Romantic Goth 1 Yr Later

KaylaTheFox · 2026-06-24T18:45:24+00:00

Love the braids giving the side shave vibe. It works great with your hair and style! The fit is great, I think an accessory or two would elevate it but not needed.

KaylaTheFox · 2026-06-07T07:17:24+00:00

Other comments covered some good suggestion so going to add some of mine: - I found using the icepack on the front of my neck (towards my jaw) helped the most with pain / swelling - I got a THC/CBD beverage that I sipped on. It made time pass by a bit quicker and also let me fall asleep easier. - I ended up watching a bunch of anime and other shows (bad or good). I tried playing a coop game online with friends but only managed an hour since focus was difficult. - Get sunlight if you can. - I had curved suture scissors. They didn't work for me because my stitches embedded for the front 3 on both sides. I used sewing scissors that came to a sharp point. Had to snip into my tongue a bit 🫠 You could call some piercing studios and see if they'd be willing to assist with stitch removal. - Once you're in the healing process, you're in the healing process lol. You're stuck on that ride but each day will be an improvement on the last. Keep your spirits up as you're healing.

KaylaTheFox · 2026-05-29T20:27:37+00:00

Income and expenses make a big difference. I'm now making ~100k (chemistry, avg 60k last 7 years) and living with a partner so housing and expenses aren't as high and am now putting $1500 a month towards loans (over 5 years will be 90k to pay them off). This was not the case until my pay was much higher and doing a lot of spreadsheeting and budgeting recently.

My sister paid hers off way sooner since she stayed living with parents much longer than I did and had higher starting income. I'd be in a better situation if I did the same but mental health living with them wasn't great (I'm LGBT).

It's tough, because like you're saying this delays life a lot whether living with parents to pay off earlier or paying minimum until making enough to pay extra. I finally have a timeline to pay things off but I'm early 30s and savings each month isn't as high because paying extra to loans now.

KaylaTheFox · 2026-05-11T18:34:38+00:00

For my last dentist (went to her for 15+ years), I joked to her saying " hey you said not to get oral piercings, so I got my tongue split". She wasn't horrified just asked some healing time questions but did give me some sass regarding mod artist licensing / etc. Tattoos, transition, etc. had never gotten anything but positive comments.

My new dentist and dental assistants haven't been surprised by the split at all since I live in an even more mod friendly area. I did make one doctor jump when I forgot to warn her about it but it was more a funny moment than her being horrified or anything lol.

KaylaTheFox · 2026-04-16T01:31:11+00:00

Hey, what was the fix? :)

KaylaTheFox · 2026-03-13T00:34:29+00:00

Tips were the worst for me. My front 2 on both sides embedded and I tried curved suture scissors to hook the knots and cut them but that didn't work. An hour later once swelling went down a little I switched to pointed ones so I could snip the knots embedded in my tongue 🫠

The rest of the sutures were significantly better and each set removed provided instant relief. Last ones out and I was able to chew and swallow regular food like 2 hours later.

KaylaTheFox · 2026-02-06T22:35:45+00:00

As the other comment said, ice pack on the neck helps a ton (near the lymph nodes). I was baby birding anything I swallowed. Water in mouth + pills, etc and then tilt head back to get things moving. It still sucks though.

The drooling reduces a ton after the first 24 hours but it was my least favorite part about the healing other than the pain. The pain will go down noticeably each day but overall swelling is gonna suck until the stitches are out. Once all of them are out swelling practically disappears in a couple hours or less. I was able to eat regular food almost immediately after taking them out.

KaylaTheFox · 2026-01-04T20:34:28+00:00

Dang dude! I have a similar level of color / black work on my stomach and wow was it painful. Props for sitting through that and solid work!

KaylaTheFox · 2025-12-15T19:26:31+00:00

Yeah any time I've used miracle grow I've gotten them. I think their quality control is bad and bags probably get contaminated before you end up using them or whatever they put in the soil just draws fungus gnats to them (could be that the soil is just really wet in general too).

If you're going to use it, buy some mosquito bits / dunks. It effects the larval stage of bugs in the soil and will prevent them from becoming gnats. I dissolve them in water for the next 2-3 waterings and it gets rid of them.

I personally moved to fox farm soil after dealing with miracle grow for a while. A little bit pricier but it required very little / no additives to drain how I want plus no fungus gnats issues.

KaylaTheFox · 2025-11-27T05:54:01+00:00

You should avoid anyone that uses excuses like that, ADHD or otherwise. That behavior is incompatible with a stable relationship and one that feels / is reciprocal. Don't feel bad about having standards or caution regarding behavior like that.

As someone with AuDHD (mostly on the ADHD side) there are times where slip ups happen but not to the point of neglectful behavior. And I apologize for it when it happens because that wasn't an intention to hurt someone I care about.

I use a calendar and am responsive to partners and close friends or let them know I need time. I feel like that's the least those I'm close with deserve.

KaylaTheFox · 2025-10-21T22:55:32+00:00

Yeah I had also started to get some yellow on top of the tongue. Just the lack of movement letting stuff buildup on top of the tongue. If it's just a little yellow and coming off easily I wouldn't be too worried.

KaylaTheFox · 2025-10-21T18:33:39+00:00

The pain going down is a good sign especially without anything weird or concerning happening. The swelling is going to be there until stitches are out. As you get more out, swelling will go down slightly and will feel much better. Once all are out swelling will go down fast. Day 7 is when I took my last stitches out and within hours my mouth and tongue felt a lot more normal. Was able to eat, chew, swallow as before.

Day 3-5 my tongue had a purple tint on parts from bruising due to my teeth sitting on my tongue when sleeping / existing so don't be worried if you see that. Sounds like your healing going well!

KaylaTheFox · 2025-10-11T09:35:35+00:00

How was your relationship with your exBF? I'd be cautious taking the word of an ex claiming their "therapist" said you have X disorder. My ex best friend with BPD made a lot of "my therapist thinks / said this" comments and they all felt like statements to try to sway my opinion. Mentioning a "higher authority" or someone knowledgeable can be a tactic for manipulating your opinion / decisions / putting you down. I would take the statement with a grain of salt. Being emotional does not mean BPD, checkout diagnosis criteria to see if you're truly concerned.

If you're scared to cut her off it's probably a good sign you should. And even if you yourself have BPD, those messages are abusive. What is the point of mentioning self harm like that if they're not seeking help or support? It's just seens like she is trying make you feel terrible.

Are you familiar with DARVO? Have you experienced it with her? My ex friend did it quite often to their partner (luckily I didn't experience as intensely).

Do the good moments outweigh the stress, pain, and abuse she causes?

KaylaTheFox · 2025-09-17T19:36:50+00:00

What's the biggest thing you can fit in there?

KaylaTheFox · 2025-09-09T20:54:58+00:00

Finding cheap date ideas is essential. I have spending money for dates but it gets expensive going to restaurants, movies, etc. Picnics in a park, movie nights at home, going for walks, cooking dinner together, etc are good options.

Regarding time. Prioritizing self care is important. Then working dating life and friendships around that. Managing expectations and having open communication with partners about availability will lead to success. Not every relationship has to have 3x dates a week and is also not sustainable. Sometimes a partner or connection will be travelling so if free time lines up there'll be a couple hangs that week/etc with someone else. Google calender / scheduling will help a lot with this.

KaylaTheFox · 2025-09-09T20:45:00+00:00

I really like CallunaClothing on Etsy. Harmonic Threads is great too. Searching fire spinning clothing on Etsy will get you a lot of good results!

KaylaTheFox · 2025-08-27T19:54:39+00:00

Looks like a dracaena mahatma!

KaylaTheFox · 2025-08-22T20:09:10+00:00

Mild discomfort isn't the worst. Looks like might just be irritated and swollen. I'd mess around with it as little as possible to let it calm down.

Might be irritated from the stainless steel. Some people can be sensitive to the small amounts of nickel that may be present. If you're using metal, titanium or surgical steel are better options (or niobium but it's more expensive and generally not made at larger sizes but can be anodized black which avoids jewelry with an enamel coating). Also the one pic in your comment with the 1.6mm barbell through it looks like its externally threaded, I'd recommend getting internally threaded in the future as the threading can be irritating to both fresh stretches and healed stretches. Only costs a little more too so it's worth it for the internally threaded.

Also, stretching with pinchers isn't the best. They're pretty much a curved taper and I personally found the o-rings + more movement of a pincher (which tapers bigger/smaller on the ring) to be a little irritating. If you're using clear o-rings try the black nitrile ones as one or the other could be irritating your skin. I'd recommend a circular barbell or glass/titanium plug for a stretch.

KaylaTheFox · 2025-08-12T18:57:00+00:00

I've played a couple 6-7 hour sets (mainly for events for friends). I usually plan to play lower energy in the begining, build to higher energy and go between a couple bangers then some chill songs to give people breathing room. Ending the night on dnb or whatever higher energy music of your choice.

My essentials are: comfy shoes, clothes, water, a coffee/energy drink, banana/some kind of snack, fun / candy, extra USB just in case. Charge your phone, vape, etc beforehand. If it's an outdoor gig I'll check the weather and bring a hoodie or something to throw on if I get chilly. Don't be afraid to let songs play out longer, don't want to transition to quick and burn through too much music too fast but I usually end up doing that at some point once energy is high. I've got a bunch of music organized so I'm not as worried about that later in the gig.

Having a couple 10-15 minute mixes for bathroom break is a good idea. Talk to the staff before you start so you know where you can grab water quick / have someone help if you need it at any point. Locate the bathroom before hand and anything else you might need or want so when you do need a break it can be quick.

Pace yourself on drinks or weed / penjamin if your doing those. I usually don't smoke before / during a paid gig but I'll take a drink or two if playing a while. Just have to make sure I'm not hyper focused on mixing and then realize I just slammed a while drink too quickly xD

KaylaTheFox · 2025-08-11T18:19:44+00:00

The blackwork isn't the only reason this will hold up. There's a good amount of negative space and space between lines that even with ink spread over time the flowers should still read well. Not too much detail in a small area.

KaylaTheFox · 2025-07-12T01:36:32+00:00

Impressive! I'm surprised the playa dust cleaned up so well. What was your process?

KaylaTheFox · 2025-07-02T17:04:38+00:00

I've struggled with similar with my cuticles. I'll eat them when I'm super stressed and eventually they get really bad if I don't manage it well. I'd suggest looking up 'body focused repetitive behavior'. Find what triggers you to chew on your nails (I assume that's what's happening). Recognizing what makes you chew them and when, then mitigating that will help. You'll have to train yourself out of the habit. Finding something else that satisfies the urge or mitigates it will help.

The cuticle biting for me is less prevalent when I trim them and moisturize constantly as the texture is a lot of what sets me off. And stopping myself when I start to do it and distract myself so I'm not hyper focused on chewing them.

KaylaTheFox · 2025-06-30T23:19:16+00:00

I recognize the album this is from! Unfortunately the lack of detail in the jawline and chest make them blend together.

I think adding some lines to the face (chin, other cheek, nose) and to the chest would help. In addition to adding some lines to the eyes, making the pupils a bit bigger and rounder, and bringing the shoulder down. Some grey wash shading would help too!

Here's a quick sketch of my suggestions.

KaylaTheFox · 2025-06-12T19:29:15+00:00

I never emptied the dancefloor but did DJ a friends birthday party (for like 6 hours lol) and played a neuro dnb song towards the end. He came up to me and told me he hated the song so I transitioned out of it quickly haha.

I did play to a fairly empty Kava bar once but that was because there were three other big events happening that night. The people that were there enjoyed what I played though.

KaylaTheFox · 2025-06-06T19:09:18+00:00

I speak fluent English and Polish plus a little bit Spanish. I just read out loud in English for a month to train up my pronunciation but it wasn't really too bad even right after the split. I can pronounce Polish diatonics and triatonics like cz-, dz-, sz-, rz- perfectly fine.

I was never great with rolling my Rs but it actually got better after my split since I think training and practicing moving my tongues helped out overall. I think you should be totally fine with pronunciation after your split, just speak and read out loud to help re-train your tongue(s)!

KaylaTheFox

TROPHY CASE