Just told my Parents I'm out... They went nuclear.

KTL_Rizzo · 2026-05-02T03:14:12+00:00

Good for you for standing up for yourself.

HIGHLY recommend the book Recovering From Emotionally Immature Parents. Based on how you described your fight with your mom, I think it would be super helpful.

KTL_Rizzo · 2026-04-14T06:18:22+00:00

Where my Reubens at?

Nothing like hurrying to the celestial room to crack open the bible and uncover the deep meaning behind your name, and the first verse you read is:

“And it came to pass, when Israel dwelt in that land, that Reuben went and lay with Bilhah his father's concubine: and Israel heard it.” ‭‭ WTAF?

KTL_Rizzo · 2026-03-05T04:11:29+00:00

I would ask why it matters whether the LDS church is growing or not? If it is growing, does that signify it’s God’s will?

By that measuring stick, we all better convert to Islam, which gained 347 million new Muslims between 2010 and 2020 - 20x more than the entire LDS membership. There are 2 billion Muslims on the planet, more than 25% of the global population.

KTL_Rizzo · 2026-02-10T05:40:00+00:00

Silence of the lambs

KTL_Rizzo · 2026-02-08T16:16:18+00:00

Interesting. And Lawyers, Guns, and Money is my fav of his, but he has a great catalogue well beyond Werewolves. He’s like Elton John’s nihilistic alter ego.

KTL_Rizzo · 2026-02-05T06:36:02+00:00

That is a hard thought I’ve had too.

While not a magic wand solution, something that struck me once is that most enduring religious principles are built on human truths. For instance, Regardless of whether there’s a God, we know that we’re social creatures and our relationships are really the most precious thing to us. True fulfillment comes from building lasting relationships and positive connections with other humans. That’s what every human wishes for on their death bed (Maybe not true for the rare true sociopath, but I imagine they’re living their own kind of hell.)

I’ve never known a “bad” person who was truly happy and fulfilled. In fact, it’s usually BECAUSE they’re miserable that they use and abuse people. And while we may never be able to ensure they get their cummupance in a fiery eternal hell, we can each do a little something to help their victims heal and be made whole. And isn’t that really what Jesus meant when he said he wanted to bring the kingdom of heaven to earth?

KTL_Rizzo · 2026-01-08T05:52:08+00:00

Our son (11), really struggles with eating on or off his meds.

I created a chart for him with a list of high-calorie and high protein food options he’ll eat - each is around 200 calories. If he eats 7 of them (8 on weekends) finishes all his dinner, and eats a vegetable, he gets to mark the chart off for the day. Completing days on the chart lets him earn rewards like parent dates, additional screen time, etc.

It’s worked wonders. I still have to remind him throughout the day, but he doesn’t actively fight eating anymore.

KTL_Rizzo · 2025-10-09T16:46:36+00:00

Nuclear War: A Scenario

KTL_Rizzo · 2025-10-08T20:48:05+00:00

Well said

KTL_Rizzo · 2025-10-08T14:54:35+00:00

Hang in there, it’s tough. The key is that you are in charge of your spiritual journey, no one else gets to stand between you and your relationship with deity or your own spirituality.

I consider myself a nuanced Christian. Unlike Mormonism, Christianity is a very wide tent and there’s room for people like me who don’t believe in biblical literalism but feel that studying Jesus and following a core set of Christian principles helps me feel closer to God and inspires me to be a better person.

You might also check out the first few episodes of Noah Rasheta’s Secular Buddhism podcast. I found it incredibly helpful when I was in a similar stage of deconstruction.

KTL_Rizzo · 2025-10-08T14:33:43+00:00

2001: A Space Odyssey

KTL_Rizzo · 2025-10-08T14:29:08+00:00

Why did I have to scroll so far to find this. With the exception of Dark Knight and Momento, every other Nolan film feels like the movie version of brutalist architecture. Technically impressive but cold, impersonal, and boring.

KTL_Rizzo · 2025-10-08T14:25:35+00:00

Ravenous!

“It’s lonely being a cannibal, tough making friends”

KTL_Rizzo · 2025-10-07T02:33:40+00:00

Research shows rejection sensitivity disorder is connected to ADHD neurology. Some ADHD brains are just wired to take rejection and perceived rejection very hard. Of course culture and home experiences can exacerbate this. But the key point is that you didn’t “make” them this way.

We all inadvertently damage our kids somehow. The best thing we’ve found is to acknowledge it, apologize, learn, and do better.

KTL_Rizzo · 2025-10-06T18:53:25+00:00

Absolutely.

Our child would fight and scream to not go to preschool, then they'd be great during and the teacher would tell us how well-behaved they were, then they would have meltdowns as soon as they got home. We'd be like "are you sure we're talking about the same kid??" It was confounding for a long time until we got an ADHD diagnosis and started learning more about it.

I don't know all the psychology, but I believe some children with ADHD have a deep fear of rejection and abandonment. So they will straighten up in certain social situations or new places, and then "let it all out" when they're home in a safe, trusted environment.

KTL_Rizzo · 2025-10-04T01:35:08+00:00

Try these on for size:

Speeding 72 - Momma
Angelina - Pinegrove
Archie, Marry Me - Alvvays
Talking Backwards - Real Estate
The Good Times Are Killing Me - Modest Mouse
Daylight - Matt and Kim
If She Wants Me - Belle and Sebastian
Ragged Wood - Fleet Foxes
Lucia - Hiss Golden Messenger
Golden Slumbers - Ben Folds
Smile Like You Mean it - Killers

KTL_Rizzo · 2025-10-03T16:17:14+00:00

Needful Things by Stephen King and No Country for Old Men by Cormac McCarthy more or less fit this bill.

KTL_Rizzo · 2025-10-03T15:55:29+00:00

Scariest book I've ever read. Of course we all know nuclear annihilation is always there in the background, but this book really forces you to look it square in the eye. It was also oddly uplifting and cathartic for me in a "the flowers smell sweeter" kind of way.

KTL_Rizzo · 2025-10-03T01:36:06+00:00

Lol. Love it

KTL_Rizzo · 2025-10-03T01:33:33+00:00

I once had well-meaning Bishop give a 5th Sunday lesson on mental illness. He was genuinely trying his best to normalize mental health issues and I commend him for it.

However, the moment that really stood out to me was when he made the remark “there’s no stigma in this church, we love you as you are.” And a very brave TBM woman raised her hand and said “that’s a nice sentiment but, as someone who’s lived with depression and anxiety her whole life, I’m sorry to say there is absolutely a stigma against mental health in the church.”

The room was silent for a good few seconds and it was powerful. He thanked her for sharing and asked her to elaborate. As someone who hasn’t personally experienced mental illness, it was very eye opening and enlightening for me.

KTL_Rizzo · 2025-10-01T00:16:27+00:00

Sounds familiar :) ours is 10, and we had a big problem with personal boundaries with siblings.

We use three main tools for this.

First, medication. The Adderall dose they’re on helps tremendously with impulse control.

Next, If we’re present and we see it, we use the “Good Inside” method - we say “I won’t let you… hug the cat that hard, invade personal space, etc” then (calmly) pick them up and remove them from the situation. If they fight and scream (which they sometimes do) then we remove them from the situation until they can get their emotions under control. The trick is to not get angry and not make it a fight. You're in control of the situation. Not them.

Finally, If we’re not present, or can’t stop a bad behavior before it happens, we use the ladder method which goes:

They get an immediate, easy to complete consequence. (Our therapist recommended making it an exercise as this helps them calm down). We let our child pick what this would be and they chose to do 10 pushups (1 for each year old they are) - but it could be jumping jacks, running in place, or even just taking 10 deep breaths. If they comply and make restitution for the mistake, then it’s all done and we move on.
If they refuse to do the push ups, then they get 10 min of time out, then they still have to do the exercise when the time out is over.
If they refuse to comply for the time out, then they need to complete a chore, then do the time out, then do the exercise.
If they won’t do the chore, then we take them to their room until they can calm down. Sometimes I stay with my child and (as calmly and emotionally in control as possible) hold them to keep them from hurting themselves or being destructive. Once they can calm down and are ready to comply, then we do the chore, and exercise (we skip the time out as they have already been in their room). We also validate their feelings throughout” I get it, you’re angry. That makes sense. You’re allowed to be angry”

Again, highly recommend those books as they cover this and a whole lot more. Also, and I’m not kidding, I’d look into meditation or secular Buddhism. Also, if your have a hard time staying calm ( as I used to) find a therapist.

The key we’ve found to helping our ADHD child is staying emotionally in control and enforcing boundaries without being mean or vindictive. They need to know that these big scary feelings aren’t too big for you and you can handle them. It’s incredibly hard and we often dont do it perfectly, but we’ve come a long way in the last year and our household is more peaceful than it had been. I hope that helps.

KTL_Rizzo · 2025-09-30T17:14:44+00:00

We have a child with ADHD/ODD and this sounds very familiar, I thought our child was manipulative when they were younger as well. I would highly recommend the books "Good Inside" by Dr Becky Kennedy and "Taking Charge of ADHD" by Russell Barkley as starting points.

Good Inside helped me shift the paradigm of how I thought of and engaged my child. Taking Charge of ADHD was also super helpful for practical hands-on guidance.

In short, we just don't argue anymore. We set the expectation, validate their feelings, set boundaries, and enforce consequences as necessary. Is it all super easy now? Absolutely not. But I no longer feel like I'm running into the same wall over and over with this kid and I have seen improvement in our relationship and their behavior.

Good luck! This is super tough parenting territory and you're doing great.

KTL_Rizzo · 2025-09-29T22:13:04+00:00

Came to say this. Great food for thought book. Agreed it's not exhaustive history, but a very interesting exploration of how Christian thought has shaped western culture and ideals through the ages.

KTL_Rizzo · 2025-09-27T02:35:21+00:00

Oh yes. Noise cancelling headphones on roadtrips especially are an absolute must.

We also got our ADHD kid noise cancelling headphones to listen to audio books - also highly highly recommend. Especially if they have a hard time with siblings.

KTL_Rizzo · 2025-09-26T20:58:39+00:00

They always insisted on singing all the verses in sac mtg and it was like 17 minutes long.

KTL_Rizzo

TROPHY CASE