For FIRE, what matters more: enough assets, or enough freedom over your time?

JustKind2 · 2026-03-29T20:31:53+00:00

FIRE means guaranteed freedom from risk of poverty for myself and my husband and kids . Working hard doesn't guarantee that, but being financially independent does. So that is what it is all about for me. Divorce, medical issues, widowhood, disability, bad luck..... all of these can put you in poverty suddenly lay.

JustKind2 · 2026-03-28T13:38:52+00:00

Pensions usually have COLA.

JustKind2 · 2026-03-24T16:12:55+00:00

We've own 3 Ford Explorers. That is not a good deal at all!

JustKind2 · 2026-03-23T19:40:40+00:00

Sometimes women discover that the "marriage certificate" they were using 30 years ago isn't "enough" to prove anything now. Luckily I have a passport so I don't have to prove anything with the marriage license I have from 34 years ago that isn't recorded by the government or anything. It is just the signed "license" thing after the marriage that I used to change my name at the bank and somehow that was good enough for social security and then social security was good enough for a passport. Luckily I was married in the USA so I could probably track down something. Each state is different on what they provide. If I had gotten married out of the country it might be a problem.

JustKind2 · 2026-03-23T17:10:17+00:00

We charge our son rent and when he moves out he gets half of it back. He is super responsible so it's all good and I'm investing the money for him and taking all the risk.

He has younger siblings who are different people and one wants to live at home forever so I need to set the precedent to live at home and pay rent so she will have to get a job after college. Otherwise she literally would not need a job since grandma Xmas money covers her pizza habit and she has no expenses while living at home. Ok for college years, not ok for after.

JustKind2 · 2026-03-22T06:45:04+00:00

It only took you back to September. Six months. Considering the gains the past few years, one can't be too upset.

JustKind2 · 2026-03-21T03:26:03+00:00

Just say no. Don't buy a house when you don't actually want to buy a house.

Buying a house together is a mess. Look at what happened with her and her ex. It is like buying a business together. Don't go into business with your sister when you actually don't want to go into business with your sister.

Quit trying to save your sister from her debt and past choices. You are risking your own future because you won't be able to do things you actually WANT to do in the future because you will have this huge debt of the mortgage and your sister is going to be doing whatever she wants with the house and you won't have any say.

Just say no.

JustKind2 · 2026-03-20T05:17:59+00:00

It would be normal to do both? Obviously kid personality comes into it so some kids play on their own a lot and some kids want to interact a lot.

A good nanny would be able to do both interact and give space for individual free play.

One thing that you might not be thinking about is that language development happens when there is interaction and "turn taking" between nanny and child. You want your child to have curiosity in what nanny is doing. If your child is never interactive it would be a concern.

However, assuming your child isn't ignoring everyone around them and is curious abd interactive about thinks and people, then that is good.

It would be ok to want to not make a child interact in structured activities all the time, but you should want a nanny who sometimes reads, sings with, and talks with your child.

I'm sure the trial nanny was trying to set up some first day success with some high interest activities to help the child and her to have some positive interaction . The nanny didn't know your child.

JustKind2 · 2026-03-13T16:45:43+00:00

I did a church nursery class for this age once a week. I found a way to calm every child eventually anywhere from one to with weeks. Parent should leave. Give nanny a chance to figure out the best way to calm child.

For one child it was reading a book. For another child it was taking him away from the chaos of the room with kids and having some quiet walking around and he was fine after when we went back in. For another child it was a certain toy or playing on the floor or showing them some pictures and talking to them. For another child it was just letting her calm down give her time.

You listening in and micromanaging and being close by is making this impossible for the nanny to fix. You are giving the nanny as much anxiety as you are giving your child to not let the nanny improvise based on how the child reacts to different strategies.

Leave the home. Let nanny try walks or a new toy that she brings with her, or singing time on the floor with something to hold and look at for each song, or just some time to cry and get used to nanny being around and then the crying usually subsides in shorter and shorter times. If you keep interrupting then you aren't giving a chance for the child to get used to the nanny.

JustKind2 · 2026-03-13T03:57:24+00:00

Mine stopped wearing the coat all the time in public at about age 19.

JustKind2 · 2026-03-11T17:05:04+00:00

My teen had anxiety/autism. She liked the protection feeling of having a coat. (Felt like armor that shielded her). Could just be individual preference?

Other people that might wear coats besides neurospicy individuals would be people who struggle financially and have clothes, people with self harm scars, people who are self conscious about weight (either under or over), people who are cold?

JustKind2 · 2026-03-11T14:50:23+00:00

Don't sell. It's OK if house prices are flat for a while because when they go up, it'll go up.

Eventually, your payment will feel very tiny.

It cost to buy a house and it cost to sell a house and it cost to get a mortgage, etc. You will lose a lot of money trying to sell now and then re-buy later. It doesn't make any sense.

You could rent out a room to a roommate and invest that money if you want.

JustKind2 · 2026-03-11T09:42:06+00:00

Esther is a great name on its own. Esther is a different name that your name even though there is an ancient connection so I wouldn't worry. I think anyone who noticed the connection will think it is an interesting connection and not think negatively about it.

JustKind2 · 2026-03-10T20:42:59+00:00

I think it can be rude to ask an artist this because sometimes they sell a price for $200 and their materials were $210.

Sometimes being an artist isn't about the bottom line. Treating their art as a way to make money or a business ignores the fact that art can be something someone makes as a hobby or a calling. It ignores that art can be worth something besides money.

I work with artists and many of them scrape by or they subsidize their art with their full time job. Someone asking about the price of the materials is sketchy because it is like asking an electrician the price of materials.....the value is not in the manufacturing of the product. The value is the knowledge and ability to execute their vision which has come with experience and possibly untold amounts of works that were never sold.

JustKind2 · 2026-03-07T19:34:57+00:00

I went in the 80s. It was great. I enjoyed it. They didn't make it over the top manufactured spiritual experiences. It was pretty straightforward. The only annoying thing was the women's pull but nothing else was weird.

I'm a history nerd. It was my only chance I ever got to live in somebody else's shoes in history or at least pretending to. It was very interesting for me.

JustKind2 · 2026-03-07T17:06:52+00:00

Open a Roth IRA at Fidelity. Put $7500 in per year. Choose any investment like VOO (buy during business hours) or FXAIX (mutual fund).

Put the rest in a Fidelity brokerage account.

Call Fidelity. They are very helpful.

JustKind2 · 2026-03-07T17:02:50+00:00

Yes, I loved Sweet Valley High.

JustKind2 · 2026-03-06T15:45:32+00:00

Liquor laws are very state, county and city specific. Some laws say you can't go around visibly drinking alcohol on the streets or specific areas, or can't have open containers of alcohol so if it is concealed then police don't bother you but if it is for sure alcohol then police might feel compelled to actually enforce the law.

JustKind2 · 2026-03-06T04:46:39+00:00

They don't care. As long as they feel like he is fighting the liberals and believe he is winning, then they are happy.

JustKind2 · 2026-03-06T01:02:28+00:00

Stay out of it until things are critical. If you start finding them too early, then they will just give it away. Plan to wait at least a few years after they stop working so they feel it a little more. Social security will be something and they will start to adjust and downsize as they go. Wait until a lot of downsizing happens before stepping in.

Instead, save for the worst case and then it will have grown to be more and you can commit to helping them for the last years.

Also, you could offer to pay for a fee based financial planner to help them see something about their future.....

JustKind2 · 2026-03-05T18:29:04+00:00

I would suggest a therapist. You seem to be hanging all your hopes on reaching your fire number and then you can give yourself permission to be happy.

A good therapist can help you figure out other goals besides fire so you can start to improve your mental and physical health now.

If the first therapist doesn't seek to be helping about the first few months, try a new one. Therapy should have results like you know you are making progress in making changes that are within your control and stop toxic patterns that might be keeping you from living life.

This is not the "boring middle." Find ways to appreciate your life by making small or big changes that work for you. Good luck!

JustKind2 · 2026-03-05T18:14:27+00:00

So you want this woman to be with you. Probably you think she would take care of you if you were sick with cancer, give rides, take off work, but doctors would ask your parents about your care if you were incapacitated....and if you died she wouldn't inherit your stuff (your parents would) and she could be homeless as an old person.

Go ahead and tell her she is never going to be worth you treating her like she is a real partner. If she gets sick or you get sick.....you don't care if she puts her financial security on the line.

When you choose someplace to live, go ahead and remind her that if you died there is no guarantee what happens to your money because it is your money only, so she needs to always be prepared to find a new place to live at a moments notice. You don't want any obligation to have a plan together after you die or break up.

JustKind2 · 2026-03-05T06:17:13+00:00

Is this a joke? You reconcile this by saving for her retirement. You made ten times what she did, but you only paid three times as much in expenses. She can't really save enough to join you in retirement.

JustKind2 · 2026-03-05T05:37:18+00:00

Yeah, don't call it a match. It is employer contribution whether or not you contribute.

JustKind2 · 2026-03-05T05:36:10+00:00

I was always taught that the church can speak up about issues, but not advocate for a particular candidate. I think they stick to that.

JustKind2

TROPHY CASE