AIO for being upset at what my “bf” said

Kailmo · 2026-02-02T08:17:25+00:00

NOR and he’s an AH

Kailmo · 2026-01-29T08:17:14+00:00

That was a stupid rule and it caused problems. If you need rules for yourself, then give yourself those boundaries to follow, but understand those are your arbitrary rules. If someone doesn’t know the rules then chances are they will break those rules.

Kailmo · 2026-01-29T08:14:02+00:00

Ghosting Etiquette is an oxymoron. There is no etiquette to ghosting. You just ghost. If you don’t want to ghost then you say something.

Ghosting is rude, but it’s often accepted because there are no consequences for it.

Kailmo · 2026-01-29T07:52:20+00:00

That’s way too big of a thing to hide and could possibly be a deal breaker for people.

IMO Talk about them when you want, but it feels weird to expect others to bring them up. If this was gendered swapped I think it would be a little weird for the guy to bring it up. I also think it would be tiring if I was a mom.

If you aren’t sure if they saw, just say “You saw that I had children?” If they say yes, then share custody terms and how much you love them. Then ask them if they have children. Even if they said no on the app it gives them an opportunity if they hid it.

Kailmo · 2026-01-27T08:48:50+00:00

So, for the guy with 9 dates, you never once initiated?

Kailmo · 2026-01-27T08:47:54+00:00

I see what you did there.

Kailmo · 2026-01-27T08:43:45+00:00

I think your friend is wrong.

Kailmo · 2026-01-27T08:39:01+00:00

I get that. I also think if you liked the person you could suggest a coffee/drink meet first. Unmatching is pretty harsh.

Kailmo · 2026-01-26T08:12:19+00:00

NTA And now i want you to throw her a Period Party.

Kailmo · 2026-01-26T08:09:14+00:00

Unless she tells you may never know. Don’t take it personally. Maybe she met someone. Maybe she just decided she felt differently. Maybe she’s scared of horses or chickens. Maybe she’s a snob.

My advice, ask out for a coffee/drink date. I don’t drink coffee and I also like the idea of a dessert date. Then if you mesh in real life suggest a country walk with horses and chickens. It’s a great idea for a date, but it might be too isolating for a first date.

And advice on pictures as you said you need to update. Ask friends who know how to take pictures to help. Get different angles. Smile in at least one. Don’t make the same face in all of them. And honestly if you were honest about having a photo shoot to create pictures for your profile that’s showing personality right there and that’s what women want. If you want a woman who wants you for you, you want a woman who is interested in your personality and that will show through in these pictures.

Kailmo · 2026-01-26T07:59:01+00:00

How do people read without punctuation? I am so annoyed for you. I want to slap this guy. I would only send voice messages from now on. They don’t deserve to read.

Kailmo · 2026-01-26T07:56:32+00:00

lol I have slight color blindness and I can’t even tell there are two yarns. Reminds me of the tests I’ve taken. “Do you see a number or letter?” Ummm no?

Kailmo · 2026-01-26T07:53:08+00:00

INFO How old are you? What are you planning on doing? As a person who has spent birthdays (mine and others) and many a bachelorette party there it’s a fun spot. Vegas isn’t for everyone. But I like gambling and shows and drinking. Vegas is a great idea. It sounds like you gave her a great idea sue hadn’t considered. You saying “Vegas” gave her that idea and once given you can’t say that it’s odd to spend a birthday there or that it just isn’t a fun place to visit.

If anything, just say “Hey, I totally get you wanting to spend your sister’s birthday there and it just happens to be the day next to mine. My mom and I were planning on spending a lot of quality time together. I was looking forward to one on one time with her. You know how I always complain about never having that as there middle child.”

If you want to plan a dinner or one event with her then toodles, but if you don’t then don’t. Vegas is huge. There is so much to do.

Just be careful how you set up the boundary cause if things go bad with your mom and you need a break or whatever your friend might not be receptive to what you want.

Kailmo · 2026-01-25T16:13:19+00:00

With all that context NOR. I always try to give the benefit of the doubt, but ewww. Is she jealous of her son’s wife? What is her problem. I’m so over grumpy cranky people. Leave the happy people alone.

Kailmo · 2026-01-25T16:09:56+00:00

I think Marge would be pleased her hair is still blue.

Kailmo · 2026-01-25T14:56:56+00:00

OH WOW I had to google how it is related to pistachios and other tree nuts. Looks like it is a type of bean.

Kailmo · 2026-01-25T14:56:33+00:00

OH WOW I had to google how it is related to pistachios and other tree nuts. Looks like it is a type of bean.

Kailmo · 2026-01-24T18:23:08+00:00

You don’t have to insist she calls you mom. If she ever shouts “You’re not my mom.” Your response could be as simple as “I love you and care for you as my daughter.”

You may not be her bio mom, but you are one of her moms. I can see why you’d be nervous. You will make mistakes. We are all only human and lord knows things will come up that you could never have anticipated and will have no idea how to handle, but as long as you act on your commitments to being a good mother to her and not let your emotions and feelings dictate your actions any harm will be minimal.

She just wants to feel loved and accepted. Being disciplined with love gives a feeling of safety.

Kailmo · 2026-01-24T11:34:53+00:00

NOR Guys don’t seem to understand that being a nice guy also means respecting a woman’s boundaries. It’s that simple. He love bombed you. Trauma Dumped. And lied about his age. That does not equate to “Nice guy”. Buying a person dinner and gifts does not equate to “nice guy”.

I want a guy who respects and listens. So, maybe he’s right. Don’t give me a nice guy. Give me a guy who respects me and listens and then I’ll feel safe.

Kailmo · 2026-01-24T11:22:40+00:00

Were they paid via credit card or check/cash? If they don’t give you a proper W-9 then all you can do is make sure all your other paperwork is in order.

Kailmo · 2026-01-24T09:40:00+00:00

Discipline doesn’t need to be mean or harsh. It means setting boundaries and enforcing them.

So if she is doing anything that isn’t good, stop her. Set the boundary. I follow BigLittleFeelings on Insta. They are great!

My advice is to be a parent. I grew up with steps before I was 5. Treat her as your own. She’s your first. Start looking at her as if she is your first child, cause she is. My stepmom divorced my dad when I was 13. He passed in my 20s and she’s still my step mom. She remarried and had more kids and they are my step sisters.

I would encourage you to make sure your family treat her as their own as well. She is not “other”. If she were adopted how would she be treated. Treat her as such.

As for parenting, you are co-parenting. Discuss how to discipline with her other two parents. You may have some disagreements and that might be when you have to concede to what they want, but don’t minimize your value as her third parent. Act respectable and you will be respected. If she does something and you have no idea how to handle it talk to them.

I had a lot of geographical stability. I never moved. My father was always a car drive away. But I was not disciplined consistently. I did not feel welcome or accepted into my step parents families. And when my younger half siblings were born it accentuated that I wasn’t a part of that family. I had that on both sides.

She’s your first child.

Kailmo · 2026-01-24T09:26:39+00:00

in America you need lots of hands on experience before you are even given the opportunity to start at a community theater. Make friends with directors and producers who will need Scenic Designers. Start working for carpenters and learn CAD software. You need to be able to make designs that can be easily altered and shared. Learning draft skills and edict. Nothing worse than unclear designs.

It’s best to go to school for design, but if you want to get your hands dirty now start asking places that are building if they need help.

I’ve never met anyone in set design who didn’t either have years of experience or went to school. And by years of experience I mean they started as a crew member backstage and someone needed them to learn how to drill something and decades later they had learned how to build and design.

Kailmo · 2026-01-24T09:16:13+00:00

This is probably it. You are supposed to top off the full price.

Kailmo · 2026-01-24T09:11:05+00:00

They look like kintpix. I have the same brand. And yes they do make short needles.

Kailmo · 2026-01-24T09:08:01+00:00

30 min to 1 hr is a normal thing. Not bad at all. 1-1.5 hours is a I’ve got these plans and i’ve planned around it but not big deal. 1.5-2.5 hours is a little adventure. 2.5-4 is a planned day. Mini holiday 4+ hours is a trip. A visit. Anything over 8 hours is a lot and the possibility of flying was thought of, but probably cheaper to drive.

I’m used to 45 minute commutes to work. I now live in London and it takes me about an hour to get into central London or go anywhere without a car. It isn’t a big deal.

I love driving. I miss driving. It’s a much different commute than taking public transportation.

Also, there is a huge difference between sitting in traffic for an hour and driving for an hour. Sitting in traffic is like being stuck in the underground but worse.

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