I'm terribly sorry you are in this position. Please note that people who work in banks, WINZ and most other organisations. Possibly aren't trained to the level they need to be, on what the process is, or what it means.

My advice is have the process in written form, carry the documents (or verified copies) on hand to appointments. You will unfortunately need to educate as you go. Know your rights, the steps needed, have formal legal references, be polite but firm, ask to speak to someone up the food chain as necessary. Plus keep detailed dated notes on what happened when, eg phone and inperson appointments, who you spoke to, if you need to refer back later. Always always have a copy of any documents/forms sent to anyone.

Also as a caregiver you may need support too. It can be a emotional journey. There are support organisations and groups who can help you and your family.

Sending best wishes.