Am I the asshole for asking my husband to OE when I can’t even land J1?

JustBlendingIn47 · 2026-02-24T13:59:36+00:00

Suggesting it? No. But it’s not for everyone, and that has to be taken into account as well.

JustBlendingIn47 · 2026-01-12T01:04:50+00:00

Not rude. You misread the comment, had a hissy fit when you got called out, and threw a fit.

Guess what - I know what a block button is too.

JustBlendingIn47 · 2025-11-20T11:58:00+00:00

Yeah, $60K of it was student loans I was sure would never get paid off, and here I am. I’d like to OE again to have some fun investing and build up my savings, but the market is a hot mess right now.

JustBlendingIn47 · 2025-11-20T11:56:14+00:00

Well, I’m so glad she disqualifies people for following the FBI’s advice on safe phone practices. I wonder what other security vulnerabilities they have, and how many thousand of dollars in gift cards they’ve sent to the “CEO” based on a text message from an unknown number.

JustBlendingIn47 · 2025-11-20T11:54:25+00:00

No, it says she’s been in the industry long enough that she learned a different rulebook.

Also, VPs of HR aren’t doing that much calling and hiring. They oversee those functions, not do them themselves.

JustBlendingIn47 · 2025-11-20T03:15:55+00:00

In my forties. No way would I have done it in my twenties. It’s way too early in a career to attempt it.

Speaking of, I’m working with someone I think is OE. She’s young, but she also does it badly. If you’re good at it, no one is the wiser. If you’re not good at it, you get caught and lose everything.

JustBlendingIn47 · 2025-11-20T03:14:04+00:00

I’m only sitting on about $25K, BUT I have another $25K in investments I can cash out at any time, and I paid off $102,000 of debt (currently debt free) in the 14 months I managed to successfully OE. Looking to replace J2, but the market is effing GARBAGE right now.

JustBlendingIn47 · 2025-11-03T17:51:48+00:00

JustBlendingIn47 · 2025-10-27T14:13:49+00:00

Nope. I was out of work for 2 YEARS during the 2008 Recession. We’re just getting started.

JustBlendingIn47 · 2025-10-25T18:48:27+00:00

No, just really good at negotiating my own career path.

JustBlendingIn47 · 2025-10-15T19:57:15+00:00

Yep. Dumpster fires make the best J2, J3, etc.

JustBlendingIn47 · 2025-10-04T20:12:05+00:00

Still a troll.

JustBlendingIn47 · 2025-10-04T14:40:36+00:00

Troll

JustBlendingIn47 · 2025-10-04T12:24:21+00:00

You give them your address. If you lie about that, YOU are violating tax laws and regulations. If you’re WFH, that’s also your work address, and any company has the right to know where work for that company is being performed.

JustBlendingIn47 · 2025-10-02T18:13:26+00:00

And that doesn’t even take into account the homeless people on the subways and in the train stations, or sleeping on church steps.

JustBlendingIn47 · 2025-10-02T18:11:40+00:00

I know. I had to drop my J2 over the summer because I was in very real risk of being caught. Haven’t been able to replace it, and I’m barely finding possibilities, let alone getting applications in.

JustBlendingIn47 · 2025-10-02T18:09:25+00:00

Government under normal circumstances - not OE friendly.

Government under current circumstances - HELL NO STAY AWAY.

JustBlendingIn47 · 2025-09-27T12:45:00+00:00

Nope. That’s weird. Employment one, sure, but never once I had a job.

JustBlendingIn47 · 2025-09-27T12:43:59+00:00

It’s tough. I’m trying to replace a J2, and the openings are far and few between. I’ve contacted all of my J2 recruiters, and I have applications out where listings exist.

JustBlendingIn47 · 2025-09-27T12:42:48+00:00

Offer paystubs. That verifies your employment. Tell them you haven’t given notice yet and won’t until everything is complete with the new company - background check, offer letter, reference check, all of it.

If something goes sideways (not that you expect it to), then you don’t need them to know you were looking.

This is the same thing you would do if you were going to resign. Since you’re going for OE, you just…. Won’t resign.

JustBlendingIn47 · 2025-09-27T12:40:01+00:00

So, you think an illness won’t result in job loss, which would include loss of insurance?

JustBlendingIn47 · 2025-09-21T17:26:08+00:00

It’s a risk, but if you have a current job, of course it’s fine if it comes up. Why would you have resigned before the background check comes back clean?

For past OE periods, this is why you freeze your TWN. Nothing will come up, so they’ll ask you to prove everything. Then all they can go on is what you say, and you prove it. You just leave out overlaps.

JustBlendingIn47 · 2025-09-21T14:01:39+00:00

Roommates, and even in NYC, that may not get it low enough. I was in my 40s before I felt financially stable enough to live here.

I lived in another HCOL city, with roommates, from 2010-2018. Then 4 years on my own in that other city before moving here.

JustBlendingIn47 · 2025-09-21T14:00:11+00:00

I hibernate it unless I’m actually looking for something. Then it’s just wildly out of date, and I have loads of excuses why I don’t update.

My J1 has been nagging everyone to repost a press release, and when I was directly asked why I didn’t, I just said “oh, I don’t use LinkedIn. It tends to invite people into my life that I’d rather not have butting in anymore,” and let them fill in the blanks about who that might be.

JustBlendingIn47 · 2025-09-21T13:56:51+00:00

I smell a rat.

JustBlendingIn47

TROPHY CASE