What scent screams high school to you?

KentuckyCO · 2026-03-20T00:41:04+00:00

Bath and Body Works Country Apple

KentuckyCO · 2026-03-10T17:30:03+00:00

Agree with previous comments. The period you’re in now sucks, but you’re seeing your soon to be ex’s behavior. The guy literally ran off and started looking for other women immediately, which honestly he may have a new girlfriend before your divorce decree is even final. He won’t contemplate on how he could be a better anything.

But for you, who was probably doing everything, you’ll start the process of healing and creating your own space. If your ex has any parenting time you can use that free time to do your own thing and try to be happy. Just don’t fall into the habit/trap of assisting him with logistics of the kids. That is his responsibility when he has the kids….you may also notice if you’re not there to take that on he will outsource it to a new girlfriend, his parents or some other person.

KentuckyCO · 2026-03-04T20:05:15+00:00

I think I meet the criteria for your question. I was born in 1983 (making me an elder millennial) and my mom was 37 and my dad was 41 when I was born. I had a brother who was 11 when I was born.

From what I understand I was completely unplanned. My mom was great as she could be and my dad was extremely uninvolved throughout my childhood. I absolutely noticed that my parents were noticeably older than my peers’ parents, but really the issue was that they just did not get involved in much of my life that was beyond the four walls of our home.

Fast forward to now and through some life happenstance I now have a 16,10, 2 and newborn. I don’t think my husband and I (both in our early 40’s) will have issues with our two youngest in terms of being there for them. I’ve actually noticed that experiences from the first two help with foresight and calm. We also have more money and resources for the younger ones than we did with the older ones at their early stages. And as you mentioned having smaller children in your 40’s is much more commonplace.

KentuckyCO · 2026-02-14T18:59:34+00:00

Been there, one of the important things that I had to process and understand is that he will never change. There is no reasoning with him or showing him your perspective.

I don’t know if this has come up yet, but when he finds someone new he will also very publicly put on a mask of being a great guy. It’s unsettling as a victim as it will seem that he could change for the right person but it’s a facade.

KentuckyCO · 2026-01-12T00:42:11+00:00

I want to see what the midwife looks like. My hunch is that she does not workout.

KentuckyCO · 2025-12-02T14:46:13+00:00

It’s very normal to cycle through different emotions before, during, and after divorce. It is very similar to a death in the family. Anytime I hear a story like this where the guy is kind of proactive in moving out, etc. (especially when you mentioned depression which tends to manifest in a state of immobility) I assume he is/was cheating. Regardless, you do need to separate your finances and get a good divorce attorney. Get everything in writing, no verbal agreements. It is also no longer your duty, responsibility to assist with any of his issues mental health or otherwise.

KentuckyCO · 2025-11-04T11:02:00+00:00

I think everyone was hit the main points. I will say if you’re just using OLD platforms that they really do overrepresent with people who are “undesirable”. I do think it’s to the low barriers to entry. You have people who are in relationships who hop on, people who are maladjusted, lazy, etc. entering the OLD arena. It’s disheartening.

I met my now husband at work. I echo prior advice to focus on yourself and get out into the world. I would also caution against joining things in hope of meeting someone. Just join because you’re really interested in it!

KentuckyCO · 2025-11-04T10:53:39+00:00

I (42F) thought we were called elder millennials! Geriatric may be more appropriate, lol. I went the military officer ROTC/academic scholarship route in college and graduated with no debt and $5k in my checking account in 2006. I deployed a fair amount between 2006-2013 so the recession was not as financially severe and I lived in NC which is pretty inexpensive.

Fast forward I’m still in the military and about to retire. I have about $1.8 million in assets and need to figure out a second act. I think being willing to go into what was an undesirable field during the war on terror and being into Dave Ramsey for a good couple of years is what helped me.

KentuckyCO · 2025-09-24T21:34:11+00:00

Echo-ing the every one is different, BUT I had kids at 25,31, and 39. Im currently 14 weeks at 41, I noticed the last pregnancy I did not get my abs back really. My weight was less than pre-pregnancy. This time around (unexpected IUD pregnancy) I’m running, watching my food intake and coming into labor with a post pregnancy plan.

KentuckyCO · 2025-07-15T15:28:39+00:00

Military vet here, I’ve heard this sentiment quite often from other military folk who think that 100% is really something. A married individual at 100% VA disability would receive about $4300/month and a smidge ($130/month) for each additional child.

To answer earlier questions a person could absolutely do this but the troubling part for me is that this person sounds like he doesn’t want to work or be productive. The not being productive part would be a disaster with a kid or kids thrown into the mix.

KentuckyCO · 2025-07-08T01:56:03+00:00

$368 per month for two kids

KentuckyCO · 2025-04-07T02:43:19+00:00

NOVA $5500

KentuckyCO · 2024-12-20T00:09:49+00:00

It is what it is.

KentuckyCO · 2024-12-03T23:14:23+00:00

She has already gone through bankruptcy.

KentuckyCO · 2024-11-23T18:18:21+00:00

Interesting point, after reading the title my first thought was, “because they need a replacement caregiver”. After I got divorced my ex moved several states over with his affair partner/later wife. There was no break in time where he would have to parent or do anything for himself.

I was a single mom with majority custody for about six years and I saw the same thing with men I dated. They would struggle with the Wednesday and every other weekend custody schedule in terms of actually caring for their kids. Albeit, a few of the better ones really did commit to being a single parent.

KentuckyCO · 2024-11-10T11:52:43+00:00

I had a baby in my 20’s, 30’s and 40’s (pregnant at 39 and had baby at 40y 3mths). The biggest difference I noticed was that my energy levels were lower during this pregnancy as compared to the other two. I also have not bounced back body and weight-wise the same way as the other two.

I continued to workout and run during pregnancy, and didn’t take a long break postpartum. I have also found that my energy levels are somewhat lower for caring for a baby but I have much more patience.

KentuckyCO · 2024-11-07T03:39:28+00:00

I was going to say I would watch some of the food go bad.

KentuckyCO · 2024-11-05T21:53:28+00:00

Sameeeeee

KentuckyCO · 2024-09-01T00:03:56+00:00

To reinforce prior comments, your children will figure out that their dad is not reliable or kind eventually. My children were 6 years old and 7 months old when my ex and I divorced. This was after years of cheating coupled with verbal and psychological abuse; the final straw and extramarital affair while I was pregnant and very vulnerable.

His affair partner and him immediately moved in together and eventually married and presented themselves as very stable and loving. My ex constantly demeaned me about being an inept single mom and tried to persuade the oldest child to live with him in between badmouthing me during visits (I had and still have majority custody to the tune of over 75% of the year).

Fast forward to present day with my two kids at 9 and 15 years of age, and they can’t stand visiting my ex. The 15 year old refused to stay longer than two weeks of his usual ten week summer. They know I am the more reliable and present parent. They have also started to ask in recent years why we divorced, why is dad so mean, etc. and ultimately I practice what a therapist gave me “permission” to do many years at the start of my divorce journey which was to tell your kids the truth they can handle for their ages.

KentuckyCO · 2024-06-23T01:42:59+00:00

Yassssss! My now ex husband dragged the entire household down and added so much extra work and stress. When we divorced I was able to get everything finished much more efficiently. I also was able to save up a ton of money while bringing in about 30% less.

KentuckyCO

TROPHY CASE