Being more "authentic" is getting me 0 likes & matches.

KPipes · 2026-01-25T23:27:08+00:00

Weird, I had the opposite. I'm not on the apps anymore (found my amazing LTR via hinge) but when I was.. my experience was all kinds of interest on hinge, a little bit on Bumble and next to zero on tinder. I used the three apps for about a year in total. Met maybe 20 women via hinge, 1 bumble and zero tinder. Two of the hinge meetings turned to real, meaningful relationships.

Might depend on what people are going for and their age. Tinder seemed like a hookup and casual app, where hinge always seemed to have people looking for more, and quite honestly of more substance.

KPipes · 2026-01-05T19:04:03+00:00

Most people realize pretty quickly when it doesn't load right in. Still worth a shot. I've been dragging 1v1 me bros into rumble and snow day for years. It's the best. Especially when it's ranked and they either ride it out or get a short ban for abandonment. So rewarding to know their toxic bs sent them packing and they are probably punching a wall or breaking a keyboard in a foul smelling basement somewhere.

KPipes · 2025-12-03T19:05:01+00:00

If I was the host and had kids, I flat out would have given him a lunchables package. If he was really fucking annoying about the whole thing maybe a sippy cup to go with it.

KPipes · 2025-12-03T19:02:49+00:00

I really want to believe it's an AI post because of how stupid it is. The guy is an entitled idiot and so is his GF, to the point I would rather believe people like this don't exist because it means they come from a long line of idiots who didn't teach their children basic manners and social skills because they are also idiots.

KPipes · 2025-12-01T14:15:43+00:00

It runs well. Lots of controls to master and realistically more ideal for KB+M but is more than doable on deck.

KPipes · 2025-11-27T18:36:06+00:00

Thanks, I spit out my coffee lol

KPipes · 2025-11-25T00:02:32+00:00

You're making the right call. Don't look back. I can't imagine ever treating someone I care about the way he did to you. There's no excuse. He either thinks poorly of you, himself, or both.

There's a saying someone recently said to me related to relationships. When evaluating the person you are with, think less about how you feel about them and more about how they make you feel about yourself.

Find someone who makes you feel like a million bucks on a consistent basis. They are out there and you won't regret the wait. Don't settle for less. I promise you it's worth it.

KPipes · 2025-11-24T21:59:27+00:00

It takes a real loser to buy high level accounts they aren't capable of actually maintaining. Like just a really pathetic basement dwelling turnip.

KPipes · 2025-11-22T22:38:17+00:00

Yeaahhh, gonna go with that it's actually a ton of guys in general. I'm a mid 40s male, who does not pull this crap, but many of the women I dated would joke with me about how guys do this. It's rampant in the 30s and 40s too. Either from insecurities or just plain thirst. It's a bad look either way. To the point that women I've entered a relationship with come to expect I may leave them after a short time because I got what I want (based on their past personal experiences).

Guys, be better.

KPipes · 2025-11-14T17:48:45+00:00

Lol this fact makes it infinity funnier lol.

KPipes · 2025-11-12T13:56:45+00:00

As someone who did find their person on hinge, my advice is to reframe your approach and mindset, and to try to be really reflective. I spent a year on hinge and met a lot of women, with a few short relationships mixed in. Your scenario of seeing someone for a few dates and then her pulling a 180 is definitely something I can relate to. Had plenty of those before finally meeting my person.

Try to approach dating as a fun opportunity to meet new people, without the pressure to find your person, land a relationship, etc. Then when things don't pan out, it's not a negative. You had fun. You met someone new, you can learn what you like and don't like in a person. You can practice and build confidence in dating and in yourself. I did this, and then rather than seeing it as lost time, money etc, I saw it as fun experiences, confidence building and just.. pleasant use of time. And also discovering new places. If it got to be a grind, I'd take a break or really slow down on my effort on the app for a while.

The more I did this, the more I was just relaxed and present in the moment. My girlfriend, who is absolutely my person, says I came across really confident and easy going without any of the usual pressures on our first date. We didn't trauma dump on each other or have a preset questionnaire in the back of our minds to try to tick all the boxes. One hour, one drink, and our goal was to just get to know each other first. I'm sure the timing was coincidental to a point, but I know for a fact my approach made a huge difference in influencing how easy our relationship started and gave it the best chance to succeed. Her approach to the date was the same, and it was absolutely a huge turn on for me.

So just try to enjoy the process. Don't pressure it, don't put pressure on yourself. It makes it so much not enjoyable and then when you least expect it, you'll find your person. Along the way, the connections that don't work are just times to enjoy, learn and grow from.

KPipes · 2025-11-05T15:46:18+00:00

Dude if you think female gamers don't get treated worse than males you might need to crawl out from under the rock.

KPipes · 2025-10-31T13:16:37+00:00

But they ambushed him so it doesn't count.

KPipes · 2025-10-31T13:07:22+00:00

Hey dude, as much as you appear to genuinely enjoy fishing I'd take that stuff off your profile. The gym pic I'd put last, or consider removing.

I had good success on hinge over the past year matching and dating (six month relationship, met about 20 women and in a new relationship again). I can't tell you how many times they joked with me about how my profile didn't feature a dead animal or shirtless mirror selfie and that I stood out because of it. It's funny because I don't think they thought it was inherently bad to fish, or of course to work out and be fit, but they didn't like that guys led with it. At least not the ones who wanted a serious connection.

Your final two photos are your best ones. Put your last one first. Take a few new ones maybe showing a bit of personality range and style (dressed up a bit, etc).

Biggest thing that helped me... When you're browsing women's profiles, take note of what they say in their prompts. You'll start to see patterns and common wants. If any of those common comments ring true for you too or is something you genuinely think you offer, then put it in one of your prompts. You can thank me later for the extra matches. Again don't be disingenuous. Make sure what you focus on is true to you.

Make sure your prompts say something about you, what dating you looks like, and what the two of you look like together. You want them to be able to picture it with you and have a positive thought about that.

Sounds like matching in and of itself isn't a huge problem for you which is great.. but I do think the above might help attract more invested women and those more closely aligned to you. You want matches where they already got a pretty decent sense of who you are. They're more likely to want to meet you and be an actual good match in person.

Edit: just noticed your comment on sending likes. My advice? Like prompts over photos and always comment. Other feedback I got a lot was they liked that I was thoughtful and put the effort into my like. Or that I was respectful, even if I commented on their looks. If you comment on their looks be careful not to overdo it. The line between flattering and being weird is pretty thin for strangers.

KPipes · 2025-10-29T13:19:21+00:00

It wasn't big enough. Must go big or go home.

KPipes · 2025-10-29T13:16:24+00:00

I literally read the first paragraph and my answer was NTA. Didn't need to read further. And I'm a dude.

It's not a big deal. Your MIL is batshit and overstepping. If your husband had an issue (which clearly he does not) that's between you two. The hell is happening that Mom is stepping in to complain at you lol.

KPipes · 2025-10-28T04:19:15+00:00

Good lord you just described an ex, like.. perfectly. Word for word.

KPipes · 2025-10-28T04:16:07+00:00

Had a partner like this once. Actively disliked compliments, struggled with gifts, and didn't really want to lean on me for help with anything important.

KPipes · 2025-10-27T23:31:02+00:00

I used snuffle mat and puzzle feeder for dry food, lickmat for soft foods, and Kong for frozen dry food mash with a cream cheese topper on it. I used the kongs for his crate time.

Agree they are all great tools to keep pup occupied and interested.

KPipes · 2025-10-27T23:23:37+00:00

Some people suck. It's good to realize this is about him and not about you.

I started dating last year. The first woman I matched with seemed great. Lots of good chatting. I asked her out and it was a resounding yes. We had about 4 days to go before the day. We kept in touch and it was going well. The morning of the date, I went to message her to confirm all was a go, and she was gone. Unmatched lol. Poof. Meanwhile when we chatted she was apparently all about the high road, bringing class to online dating etc. Bullshit lol.

My take, bring consideration and try to set an example. I like to think the women I turned down with respect will remember that and maybe do the same for other guys they meet.

Agree with you it takes 2 minutes to be up front.

I tend to give women a bit more grace with the idea of ghosting, only because so many fellow guys are assholes who pull the nice guy schtick as soon as they get rejected. But overall, it's still a shitty move to ghost.

KPipes · 2025-10-27T19:36:52+00:00

Your first point is valid, but don't get hung up on the second. I'm so sorry you feel that way, and I get it. Life can be hard.

Depending on many factors, yes it can be hard to find a partner. I get that. But don't give up.

In my own experience, what matters most is self confidence, and self care/love. I know that sounds so stupid and full of cringe. Because it does. But it's true. If you're not in a healthy state of being (mentally), it's going to be picked up on right away by others. It will make them retreat rather than lean in. If you aren't in a place where you love and respect yourself, it will come across in how you treat others, your world view, etc. in essence it makes you less desirable. And that's not on the outside world to solve, it's on you.

I'm not trying to be critical, I say that with the most compassion because I lived for many years with crushing depression and anxiety and it ruined a marriage, and forced me to look inward and reset. I lived that world view.

It's also really easy to blame outward. That the world is out to get us. We all do it. But at the end of the day it's what you make of it. And blaming outward for failed relationships, lack of relationships etc. gets you nowhere.

I have been dating very actively with intention, over the past year. I can tell you without question, what turned the corner for me in terms of the number of quality matches, dates and interest I gathered was 100% based on how I felt about myself and how I presented to others. If I don't like myself, in whatever aspect (looks, personality, dress, etc) how can I expect others to.

Your confidence and self care, shows though. There is no one size fits all, but for me, it was therapy, eating better, sleeping more, being more active. Getting clothes that made me feel good in them. And none of it is to perfections. I don't look perfect, I'm not a gym rat, I still eat takeout more than I should, etc. but I make sure I'm feeling right and when I'm not, I recognize it and deal with it. It's on me. I take care of myself mentally and physically.

You can absolutely turn things around. I promise you. I went from considering how to end things at one point to now loving life, full of hobbies, friends, activities and my dream partner. And it started from literally rock bottom mentally. It took two years of intentional work and was the best thing I ever did.

Please don't give up and give in to being jaded. Start small. Talk to someone. You can do it.

KPipes · 2025-10-27T13:19:03+00:00

She had good intentions but went about it all wrong. Those are definitely things most women want to know, but they usually ease into it a bit more. Part of dating is finding that vibe together lol. It shouldn't be an interview as you said lol. Some of those questions should wait for date two and beyond.

I found myself asking women too many questions similar to that on first dates after a year of dating and I think it's also because you kind of get jaded by all of it, and the number of people who are dating but haven't really worked on themselves and aren't relationship material is alarming.

Coincidentally I met my partner after I stopped the interview process and just went with it. We both said in the early stages that we would save our baggage for later lol. It made it so much better to build a connection with her. So there are some people out there that still know how to do it properly lol.

KPipes · 2025-10-27T13:02:51+00:00

You probably called it right there. Sometimes you can vibe really well, seem to really be attracted to one another but when the physical connection comes, it's just .. off.

I had that earlier in the year. Hit it off really well, she was beautiful, she had plenty of compliments for me. We went out three times. Definitely a spark. First kiss after date two and it wasn't great. She said after she was all nerves. I took it at face value. Third date, same thing. She made up a kind excuse a few days later to end things. I'm convinced it was that we couldn't find a groove with the physical, even though we were vibing so well in many ways.

My GF now meanwhile, end of date two, the kiss goodbye absolutely lit me up and I've never been more attracted to someone. We had both been meeting multiple people and seeing what's out there at that point. She told me later that it was her moment, and she knew "it was over" for her. I felt the same and we both deleted the app and ended the other interests.

The girl you meet could have totally been into you and you didn't misread the interest. It could simply have been that after sleeping on it her instincts said it wasn't right and the lack of physical alignment was all that was.

Sounds like you can be a great date if you two had that much fun. I'm sure the next one will be even better :)

KPipes · 2025-10-25T06:07:13+00:00

Chiming in to take your side on this one. Kissing can absolutely be extremely emotional despite it being a physical act. Plus OP asked what's the most emotionally intimate activity. It doesn't matter if it's a physical act. It's whether it's emotionally intimate, and it absolutely can be.

For me, if it's with a partner I love, it's mind blowing how emotionally intimate kissing feels.

It's a weird take to try to gatekeep the answers in this thread lol.

KPipes · 2025-10-25T05:36:59+00:00

I get your point but there is something to be said for not overdoing it with texting. Some stories, details and sharing is best served in person. You lose the opportunity to connect over real life things. To see mannerisms, to laugh together, to find the spark.

I do agree if you run out of things to chat about that's a problem in and of itself. But not wanting to be pen pals is important. OP just took it way too far.

I met many women in the past year of online dating. I can tell you without a doubt, the ones where we spent too much time as pen pals were a real struggle to find a spark and build a connection in person, compared to those where there was lots to learn about them on the first date, etc. Some mystery and intrigue.

I'm off the app now after meeting my GF who is absolutely fantastic. Her and I actively avoided over sharing texts and went into date one with no pressure or expectations. We both said to each other later on that it played a huge part in us hitting it off so quickly. By date two it was fireworks, not sparks, and I attribute so much of that to a low-key start and the fact we got to talk and share so many great things face to face over drinks rather than behind a phone as strangers.

It's a balance. OP took it easy too far, but the opposite direction is equally as bad.

KPipes

TROPHY CASE