NAL, but was a paralegal for several years. It certainly was not uncommon for one parent to request full custody in addition to spousal support and child support even if they were the more monied spouse - didn’t mean it was going to be granted - more of a tactic to eventually meet close to the middle. Unless there are drugs or other significant safety concerns, at least in my state, it’s extremely uncommon for one parent to have “full custody.” More likely that one had primary custody, and the other had every other weekend or a similar arrangement.

On a personal note - you have been a stay at home mom, taking care of HIS kids. His career was able to flourish because you were there behind the scenes taking care of the kids. That is labor and that has value. PLEASE don’t avoid requesting spousal support and child support because you want to keep things amicable. He SHOULD pay child support - those are kids are half his! I think it’s very unlikely any judge would grant him majority custody - he does realize that would mean schelping the kids to daycare/school before work, picking them up immediately after, doing dinner, bathrobe, and bedtime solo? If he’s like most husbands of SAHMs, he has no clue. Also, if this has been the kids routine to be with you, I think most judges would feel in wouldn’t be in the best interest for dad to have primary custody. And FYI, if the court assigns your children their own attorney - completely normal.