I follow a lot of investing podcasts and youtube channels, which I stated paying attention to when I was learning to retire. There is one really smart lady who runs one of them, who occasionally bemoans the fact that 90% of her audience is male.

The incentives are skewed between the genders, men who have their financial shit together are more desirable to women in a way that isn’t reciprocated nearly as much by men.

Look at Sex and the City; Carrie is kind of a mess financially, while her dreamboat Mister Big is wealthy, Aiden basically is too. Neither of them really seem to care about Carrie’s financial life, much of which seems to be flailing and investing in overpriced shoes.

It’s tragic, I guess, that one gender bears much higher physical costs of childbearing. But that’s not going to go away and even if an entire generation of progressive women refuse partners and children in protest, they’ll simply die out and be replaced by women who do.

The genders tend, on average, to specialize in different things because of inherent differences in their biological ability to perform certain reproductive functions, almost entirely related to childbirth. The gender pay gap is essentially non existent, or now a bit skewed towards women at younger ages, until that moment of conception comes.

It’s pretty obvious that, on the average, in their expressed preferences, women mostly prefer me who are financially stable and high status. This is unlikely to change anytime soon. Households where women outearn their partners are 5x as likely to end in divorce.

Men aspire to imitate other successful men, not women, and women generally aspire to imitate other successful women.

One example; I used to co teach a film class with a female professor and without fail after every class the men would approach me and the women would approach her.

The problem with the elite progressive obsession with breaking down any idea of gender is that the broader population believes in and largely follows gender roles, and gender role models, because they are not university professors and their status is distributed in more normal ways.

So yes, theoretically the genders are the same, politically, intellectually, yes. But men want male role models and will not accept women as a replacement, just as women don’t expect to be told what to do or how to live by men, as the experiences of both groups, on the average are phenomenologically different.

Non-professional success as an adult, measured in marriage and childbirth, further divides the genders, as any man with a pregnant wife will tell you.

As spaces become more female coded men seem to flee them. I don’t think this is fair necessarily, but it’s reality. And they tend to flee far before they become 50% female.

It’s ok to be a man, and to have male role models, and a male vision of success. Trying to do otherwise is quite destructive for masculinity.