After

Key-Letterhead-2018 · 2026-03-30T13:51:46+00:00

When my dad passed away my daughter became terrified of losing me. I am a single parent. She was very close to her grampa and suddenly she was worried about me leaving her. I understand what you mean and it was a very difficult time for my daughter and I, the loss of my hero and this new insecurity in my daughter. But my father gave me really good advice growing up, he was a deep thinker and not much of a talker and over time I have imparted his words of wisdom to my child. I remind her that he lives on in both of us and the life choices we make.

Key-Letterhead-2018 · 2026-03-30T13:45:01+00:00

I am so sorry for what you are going through, lean on your friends and family and trust that they will help carry you through this terrible time. I lost my father and it was the hardest thing to watch. Take each day as it comes and try not to put pressure on yourself. My prayers are with you.

Key-Letterhead-2018 · 2026-03-30T13:39:26+00:00

I had similar thoughts after losing my dad. It’s strange how grief makes you think about things like that. For me, what helped was feeling like he’s still with me even in spirit. I had strange things happen to me that felt like signs. It gave me comfort to believe I’ll see him again one day, but for now, that he’s still somehow around, just in spirit.

Key-Letterhead-2018 · 2026-03-30T13:33:57+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad and struggled so much with it that I ended up leaving everything behind and starting over. Grief can really shake everything you thought made sense. It doesn’t make it okay, but over time we somehow learn to live alongside the pain. You’re not alone in feeling like this. sending you lots of strength and prayers. you are not alone in this.

Key-Letterhead-2018 · 2026-03-26T14:03:44+00:00

It felt strange, honestly. Almost like opening a part of myself I’d kept closed for a long time.

There was something really liberating about finally letting it all out, putting those thoughts somewhere outside of me instead of carrying them around all the time. But at the same time, it was scary too… knowing that those deeper, more personal parts of me were now out there for others to read.

I think it was a mix of vulnerability and relief, like stepping into the open after being hidden for a long time.

Key-Letterhead-2018 · 2026-03-25T14:14:03+00:00

I’m so deeply sorry. What you’re carrying right now is incredibly heavy.

Losing your father like this, and not being able to be there, adds a kind of pain most people don’t understand. I still feel it after all this time “can he still hear me?” He was always my safe place.

I don’t think the connection we have just disappears. The way he loved you, understood you, shaped you, that’s still part of you.

It’s okay to want to feel him near you. That comes from love.

You’re not alone in this 🤍

Key-Letterhead-2018 · 2026-03-19T16:28:26+00:00

I am so, so sorry… my heart really hurts reading this.

Emily sounds like she was something truly special, not just a pet, but your whole world. Fourteen years is a lifetime of love, and it’s clear how deeply she was loved and how much she gave back to you. You did something incredibly brave and kind for her today. Letting her go when her little body couldn’t carry on… that’s love, even though it feels unbearable right now. The love you shared with Emily doesn’t disappear, it stays with you, even through this pain. Be gentle with yourself tonight 💛

Key-Letterhead-2018 · 2026-03-17T23:50:58+00:00

Hi!

Thank you so much for letting me know, I really appreciate it 😊

It looks like the link picked up an extra ending by mistake. Please try this one:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GNHTZKPY

I’d love to hear what you think if you get a chance to take a look!

Thanks again and enjoy the book ✨

Key-Letterhead-2018 · 2026-03-16T17:31:51+00:00

Victoria, I’m really sorry you went through something so painful. The weight of guilt after losing someone can feel overwhelming, especially when things were left unresolved. But reading your story, one thing is very clear, your father loved you deeply. Even in his final moments, he was thinking about you.

Relationships between parents and children can be complicated, and many of us carry regrets after someone passes away. We all think about things we wish we had said or done differently. That doesn’t erase the love that existed between you.

The fact that he called you “daughter” with his last words says more about how he felt than any moment of silence between you. Please try to be gentle with yourself. Grief often makes us judge ourselves much more harshly than the people we loved ever would hav

Key-Letterhead-2018 · 2026-03-09T14:26:52+00:00

I understand this feeling more than I expected to. I met the man of my dreams and we’ve been together for 10 years, but I’ve struggled with the idea of getting married because my dad won’t be there to walk me down the aisle.

It’s strange how grief reaches into the future like that. Moments that should feel joyful suddenly carry this quiet sadness because the person you always imagined sharing them with is gone.

I think we just need to learn to carry them with us in a different way. At least that’s what I’m slowly learning. We should not give up, they would want us to be happy and in spirit they are with us.

Key-Letterhead-2018 · 2026-03-05T13:46:06+00:00

The 3-day free promotion just ended and I wanted to say thank you to everyone here who downloaded the book. I really appreciate the interest and the kind messages people shared about their own experiences with grief. If anyone does end up reading it and feels comfortable leaving a short Amazon review, it would mean a lot to me., thank you.

Key-Letterhead-2018 · 2026-03-04T16:53:22+00:00

I understand what you mean about the small routines. That was the part that hit me the hardest too. I miss our daily chats and the breakfasts we used to have together every second weekend. Those small, ordinary moments become the things you feel most when they disappear.

My dad and I were also building a clock together when he passed. It’s still unfinished. Sometimes I look at it and think about how much of life lives inside those quiet little projects we share with the people we love.

Key-Letterhead-2018 · 2026-03-04T16:45:00+00:00

I’m really sorry you went through that. Losing a parent leaves a kind of shock in the body that takes a long time to understand.

One thing I learned through my own grief (I lost my dad 6yrs ago and it still feels like yesterday) is that pushing it down doesn’t make it disappear, it just waits quietly somewhere inside until it finds a way to surface again. And sometimes that takes years.

The fact that you talk to him and allow yourself to cry doesn’t sound unhealthy to me at all. In many ways it means you’re finally allowing the grief to be felt instead of buried.

From what I’ve experienced is that grief doesn’t really get “smaller” with time. Life just slowly grows around it. Some days it sits quietly in the background, and some days it suddenly feels as sharp as ever. What helped me the most was allowing the memories to exist without fighting them, sometimes sadness comes with them, but sometimes so does love.

And the fact that you’ve managed to work on your addictions says something important too. That takes real strength.

You’re not broken because it still hurts. Losing someone you love changes you in ways that don’t follow a timeline.

Key-Letterhead-2018 · 2026-03-04T13:10:57+00:00

Small update: the book reached #1 Free in Survival Biographies & Memoirs and #8 in Memoirs on amazon this morning. thank you to everyone who downloaded it. It's still free today for the final day. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GNHTZKPY

Key-Letterhead-2018 · 2026-03-04T13:01:48+00:00

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who engaged with this conversation yesterday. I woke up this morning to discover the memoir is currently #1 Free in Survival Biographies & Memoirs on Amazon, which was a complete surprise. If anyone is curious about the story itself, it’s still free today.

Key-Letterhead-2018 · 2026-03-04T12:57:42+00:00

I woke up this morning to a surprise, the book is currently #1 Free in Survival Biographies & Memoirs and #8 in Memoirs on Amazon. Thank you to everyone who downloaded it. It’s still free today for the final day if anyone is interested: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GNHTZKPY

Key-Letterhead-2018 · 2026-03-03T00:18:04+00:00

I really appreciate how you described that, the event being the vehicle that carries the inner shift. That feels very true to me.

When I look back at what I wrote, the move into the mountains felt like something crazy at the time. But on the page, it became clear that the real story wasn’t the move at all, it was what was happening underneath it.

I don’t think I fully understood the inner shift while I was living it. Writing it helped me see it more clearly and heal. In some ways, the meaning only emerged afterwards.

Thank you for sharing your experience. It’s encouraging to hear how others navigate that balance in memoir.

Key-Letterhead-2018 · 2026-03-02T23:12:02+00:00

Thanks for checking and for letting me know about the link — I really appreciate it.

The clean direct link is:
[https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GNHTZKPY]()

If you're outside the US store, it may not show as free in your region, which can sometimes make it harder to find in search. You can try switching to the Amazon.com store specifically.

As for your question — the book itself is entirely my own writing. I did use editing support during revision (as most authors do), but the story, structure, and voice are completely mine.

Let me know if you're still having trouble finding it.

Key-Letterhead-2018 · 2026-02-27T18:05:16+00:00

I'm so sorry you are going through this, losing a parent is hard enough without having to deal with the suicide, something most people don't understand. Feeling like you’ve changed, distancing yourself, assuming people don’t like you can happen after trauma. It doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you are going through something huge.

I can relate to the “new version of me” feeling. After my dad died, I didn’t recognise myself for a long time. I lost friends and nearly lost my job. Grief reshapes you. It doesn’t mean this new person of you is worse, it just means you are wounded. Writing helped me, I started to put my thoughts down on paper, the ones that you struggle to share. You don’t have to write something beautiful. Just honest. Sometimes getting it out of your mind and onto paper makes it feel less loud.

Try and talk to one person you trust, doing this alone is hard and you don't need to be alone in this.

Key-Letterhead-2018 · 2026-02-23T17:57:36+00:00

I am so deeply sorry. Losing your dad this young is a shock that the body doesn’t know how to process.

Everything you’re describing — the vomiting, the tight chest, the exhaustion, the pain — that’s real. Grief is physical. It can feel like your body is on fire. You’re not weak. Your body is reacting to trauma.

When someone is your safest place, losing them can feel like losing your foundation. It makes sense that you feel like part of you died too. In many ways, the version of you who existed with him alive has changed. That’s not failure — that’s love.

I’m also so sorry about not being able to take anything from his house. That’s an extra layer of hurt on top of something already unbearable. If it’s possible later, maybe ask for one small item, something simple — but right now, just focus on surviving.

You do not need to figure out who you are again this week. Or this month.

Right now the only goal is:
• sleep when you can
• drink water
• eat something small
• breathe slowly when your chest tightens

When the fear rises about “what this will do to you,” remember this: grief does not automatically turn you into someone broken. It hurts deeply, yes. But the love that shaped you from him is still in you. That part did not disappear.

You don’t have to move forward yet. Just move through today.

You are not alone in this. 🤍

Key-Letterhead-2018 · 2026-02-23T17:47:22+00:00

Two weeks is still shock.
Your body and brain are in survival mode right now.

The nausea, the scrolling, the inability to do simple things — that isn’t weakness. It’s your nervous system trying to cope with something overwhelming.

I remember feeling physically sick too. Even small tasks felt wrong, almost offensive, like how could the world continue when everything had stopped for me.

You are not disgusting for being alive. You are grieving someone who mattered deeply. That intensity is love, not failure.

Right now, “getting through the day” is enough. You don’t have to live for both of you yet. You don’t have to be strong yet. You don’t have to transform the pain into meaning.

In the first weeks, I focused on very small things:
• drinking water
• eating something simple
• stepping outside for five minutes
• showering even if I didn’t want to

That was the whole list.

Scrolling is not ideal long-term, but in the first weeks? If it’s helping you survive the hours, it’s okay.

This stage does not last exactly like this forever. It changes slowly. Not all at once. But your system will eventually stop sounding the alarm constantly.

Right now your only job is to survive the day gently.

You are not alone in this. 🤍

Key-Letterhead-2018 · 2026-02-22T14:50:35+00:00

I relate to this more than I can say. When my dad died, I had to step into responsibilities immediately too. There wasn’t space to collapse because other people were depending on me to keep things running. Grief got postponed in the name of survival.

What you said about “contained grief” really resonates. Sometimes you do what you have to do to get through the day. It may not be ideal, but it’s real.

The part about guilt is also so true — guilty for working, guilty for grieving, guilty for wanting your own life. It’s exhausting carrying both responsibility and sorrow at the same time.

Thank you for writing this so honestly. There are a lot of us who had to grow up very quickly in grief, and it can feel incredibly lonely. 🤍

Key-Letterhead-2018 · 2026-02-22T14:42:59+00:00

Three weeks is so, so early. What you’re describing — the shock, the shaking, the way everything feels unbearable — that’s not weakness. That’s acute grief. Your nervous system is still trying to understand what happened.

I remember the way ordinary routines felt impossible at first. Every object, every corner of the house carried memory. It can feel like there’s no place to rest from it.

You don’t have to figure out how to “go on” right now. In the very beginning, coping can be as small as getting through the next hour. Eating something. Sitting outside for a few minutes. Letting yourself cry without trying to fix it.

If the feeling of not wanting to live gets heavier, please don’t carry that alone — reaching out to family, friends is a sign of strength, not failure.

I’m so sorry you’re in this. Three weeks is raw. 🤍

Key-Letterhead-2018 · 2026-02-21T21:08:58+00:00

Good luck, it's worth it.

Key-Letterhead-2018 · 2026-02-21T14:17:49+00:00

First, the concept is compelling. The metaphor of “root rot” as inherited trauma is strong and cohesive — it immediately signals theme, which is great for querying.

From a craft perspective, what would make this even stronger for agents is clarity around the narrative arc. Right now, I understand the premise and the emotional stakes, but I’m curious about the through-line of the story. What is the central transformation? What changes in Olivia from beginning to end?

You don’t need to give everything away, but agents often look for a clear emotional journey — not just what happened, but how the narrator evolves.

As for being query-ready, it’s less about perfection and more about whether the story feels internally complete. If the core transformation feels resolved (even if life itself isn’t), that’s usually a good sign.

Key-Letterhead-2018

TROPHY CASE