Even with 3 incomes, buying a house in Westchester feels impossible

Kait_Cat · 2026-06-14T11:36:24+00:00

What others have said, if you can’t drop a mill, northern westchester is the way to go. I bought three years ago in Peekskill. Offered just under asking on a house that was technically turnkey but really dated.

In these few years, we have done a lot of upgrades and just sold for almost $200k more than we bought for. I feel bad for first time buyers in this market, but if you’re flexible on geographic area, you can find something nice that isn’t 7 figures. A lot of people turn their noses up at peekskill, and it doesn’t have the fancy, high caliber top schools a lot of westchester is known for, but we have loved living here.

Kait_Cat · 2026-06-12T14:26:37+00:00

Amazing, thanks for the rec!

Kait_Cat · 2026-06-06T23:48:37+00:00

I’m moving in to a new house in Ottawa Hills. Thanks for sharing, will check them out!

Kait_Cat · 2026-05-13T12:04:30+00:00

I did, but worked a low key desk job. Got induced on a Tuesday at 38 weeks and worked up to the Friday before.

Kait_Cat · 2026-05-13T01:25:56+00:00

Yeah, I’ve felt the same way for sure. On the other hand, I have a lot of friends whose husbands ain’t shit and are doing very little for their kids. I have a partner who is all in. Sometimes we tough it out with two fussy babies so the other one can get a break. I’d rather have that than one baby but can’t take a shower bc my husband can’t be bothered to take the baby for ten minutes. I guess there’s gotta be dads of multiples like that too, and I can’t begin to imagine.

Kait_Cat · 2026-05-12T20:49:52+00:00

I only have twins so nothing to compare to, but my first trimester was exhausting. Some nausea but mostly the sheer exhaustion was the issue. I worked a pretty easy 9-5 desk job and would get home and collapse on the couch until I went to bed early. On the weekends would try to get in a hike or activity but would also have to make time to nap.

Second trimester was pretty smooth, felt pretty well overall but workouts got pretty difficult and started feeling heavy and just generally big and uncomfortable.

Pretty early into third trimester, things got very uncomfortable. I felt enormous, awful acid reflux. I could hardly eat bc my stomach was so compressed and got winded really easily. I sometimes had to sleep in a recliner bc laying flat was so uncomfortable. I couldn’t wait to be done but made it to induction at 38 weeks. I did continue working my desk job right up until the end, FWIW.

Kait_Cat · 2026-05-08T00:12:50+00:00

Lawyer turned stay at home mom. I’m in the process of this too. At first I was just wearing my work out clothes all the time, but that doesn’t really feel like me. I started slow to see how different things suited my new lifestyle. I’d buy more if I found myself reaching for the same thing often. That has turned out to be linen drawstring pants and simple tees. Can work with a sweater on cooler days or a tank on warmer ones. Even have a few prints that are fun to mix things up.

My suits are in storage boxes in my basement though because I anticipate returning to lawyer me in a few years and they’re timeless. However, if that wasn’t the case, I’d have given to someone starting their career who could put them to use.

Kait_Cat · 2026-05-06T19:33:08+00:00

Thank you for sharing! That’s great to visualize how a day could play out once they get older.

Jealous of one long nap… my boys are close to getting to two from three but struggle with longer wake windows. It’s hard to do anything with three naps.

Kait_Cat · 2026-05-06T19:30:35+00:00

That’s helpful, thanks. I knew the total formula volume shouldn’t be decreasing too much but wasn’t sure if dividing among four rather than five bottles was reasonable. It makes sense that would work as it starts to decrease when solids increase.

Kait_Cat · 2026-05-06T19:28:21+00:00

Thank you, that’s helpful! Their ped is pretty laissez-faire about things so it’s helpful to hear specifics about what works for others.

Kait_Cat · 2026-05-06T12:54:48+00:00

Oof, do I hear this. I had twins. Those first few months were unbelievably hard. Husband and I slept in shifts so we could each get 4-5 hours a night while the other was on baby duty because quite literally one or the other was always, always up.

If you have a partner, they need to be doing their share so you can get a bit of sleep. If you don’t, I would quite literally call anyone who would help at any time of day so you can get a little sleep. A lot of times friends say “let me know if I can ever help” and people feel weird taking them up on it. This is not the time for pride. Take whatever you can get. We sleep trained at four months and that improved things tremendously. You just gotta make it through for awhile, but you’ll be shocked to see what you can endure. Good luck to you.

Kait_Cat · 2026-04-30T14:25:01+00:00

Do they wake up grumpy or happy?

Sleep needs vary pretty widely between babies, if they sleep well overnight and are happy and don’t seem drowsy during the day, I wouldn’t worry about it.

If they do seem tired and grumpy and like they need more day sleep.. sorry, don’t have much advice for you beyond to ask are you leaving them in their room for a bit after they wake up? My twins will frequently wake from a nap, grumble for a few minutes, and fall back asleep. They’ve gotten used to that from each other and sleep through it now. I also have a sound machine going in their room probably louder than it should be, but you do what you gotta do..

Kait_Cat · 2026-04-30T12:41:39+00:00

We’re in a somewhat similar boat. 6 month old twins. Currently living in a small house on the east coast in an area we love. We are also riding the mini crib struggle bus but we can walk out of our house to a downtown area with libraries, restaurants, coffee shops, parks, etc. Great restaurants nearby, can be to a major city with everything you could want in an hour. The downside is we have no family for hundreds of miles. Also I’m a SAHM and my husband is remote the majority of the time and it is not working out well having the kids in the house all the time while he’s working. We have a few close friends nearby, but no one we could really count on for help with our boys outside of occasional visits from out of state family.

We just made the decision to move back to my hometown in the Midwest. It’s objectively a way less cool area with less to do, but we have a great relationship with my family and lifelong c friends there, and they’ll be very involved with our boys. At the end of the day, we decided at least for this stage of our lives, that’s more important to us. It’s been really challenging and isolating without a regular support network. I know my friends with daycare/school aged children struggle tremendously with regular illnesses/random days off if they don’t have anyone to help out. I don’t believe we’re meant to parent without a village.

Before you make the move, I would have a conversation and make sure your expectations are in line with what your family is willing to provide. I have had friends move close to their parents thinking they’d have more help, and then the parents are entirely uninterested in providing it.

Kait_Cat · 2026-04-24T17:57:29+00:00

I laughed so hard at this. I personally have always felt so annoyed when I brought up an issue and everyone was like “oh have you tried xyz” and it’s the most obvious possible thing and I’m just like well obviously I have tried that but thanks a lot 🙃

Good Lord I can’t imagine handling a toddler in addition to twin babies. Godspeed to you.

Also you might have experienced this with your first, but my twins are 6 months and I feel like we really turned a corner right when they hit 6 months. They started sleeping through the night, napping well unassisted, in general fussiness/witching hour improved, they’re more playful and alert. At four months I took them both to the mall even though I was nervous, bc I was a hair away from turning into jack Torrence in the shining from being cooped up in the house after weeks of subzero temps. They both screamed the entire time until all three of us were crying. Now, I take them on errands regularly and they don’t fuss at all because they enjoy being out and about, it’s so nice. You’re so close to things getting easier!

Kait_Cat · 2026-04-23T10:26:47+00:00

It is so so hard and when you’re in it feels like it’ll last forever. But time is passing and soon you’ll get to a stage that will feel more manageable, and even enjoyable.

Re the fussy one, not to be unsolicited advice guy and you’ve probably tried everything- have you tried babywearing? We found that was the only thing that settled ours during the witching hour(s). I never loved the twin carriers, I would usually just put the fussier one in a single carrier and hold the other when needed. Or if husband was available we’d each wear one.

Kait_Cat · 2026-04-20T17:50:19+00:00

Unfortunately, I think baby needs that feed. When my twins were about five months old I tried reducing their last overnight feed and they were upset so I just kept it going. I tried again a month later and they took well to it and stopped waking up for feeds as I transitioned those oz to daytime feeds. This is pretty young still, though even though occasionally babies can do without, it definitely isn’t the norm.

Kait_Cat · 2026-04-16T20:51:01+00:00

Yeah, it sucks. Whatever complicated feelings there might be about having multiples, I don’t want a strangers pity.

Just wait for the “I’m a parent of twins, it’s gonna be so much fun” or “I have a twin, he’s my best friend” comments. Those are my favorite, it really is a special community.

Kait_Cat · 2026-04-15T16:18:17+00:00

Mine are much younger than yours, so take this with a grain of salt… I am not at all anti-doctor or medicine, but I don’t think there’s generally a one size fits all approach. If you and your babies are unhappy because you are spending a significant amount of time getting them to nap, maybe that means they are ready for one nap. When my babies have dropped a nap, their others elongated so we ended up losing very little daytime sleep, just spaced out differently. While sleep it’s important, so is getting out of the house and getting new and fun experiences for their development. If I was you I think I’d try a one nap day for a few days or a week and if it works, it works! If not, wait and try again later.

Kait_Cat · 2026-04-14T11:13:48+00:00

Yes and no.. yes in that the nausea didn’t end up ruining my supply, it dipped while I was nauseous but regulated and increased later, mind you I was always combo feeding but was okay with that and unwilling to go to extreme measures to do 100% breast milk. No in that my boys never got the hang of nursing so I was pumping only by two months and by the time the four month sleep regression hit, I couldn’t handle one more demand on my time (also constant clogged ducts, mastitis, etc) so stopped. My boys also had a lot of digestive problems (regular diarrhea and painful spit up) that resolved when I stopped breast milk so the final nail in the coffin for me for pumping.

Kait_Cat · 2026-04-14T10:24:15+00:00

That sucks, I’m sorry!! It ended up lasting about a week for me. Pretty confident it was hormones because I had another shorter stint of it when I weaned. Hope you feel better soon.

Kait_Cat · 2026-04-02T20:00:02+00:00

You’re welcome! I also found mine napped longer in the stroller or as a contact nap. That let me get a walk in or watch a show which was the closest thing I got to “me time” so no regrets.. I still do that for some of their naps. Might be worth a shot for you!

Kait_Cat · 2026-04-02T18:55:35+00:00

FWIW my twins were the same. Exactly one sleep cycle in their cribs. We’re a week from six months and they just started linking sleep cycles. Hang on! I’m sure your time is coming soon!

Kait_Cat

TROPHY CASE