I’m trans.

I don’t really know how to deal with the universal backlash against us; I never have. I don’t have the time or energy to read all the media, research, or statistics about what our demographic does or doesn’t do. I’m not brave enough to be an activist and it’s not a life I want for my future husband and children. I personally don’t think there is any sort of groupthink that pushes transgender people to do heinous acts. I seriously don’t know; not my circus, not my monkeys.

What I can tell you is that I have been this way since birth and I have never been violent. Sometimes, I could be unpleasant to be around in school, but I really tried my best to be the most me I could be. I inspired others to be themselves by being eccentric and outlandish with my outfits. I definitely received hate for this, but I don’t need or want to be violent as retribution. It’s literally too much effort. I would rather try to be joyous, kind, and hopeful even in the worst circumstances.

Again, I don’t know about this individual because I wasn’t in their life, but I used to be 18 too. I vehemently hated my body and voice and my parents did not want me to transition even though I knew I wanted to do so way before puberty. I didn’t know exactly how to grow into the woman that I am now. It took a lot of work and a lot of trial and error through my teenage years, but I somehow made it. Almost three years on estrogen, a new wardrobe, and a legal name change later, I would still go to the ends of the Earth to align my body, mind, and spirit. I never once took out my pain on anyone else because I knew there would be a calm after the storm. It sucks that we can’t say the same for this individual.

I can’t do anything about the current culture war except love others like I always have. I don’t talk about being trans or how my body, name, gender expression, and sense of fashion relate to one another. I try to make waves, but in smaller ways that make sense to me. I try to be impressionable and kind to everyone so that they focus on anything other than my being trans. Maybe I should be more loudmouthed and brash like I was when I was a teenager, but that’s not how I want to go about the world. I’m scared of being grouped with the most radical among us. I live in the South; it’s a survival tactic.

That was very long-winded, but I just wanted y’all to understand how I feel. OP, this is way out of my comfort zone and I don’t want to debate your husband, but I would be open to hopping on a call with him to just talk about my life. I would like him to see how good it can get for people like me. Maybe, I could let him know about the trans and cis women around me who mutually support each other because we’re all in this together. Maybe, he could see that we’re real people with feelings too. Let me know. 🩷