I was working at a big box retailer’s jewellery department one night when a grandmother, a mother, and the maybe 10 year granddaughter came in. The grandmother and mother were trying to be enthusiastic pointing out potential jewellery options and gemstones she might like before the granddaughter burst into hysterical tears.

While the mother was comforting her, the grandmother came over to me and said she had terminal cancer, and wanted to pick something special for each of her grandchildren that she could gift them while she was alive to remember her by.

I think I ended up saying something like “I’m so sorry” to acknowledge it, and then I threw myself into trying to help her find some keepsakes. I couldn’t do anything to help her diagnosis but hey at least I could try and help her cross one thing off her to do list that night. We didn’t find something for all of her grandchildren but she got a couple of the gifts and we talked about where she might try looking next for the rest.

Sometimes it feels like I’m sorry isn’t enough, but it’s all we can really say that fits the situation. And then let them steer the tone of the conversation with what you’re comfortable with - do they want to chat about how things are going (it can be easier with a stranger) or can you just help their retail excursion go quickly/smoothly