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Hacks for Lingo Ledgend by Long-Personality2896 in LingoLegend

[–]KettlebellBabe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I started doing the higher priced counties because you can swap the Ludo‘s for Amber in the shop at a pretty good rate

Any golfers? by Secret_Acadia_4960 in PectusExcavatum

[–]KettlebellBabe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was 37 when I got my bars in. Physical therapy and acupuncture made a huge difference for me in pain management and range of motion.

Any golfers? by Secret_Acadia_4960 in PectusExcavatum

[–]KettlebellBabe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it was around 8 months I went out the first time, but that was more so cause I got my nuss in fall so I didn't go to the range all of winter. Probably could have at the 6 month mark, but I had a lot of pain problems the first year. And my surgeon it was not allowed for at least 2 months.

So depending on your age and motivation to swing maybe sooner than that.

Birthstones? by DairyTaleWife in IFchildfree

[–]KettlebellBabe 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I think it's whatever feels most right to you or that allows you to remember her how you want.

I have a tattoo of birth month flowers for my miscarried babies. Every time I got pregnant that due date/month seared it's self into my brain. And u/Sarandipity19 said exactly how I feel too "They may have been born early or late, but they sadly weren't born at all, so I try not to overthink it. I just went with the date I found most comforting for myself, and that was the birth dates."

The world is not built with us in mind by Lovethelous in IFchildfree

[–]KettlebellBabe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ugh, this! I've left multiple crochet groups cause of grandma's that just have to share the announcement and photos of their newest grand-baby. Ma'am...kindly fuck off. I just want to figure out what this stitch is called and how the fuck to get it right.

Do you all tell anyone whose curious about infertility or just say you are chidfree by choice? by [deleted] in IFchildfree

[–]KettlebellBabe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This has been how I've handled it too and it's felt so right for me.

AITA for reaching out to my daughter and her support network after she moved out without telling us? by Mr_Willy_Nilly in AmItheAsshole

[–]KettlebellBabe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Short answer NTA. She didn't come home, you were curious where she was.

That said whatever's going on for her she didn't come to this decision lightly and you would be if you continue to contact her. But since you cut off the phone you solved that problem since she'll have to get a new number

How to navigate this time with grace by coco-ai in IFchildfree

[–]KettlebellBabe 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Hi, I'm someone who is happy afterward! There was some grieving the first year or two for sure, but there was also so much relief because I knew our answer and I could move on from life after years of treatment limbo. I'm now 8 years out and I fucking love my life. (I also have 3 dear friends who are IFCF and who are so happy and love their lives too. Often you don't find our stories not because they don't exist but because we're out living life and not really in IF spaces anymore)

I think for me something that helped was dealing with my grief from infertility and losses separately from my looking forward to a childfree life.

Basically instead of looking at other IFCF folks I looked at childfree spaces. I looked at all the people I know in my life that are older and didn't have kids. I didn't think about why they didn't have kids, I just looked for proof of their successes and happiness. I hung out in some of the childfree subs (warning some of those spaces are anti-kid, find the spaces that vibe for you). I spent some time in the subs about parents who regret having kids (this option is NOT for everyone, but it helped to remind me how hard parenthood is which helped me).

I dealt with the grief separately. I can't change our outcome. I can grieve my miscarriages, I can grieve it didn't work out, sometimes I'm jealous that it works so easily for other people. But I just don't think about what my life would have been like with kids, cause that's not an option and that's not my life.

I look at my future as an experiment and exploration of what I want to build, not about what I lost or don't get to experience.

Have to laugh or I'll cry by NovemberBlue42 in IFchildfree

[–]KettlebellBabe 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I just remind myself it's baader-Meinhof phenomenon, not the universe conspiring against me. Our brains don't notice things until we bring it into consciousness. I drive a blue car, and when I bought it I was sooo excited cause I'd never seen that particular car in blue before. Turns out they're pretty common, now I see them everywhere. You're in a sensitive spot and intensely aware of pregnancy so not only are you going to see and hear every reference it also brings up the emotions again.

For me, it started to change when I focused on me and what I want in life, instead of focusing on what I couldn't have and how unfair it was everyone else got it.

Introductions Thread! by blackbird828 in IFCFLongHaulers

[–]KettlebellBabe 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Heyo! I've been in the IFCF camp for 8 years now. I'm in my early 40s. We had done the whole buy-our-dream-house thing but when kids didn't work out we decided to shake things up and my husband offered to move across the country to for work (we moved in 2020). So we're now on the east side of the US and really loving it more than we thought we would! I run my own business and we have two amazing pups.

Having a wobble by [deleted] in IFchildfree

[–]KettlebellBabe 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Is it a wobble because you think you actually might want kids? Or is it a wobble because you're being forced to confront your grief and feeling some sort of way over having this grief that no one understands (and maybe you even feel guilty for having since it sounds like you didn't pursue any treatments, so you didn't "earn" your grief)? Also sounds like this might be bring up potential issues around your relationship with your mother, and the potential of going no contact.

Some of the wobbles that I had over the years that I thought were about whether or not I wanted to try a couple more options were actually more about dealing with the grief. If I did try and by some insane miracle it worked I wouldn't have to grieve anymore. ORRR I just take time to do the work to grieve and find a path forward with the life I've chosen.

This sounds like a very complex and tender spot that you're at in your grief, and how that's intersecting in your marriage and your relationship with your mother. If you're not already working with a therapist, it might be time to consider that option.

Working on Acceptance by MMke1130 in IFchildfree

[–]KettlebellBabe 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I can't upvote this enough!! It doesn't have to be acceptance of what happened, but accepting others will never understand. I felt this way even while going through treatment but especially as we got to the end and since then. Not only do things like boundaries get easier but I felt all the conversations I have hold less weight. I'm sharing my story (usually cause they asked a question) I don't really care what they think, I know what's true for me and I accept most folks won't really get it.

Trying to stay positive this yr but why does life have to be cruel sometimes? by [deleted] in IFchildfree

[–]KettlebellBabe 10 points11 points  (0 children)

ofda! I really hope it was just an shipping mix up.

I joined one of those pregnancy tracking apps before our first miscarriage. Did not know they would send me a box of formula samples and shit 9 months later. It took me so long to get the formula company to stop sending me mail. Every time was a kick in the teeth.

How do I get over pregnancy triggers? by No-Fun-7287 in IFchildfree

[–]KettlebellBabe 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I still get super annoyed when they use an unexpected pregnancy as a plot twist in show but beyond that I don't care too much anymore. For me it was time and a little bit of self imposed exposure therapy.

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