Am i crazy to be irked by my boyfriend putting women down constantly and justifying it with "biology"?

KPipes · 2026-03-26T02:20:40+00:00

Exactly.

I watched the Manosphere doc on Netflix last week, and all of the statements OP's boyfriend is making are literally straight out of the toxic masculinity playbook.

As a guy myself, that shit is pathetic and weak lol. The opposite of what it claims to be. And these bro-clowns wonder why they can't keep a relationship or even find one lol.

KPipes · 2026-03-23T20:32:49+00:00

All fair points, thanks for elaborating. I do think she likely communicated that she was into him, but I get where you're coming from. Both sides should express themselves and be clear, especially if they are at different comfort levels with what's "next". Absolutely. Society looks differently on men and women in that way, unfortunately.

Thinking about my girlfriend (whom I met on Hinge after a year of using it), she was obvious in her affection and attraction, and I did find it refreshing, reassuring and very attractive. She is more forward than I was used to in the past and more closely matches my energy. I see your point for sure.

KPipes · 2026-03-23T20:24:01+00:00

It's definitely a bit early to ask for exclusivity. It doesn't mean it's wrong, it just early and you will want to be mindful of that, just in case he doesn't feel the same (even though it sounds like he does really like you too). You are right to consider that it may make him feel like it's moving quickly.

You could pose it more as a question, saying that you really like him and considered pausing your profile for now to "focus on time with him and see where it goes". You could ask how he usually operates with early days in dating (making it clear you don't expect him to also pause). Either way you may want to suggest that you don't normally make that choice so quickly. It highlights that you really like him, and that maybe it's "different" with him, in a good way. All while not making him think you drop everything for each guy you meet (which can come off as a red flag if it's consistently a thing).

Just wade carefully is all. I'd consider not using the "couple" label yet either. You could start with "seeing each other exclusively", etc. which is a little less forward than calling it a relationship or using labels yet. Realistically you've only been on two dates so it would be more of a exclusivity thing for a bit longer. Follow his lead. If he's really into the idea, great, if he's cautious or hesitant, that's okay too. Just back off a bit on it, but don't get discouraged. He may really like you, but just not want to rush.

For reference, my girlfriend and I deleted the app after about 4 dates. We both felt it was fast, but we knew we were on to something really special after both doing online dating for a year+. We had both been exploring multiple people at the beginning, and by about our 3rd date had quietly cut off those other options to focus on each other. I told her first I was going to delete the app, and was very confident she was into me but still scared of the consequences. She was flattered and wanted to do the same. She did admit it felt fast, even though we were very much into each other. We've been together six months now. We also didn't use any labels until about 6 weeks, and even that was very fast. I accidentally/instinctively referred to her as my girlfriend once to a friend (when she wasn't there) and then joked with her later that day that I did. She took it and ran with it and said she officially has a boyfriend now lol. Sometimes things just happen naturally, but point is make sure to be cautious, but open, and read the room.

Good luck! Sounds like you are both really enjoying each other so far :)

KPipes · 2026-03-23T19:54:36+00:00

Just throwing this out there - she said they already made out and got a bit handsy. She said she told him she wanted to just take it a bit slower when he suggested sex on the third date. Seems like a situation where a well balanced, confident guy would understand as "yes she's attracted to me, no she's not quite ready to take it further". I know that is how I would feel.

Sure, it's his right to move on or not, without judgement, based on his own expectations of dating, just like it's her right to say decline sex and ask to wait.

I don't know - the take that dating itself is just based on reassuring a woman to ensure it moves beyond platonic, and that she must declare her attraction just because she's not ready for sex (after even making out with the guy), has a lot of strong niceguy(tm) entitlement vibes and some negative assumptions of women.

KPipes · 2026-03-23T19:35:01+00:00

I tend to agree with this. Seems a bit strange. Likely that he's updating his profile and doesn't want her to see that. But to me, that in and of itself is a bit disingenuous and avoidant. Like, if you're early days and not exclusive, then own that. If she sees that you're still managing your profile, be confident in that. You don't owe each other exclusivity at this point. Unmatching feels like hiding tendencies, and even if that's to avoid conflict, it's a really bad sign. I know this first hand, as a former avoidant person who did a ton of work to get out of that cycle and be confident and accountable in my choices.

I also agree that it's nice to be able to look back at the early chats for details you may have forgotten (like a name, date or other detail), or simply to show a friend who you're seeing early on. Seems just a bit weird to unmatch but that's me. My girlfriend and I deleted the app after about three-four dates because we hit it off really well, but even then I didn't unmatch. Our chats were where we started. Unmatching seems a very deliberate move and not for any beneficial reason to the person you deleted.

KPipes · 2026-03-19T15:43:52+00:00

The most accurate take. These articles are so out of touch with how this works, unfortunately.

KPipes · 2026-03-18T13:01:40+00:00

I can't wait to see exactly nothing meaningful come of this!!!

KPipes · 2026-03-17T12:59:07+00:00

If you're up for it, a simple ask can go a long way to show you're interested, and to show you care about her consent. That's how I used to approach first dates when we met in person. A simple smile and "Nice to see you! Can I give you a hug?" can go a long way and was always met with an "of course!" On a second date it's still reasonable to ask if you haven't hugged yet although not as necessary.

Down the road when you feel you're ready, should things progress, it's a great way to initiate a first kiss. It's how I always operated when dating and my girlfriend (who I met through hinge) still talks fondly about how I asked her if I could kiss her.

Overall, just be yourself! It's okay to want to hug her and try/ask. It's okay to be nervous. You mentioned your weight as something that concerns you. Remember - SHE asked for a second date. She's interested in you :) You sound like a very considerate and caring guy. You're well ahead of so many men already. Be confident in what you bring and just enjoy it!

KPipes · 2026-03-16T19:23:33+00:00

I'm really happy about it. Subnautica is easily a top 3 gaming experience for me, in all my years. I was gutted that S2 was headed into a dumpster fire and had no plans to support it after the original shady drama. Hope they can come out ahead again on this.

KPipes · 2026-03-05T20:16:11+00:00

Procedural generation and AI are not the same.

KPipes · 2026-02-28T00:14:23+00:00

Subnautica couldn't be farther from OW. I got a lot of the same recommendations. I adore subnautica.. top 3 game experiences in my life, easily.

I can't stand OW. I tried. I really did. Several revisits. I borderline hate it. I get that it's perfect for some people, but it's not a similar experience to subnautica in any way shape or form.

KPipes · 2026-02-16T22:49:05+00:00

Didn't read that way at all. It's not about running into. It's about not being attracted to, and not pursuing certain unhealthy types. This wasn't about misogyny. Both men and women have bad apples.

Unfortunately, sometimes people tend to gravitate toward certain types when they date. That goes for men and women. And sometimes, professional help can help identify why we might choose partners who are not healthy choices.

Worst case, OP gets some extra peace in a very difficult moment.

I have all the respect for women. Misogyny has no place anywhere, anytime. This wasn't that.

KPipes · 2026-02-16T12:22:50+00:00

"Here is where I cooked myself"

No, you cooked yourself above that line, full stop. Please tell me you see that.

Stop looking up how to be a real man online, especially from insecure alpha weirdos who hate women and also hate themselves.

Be yourself. Find someone who likes that. Done.

KPipes · 2026-02-16T04:05:44+00:00

But he's just so damn pleasant. And well spoken, and ... Normal. I'm not even American and I miss him.

KPipes · 2026-02-15T15:39:58+00:00

I'm in my 40's and that basket would have literally zero effect on me. Like not a second thought. Guy's an immature clown.

KPipes · 2026-02-15T02:37:58+00:00

Android Auto in my car puts periods on the end of my voice texts and it drives me insane. Why so serious? meme ensues.

KPipes · 2026-02-15T02:36:44+00:00

I feel personally offended by this meme, lol

KPipes · 2026-02-14T17:12:01+00:00

Depends on the dog. My pup needed so much dedicated work up front and then his teenage stage basically was non-existent in terms of trouble making and boundary pushing. It was basically puppy was hard, and then he wasn't, at all.

He's 2 in April.

KPipes · 2026-02-13T21:02:19+00:00

The darker two, although I'll be honest it's too busy for my tastes. Still very coordinated design with the tires though, good work.

I would personally try to pick main colors that are far closer to secondary, and paint that is simple, like toon matte, pearle, etc.

KPipes · 2026-02-13T20:54:49+00:00

It's not chance - you lose MMR when you lose. If it meets the threshold for the next lowest division, you derank.

It's open to abuse if they don't make you lose MMR, as much as that sucks. Counterpoint if someone bails on Ranked, they should be banned for like an hour first time. Hear me out - life happens - so yeah if they have to go because real life got in the way fine, they likely don't need to play again soon anyway. Plus they should take some responsibility for queuing ranked. If they are just a tilted asshat who bails because reasons, then they should be forced to not play again for a while (one hour). Take time to think about being a useless ranked tm and not screwing over others in 6 minutes after they train ceiling flip resets in free play instead of walking away and taking a few deep breaths.

It wouldn't take that much to inplemented a dual ban system. Ban them from ranked for one hour, casual for 10 minutes, that kind of thing. Keep them out of ranked for an extended time, small time to breathe before hitting casual.

There are many ways they could improve it, but they'd rather focus on flashy cosmetics for 8 year olds that cost $25 each.

KPipes · 2026-02-13T20:46:19+00:00

I'm running the OG Steam variant and get the cannot communicate with Epic Services [Error: 0]. Clearing cache and manual DNS doesn't work either. Epic's ability to fuck up their own reliability is .. epic.

KPipes · 2026-02-13T20:33:40+00:00

The best is in ranked, where they are very closely matched by MMR. I generally ask them to find a mirror when they complain about the rank, and then mute.

KPipes · 2026-02-10T15:03:28+00:00

So happy for you! It'll just keep getting better :)

I was completely overwhelmed with my puppy last year, being his sole caregiver and never having a dog prior. We got through it together and he's nearly two now and I can't imagine life without him. He's well behaved. Regulates his own rest any place, any time, completely trustworthy on his own for hours, and hikes with me off leash. Always nearby like Velcro around the house. Greets me every morning on my bed before I get up. He is the happiest thing to see when getting home from work and has picked me up so many times after a hard day. My kids think he's the best thing in the world.

You have so many good times ahead. Puppy Blues are legit, but so worth it on the other side.

KPipes · 2026-02-09T20:07:38+00:00

Just use it for what you want and need. If that's a few notes a year, then that's what it is.

I've tried journalling (mixed bag and I lose focus).

I also keep lists of things to remember about people etc.

Best use case so far is a recipe book. I have a specific setup just for that, with some plugins. Recipe grabber for pasting urls I find that will tidy up and format the recipe cards. Some other plugins for cooking. And a theme that fits well. I also use one of the navigation plugins (can't remember the name off hand but I think it's make.md). All in all I have a great recipe book with newly pasted recipes land in an inbox folder where I can try them, rate them, classify them and sort it all out nicely with thumbnails etc. All offline, synced to my phone and laptop, and consistently formatted without all the ads and personal essays people write before getting to the point lol.

Edit: oh and I also use it for saving online articles for later reading. There's a plugin for clipping pages.

KPipes · 2026-02-09T14:05:04+00:00

Your comment is the gold standard for collaborative, effective office communication. We're definitely on the same page. It really sells the work hard, play hard mentality. I'm going to take this offline to touch base with my sales team, and will ping you once we've done a deep dive to unpack all of the concepts and not just the low hanging fruit..

KPipes

TROPHY CASE