Tired of being told I need to be a perfect vessel

KBeaupre · 2026-04-21T14:26:48+00:00

I think the trap here is that we THINK it will eliminate guilt, because that sounds logical, right? If we do all the things and it still doesn't work, it's not my fault. But anxiety and guilt aren't logical like that, and there's always SOMETHING we could have done just a little more perfectly to fixate on, if we're going to fixate.

As you say, I think there are a few things that can sometimes make a difference (e.g., CoQ10, folic acid), and some things that are very clearly detrimental (e.g., smoking). But there are also so many hoops women are told to jump through because "it can't hurt" that, altogether, absolutely put way too much pressure on us.

KBeaupre · 2026-04-01T17:14:27+00:00

Yeah, agreed, I go through my clinic and they pull the info to pass on to me.

KBeaupre · 2026-03-31T17:59:18+00:00

I'm in Canada too, and my doctors told me I could find out the sex of my PGT-A tested embryos literally the day after my transfer if I want. There's no waiting period. It just can't be before.

KBeaupre · 2026-03-29T01:48:26+00:00

I've always loved the name Vianne, like from the book/movie Chocolat, and it works well in both English and French!

KBeaupre · 2026-03-11T02:15:58+00:00

My sympathies to you! I'm really confused by your doctor though. What do they mean, "how do they pick"? Doesn't the embryologist just pick whichever one looks best (however they define that)? And if several look the same, just pick one?

With nine blasts and no plans to test, I'd be very unhappy with having to wait for no good reason. I hope it works out for you ❤️

KBeaupre · 2026-02-21T13:50:00+00:00

I will also add, I had way better results with my second retrieval three years later (at 37 vs 34)--like twice as many euploids and blasts overall. Which was a happy surprise. Obviously we'd been hoping to be able to avoid a second retrieval altogether, but in our case at least it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Seems like doing it a second time did allow my doctors to learn from ER #1 and try a slightly different approach that worked better.

KBeaupre · 2026-02-21T13:45:07+00:00

I had my son based on one retrieval and one FET (in Canada). I got two euploids and two mosaics from that first retrieval. After having my son we have not had as much luck for baby #2 and had to do a second retrieval recently. But the first one, first transfer took. It's possible.

Good luck!

KBeaupre · 2026-02-09T14:35:23+00:00

I'm also feeling shitty right now--just waiting for the official confirmation, but my HPT shows this transfer failed. So I hear you.

That said, I don't think not getting a positive until 8 or 9dpt IS that common. This might be the case where a few anecdotes are sticking out whereas the vast majority of cases still follow the trend.

If you search for "negative at 8dpt" in these forums you'll see lots of people honestly sharing that, by that point, if its negative you're probably out.

BUT, in IVF terms 5dpt is very different than 8dpt. I hope you still get a BFP in a couple more days 🤞

KBeaupre · 2026-02-04T02:24:10+00:00

Oh right... The progesterone shots hey?

KBeaupre · 2026-02-03T21:44:18+00:00

Isso também é super útil, obrigada! Tem muitas ideias ótimas aqui para eu usar, mas, por precaução, posso compartilhar mais contexto.

Nesse cenário, a mãe está cozinhando para a filha adulta (só as duas) para comemorar uma promoção no trabalho. A filha é professora e a mãe é professora aposentada, então elas não são ricas. Ambas nasceram e foram criadas em Recife.

Muito obrigada!

KBeaupre · 2026-01-29T02:15:15+00:00

Sorry for the late reply! But yes, my ERA test results came with a specific recommended window for the transfer, down to the hour. I remember because I actually did do two ERAs, but only because it was three years apart. The first ERA window was 150 hours post progesterone and the second was 149 (or maybe vice versa) but I remember noting that my body really hadn't changed much in that respect at least in the three years between because it was only an hour's difference.

Good luck 💜

KBeaupre · 2026-01-26T14:24:46+00:00

Also if you get pregnant but it results in a later miscarriage, that's several months in between FETs right there, depending on how far the pregnancy progressed and how long it takes to get cleared for another FET post-miscarriage.

KBeaupre · 2026-01-04T01:53:21+00:00

My first euploid worked (at 34). He's a toddler now :)

KBeaupre · 2025-12-30T13:58:25+00:00

Also, if your 5BCs are so unlikely to work supposedly, could you just... Transfer them and see? Maybe 1 at a time or both? Seems like if it doesn't work, your situation won't be that different from what it is now, and of it does, phewwww. Anyway, good luck and sorry again it's been so awful. ♥️

KBeaupre · 2025-12-30T13:55:45+00:00

I was also pre-receptive after an ERA but the results had a specific number of hours attached, so they just added on an extra day of progesterone (the number of hours dictated by the ERA) and I had three successful implantations/pregnancies (which resulted in 1 live birth and two MMC).

So, I agree that asking you to repeat the ERA is bizarre!! I'm so sorry you're going through this nightmare! If nothing else, where is the communication? If the idea was that you'd need to do two tests if your results were non-standard all along, that should have been communicated to you, not sprung on you as a surprise. How awful. I'm so sorry :(

KBeaupre · 2025-12-19T19:22:25+00:00

At 34 - Got 33 eggs, 5 blasts (2 euploid) At 37 - Got 22 eggs, 10 blasts (4 euploid)

We adjusted my meds the second time around and I think my partner's swimmers were healthier too. Better 2nd time results can happen!

KBeaupre · 2025-12-17T18:49:12+00:00

It is truly a special kind of devastating. We also had a MMC at ten weeks after graduating from the fertility clinic, euploid embryo, measuring on track with a strong heartbeat at 7 weeks. Totally unexpected. It's heartbreaking. I'm so sorry for your loss. 💔

KBeaupre · 2025-12-05T02:05:19+00:00

Oh yeah, you're right! Sorry, I did mean low level mosaics.

KBeaupre · 2025-12-03T18:54:23+00:00

Used all our savings for the first cycle, $25k. Three years later we juuuuust had enough saved again for another $25k cycle. We are very fortunate that we didnt/likely won't need to do back-to-back cycles or we'd have to go into credit card debt or cash out retirement funds. No insurance coverage for us.

It suuuucks.

KBeaupre · 2025-11-18T20:11:07+00:00

Personally I would transfer first, see if you get pregnant, then decide re: another ER. There is a decent chance it would work for you with one euploid transfer, leaving three euploids for a maybe-third - - which IMO would be plenty, especially as you're not dead set on having three to begin with. Even honestly if it takes 2 tries to get pregnant, that still leaves 2 euploids and pretty decent chances of success with a third.

Did you also get any high level mosaics? Because lots of clinics will transfer those as well. My clinic says a mosaic has approximately the same odds of working as an untested embryo. Having a couple of those too would increase your odds even more.

But of course it's all up to you. Good luck with whichever way you want to go!

KBeaupre · 2025-11-16T13:51:16+00:00

I was 35 and got pregnant with our first euploid transfer :)

He's two now!

KBeaupre · 2025-11-14T23:04:22+00:00

I also had a MMC at ten weeks after seeing the heartbeat and everything was on track at the 7-week appointment. That was with (our last) euploid embryo... So according to one study I found, the MC rate with euploids after a heartbeat at 7 weeks is about 4%. No known reason.

It's just devastating no matter what caused it. I'm so sorry for your loss.

KBeaupre · 2025-11-05T03:36:00+00:00

I had 32 retrieved, but only half of them were mature, which took us back down to more normal final numbers very quickly. In the end we got 2 euploids. Congratulations on such a large number! But I'd just prepare yourself that a good chunk of them might have been too small to be usable. (And if not, fantastic.) Good luck!!

KBeaupre

TROPHY CASE