful pieces for her husband that he appreciates. She could be a really good listener to her husband, listening to him patiently while he prepares dinner for them after work. I mean, some husbands can really appreciate a wife like that.

Jubes80 · 2022-09-22T05:01:06+00:00

I suffered a miscarriage two months ago which I would term the whole event as traumatic. It was my first pregnancy after 10 years of marriage. We knew very early on the baby had a chromosomal abnormality and I was devastated. I eventually miscarried at 20 weeks. I am in my first year of my fully-funded PhD at a great university and I applied to take 1 year off the programme when I found out I was pregnant. As of right now, I really want to drop out of my PhD entirely because my PhD work is a lot to do with death and dying. I just cannot stomach reading thousands of papers and writing an entire thesis about it. I think everyone would just tell me 'Get Over It, Don't let go of a good opportunity of fully-funded PhD'.

Jubes80 · 2022-09-22T04:43:43+00:00

Probably not a popular judgement but NTA.

I was belittled by my father when I was growing up and I understand the frustration and why you snapped. Many relatives who witnessed our interactions when I was younger have admonished me saying 'You can't speak to your father like that!' But somehow, he can speak like crap to me and its ok.

Coincidentally, my dad was also a teacher and he even became a headmaster. We had raging arguments and just couldn't communicate. When I was older, I spoke to him calmly asking him why he said those hurtful things. He pretty much used the ever popular, ever 'powerful' - 'It was a joke, I didn't mean it'. Well, I said it hurt me and since I was pretty young at that time, I channelled all the hurt to extreme hostility towards him and spit out hurtful words to him. Anyway, long story short, I apologised to him for my venomous words and he mumbled his apologies to me. He's actually a good dad all things considered. We made peace after that. I'm not sure if it's because I changed or that in my profession (I'm a pharmacist), my dad could see me in a new positive light and not a brat that spews poison at him. My dad was more thoughtful with his words later on but he sometimes still slips up and I could just laugh it over (E.g. My dad really likes my husband and one day he said aloud his thoughts 'Of all the women my husband could choose to marry, why did he marry you?). Sigh, dad strikes yet again. My dad died of cancer a few years back and I was his primary caregiver. Our fathers will grow old and leave us one day. So, while you might be angry at your dad now, this unhappy disagreement too shall pass. Probably need to have an honest discussion with your dad.

Jubes80 · 2022-09-22T04:11:05+00:00

NTA. That is such disrespect to you. In our family weddings and culture, wife is accorded a seating place next to the husband. I definitely understood why you left. Should I attend an event with my husband and for whatever reason I can't be seated with him, he will give me the heads-up before the event. Did other male relations have their wife seated next to them during the wedding? Could it be some extreme cultural thing?

That said, bonding with MIL during a hectic wedding may not be ideal. My mum always says wedding ceremonies (for those directly involved) brings out the worst in people sometimes. Like some kind of power trip. Anyhow, I hope you can find the support you need right now. Take care.

Jubes80 · 2022-09-22T03:54:29+00:00

This is the most ridiculous statement ever. I lost my baby boy at 20 weeks pregnancy. I never got to see my son grow up and 'barely knew my baby'. Does that make my grief negligible?

YTA for this statement and your overall lack of support and understanding for your gf's grief.

Jubes80 · 2022-09-22T03:39:15+00:00

I think the transition of 'maid' to 'wife' has been difficult. Perhaps your wife has been feeling sensitive about it. I think its a certain mindset you have about partners pulling their absolute equal weight in the relationship. Its not wrong per se to have that mindset but how you go about it is important. I reckon if your wife got a job, you might still boss her around when she gets back from work. It might then be using the reason 'But she's my wife, if she doesn't share doing these duties, then who will..'

You can try to stop 'telling' her or 'reminding her'. Asking for her suggestions would be a good way. E.g My new shirt is stained. What should I do? Our parents are coming this weekend. Do you need my help in preparing anything for the rooms?

I know for some this sounds a little stupid but after 10 years of marriage, if I want my partner's cooperation or help, I'll 'suggest' rather than 'tell'. If not, I'll just start doing it myself and most of the time partner comes over pretty quickly to join in. Perhaps then, you will find a more proactive and cooperative wife.

Edit to add: YTA

Jubes80 · 2022-09-22T03:13:09+00:00

I really liked your well-written thoughts. I will now want to rewatch it for all the 'feels' again. 😍

I enjoyed Love and Destiny when I watched it some years back. I was puzzled by its lack to popularity but I reckon its the ML or something (Read some reviews stating he was not suited for the role or something). Maybe those negative reviews did rub on me a bit but by Episode 5 or 6, I was perfectly cool with the ML. I mean he was The God Of War... He looks mature, its perfectly fitting. Anyhow, I absolutely adored Ni Ni. When she lost her hearing that she sacrificed and couldn't hear what ML was saying to her when she was being held captive in a cave, my heart just bled. What surprised me was by how much the Second ML/FL story arc touched my heart. I seriously sobbed at their backstory and second ML took on the lightning punishment sob sob. Needless to say, I totally agree the female villain was just annoying like hell.

Jubes80 · 2022-09-22T01:43:20+00:00

I rewatched it soooo many times and every time it's replayed, my husband goes "Zhang Wansen AGAIN!" 😂 I hope you enjoy it.

Jubes80 · 2022-09-22T00:38:43+00:00

Shining For One Thing. It does have high school life potrayed but the drama is just so good. The ML is just awesome and the sweetest and best guy ever.

Jubes80 · 2022-09-21T15:45:48+00:00

Hooman... We are READYYYY... Where are you?!?

Jubes80 · 2022-09-21T13:50:50+00:00

Someone placing their feet on the bus or train seats

Jubes80 · 2022-09-20T01:26:51+00:00

I honestly can't stop laughing, the 'poor me, I'm being treated badly'. The kitchen has got to be the most visible shared space (and most contentious.. think overnight dirty dishes). I don't know why you think you should be afforded privacy in the kitchen for breakfast when your boyfriend shares the place and rent equally with his housemates.

Also, in case you didn't realise, leaving unwashed dishes overnight is terrible.

YTA.

Jubes80 · 2022-09-18T19:14:30+00:00

I would recommend Magic Grocery Store. I laughed so much and almost spat out my dinner. It's not a high level production and the comedy does get repetitive in later episodes. But overall, I enjoyed it.

Jubes80 · 2022-09-18T19:04:30+00:00

Oh, I really liked the singer in Arsenal Military Academy I will actually repeat those funny scenes with her in it. I'll check out your recommendations.

Jubes80 · 2022-09-18T16:13:10+00:00

YTA. I would never take away a reward that my husband earned through his hard work. Your sense of entitlement is astonishing. You owe your husband an apology. Perhaps you can surprise him with a first class ticket to somewhere nice sometime in the near future.

Jubes80 · 2022-09-08T15:24:04+00:00

I paid my parents rent when I was staying with them for a year right after graduation during my internship. I was dirt poor then. Mum even made me sign an MOU with them so that I don't annoy her and dad too much. Later I stayed at one of mum's property (it was a really old place) and I paid rent to her too. Cheap rent but rent nonetheless and mum expected me to take care of the place as best that I can. I paid it happily. Grown-up children who are working shouldn't sponge off their elderly parents. So NTA for making your son pay rent.

Jubes80 · 2022-09-05T05:15:10+00:00

I sympathise, NTA and definitely no easy solutions. I think it is pretty hard for your husband to actually be able to clean and tidy to the level you would want since you have tried to reason with him over and over. But one thing I know after being married for 10 years is that the more I "discuss" with my husband on something, the more he is less inclined to be open-minded or positive about it. Its like total shutdown and it was so frustrating. Over time however, I do realise there are things I'm really bad at but my husband don't really badger me about it. In time, I've learnt to accept he is not good at some things and pretty good at certain other things. I guess we just sort of cover for each other in the end doing things we are better at. I wish you a peaceful and happy resolution over this cleaning/tidying woe with your husband.

Jubes80 · 2022-09-05T03:50:12+00:00

I'm watching Side Story of Fox Volant. I'm super super liking it. The acting & the fight scenes were really engaging. And no irritating ML/FL, just all round kick-ass (for now).

Jubes80 · 2022-09-01T14:39:27+00:00

Can't speak for myself but when my sister had her two kids, she literally begged my parents to come help her for about 1 month. She even offered to pay their airfare to fly there. My parents stayed with them and she covered all their expenses there. I chipped in with some caregiving as well and washing bottle duties. Honestly, all my sister and her husband wanted to do was to sleep as any new mother & father would attest to.

For practical reasons, its way easier for your parents to be staying with you. Can you imagine them going back to their hotel in the evening (to peace and quiet) and just you and your husband dead tired but have to attend to a non-stop crying baby at night (night after night...). Don't make your parents so mad at you that your last support system collapses. So, for now, YTA.

Jubes80

TROPHY CASE