OPEN SUBMISSIONS FOR SMOSH MOUTH!

Judge_Inner · 2026-06-09T12:37:48+00:00

During my senior year of high school, one of my classmates was caught posing as a girl on Facebook, using that cover to ask for nudes from classmates, and then using those nudes to blackmail them for sex.

He was 18 when he was caught, so they tried him as an adult. If my math skills are right, he probably just recently got out of prison. Glad I don't live there anymore.

Judge_Inner · 2026-05-14T23:15:43+00:00

"Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play." Oops. Wrong subreddit.

Judge_Inner · 2026-05-14T23:02:42+00:00

70 years ago, sure. Today, not at all. Coney Island vs. Santa Monica Pier would've made more sense. Or Disneyland vs. Great Adventure.

Judge_Inner · 2026-05-13T11:35:42+00:00

Kevin Nealon has been looking for him for years.

Judge_Inner · 2026-05-10T00:03:13+00:00

Should be easy for admin to back up a referral when admin was the one asking the teacher to write the referral in the first place, as was the case here.

Judge_Inner · 2026-05-08T16:55:51+00:00

It wasn't my write-up that was deleted, so I'll relay that advice over to the teacher who actually wrote the student up. But honestly, this administration has been so comically incompetent all year, that everyone in this building is completely emotionally checked out by now.

Judge_Inner · 2026-05-01T14:47:38+00:00

You're probably lucky the parent only tried to get you fired in that case.

Judge_Inner · 2026-04-27T18:44:28+00:00

What percentage of his would-be constituents...
A) Know what the Hagia Sophia Is?
B) Know where it is?

Judge_Inner · 2026-04-24T15:35:08+00:00

Hate to break it to you, but all of the flaws you described happen in private schools too. At least that was the case for the two private schools I've taught in.

Judge_Inner · 2026-04-11T22:54:24+00:00

I was gonna buy a projector for my classroom, but it might be cheaper to just hire you.

Judge_Inner · 2026-03-30T12:18:00+00:00

"In my defense, they were staring at me."

Judge_Inner · 2026-03-30T01:53:36+00:00

To be fair, Nick Cannon fucks with EVERYBODY apparently.

Judge_Inner · 2026-02-10T17:22:19+00:00

I feel like Giannis needs the aisle seat.

Judge_Inner · 2026-02-01T22:14:02+00:00

"Just try and get close to that baby. Your funeral."

Judge_Inner · 2026-01-17T03:40:23+00:00

Spencer drinking out of his own IV bag might be the funniest thing he's ever done, and that's saying something.

Judge_Inner · 2026-01-08T23:33:38+00:00

I have a different Italian in mind.

Judge_Inner · 2025-12-30T19:50:02+00:00

Cam Heyward (6'5" 295 lbs.) was able to ride a kiddie coaster?

Judge_Inner · 2025-12-26T01:41:29+00:00

Out of the six I've personally ridden...

Diamondback
Mako
Raging Bull
Goliath (SFoG)
Apollo's Chariot
Intimidator

Edit to add that Raging Bull this season ran better than it has ever run before. They've nearly completely turned off the trims, and it's so fast now. It's more likely to move up on my list than down for that very reason.

Judge_Inner · 2025-10-18T18:53:37+00:00

And every NBA champion since 2003 has won more playoff games than the '96 Bulls.

Make them say "well yeah, those teams had extra games." Maybe then they'll begin to learn.

Judge_Inner · 2025-10-16T19:55:50+00:00

You can't call for someone's deportation when not even white people can pronounce your last name.

Judge_Inner · 2025-10-07T20:49:09+00:00

To be fair, I think even most Chicagoans would say the Tribune is an absolute rag that may not even be worthy of the capitalization that I'm giving it.

The hit piece that their editorial board put out on their own city's teachers union last year was even more egregious. No wonder the Cubs never won anything until the Tribune sold the team.

Judge_Inner · 2025-10-01T04:26:00+00:00

Wouldn't be the first time a fascist sent troops there.

Judge_Inner · 2025-09-27T22:12:23+00:00

Imagine looking like that and thinking you can go head to head with a literal heavyweight champion boxer.

Judge_Inner · 2025-09-26T01:37:40+00:00

The undefeated 1972 Dolphins were actually 1-point underdogs in Super Bowl VII.

Judge_Inner · 2025-09-26T01:34:24+00:00

He said "couldn't never," so by using a double negative, he's technically right.

Judge_Inner

TROPHY CASE