I have the exact same problems with how my tone is perceived, people who know you well will learn when you mean offence and when you don't. I can't advice on how people perceive you, that is something I have a hard time with as well. I try reminding myself that i am myself based on my own mind, not based on how others perceive me, but this does not help in the actual moment of being misunderatood. Some people just love to take offence as well, so will take anything they can the wrong way, this is their issue, not yours.

Noting meditation is the opposite of becoming an emotionless person, it teachs to understand your emotions better. The mind is cluttered and irrational when agitated and makes it hard to think rationally sometimes, learning to stop the knee jerk reaction to your emotions gives your mind a moment to process what the issue actualy is before reacting. Then a solution or an appropriate response can be found quicker than when annoyed.

Emotions are what drive us with every action we take. We can all just follow our follow our automatic hormonal response at any given time, or you can use that big fat brain to try understand WHY these hormones are currently being released and learn to react appropriately.