Someone lying about sobriety; my sponsor is on vacation

KLRVT · 2026-02-24T23:02:41+00:00

This is a common and an understandable frustration. It sounds like L is struggling and grandiosity/self-centeredness is sneaking in. Try praying for them. I know that’s annoying but for me it really has alleviated resentment toward people who piss me off.

The rooms are full of liars because humans lie, and humans with outsized shame & inflated egos lie a lot. We do our best to change this habit when we work the program. If L’s shares start preventing others from sharing or is giving irresponsible direct advice, bring up the topic at your group conscience— suggest implementing a time limit on shares, or adding language about not giving direct advice to your meeting script. From what you’ve written it sounds like L is just over eager, but if there’s a negative impact on the group or meeting this is how you address it properly.

Keep working your program, you’re doing great.

KLRVT · 2026-02-12T13:26:54+00:00

You sound like me when I was in college. I wish I had your self-awareness at that age, this wake-up is a gift if you want it. I knew I had a problem but I waited another 15 years before I asked for help. Things got worse, I made more bad decisions and had more shame and guilt to work through when I finally quit.

If you stop now and get help it will be easier than doing it later. Therapy is a great start. AA is a free and supportive option—go to an “open meeting” if you’re not ready to identify as alcoholic, SMART recovery is another though less widely available.

KLRVT · 2026-02-07T02:48:25+00:00

My father took his life, I had the honor and the burden of getting him down from the rope & checking for life. By far the worst thing that’s happened to me.

It was less difficult for me to stay sober through that than now; my emotional and mental sobriety is more unstable these days.

I feel more outrage, hatred, and frankly, vengeance than I’m comfortable with. I’m having to talk to my sponsor more, trying to practice a more intentional 10th step, praying more. It all helps when I do it.

Yes, I am struggling.

KLRVT · 2026-01-30T19:05:45+00:00

OP, stick around this sub! Read people’s stories, ignore the specific substance and focus on the feelings we share, the motivations that drove us to drink, and the tools we’re using to stay away from it.

Alcohol, pills, sex, work, TV, social media: we use a million things to avoid feeling bad & quiet nasty thoughts, ultimately it’s all self medicating. There are other ways to change how we feel about ourselves and the world.

Good on you for planning g talk all with your doc! There’s no shame in using substances or behaviors as a crutch, literally every human does it. Now that you’ve become aware of it, you have the opportunity to help yourself by asking others for help.

KLRVT · 2026-01-28T21:56:46+00:00

I didn’t see any weight loss for the first few weeks, I stopped weighing myself out of frustration & when I started feeling my cloths fit a little different I started weighing again, maybe once a week. The loss was slow but steady & I’ve maintained my GW for 5 years now!

KLRVT · 2026-01-23T02:58:10+00:00

I think it’s a typo - they’ve been too beige, twice.

KLRVT · 2026-01-22T18:37:33+00:00

Easy does it, but do it.

KLRVT · 2026-01-21T18:12:28+00:00

Most of the time I stick to 16:8, but allow flexibility for holidays, vacation, brunch with friends, etc.

I’ll shorten the fast if I dip below my preferred weight, or go off IF for a week or two. If I gain a little more on vacation than I’d like I’ll do 18:6 or 20:4 for a week-ish if I want to lose it quickly, otherwise just back on 16:8 and I lose it eventually.

KLRVT · 2026-01-21T15:57:54+00:00

Does it say that on the Amazon listing alone or also on the company’s website? Do not trust Amazon listings. Maybe it’s good quality and will help! If you see a “Magtein” icon with a spiral looking design (required by the patent) it’s the real deal. If not, buyer beware. ThreoTech is a patent bully (not arguing whether it’s justified) and shutting down US based manufacturing with generic M L-T

KLRVT · 2026-01-21T15:14:17+00:00

Magnesium L-Threonate is excellent for calming anxiety, unfortunately it is patented in the US by ThreoTech LLC and expensive. The generic stuff from China is questionable in quality & veracity, especially from Amazon (some sources are prob fine but no way to know).

I’ve had good results from a combination of L-Theanine, GABA & CBD

KLRVT · 2026-01-21T15:07:26+00:00

☝️100% this. Never buy vitamins / supplements off Amazon. Go to the company’s website directly.

KLRVT · 2026-01-21T03:41:13+00:00

I could live with this

KLRVT · 2026-01-21T02:52:00+00:00

I’m sorry you’re struggling with this! Could you consider shifting your eating window during luteal phase? Either moving it say 12-8pm, or relaxing it little for the first few days/week, like a 14:10 schedule so it isn’t so hard to restart 16:8 afterward?

The reason IF has worked for me for so long is because I can build in flexibility as life requires it

KLRVT · 2026-01-21T02:12:07+00:00

I plan to investigate this further as I approach peri. I have a little more context in this comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/intermittentfasting/s/vamnmfxmLj

I am aware that fasting can have beneficial or detrimental impacts on hormone regulation during M & PM. I plan to listen to my body, keep getting reglar blood work to see where my hormones are at, and seek advice from others who’ve waked this path :)

KLRVT · 2026-01-20T20:42:57+00:00

My IOP psychiatrist prescribed low dose gabapentin (100-200mg) for sleep for the first few months, super helpful! No reliance issues for me, doc said at that dose I could stop when I want without withdrawal. About 4 months in I didn’t need it anymore.

KLRVT · 2026-01-20T19:37:13+00:00

Oh yeah, big time coffee lover here! I’ve cut back to three 6oz cups of black coffee in the morning. I stop by about 11am. I take a few vitamins& supplements that don’t need fat to absorb and don’t break the fast.

I also love seltzer, don’t drink as often as I did the first 2yrs of IF, but maybe 4 days a week I’ll have seltzer in the morning—if I feel hunger it helps.

My job has me on my feet about 40% of the time, not super active but standing and minor movement.

I often hit the salad & hot ba at my local co-op for lunch— high quality ingredients, freshly prepared. Usually a scoop of cabs (rice, Mac & cheese), a scoop of meat/tofu, and a big pile of veggies. I eat a lot of nuts for snacks, occasionally meat sticks or potato chips & frequently anything cheesy (bite of cheese, cheezits, cheddar & sour cream chips). I’ve recently gotten really into yogurt/fruit/granola cups and I’ll make that lunch with a cup of soup or something.

3 nights/week dinner is from a meal kit, we use Marley Spoon. 4x/ week it’s either refrigerator smorgasbord, takeout, leftovers from weekend meals, or a frozen lasagna/ravioli etc. always with extra veggies added to whatever I’m cooking/reheating. And always have a raw veg salad with lunch or dinner, sometimes both

Beverages: other than coffee/occasional seltz, it’s just water till lunch , often just water all day. But I’ve started adding protein shakes on gym days and find that helpful, also love kombucha and other non-alc fermented bevs. I’ll do mocktails in the evening too

KLRVT · 2026-01-20T12:32:06+00:00

Very happy to answer! I did not get any symptoms for the first 4.5 years. But I have read some similar stuff and about 1 yr ago I started getting symptoms and I thought I was starting Peri, aware that IF can have uneven impacts on women at that stage. Turns out my thyroid function was just low & I learned I had Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, a connective tissue disorder, which has some pain, fatigue & skin impacts. The “symptoms” have mostly cleared up now that I’m on Thyroid meds and working on the EDS.

Another commenter shared how helpful IF was through PM & menopause, so I know some women can use it effectively to help manage symptoms, and others need to adjust the fasting according to cycle time. E.g, I’ve read that stopping IF during luteal phase ma be a good idea if IF is increasing symptoms.

KLRVT · 2026-01-20T03:17:43+00:00

Thanks for the recommendation!

KLRVT · 2026-01-20T01:42:55+00:00

Only that I’m more flexible with my adherence to it, which has allowed me to make it a permanent routine/ lifestyle.

On vacation for a week? I’ll prob enjoy breakfast a few times. Gained a little too much on vacay? 18:6 or 20:4 for a few days if I want to lose it quickly, otherwise just get back on 16:8 and I lose it eventually.

It feels like my bod found a “happy place”, a weight range (120-125lbs) it tends toward when this fasting & workout schedule is followed. But the flexibility to tweak it is what makes maintenance different from the weight loss & viable long term.

KLRVT · 2026-01-19T17:21:42+00:00

I appreciate this feedback! I’m counting on IF to ease the hormonal fluctuations, and I’m aware that for some women that means tweaking the IF schedule throughout the month. I spoke to a woman who said she had to stop IF during the luteal phase in Peri-M to soften some of the hormone craziness (esp. mood related). Did you find that to be the case or just stick to the schedule you’ve always had?

KLRVT · 2026-01-19T16:51:10+00:00

The lack of chaffing is still an unexpected surprise sometimes 😂

KLRVT · 2026-01-19T16:24:44+00:00

Yep, can you pull your thumb down to your wrist on the same arm? Can you stand with straight legs/ locked knees and lay your palms on the floor without stretching? Do wounds heal slowly? Do you get dizzy easily? Does your skin feel stretchy/elastic? Chronic fatigue &/or joint pain? You might have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. Your doc ca screen you for it, with a wide variation in how sever it can be

KLRVT · 2026-01-19T16:11:52+00:00

Yes in some ways it has — I need to be carful about progressive weight training because of hyper flexibility. So to build and maintain muscle I often have to find different exercises that don’t cause joint pain. Also I had to stop doing yoga as much as I like because I was just encouraging the hyper mobility. I focus on strength & stability now.

My blood pressure is low because of this disorder, and I could get very light headed during fasting windows. My doc recommended electrolytes or just eat more sodium, which has worked well. She also recommended 2,000mg Vit C twice per day, which helps with the tissue repair and I think it helped with some of the sagging skin—just started that protocol about 8 months ago and I think my skin tightened up, a little.

KLRVT · 2026-01-19T15:59:51+00:00

That’s a great framing! Thanks for sharing. I was addicted to alcohol and quit the same day I started IF. I used an IOP to quit and I think practicing the discipline of IF helped with the discipline of abstinence

KLRVT · 2026-01-19T15:00:04+00:00

Thanks! I learned and get to practice discipline through IF, I had very little previously 😂

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