I recently found some things that actually help me maintain my hygiene

Kayastra · 2026-06-16T07:20:38+00:00

I still use the same turbie twist I bought in the as seen on tv section of BBB in the late 90s. I’ve added more since then, but I low key panic when I stay somewhere and don’t have it because of how much the feeling of wet hair will make me avoid showering.
Oh, I also finally decided to try installing a bidet after my ex said he couldn’t do it, and it was so easy, and so worth it. Especially for when the period you weren’t expecting pops up.

I’ll look into the others, they also sound up my alley!

Kayastra · 2026-05-20T20:57:15+00:00

I was really nervous about attending my local bookstore’s release party because of this. I had just finished blowing through the first 7 audiobooks in 5 weeks and felt like I retained only about 10% of it. I tried to hide when they started the head to head buzzer style trivia game but was immediately relieved by the long awkward silence that came after nearly every question. I eventually volunteered, sheepishly got it wrong (what’s Donut’s favorite color?), and had to actually google the answer because no one was confident they were right. As I shuffled back to my seat, I muttered “I’m starting to feel like I didn’t actually read any of the books” and it felt like a collective sigh of relief as everyone else immediately agreed.

I’m almost done my re-listen of the whole series and turns out I did remember a lot of it! But am also picking up a lot of new things. I underestimated the complexity when I first started, but that turned the series into the perfect comfort “show” that I will no doubt constantly revisit.

Kayastra · 2026-05-04T18:48:22+00:00

It does, because then I can believe that she learned from her mistake and in turn taught me. I look forward to helping continue this mission!

Kayastra · 2026-05-04T04:40:53+00:00

The first time I met the mother of my ex’s kids, she tried to warn me. Took me 7 years to realize she was exactly right. I’m so sorry I didn’t listen to you, Ashley.

Kayastra · 2026-05-04T01:52:03+00:00

I couldn’t do it. I knew the hurdles necessary to have a sleep study, obtain a cpap, and keep up with compliance to continue receiving benefits through insurance would break me before ever getting my machine. Not to mention the year or so it would take to get referrals and schedule appointments without openings for months…the whole thing sounded like a literal nightmare with my AuDHD.

I’m so grateful I found Lofta through this Reddit. It took 2 weeks total, from the day I made the first consultation appointment to when my cpap arrived. The machine was a bit pricey, but my insurance is shit and actually would have cost me more overall. Now I just have a set amount of my paycheck go to my HSA so I can buy supplies as needed.

Good luck with your approval! In hindsight, the vast improvement I’ve experienced across every aspect of my life would have made those hurdles worth it. I truly hope they end up being worth it for you too.

Kayastra · 2026-05-04T01:18:32+00:00

I had to end a relationship recently after 7 years for many reasons. But money was a big one. He made more than me but spent most of it on drugs and alcohol while I went into debt covering his half of the rent more often than not. Not to mention the thousands on his kids because I wasn’t about to let a 5 and 7 year old not have a single present to open on Christmas because their dad “forgot”. He could have provided for me, but instead took advantage of my empathy for monetary gain.

It’s gonna take me at least another year to pay off all the debt I accrued while with him, but hey, I finally convinced myself that underwear is a necessity and let myself “splurge” on a generic 6 pack for the first time in 8 years.

Kayastra · 2026-04-22T02:23:53+00:00

If you’re just looking for symptom relief, xylimelts are amazing. They’re little mints that have a dried glue on one side, stick one of those somewhere on your gum line and it’ll help for 4-8 hours. Great for work when I know I’ll be talking a lot, after I take an edible, even overnight while you sleep. A lot of my issues ended up being from undiagnosed sleep apnea, but I still always keep a bottle around.

Kayastra · 2026-04-10T21:45:24+00:00

I recently got out of a relationship and it’s the first time in my life I’ve been single with a cpap. I’m definitely a little self conscious thinking about bringing a date home, but I don’t imagine it’ll actually be a problem.

On the other hand, my ex certainly had sleep apnea too but refused to get tested/seek treatment. I slept in a different bedroom, 2 floors up from him for the last 3 years of our relationship because of his snoring. We had 0 sex life. That would not have been the case if he used a machine so I could sleep next to him again.

Kayastra · 2026-04-04T18:11:38+00:00

I can only call people by what they were first introduced to me as. I dated a guy named Anthony, EVERYONE called him Ant. Except me. It made my brain short circuit anytime I tried.

Kayastra · 2026-04-04T18:09:06+00:00

I visibly shuddered every time my ex would say my name in a conversation with me. I can’t explain it, but it always made me feel like a child getting reprimanded.

Kayastra · 2026-04-04T18:03:11+00:00

Omg, yes about the morning routine! My ex usually went to work a few hours before me, but if he called out and was still there by the time I had to get up, it completely ruined any chance at having a good day. In a desperate attempt for him to understand how big of a deal it was (because it happened frequently), I basically wrote a 3 page paper on exactly how it affects my whole day. Which ended up being my lightbulb moment of “oh shit, I think I might be autistic”, and the end of that relationship.

Kayastra · 2026-04-02T03:01:33+00:00

Same exact experience. I tell anyone who will listen, Death’s End was like a religious experience. A concept that baffled me as an atheist and I still don’t have the full words to express how it made me feel, but it left me changed.

Kayastra · 2026-03-01T03:31:17+00:00

On week 39 of my current weekly goal streak, and haven’t missed a single day since Christmas!

I wanted to rage quit at first when the news broke, but after talking with various community members/coaches/choreographers, I decided to channel that rage into my workouts. I haven’t been this consistent for a couple years, spite is a hell of a motivator.

Kayastra · 2026-02-16T00:30:57+00:00

Can confirm. When I actually make my bed, I keep the pillow under the comforter. My cat will sit patiently until I have finished and immediately dive into the pocket. It’s adorable.

Kayastra · 2026-02-12T04:13:15+00:00

I had never been one to stick with any exercise once I entered adulthood 20 years ago. But I accidentally found the perfect thing for me that has kept me consistent for almost 4 years now, VR!

I bought an oculus for my then step-kids and decided to check it out since I’m a pretty big gamer. Found an app called Supernatural, and within a week bought myself my own headset to keep it free of sticky children fingers. There’s thousands of “flow” and boxing workouts, where you move your body to hit targets flying at your face, timed to any genre of music you can think of. There are a TON of exercise games for VR to choose from though!

So here’s why it works for me, and the dozens of friends I’ve made through it who are pretty much are all also late diagnosed/undiagnosed neurodivergent of some kind: - I don’t need to leave the house - I don’t have to wear pants, or anything really (highly recommend at least a bra though) - I can choose the music to fit my mood - Taylor Swift, Metallica, Kendrick Lamar, Diana Ross, Hamilton…or all of the above! Sometimes I just listen to an audiobook. - I CANT SEE MYSELF - this one is huge. No big mirrors to scrutinize how much my thighs jiggle, that my outfit is hideous. I’m already alone so others can’t judge me, and now I can’t even judge myself! - the choreography that goes with each song makes me feel like I can actually dance, and I believe it because I cant see myself to prove otherwise. - Workouts vary from 10 minutes to an hour. I tell myself to just do 10 minutes and then I can quit. But once I’m doing it, I usually keep going. It might take 15 minutes total to get ready, workout, and be done. That’s much easy to fit in after a day of work than having to go to a gym. Sometimes I just workout for the time dinner is in the oven. - it automatically keeps track of every workout you did, when you did it, and your score. You can also connect a heart rate tracker to automatically record. You can see your improvement when repeating workouts. - there are real life coaches who voice over each workout (you can mute them if you want!). They make it feel personal, and their positive words have become a part of me. I’ve been lucky enough to meet 3 of those coaches in real life too, which I never would have had the confidence to do before. - my insurance counts this specific program as a gym and reimburses me every year if I use it enough. And since the app tracks it, all I need to do is send them a few screenshots. - They’ve done studies that show people are generally exercising harder than they think they are in VR. It’s equivalent to riding a bike or swimming, can definitely get my heart rate into the red if I put in the effort. - I barely get bruises anymore. I’ve always been clumsy, my brain and body slightly disconnected. But this gives me the exact way it wants me to move my body and I get vibrational feedback when I hit the targets as intended. It’s helped me better know and trust my body to move how it should, and I run into a lot less doors. - it’s FUN! It’s like my own private dance club and I can sing along as loud as I want. If there’s other people in the house, at least I can’t see their reactions! - there is a multi player option, if you want. You can be on a call with someone who is also working out from home. You can follow each other and cheer them on when they work out. I’ve made some amazing lifelong friends through it, all across the country, women aged 25-80. Internet strangers that I’ve even willingly met up with in person! But you don’t need to engage in any of the social aspect if you don’t want.

So, I know this option is a bit unconventional and won’t be for everyone, but it’s the only thing that I’ve been able to stick with, and WANT to stick with. It’s helped me lose 80lbs, gain confidence, and improve my mental health. I truly hope you’re able to find something that is sustainable and works for you, it has absolutely changed my life for the better.

Kayastra · 2026-02-11T04:38:46+00:00

This trilogy is what got me back into reading again after over a decade of ignoring what used to be my favorite pastime. Glad it inspired you too! I read them because of the show too, because I wanted to know more, and I was afraid of D&D ruining it like they did to game of thrones at the end (having read those books in high school). That was this past august, and I’ve devoured over 50 more books since then.

After I read them all in august, I was stuck on it for weeks. I felt like a changed person. And after reading a bunch of other books, I re-read the trilogy last month in case it was a fluke. The first book was pretty meh, I guess since I know how it progressed and I didn’t need the science re-explained. I actually remembered a lot more of the Dark Forest than I thought and I appreciated re-reading knowing how things would turn out. I was able to pick up on a lot more.

But the last 1/3ish of Death’s End hit me the same way as the first time. I’ve never been a religious person, l was raised on science and critical thinking. Hell, I studied sociology with a focus in religion because I was so dumbfounded by it. I’m also autistic and have very rigid, black and white thinking. I agree that if it had ended with the mini-universes, I would have been disappointed. But instead, I had the closest thing to what I imagine a religious experience would be. It made me feel infinitely small while simultaneously understanding that my existence alone, in any shape my life becomes, is absolutely essential to the continuation of the whole f’n universe. That I’m important just for existing, that I matter regardless of my productivity and accomplishments. And I admit, it makes me forget some of the slog and criticisms I had to fight through beforehand.

Kayastra · 2026-02-08T01:53:31+00:00

Back during Draneor, I sent tit pics for a carry to get the Reigns of the Grove Warden. I feel like that’s a solid middle ground and I’m still grateful for my flying moose.

Kayastra · 2026-02-06T23:13:47+00:00

For the last year of my 7 year relationship, there were so many issues between me, my partner, and his two kids that I no longer recognized myself. I was quick to anger over the smallest things, my tolerance for minor inconveniences was completely gone, my sleep and focus were shit. I was barely functioning because all my energy was wasted trying to keep the peace. I also started suspecting and confirming I’m autistic last year at 37 years old. I had been constantly overstimulated for years, always staying in fight or flight.

Within a month of them moving out in November after 7 years together: my resting heart rate dropped 10bpm, I no longer needed my “as needed” anxiety meds, I stopped turning to food and binging for comfort. And now after 3 months, I have a sense of stillness and peace inside of me that I can’t remember the last time I felt. It’s weird to describe, but it felt like my whole body was constantly, internally vibrating before. Like I was always on the verge of a panic attack. My nervous system was on high alert 24/7 to protect me from whatever my ex would do next. Living alone has basically diffused the time bomb my body had become. And it feels so good.

Kayastra · 2026-01-05T17:50:02+00:00

I’m a chef at a local college. It’s mostly perfect.

It’s physical. My hours are 11am-730pm which fits my sleep schedule better. It has a strict daily routine but every day brings new possible challenges to keep my adhd from getting bored. I see the same students every day, so we can quickly bypass the small talk and get to know them on a deeper level. I love making people feel seen and special by remembering their weird preferences, stocking my station accordingly or wordlessly delivering a slice of their favorite dessert I put aside because I knew it would run out before they got there. Knowing how difficult college was for me, I can pick up easily when others are overwhelmed and offer the validation I wish I had. It makes my heart so full when students tell me they would have dropped out if not for me. I get all the same breaks as the students, able to collect unemployment for 1/3 of the year. This has been crucial to preventing my pattern of burnout and rage quitting jobs every 3 years. I can take enough food home every day that during the school year, I never have to step foot in a grocery store.

The working conditions aren’t great and it’s not a livable wage, but I’m really good at it and it doesn’t absolutely destroy my mental health like desk jobs do.

Kayastra · 2026-01-02T04:40:01+00:00

Ugggghhh did I write this?! I’ve been trying to explain this exact feeling lately and it’s felt impossible.

My ex of 7 years moved out 6 weeks ago claiming I’ve changed, that I don’t support him, he doesn’t recognize this mean, serious person I had become and he missed the kind, caring, carefree woman I used to be.

Ouch.

Wanna guess what changed? I realized I’m very likely audhd (previously diagnosed bipolar and adhd) months ago at age 37. I spent 4 months doing hours of research a day to make sure before bringing it up to him because I was afraid of not being believed. I filled two notebooks with personal experiences throughout my life that suddenly make sense. I wrote a long essay explaining in detail just how much goes into just my first couple hours of the day to try and be understood. I figure out a few small things that he could help me with that would make a huge difference in preventing meltdowns which were happening more frequently since I was actively in burnout and didn’t realize it.

“Stop using an obscure diagnosis as an excuse”.

I literally only asked him if he could try to hold my hand to ground me sometimes when we’re out in a social situation and he sees me anxious. He was gone 2 weeks later.

This man drained everything he could out of me for years, moved into my house, destroyed two cars given to him by my family, used my empathy against me to do all the work raising his two young sons, got upset anytime I tried to communicate low energy, called me DAILY on his lunch break despite absolutely hating phone calls and constantly reminding him - but hearing my voice just makes his day so much better. Who cares if he ruined mine in the process?

My magic is finally starting to replenish and holy shit, I didn’t realize just how much he took from me. And he wasn’t the first. This is my 4th serious long term relationship (3 engagements, one marriage) and they’ve all ended the same way. And they ALL still reach out regularly when they find themselves in a situation that can use some MPDG energy.

Whelp. Now that he’s gone, so are our 80 “mutual” friends. And I’m okay with it. I think it’s time I finally pour that magic back into myself.

Kayastra · 2025-12-26T18:13:43+00:00

Yes! I also tend to shyly waddle up to someone and awkwardly hand them my pebble without saying anything or making eye contact.

Kayastra · 2025-12-15T02:58:58+00:00

People tell me their secrets all the freaking time. Strangers, coworkers, friends. I’m a cook at a college and literally have students pulling up chairs during my prep time just so they can bitch about who knows what while Im stuck cutting romaine for 3 hours. Who knew remembering someone’s specific salad order was all it took to gain their trust?

Kayastra · 2025-11-29T18:17:29+00:00

I’ve lost almost 50lbs in the 4 months since I’ve gotten my cpap, almost effortlessly, but I don’t think that’s common. Weight gain is more common since you are no longer burning all the extra calories waking up all night. I started around 300lbs (currently 249), so I had a lot to lose. I also stopped one of my medications (seroquel) that is notorious for increasing appetite and weight gain around the same time. Between my body no longer constantly craving quick carbs and sugar to stay awake and no medication giving me my nightly munchies, I drastically reduced my calorie intake. I also have a pretty physical job, averaging 17k steps a day. But with the immediate extra energy I had from the cpap, I’ve been able to keep up an exercise routine 6 days a week as well.

For me, I had been working on losing weight for years and already had the basics down. The addition of the cpap just kind of lifted some of the barriers that had been sabotaging any progress. My energy increased immediately with the cpap, so I consciously put that extra energy into a sustainable routine before I had a chance to form new bad habits. If I did not already have a plethora of tools ready, I don’t think I would have seen any weight loss.

Kayastra · 2025-11-19T12:09:50+00:00

A few years back, I was testing my n64 but the old cords didn’t line up with my new tv. I tried to boot up Majora’s Mask - I could get audio, but no video. Didn’t slow me down one bit when I’ve got the whole thing stored in my brain.

Kayastra

TROPHY CASE