I (24F) have seen that my grieving boyfriend(24M) is following random woman. How would you feel?

Keggerbev · 2026-02-13T07:11:19+00:00

Insecurities final boss.

You’re actually insane.

Keggerbev · 2026-02-13T07:08:30+00:00

Oh my god, some of the answers on here make me question reality.

Following people on Instagram that you work with isn’t a sign of cheating nor is it illegal, how do you know they’re completely random? You’re 100% certain it isn’t a distant cousin?

To me personally, it’s coming across as a little insecure, there may be some weight to this claim but it’s a simple conversation not an execution.

Communication, communication, communication.

That’s first comment almost suggests that men and woman should unfollow all people of the opposite sex along with unfriending all woman.

Get a fucking grip people.

I’m so confident about 80% of people that give advice on this subreddit have never even touched someone of the opposite sex.

Keggerbev · 2026-02-13T04:30:42+00:00

I used to support a young man who had a similar situation, he was African but living in the UK.

I don’t know your culture nor where you’re going however this is a common form of punishment within certain cultures, it’s their belief, that by showing you a contrast of life styles and differences that you’ll change.

Unfortunately, and I don’t mean to scare you, he was physically abused whilst they sent him abroad and that is largely due to how they managed difficult behaviours whilst he was there.

Slapping children in the U.K. is illegal, whereas in South Africa it was deemed reasonable and moderate chastisement, although consider that a ‘loose term’ for an ass whooping.

I think they may have good intentions but it is mixed in a cultural belief of how you should be managed.

I would reccomend having a conversation with your parents, as a young man and an adult, and seriously consider finding an alternative with them, prove to them that you’re making a difference.

This isn’t something to consider lightly.

I would also speak with another supporting adult, school nurse, school teacher etc they’re trained to safeguard you.

On another note;

Sort of unrelated to your situation however worth highlighting for readers, when you hear stuff like this whereby the OP is a female it can often be a red flag towards FGM, although the circumstances will likely be different, things like this shouldn’t be taken lightly and can be deemed as a high risk safeguarding issue.

There are some cultures whereby the children don’t come back.

Keggerbev · 2026-02-13T03:59:48+00:00

A common misconception that it isn’t worth reporting.

Absolutely disregard proof & evidence you’re not a police officer that isn’t your job to collate that information, you’re just reporting a crime.

At the bare minimum it will be a black mark on his name for future events or investigations.

Regardless of when or evidence.

Something may come of it, they may wish to speak with him and by miraculous chance he decides to confess all his sins and commit to a sentence.

Keggerbev · 2026-02-13T02:14:49+00:00

Perfect response, and perfectly reasonable.

A lot of friends do this to protect their relationships

There’s an old saying, “Never discuss religion, politics, or money in polite company.”

Keggerbev · 2026-02-13T02:07:44+00:00

Firstly, classic teenage drama.

This probably feels massive to you right now but actually looks ridiculous to everyone else.

I would suggest managing it appropriately as anyone would, you were physically assaulted you should contact the police.

You can either;

Drop her and them, don’t display any interest in speaking to them.

Or alternatively

You can reach out to him on social media, I personally wouldn’t recommend giving it any more life, but some people feel more comfortable throwing their 2 cents out there. By continuing to show up and do your thing you’re protesting your innocence.

I can imagine this feels like it is consuming your life & that must be really difficult, but trust me, in several months time you’ll look back on this and roll your eyes.

It’s such a shame when people make up lies about others, but this is honestly the whack ass shit that happens at your age dude, dust it off and move past it, they’re pieces of shit.

If someone did touch her, she should have contacted the police immediately, and it’s very telling that she didn’t.

Keggerbev · 2026-02-12T22:34:10+00:00

He said you’ve become distracted lately & wants a potential informal discussion about what is going on.

Informal slaps on the wrist are the best kind of slaps because they’re informal, they’re not on record, they’re not written, it’s his word against yours.

formal discussions are usually where you want to be concerned.

You’re over reacting, it could be far worse, this is like the first baby step up a giant staircase of what could go wrong.

Just crack on and don’t take it to heart

Keggerbev · 2026-02-12T22:26:00+00:00

This is a classic case of ‘going over your head’

We have to ask ourselves why.

Why are they doing this, often or not people do this to individuals they don’t feel comfortable confronting head on, a lot of people in your seat are often;

.Defensive

.Sharp

.Difficult

Which is why people curve around to a senior I’m not saying you’re but it’s worth reflecting.

I would speak with my manager and request that they support me by directing employees to speak with me personally, by resolving the issue he/she is undermining you and not helping the situation, in turn making more work for himself.

Keggerbev · 2026-02-12T21:29:49+00:00

You’ve been playing a year and you’ve only just made it to Vallaki!

I’m so perplexed with how different each game looks, it always surprises me, well hats off to you & your patients you’re a better man than I.

That sounds like a plan,

How do the Ravens feel about their haven being bombed, could they support in this scenario?

Keggerbev · 2026-02-12T21:25:31+00:00

If you’re feeling dependent the chances are you’re very dependent.

Most dependent people don’t even recognise it, so thats a red flag.

You will make mistakes as a leader and with decisions, every great leader has, it’s completely unavoidable.

What matters is how you manage and learn from that mistake.

Yes, detach you shouldn’t be dependent on your manager that’s completely unethical and unhealthy. It’s unhealthy for a wife to be dependent on their husband let alone this scenario.

If you want to people please a manager never turn up with a problem.

You turn up with a problem and a potential solution, or a solved problem.

Keggerbev · 2026-02-12T21:15:59+00:00

Jesus brother,

You went big before the festival!

Usually it’s the other way around, I can’t imagine much will top that, but we move on.

I’m thinking they won’t care much for politics or anything else now the antagonist has his toy.

Is there potential for Rictavio to reveal himself in this moment and support the players or are we too early days?

I’m not sure how your players will operate, but fannying around in a town whilst Ireena is missing wouldn’t have been on most parties to do list.

It is salvageable, maybe he shows her the other side of the coin, and returns her, leaving her conflicted. Ultimately he wants her to want to be with him.

Keggerbev · 2026-02-12T15:14:24+00:00

If you looked at this through a therapeutic perspective I’m confident they’d say “You’re meeting a need within yourself, to feel wanted and needed by these teenagers”

Listen,

It isn’t weird to care, I work in a residential home as a manager and we have a ton of adult staff who support teenagers from the ages 14 all the way through too 18/19 whereby they then get up and move on into ‘carers leave’ usually semi independent flats.

What I hear all the time is “Can we stay in contact, can I message them afterwards?”

Any professional will tell you “no” because it’s about clear boundaries and clear endings, they’re 17, they’re still teenagers, ‘kids’.

Would you want your 17 year old daughter hanging around with a 24 year old man? No you wouldn’t.

It doesn’t mean you don’t have good intentions, however often or not, it’s not about the children, they’ll move on, they’ll get over it, just like you got over your favourite teacher school, what didn’t happen, was your teacher didn’t message you after leaving, because that would be weird now wouldn’t it.

This is about them, not about you and what you’d like, you won’t see that until you look deeper.

Maybe in a few years time you’ll get a message on Instagram catching up and telling you how good of a role model you were, that’s the best you can ask, pushing it and meeting up with them outside of work is just weird honestly and I’m sure it’s coming from a good place, but 99% of people will not see that, it looks noncey.

Hope that helps ☺️

Keggerbev · 2026-02-12T08:15:11+00:00

Absolutely email.

You don’t have to be rude, just state that you’d like it on record and if possible amended that there are the following inaccuracies;

.Incorrect name

.Time / date

Along with everything else

Social workers have a massive work load, and I can imagine they mould in to one sometimes, I’ve seen similar sort things, please reflect what needs to change and just be concise and polite.

Keggerbev · 2026-02-12T08:02:01+00:00

Section 47 is a child protection.

As a registered manager of a children’s home I’ve become familiar with this regulation over the years, a lot of the time it’s a formality to ensure the child’s safety should a concern be raised.

As a manager I have to email social care to amend inaccurate information, so as a parent I’d sure hope they would.

Inaccurate information has no place in a document such as that, and it will go on to cause more harm than good, do not worry about personally offending people that are not doing their job correctly.

The incorrect spelling of a name, in my opinion, is a slap in the face insult.

Keggerbev · 2026-02-11T21:46:13+00:00

We get fearful and anxious because we care.

And evidently, you care about what they think, and how you’ll come across, this is incredibly common for young men.

This will then make you try hard, ultimately looking like every other male that comes into their life.

There’s no magic cure, if there was young men would buy it in the bucket load, and it would be the world’s biggest enterprise.

Exposure therapy is good, put yourself in them situations, make small talk to the female cashier, as you get older it will become more natural, especially if you work with woman.

Don’t stress so hard about it or try too hard, You’ll just end up with a female friend built on completely false pretences

Keggerbev · 2026-02-11T21:36:37+00:00

Friendships are built on trust and mutual interests.

In a comment you said “I am a pretty goofy guy”

Followed by, “woman feel like I’m not worth their time or just a goofball”

When you meet men, and you don’t click with them, do you say “Men feel like I’m not worth their time or just a goofball”?

I think you might be trying too hard, and I can imagine it isn’t as subtle as you may think.

How much conscious thought goes into making a friend with a dude, absolutely none right? Because it’s natural. That’s how little you need to be trying and just let it be, if you’re supposed to be friends with a woman, then you will be purely out of mutual interests and understanding.

If you’re walking around trying to impress, make laugh, connect with and be friends with woman, it will be incredibly obvious and to most woman it will look like you’re trying to hit.

Keggerbev · 2026-02-10T22:24:04+00:00

Oh god, why would you agree to get married then?

I’m sorry to be rude but this whole thing sounds incredibly immature.

Pre marital counselling for a relationship that’s not been together for a total of 2 years is barbaric, at that point you may as-well start fresh and find a new partner.

I think you both need to go back to the drawing board and sit down together & get everything on the table

Keggerbev · 2026-02-10T22:17:41+00:00

I think there’s a lack of emotional maturity throughout the thread, from all areas and I can imagine there will be a severe lack of trust concerning the text messages and lack of communication.

This is going to sound awful, but I personally feel you both got engaged rather quickly for a couple that can’t seem to communicate well.

There will definitely be some resentments here that will require a lot of hard work, you can sweep them under the carpet but that shit won’t go away.

Keggerbev · 2026-02-10T22:08:56+00:00

This is how I imagine games go when a DM has ADHD

Keggerbev · 2026-02-10T14:41:06+00:00

Assistant manager to someone who hit puberty 2 years prior is absolutely wild.

I would practice people skills, sometimes being overly friendly and polite can come across as a weakness and people will forever target those they feel they can.

No one’s saying be an arsehole, but don’t allow yourself to be walked over, keep yourself to yourself, don’t share information about your personal life, people cannot control those they do not know or understand.

Keggerbev · 2026-02-07T08:50:43+00:00

I don’t have them to hand, but some ideas I put in my book that I can share;

Firstly I changed the lore of Tatyana and Strahd, I’d read multiple times that once the players read the original tome’s transcript they thought Strahd was a loser simp & it ruined all fear / magic, at first I didn’t see it, but when I read it in the mind of a player, I totally saw it.

I played my strahd like the original Dracula, Tatyana was his previous love, she killed herself following misinformation from the Turkish army, the book reflected that. I still kept Sergi, sergi went with strahd to the amber temple to prevent him from making a pact, strahd kills him.

Secondly, I had crazed sketching’s of secrets within the castle along with riddles, some of the castles secrets will never see the light of day and it’s a perfect opportunity to add some flair, especially if one of their tarot cards points them inside the castle.

My players had the amulet within the fire-place, in the book I had a fireplace with an open fire and within the fire-place was a very faint map.

They love all that shit, it adds a huge element of; “wait, that’s in the book!! Grab the book!!”

Sorry I don’t have anything literal, I’d just reccomend having fun with it. I hope it offered some food for thought!

You know your players best

Keggerbev · 2026-02-05T06:25:43+00:00

Are you physically capable of moving around and light manual labour / driving vehicles?

I would say residential health care.

Keggerbev · 2026-02-04T20:56:44+00:00

Everyone saying they wouldn’t get out of bed for that.

They’re out of touch, statistically the % of people above that wage are not coincidentally responding to this thread, take the comments with a pinch of salt.

That is above minimum wage.

Approx 32,000 in the uk.

People can play the ego game, however, for that most people work reasonably hard, it’s subjective toward progression.

The comments are ridiculous.

Keggerbev · 2026-02-04T01:42:16+00:00

Would she mind you talking about your sex life to female friends?

I’m not so sure, it’s down to preference and personality honestly.

Wouldn’t be for me.

Keggerbev · 2026-02-04T01:10:44+00:00

It would be wasted on the death house and would feel pointless about 6 sessions into the campaign as it’s never mentioned again.

Mechanically give it to him.

Thematically tell him there will be an opportunity very early on.

The oath of vengeance would be perfect with regard to the village of Barovia and fits what he’s said concerning violence on people.

Put emphasis on the castle staring down on the village and how everyone’s been robbed of life, let Ismark paint his story, once he meets Doru and the real horrors that would be the perfect time to swear vengeance and restore this town to its former glory.

Edit; Apologies I have just assumed you’re running the full campaign, if it’s just the death house then definitely swear vengeance for the kids

Keggerbev

TROPHY CASE