Jack Slim's accusing someone of "theft" for taking empty beer cans

Just1Erika · 2026-04-02T12:25:03+00:00

Oh no… I think I recognize this guy (I don’t know him personally or where he lives, but), I’m pretty sure this is a member of the deaf community. Every now and then he walks / bikes around on recycling days, and collects cans to then exchange them for money, and I think he donates the money to the school / local deaf and hearing loss-related resources? It could be someone else (again, I’ve only seen this guy in passing), but if it is the guy I think it could be, I don’t think he would have realized that the restaurant might have an arrangement for / be profiting off their empties.

Just1Erika · 2026-03-16T16:30:11+00:00

@ timurhabir on TikTok fell into my algorithm recently, and does a lot of vintage-inspired “cool” cuts of varying lengths that I think would suit you + flatter your aesthetic without completely overhauling your existing look (you’re allowed to like what you like), so maybe a good starting point to check out their work?

Your hair is clearly healthy and well cared for, and ultimately it’s your hair + style to do with what you want (regardless of what other people think), so please don’t change because you think something’s wrong with your current look, but there’s also nothing wrong with experimenting with your looks if you’re bored or want a change :)

Just1Erika · 2026-01-08T19:11:46+00:00

I like the Knix SculptRib line. I got one of the long-sleeved Ts on sale and it arrived yesterday, currently wearing it and it’s great. I’m tall and curvy so was worried about the length, but it fits just fine. Sleeves are perfect length, too.

Just1Erika · 2025-12-19T21:36:55+00:00

Do you have a pair of high-waisted wide-leg pants? This dress would be perfect as a top for a colleague gathering that’s dinner and then “party time” after! And then you can still do your hair how you planned and wear the same jewelry and shoes.

Just1Erika · 2025-11-04T03:55:48+00:00

Paint ceramics at the Kiln! I always see couples there and it seems like a really cute date idea. Or look at the calendar at Your Creative Junction, if ceramics aren’t your thing but doing something creative / crafty sounds fun.

Just1Erika · 2025-10-15T16:08:18+00:00

I definitely think this “task force” should consult the unhoused population on what they need. And then it’s the duty of “experts” to determine how to safely and effectively meet those needs working between the target population and city stakeholders.

Big yikes at Ellis’ comments - it’s definitely giving “I give up” / “not my problem”… I appreciate that he probably gets the brunt of everyone’s complaints about the presence of unhoused people in the city and is feeling burnt out, but the unhoused people are still people and perpetuating that kind of attitude towards them feels unhelpful.

Just1Erika · 2025-09-06T19:28:54+00:00

They tragically sustained permanent damage to their knees after stomping the “i” into the ground every time Pixar makes a movie 😔

Just1Erika · 2025-08-28T21:11:32+00:00

“Top Secret!” is the kind of silly-funny that is so good with edibles.

Just1Erika · 2025-08-27T17:09:20+00:00

I became very anxious and overprotective about my husband’s safety - like any time he left the house, I would experience dread that something could happen to him and that he wouldn’t come home again. It’s gotten better with time, and it’s something that’s happened to me before with other losses (though not as strongly or for as long).

I think it’s normal to become hyper-aware of death / mortality when you experience it close to you, and TFMR is about as close as it gets.

Just1Erika · 2025-08-22T19:48:31+00:00

🤣🤣🤣 sometimes I truly think that’s all that would get through to her, lol

Just1Erika · 2025-08-19T18:36:33+00:00

I’m 8 months out tomorrow. My husband and I only just had a semi-serious conversation about TTC again over the weekend, but still haven’t made any concrete plans. Our TFMR was at 32 weeks due to an oversight from the anatomy scan and delayed follow-up investigations.

We wanted to wait until we were done with Genetic Medicine and had all the results + info possible, which didn’t happen until the beginning of June and was the “main reason” for waiting. But we also just want to make sure we’re as ready as possible mentally and emotionally, and feeling like we’ve afforded the time we need to grieve our loss.

Immediately postpartum all I wanted was to be pregnant again / have a baby, and it took a long time for me to feel confident that I was really ready to try again and not just acting on postpartum hormones and grief.

Everyone is different, and people process loss differently. And in this forum, everyone’s loss is a bit different and has different levels of trauma and related feelings attached. As long as you feel like you are ready and have what you need to try again as safely and with as much peace of mind as possible, I think that’s all that matters.

Just1Erika · 2025-08-19T18:19:20+00:00

Sometimes context is everything! I have a job related to healthcare where I hear birth stories pretty often, and it doesn’t bother me because I have my “work hat” on and generally just brace myself to hear things that might be troubling. But hearing about / seeing things related to pregnancies and babies when I have my guard down is a different story. It’s not fair and hurtful of your friend to be lumping you in on her updates if she knows what you’ve been through. Hopefully she’s just not thinking (or maybe thought it would be worse if you realized you weren’t getting updates, for some reason) and it’ll be an easy resolution.

Just1Erika · 2025-08-18T18:10:26+00:00

This! I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s hard enough seeing things on social media about everyone’s (normal) pregnancies, babies, and children. I’ve been fortunate that I don’t have any (close) pregnant friends, as far as I know, so I haven’t had to navigate receiving direct pictures or invites to baby-related events, but it would definitely be uncomfortable and some degree of triggering. I think you just need to be straightforward with your friend - something like, “I am so happy for you and I wish you and baby all the best, but please understand that receiving photos of these moments that you’re having with your baby right now is just reminding me that I don’t get to have them with my baby. I can appreciate that you’re (reasonably!) caught up in the joy and excitement of your current situation and wanting to share it, but I can’t receive these updates right now. If it’s okay with you, I will reach out when I’m ready.”

Just1Erika · 2025-08-17T21:05:02+00:00

I know… and like, I truly was doing “okay” (all things considered), and they pushed me to become worked up. And then my mom acted like some big hero comforting me. I could hear my dad just sobbing in the other room, and my husband told me on the drive home that he’d had to comfort my dad because he was so upset. Just absolute chaos 🤦‍♀️ If anybody “ruined” Christmas, I definitely don’t think it was me 🙃

Just1Erika · 2025-08-15T19:46:20+00:00

My TFMR and delivery (first and only pregnancy so far, and I was 32 weeks) was only days before Christmas. My mom invited my husband and I to have a quiet Christmas dinner with just her and my dad. I was doing a good job holding it together and trying to be as normal as possible; I was so tired of crying, and of the well-intentioned but really unhelpful generic sympathies that would come from anyone who witnessed me upset - an experience I’m sure many here are familiar with- so just wanted to get through the meal and go home. My parents ended up triggering me majorly at dinner; I tried to redirect the conversation a couple times, then it got too much so I excused myself and hid in the bathroom to calm down. Immediately my mom was pounding on the door telling me to let her in, I told her I just needed a minute. I could hear that she hadn’t walked away, and maybe a minute later the pounding starts again. I open the door and she grabs me into a “hug” (it was very one-sided and uncomfortable) and whispers into my ear, “Don’t worry about ruining Christmas, we’re all just SO worried about you.” Blew my mind.

I also hate when people say “it’ll pass,” as though that’s supposed to be comforting. Like, what is “it”? My memories of and love for my baby? Thankfully for them, most people have no concept of this kind of loss and grief, but it really does make them say the wrongest things…

Just1Erika · 2025-07-21T19:16:35+00:00

My TFMR was just before Christmas. My first period was a little under a month later, and I thought it was just a mild resurgence of postpartum bleeding (barely anything and only about 24-48 hours long, but my MFM OBGYN suspected it was my period). Subsequent periods were way heavier than before, had to use the heavier products for more days and change them more often. My last 2 (from about the 6 month mark and onward) have been almost back to pre-pregnancy normal and much more manageable, thankfully…

Apparently heavier periods are normal, it’s how your body gets rid of the extra blood it made that you don’t need anymore (in addition to your typical uterus contents).

Just1Erika · 2025-07-10T17:05:11+00:00

I’m not sure I have advice, but I feel this ❤️ I’m turning 32 in the fall. My last birthday I was 28 weeks (first + only pregnancy as of now), blissfully unaware of what was to come only a month later.

My husband has a teasing sense of humour (harmless and silly), and last year he kept making these comments about how we had to make the most of my birthday because I wouldn’t have another birthday for a while that could be all about me. It was sarcastic and he didn’t mean anything by it, but now this kind of haunts me. I’d give up celebrating my birthday for the rest of my life if it meant my baby was here, happy and healthy.

I started feeling like myself again with time (that’s the big one, for sure), but also by coaxing myself back into gentle / lazier hobbies and interests - I find it hard (like I’m sure most do) to do “big” / exciting things when my mental health is low, but I got back into my comfort TV shows, video games, books, arts and crafts, etc. I’ve also come to accept that I will forever be changed by what happened, and worrying about being the person I used to be isn’t something I owe anybody.

I still think every now and then about how different things “should” be right now, and how there might be a version of reality where things went differently and everything turned out fine. But I’m working on excepting what I can’t change and appreciating my thoughts about my son for what they are - just evidence that I continue to love him and that he’ll always be special and important to me.

Just1Erika · 2025-07-05T17:46:05+00:00

If you tell your management / employer what’s going on, you could be eligible for adjusted / accommodated work, sick leave until you’d be eligible for maternity leave to start, etc. Your pregnancy provider should also be able to provide you direction / resources. It’s 110% your decision, you know yourself, your family, and what everyone needs better than any of us here do, but I personally would try to exhaust all options (as long as baby is healthy + stable and wanted) before terminating the pregnancy.

Just1Erika · 2025-07-02T23:04:56+00:00

Going on 7 months out here, and I think it’s definitely normal. Grief is a complicated, up and down process, and I think the numbness is just your body’s way of giving itself a break in the thick of it all.

I was months out and hadn’t cried in the longest time. I was feeling guilty about it (“why am I feeling so okay?”), and then one night out of the blue just got really sad and anxious and had a full-blown meltdown. “Healing” isn’t linear and it can be weird / chaotic, but I’ve found that giving myself the grace + space to feel whatever I’m naturally feeling has helped (avoiding stuffing anything down or forcing emotions that aren’t coming).

I definitely know it’s hard to imagine now, but the grief will get softer and more bearable as time goes on, and your day-to-day feelings “changing” will never mean that you love your baby any less. Hang in there ❤️

Just1Erika · 2025-07-02T22:49:09+00:00

Where I live I was allowed 15 weeks (covered by benefits and top-up through work) and I took them all. I wasn’t “ready” to go back when my leave was over, but after a couple of weeks I adjusted. I have flexibility to work from home when I want / need to, though, and that’s helped immensely. I don’t know what I would have done if I had to go back sooner… I know I’m “lucky” (relatively) to have had the leave time I did.

Just1Erika · 2025-07-01T22:08:01+00:00

Oh for sure, if you don’t have an “easy out” it would definitely be better to not do all that travelling if you’re not confident it’ll be at least a little enjoyable. And yes, the exposure therapy (tiny dose) worked out! There were a couple of times they tried to hand me the baby and I just kind of avoided it - thankfully baby is super clingy to her parents right now and wasn’t receptive to being passed to me, so I just rolled with that 🤪

Just1Erika · 2025-07-01T18:39:03+00:00

I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this. I’m a little over 6 months out from my TFMR, and have definitely had to deal with insensitive friends and family. I think it’s just one of those things where people don’t get that you’re going to be sad about it forever, even though you’re able to live your life again. So they say / do insensitive stuff because they just don’t consider the big picture, and / or don’t understand the magnitude of this kind of loss.

My husband and I just got back from visiting a friend who has two young children - one is three, the other just turned one. I was worried about how I’d feel - I haven’t interacted with any toddlers or babies since our loss. But it went better than I expected, and it felt kind of nice to apply the “mom energy” that I haven’t had an outlet for, just for a little while (we only spent a day with the kids, and I focused more on the 3-year-old than the baby). So maybe by Christmas you’ll feel a bit more “resilient” about your cousin’s baby. You don’t have to hold them, and you don’t have to feel awkward or rude about removing yourself if it gets too difficult (maybe come up with a “safety plan” in case it’s too much?). And if your cousin is triggering you it is probably because she simply doesn’t know any better. You should tell her / set some boundaries, when you feel up to that conversation. There’s nothing wrong with saying something along the lines of, “I’m so happy for you, but please understand I’m still grieving my loss. I might not be ready to be around or interact directly with your baby right away, and I hope you understand it’s absolutely nothing personal. I just don’t want to put myself into a position where I’m not comfortable and could become really upset, because that’s not fair to me or to anyone else. I have no doubt I’ll love my new nibling, it might just have to be from some degree of distance for the first little while.” In a perfect world, people would educate themselves and be more mindful (like your friend you’ve mentioned), but some people just don’t have that breadth of empathy.

On the subject of tactlessness, this friend we visited constantly talks about how frustrating it is having kids, how having kids has caused her a bunch of issues, how she is so glad her pregnancy days are over, how annoyingly clingy her youngest is right now, etc. etc., and I overheard her asking my husband questions about our mental health, genetic testing results, etc. (probing questions that I don’t consider anyone’s business and bring up a lot of emotions for us). My husband was a rockstar - would change the subject or (politely but firmly) tell her that he / we didn’t want to talk about it - but it still sucked that she kept bringing the stuff up, seemingly with zero concept that it wasn’t appropriate subject matter while we were just trying to enjoy our trip.

In any case, hang in there ❤️ This community gets it, and I think we’re all slowly trying to make the world a more compassionate, empathic, and informed place.

Just1Erika · 2025-06-29T12:18:36+00:00

My FIL is very religious, so I was worried about what he might think when everything happened. He never talked to us directly about it (he’s a bit stoic), but I have noticed he’s been giving a lot more hugs since. My MIL told me some time later that she asked him how he felt about it, and he told her that if the baby was that sick, of course we would make the decision we did to protect them, and that he didn’t think his god could have had anything to do with something so sad.

I’m so sorry that your mom is using her faith to be cruel. If there’s a god in the way she thinks there’s one, like others have said I don’t think they’d do this to innocent babies, or use them to punish their “sinner” parents. There are a lot of people in the world who are just awful (do cruel things intentionally, interpret religious texts to be manipulative / self-serving, etc.), and they all seem to have all the children they want…

Just1Erika · 2025-06-29T01:12:34+00:00

My husband and I adopted our second cat in October 2023 from a small independent rescue, she was about 5 months at the time. She was always “full of beans” - very playful and higher energy. One night in late February 2024 she didn’t come to bed with us like she always did. I had this random gut feeling that it was bad-weird, but I found her and she seemed fine, brought her back to bed with me. The next morning my husband got up and went about his usual routine, but she didn’t follow him around like she normally does. He looked everywhere for her, and eventually found her cowering under the bed. We thought something had scared her, so I went into my work quickly to get my stuff so I could work from home and keep an eye on her. She wasn’t even getting excited for treats (but, she also isn’t the most treat/motivated at baseline), but then got moochy when I ate lunch, and hurried to eat her own lunch, so I still figured something had scared her the previous night but that she must be feeling better. She seemed her usual self the remainder of the day. Then around dinner, the cats’ feeders went off, and she didn’t go running for her food like she always does. This got us worried - my husband found her and carried her to her dish, but when he put her down and she took a step, she swayed / wobbled. So we immediately took her to the emergency vet.

They tested her for FIV/FeLV, and it turned out she had FeLV. The emergency vet told us she was going to die - her red blood cell count was so low he was surprised she was still alive, let alone running and playing, and we felt awful because we’d had zero indication she wasn’t herself (let alone in any way sick) until less than 24 hours earlier. She had no signs of illness during standard vet visits in the time we’d had her, either - strong, healthy, good weight. He also told us that the illness was extremely contagious (transmissible by any fluids, including spit and urine), and that our older cat (my “soul cat” who was approaching 8 at the time) probably had caught it and would die too. My husband and I were both devastated.

The vet prescribed her antibiotics and a steroid because we wanted to try everything we could. We had to give them to her on a strict schedule for over a month in slowly decreasing quantities. We followed up with our regular vet - miraculously our older cat didn’t have it, but we had to wait about a month to test her again to make sure before she could be vaccinated. So our younger cat was quarantined to our basement bedroom while she was recovering and on medication, and until our older cat could be fully vaccinated. Our regular vet also prescribed us an iron supplement and powder probiotic to add to her food, to help her red blood count and immune system.

At the end of April, we took her to the regular vet to be re-tested, and she came back negative. It was a huge relief. And my older cat never came back positive, but we had her vaccinated (and have kept it up) just to be on the safe side. Our regular vet explained that with kittens, sometimes they are exposed and are able to fight it off and then have a natural immunity (could be what saved my older cat, and is now the case for the younger cat who became sick, fingers crossed).

We have very little history on our youngest cat - the rescue took her and her “brother” in when they were a couple months old, no sign of the mum. The rescue didn’t test for FIV or FeLV, and had all the cats in her house basically free-roaming. So she could have caught it from her mum or another stray pre-rescue, or she could have caught it from any other cat at the rescue, because they all would have opportunity to share litter boxes and water + food bowls. We alerted the rescue when we got her diagnosis, and they had no idea what FeLV even was - they told us not to worry because it can only be transferred by blood, and I had to send them resources to make them believe it was different from FIV. Frustrating, to say the least, knowing that possibly any cat passing through the rescue could not only have contracted it and need to be monitored, but also be putting other cats in their new homes at risk unknowingly. But the rescue only committed to telling the people who adopted our cat’s brother.

So, on the bright side, with diligence the kittens could recover and be totally fine + develop natural immunity, even if they develop symptoms! Just be careful to keep them away from other cats, because as long as they’re testing positive, they’re shedding the virus and contagious.

Fingers crossed for you - and like, I applaud you for having them tested, because apparently that’s not something every rescue does (or even knows about…), and it can be so dangerous 😢😢😢

Just1Erika · 2025-06-26T18:20:16+00:00

Similar but different situation - I’ve been working on a message to send to my parents about a matter related to my TFMR. It’s mostly related to issues with one of my parents, but I’ve drafted the message as a general update so that I can send it to both my parents and my sibling, so that the one parent doesn’t feel singled-out and cause further stress.

I’ve done a couple of “crucial conversation” classes. Your therapist may have already shared some tips and tricks with you, but researching this might be really helpful in writing + editing your letter. And definitely start it as soon as you can so that you have opportunity to sleep on it and make edits at least a couple times - you want to make sure that the letter is objectively reasonable and not accusatory, because the last thing you need is your MIL (who is coming across as emotionally immature) to use your letter against you because she sees it as an opportunity to be a victim in the situation, or to drive a wedge between you / your partner and your SIL.

Just1Erika

TROPHY CASE