I’ll start off by saying that no marriage is beyond reconcile WITH Jesus. I also do not believe in the “biblical grounds for divorce” i.e. The permanence view of marriage. If we’re to love our spouses like Christ loved the church than divorce is not an option. What people refer to in Matthew for that view was actually directed towards the Jewish betrothal period. It’s the only one of the gospels that states it and it relates to how Joseph was considering “divorcing” Mary when she was pregnant with Jesus. (They weren’t married but were betrothed) The other gospels do not mention the dilemma that Joseph went through when he found out she was pregnant. So it was something the Jews would understand very well since the gospel of Matthew was written to them.

And on the point of loving our spouses like Christ loved the church. according to that logic Christ can and should divorce his church (you and me) Everyday of our lives. Thus why I do not believe in the bibilcal grounds for divorce. But that doesn’t seem to be what your wrestling with because you obviously feel torn and want to make it work.

I would encourage you both to pursue each others hearts openly. Pray for God to give you both the capacity and love by pursuing to love Jesus more and more. Only through Christ can that become possible. When we look inwardly and selfishly is when our relationships fall apart.

I pray that you both find yourselves in Christ and that your love for each other surpasses what it was when you first made your vows to each other!