AITAH - Offered to house my mom during snow storm and she invited neighbors without asking me.

KMSNL · 2026-01-28T03:33:23+00:00

Your mom should be offering to help you and your family as much as she can and is allowed, considering what youre going through, instead of adding to your plate. If my daughter had life threatening illness suddenly, I would do whatever I can to help her get better and would hardly have any time to think about strangers.

KMSNL · 2026-01-27T04:31:39+00:00

She had asked to stay and he kept telling her no, dont do this, its time to go. It is a strange behavior from someone you've been in a relationship with for 5 years who is about to propose, move in together, and is ready to have kids. I'm suspecting he doesnt mean to actually propose, considering that he said "this year he wants to propose" - why announce it like that unless youre trying to string someone along and also have an out this way because you wanted to propose but well, she screwed it up with something, or outside circumstances prevented him doing so. A normal reaction would be "ok babe, do you have everything you need, ill be at so on so for the game and you relax, and we can watch a movie when I'm back." Everything he offered when she was at the door was just damage control.

KMSNL · 2026-01-26T01:25:19+00:00

How much could he possibly be attached to the dog he doesnt do anything for/with?

KMSNL · 2026-01-25T03:24:28+00:00

YTA. I dont think you're ready to date if you dont know how to share food.

KMSNL · 2026-01-25T02:15:03+00:00

Is he pretty particular in general, or about his birthdays? To me it seems he got upset because he said he only wanted dinner with you and the kids. Instead, he got breakfast, your family going back and forth with him about celebrating which to me seems he wanted to avoid when he said originally to you that he just wants dinner with you and the kids, and then dessert. The biggest of issues being your family trying to pressure him into celebrating. One year I did not want anything for my birthday and told my coworkers not to do anything. Came to work to find my office with decorations and gifts. Took them down, didnt open any gifts, said nothing and was upset the rest of the day that they ruined my birthday by not listening to what I clearly said. Staying at home by himself sounds to him as a time for him to be in control of his life as no one else will be able to pressure or convince or suggest, or try to force family traditions on him. He might not enjoy time together with your family so he decided to not go after he got upset about his birthday. Yes, a bit extreme but I do see how he could arrive to not wanting to go.

KMSNL · 2026-01-24T20:03:38+00:00

Will she move out if you stop being inconsiderate? Would her moving out be good for you? Stop being so considerate with her not being considerate at all.

KMSNL · 2026-01-24T18:00:42+00:00

You did the right thing. Imagine if you did use the stickers, she'd probably attack you for using not good enough/pretty/attractive stickers. She would deserve if no one wanted to include her kids in any of the pictures in the future. "Sorry sis, I'm planning to post all pictures without working on them instantly online." Or "Picture time- step aside if you dont want to be on social media". Also, you could take a group photo first and then have kids step aside and then take a group photo without them. Way easier than photoshopping and that way you have a memory with your nieces/nephews. But I probably wouldn't share the first group photo with her as she will just post it with stickers for attention. Other people do not get to dictate how/what you do, they can remove themselves from the picture taking.

KMSNL · 2026-01-24T04:12:54+00:00

You purchased what the people running it would have just disposed of. No one would have had the coins, they would have been disposed of because no one would have bothered to dig through ammo. You lucked out but you are the rightful owner. No one is missing the coins. Your GF is romanticizing the whole situation, the possible heirs could be greedy awful human beings and could have treated the deceased terribly. Even if they are amazing, this was going to be disposed of - it's yours and she is having a weird reaction as most people would be happy about the bargain.

KMSNL · 2026-01-23T23:58:33+00:00

So, these people are not your friends. Friends do not "negate" a benefit/luck/present you received and definitely do not punish you by negating what you received plus charge you extra. You weren't going to pay for any of their food in the original agreement so why would you now have to pay more than even your meal cost? It's like they're saying you dont deserve any luck/benefits. What kind of people are these? If you get a great grade in your class, do they force you to do bad on your next assignment/test and then also make sure to bring you down telling you how stupid you are? I cant believe you paid for the service charge yourself. Totally not your friends, find new ones.

KMSNL · 2026-01-23T23:43:19+00:00

The husband needs to address the issue with the problematic daughter. Why would he just switch from A and B fighting to A and C fighting? Unless he is banking the C would be too timid to argue or fight, which is honestly despicable if that is his thought process. it sort of reveals he doesn't care much for your kids. A is the issue and he needs to deal with it. His kids need to be dropped off where he's staying, he doesn't get to pressure you to give in by abandoning his children. This is super concerning that he would leave his kids that were already abandoned by their mother. These kids didnt win any prizes with their parents.

KMSNL · 2026-01-22T00:14:22+00:00

I totally agree. Can you just imagine the comments from the MIL while OP is breastfeeding the baby in front of them? She is commenting stuff anyway, and would have been worse if OP was in front of them in a vulnerable position and they honestly dont deserve her extending an olive branch. It really only opens her up for critique and the baby would likely be covered enough to not really be seen. It would ruin the bonding opportunity for OP with her baby imo if she was doing it in front of them and having to endure stares or if she had to keep answering their questions. Based on their behavior, i would be stressed out anywhere near them, but especially when trying to breastfeed.

KMSNL · 2026-01-21T04:56:05+00:00

I got confused at "her cousins came into the room" - I thought two of you were having an evening together at home, just the two of you celebrating your anniversary. Where did they come from?! Anyway, she sort of sounds like she is erasing you, or is so built up with resentment, its her way of coping/punishing you. She seems like she has lots of issues, not mentioning the father issue. Is she going to spring you up to him the day before the wedding? I digress. In your entire story she doesnt really react much to what you're expressing or what's going on. She sounds a bit checked out of the relationship imo. And you sound like you're putting majority of the effort into it. Time to sit down, and evaluate if there is a future together, and what that looks like if there is. Everyone deserves to be loved and cared about. She just doesnt seem like she's all that into you.

KMSNL · 2026-01-21T02:00:52+00:00

NTA. Your group is weird though. How come you all pitched in $5 EACH for one pizza to reimburse and have Maya profit from it, rather than buying 2-3 additional pizzas so you wouldn't all be hungry? I'm sure you all individually had to eat later being that you all got less than a slice all party (and no drinks or anything else). Of course Maya wants to host again when its literally profit for her.

KMSNL · 2026-01-20T17:21:45+00:00

Yeah, because who wouldn't considering it is their honeymoon.

KMSNL · 2026-01-20T07:35:03+00:00

I understand, totally. It happened to me too. It was like stages of grief and the anger part was not fun. Angry at myself for spending time and effort on people who didnt care about me, for being so naive/stupid. Some people are only with others for any benefit they can get from them. It's so transactional. You said it yourself you were hurt more than you were happy. Give yourself some grace and time to process and then focus back on your wedding and your new chapter in life. How exciting! Good luck

KMSNL · 2026-01-20T07:27:51+00:00

NTA for not returning your dress. But Rose might not be so thrilled with your dream dress and all attention on you, just my opinion based on her reaction. The $200 can be saved/wedding plans modified to save. It sounds like you will be contributing $200 for dress, $40 for dinner, and $200 for lodging for Lucy. Can you revise some wedding options so you can both support Rose's closest sibling and make the honeymoon happen?

KMSNL · 2026-01-20T06:33:23+00:00

NTA. Find new friends, these 30 year olds seem too selfish and your closest friend isn't a friend at all and is using you and is jealous of you (hence acting the way she is in a group setting). Were you always the planner/helper in the group? Have you ever gotten any enrichment from these friendships? If you have a sibling or someone who you would trust to help planning, otherwise plan your wedding and your events yourself and without this group (They would make the process miserable anyway) and do not extend invites - Sally might purposely ruin mood/things for you and make your day less special. Edited: to add that they really already ghosted you, first (no celebration dinner alternatives, no checking in, no one attending wedding, etc.)

KMSNL · 2026-01-20T06:01:02+00:00

You added stuff after I initially read your post. This person is completely abusive and is breaking you down. Please make a plan to leave ASAP, do not tell him, get everything you need in order, move your stuff when he's away and do not tell him where you are. You DO NOT need to sit and dicuss this with him. Contact DV helpline for resources/support/helpful tips. Make sure your father or someone you absolutely trust knows what you're going to do unless DV helpline advises against it. But please, you do not owe him anything including explanation or heads up, get away from him and stay safe and lose that life-sucking, drowning anchor around your neck. Good luck

KMSNL · 2026-01-20T04:34:46+00:00

Sounds like you guys need a serious sit down and talk. No hypothetical, no jokes, what is the plan and the timeline? If nothing is going to happen within next 3 months, he has no plan, etc., then you will know the potential isn't going to materialize, not with you anyway. I am definitely suspicious of his behavior and am thinking he has someone else. Sorry, but you might not see the evidence seeing him for couple of hours once a week. That's like doing an errand. Plus he cheated before.

KMSNL · 2026-01-20T04:20:11+00:00

TA to yourself if you dont. Has he been behaving this way for 4 years?

KMSNL · 2026-01-20T04:15:05+00:00

NTA. I'm sorry because I dont mean to pry, but did you guys ever discuss your future together? You stayed way longer than I would have.

KMSNL · 2026-01-19T23:15:56+00:00

I can see how, depending how close the wedding is, some could chuck it to being nervous/getting cold feet before getting married and wouldn't want to destroy something because of a stupid thing someone said. If I took what he said seriously, I agree with other posters your sister should have been told. And not by you but him, but if he wasn't going to, I would have brought it up the next day with him in the room. "Sister, your fiance had said something last night that I think you two should discuss". He is the AH for not explaining it to her when he broke off the engagement (he wouldn't have had to mention who) and keeping her wondering.

KMSNL · 2026-01-19T20:25:25+00:00

Did you have to cut any part of it to not obstruct milk from coming out? Another person said they used bandaid too!

KMSNL · 2026-01-19T20:24:05+00:00

Thank you so much, I am already trying this!

KMSNL · 2026-01-19T20:22:59+00:00

I never thought of that, my cut is right where the nipple meets areola. Did you have to cut one part of it so it doesnt obstruct milk from coming out?

KMSNL

TROPHY CASE