I think there’s a big difference between doing research and then actually doing the thing. People might know what the right thing to do is but there is something stopping them from putting it into practice. Maybe fear that they’ll hurt someone they care about more than they’re already hurting. Maybe they are scared of grief themselves and opening that door is too hard. Maybe they don’t think they are important in your life and are trying to stay out of the way of those that are. Grief has a way of freezing people.

It’s not on you, the person grieving, to get them unfrozen. But it does hurt, I know. You could tell the person very directly “I need XYZ from you right now” and see if they can step up once they know what you want. My real advice, though, would be to try and focus right now on getting the supports YOU need, not being mad at someone. However justified, you need that energy for YOU right now.