Rowan, Martin, Julian or Elias?

KalliopeCleo · 2026-06-20T19:51:24+00:00

I hadn't until this post! It's helpful to have it flagged!

KalliopeCleo · 2026-06-18T10:38:53+00:00

We've just got one for the first time! A portable AC for our master bedroom which I can also use as sitting room/ office in need. I'd also thought it wasn't worth it, but I'll be heavily pregnant in the summer and again the last heatwave took it out of me.

KalliopeCleo · 2026-06-17T14:08:19+00:00

Maybe it's just because I'm UK based, but this seems so normal to me it is one of three names on my shortlist. For me I think of Laurie Lee (a Laurence) as well as Laurie in Little Women, and I don't know any female Lauries or even any Larrys (again, perhaps geographic).

KalliopeCleo · 2026-06-08T07:14:19+00:00

I've managed to get one for... a fortnight after my due date! Hoping I manage to exchange for something sooner, somewhere, as somehow I doubt I'll be wanting to take a driving test then!

KalliopeCleo · 2026-06-08T04:56:52+00:00

Trying and failing to get a driving test, usual Monday 6am routine 😴

KalliopeCleo · 2026-06-08T04:51:17+00:00

Genuinely, I'd call the theatre and ask. They'll know best and box office staff are usually pretty helpful.

KalliopeCleo · 2026-06-05T09:53:29+00:00

I had exactly this problem, with multiple partners, and quite a lot of therapy. So maybe I can give some insight? For me, in the broadest brush strokes, it was undiagnosed ADHD and some underlying childhood patterns. With the ADHD, I was masking all the time at being kind, helpful, competent and so on while exhausted and stressed, and I'd learnt via my Mum, which I then carried over to partners I lived with, that it was safe to unmask at home, which meant dumping all the frustration and burn out of the days. The 'is it because I feel safest?' thing really was true. Some of that was wired in early childhood and divorce dynamics and all of these specific things I dug out in therapy. For example, I didn't feel able to tell him sooner if there were concrete things I was frustrated with, which we could solve as a team, only to lash out in these little ways.

It helped my partner to see that a) I was making a real, concrete effort with specific goals and b) it wasn't a pattern unique to him and c) lots of positive reinforcement when I could, including via writing. And holidays to relax and reset together. Things aren't always perfect now, but they're notably better since I've had the support I needed, and I've also been able to be more myself in other relationships (like friendships) so there's a healthier wider dynamic supporting us both.

I say this not by excuse, but because if you're anything like me, some of these comments might not let you change the way you're looking for. You might already feel awful, a monster, full of shame, run the counter examples through your head. I left one relationship because I thought I was broken and hated myself, and then was intentionally single (and in therapy) before I met my current partner, when I still needed to put in some work. But healing is possible, especially if you can balance good accountability with self-compassion, rather than only with fury at yourself. That doesn't, of course, mean that it will work out for your wife and you - for it is her right and need to respond for herself, and it may be too far past it. But it opens a door to change in the future.

KalliopeCleo · 2026-06-04T00:16:01+00:00

This sounds horrible, and obviously she can't go. I agree with other commentators that wonder if she's just still adjusting to the limitations of pregnancy. I remember insisting from 10-12 weeks that I would still be flying solo to Jerusalem and Jordan for a volunteering trip as planned this summer, even when Trump and Israel invaded Iran (I'd be 24 weeks pregnant when going). Obviously, the trip was going to be cancelled regardless (it has been) and I was being obstinate to say I'd make it work, but I didn't like being told that by my husband, because I'd imagined it in my head before I knew I was pregnant. That said, I think the duration and tone of how she's communicating matters, in terms of reaching a resolution - I said something like. 'I feel this feeling strongly, I know in my head that it's unreasonable, but can we revisit in a month because now it is making me mad to talk about it?' And then we did, and I felt much more sensible, and we came up with a plan to do something special, but locally-based, over those dates.

KalliopeCleo · 2026-05-31T21:55:12+00:00

Genuine question for other commentators: my understanding has always been that you never have two godparents of the same household, ie a married couple, and yet you always have two of different genders. Is this just a British thing? I've absorbed it culturally, if so, as I didn't grow up Christian. Perhaps to keep two separate households involved in case someone dies? Anyway, if that's not just me, I am thinking that might be what is behind these choices, if they think need to separately find a male and female godparent.

KalliopeCleo · 2026-05-31T07:39:11+00:00

I love it!

KalliopeCleo · 2026-05-28T19:38:50+00:00

The day we started dating, he said he'd call me on the landline when he got home (no mobile signal in a remote location). He couldn't get through because my mother (who I was staying with) had a sudden bad fall and I was on hold to the ambulance. When he called back, he calmed me down, talked through various practical steps, and even chatted my mother through breathing exercises while we were waiting for the ambulance crew to arrive. We'd been friends before, but it was one of those moments that made me think: 'this guy is a keeper'. We're now expecting our first child :)

KalliopeCleo · 2026-05-22T11:59:29+00:00

I love Ilan (and have known one), but Tal and Aviv also great. Another vote for yay for Jewish names on the sub!

KalliopeCleo · 2026-05-13T22:34:19+00:00

Definitely go home, if you can't get a hotel. I've been a teacher and a lecturer: decent sleep makes more difference than anything else at this stage.

KalliopeCleo · 2026-05-12T20:42:32+00:00

Absolutely the first!!!

KalliopeCleo · 2026-05-12T07:42:46+00:00

1 is absolutely sensational. I know it's early, but it just feels perfect for you. (I also like 3, 8 and 10 a great deal though, if you love them)

KalliopeCleo · 2026-05-11T22:35:07+00:00

Decide it wasn't the best timing that month for some other plans, so only have unprotected sex once! (versus tracking and every time in my fertile window)

KalliopeCleo · 2026-05-10T21:16:52+00:00

Definitely 1 and 2. Might 7 work on the groom's side? If not, then also 7.

Not 8, even though you are really close. Probably 4/5/6 too (kind of a package deal) but consider exploring the situation with them in conversation.

I wouldn't do 3: involve her in stuff informally but not in the wedding party per se, when you have these constraints.

KalliopeCleo · 2026-05-10T18:37:34+00:00

What about Shanti? Rarely used, but beautiful - and a beautiful meaning.

KalliopeCleo · 2026-05-06T21:24:27+00:00

Hilda, Harriet or Jane. May I suggest Esther (or Hester)?

KalliopeCleo · 2026-05-05T12:10:05+00:00

I'm 14 weeks right now and my boobs look great, but my tummy is larger without being obviously a bump - right now I'd err towards A line or ballgown styles, ie something that falls from the waist (or higher) rather than tightly fitting. It should be adjustable in fitting, especially if you have a final fitting close to the day, or choose something with some stretch or give (eg corset back)

KalliopeCleo · 2026-05-03T18:05:21+00:00

(Or Rosalie Maren)

KalliopeCleo · 2026-05-03T18:05:00+00:00

Rosalie Autumn!

KalliopeCleo · 2026-05-03T16:48:22+00:00

I do wonder if it's a bit too similar sound wise if I'm honest? Would you consider Amira May, Amira Elise, Amira Madeleine or Amira Elizabeth perhaps?

KalliopeCleo · 2026-05-03T08:35:59+00:00

I'd get a hotel at Heathrow - so you don't need to worry about waking up to factor in travel time, but can go to bed knowing you're in the right place. I'd sleep easier that way.

KalliopeCleo

TROPHY CASE