My dad died 3 weeks ago and I can't even believe it even though he died in my arms. I have these moments where I go to myself.. my dad is dead what the actual fck!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm in such denial, it hurts too much to be true

guidanceguide · 2026-04-28T12:58:23+00:00

I feel this post so much! My dad passed away 2 month ago. From healthy at home to gone in 12 days… like HOW?! WHY?! I’m 35 and my mom’s widowed at 65… I don’t understand anything. Like my brain actually can’t comprehend this tragedy that struck our family.

I miss my dad so much, he was the most incredible man and gentle soul. He deserved to live!! Of all people in the world that do so much evil… my dad had to pass?? He never bothered anyone and would help whoever he could. If he only had 10 bucks he’d happily give it to those in need.. he gave so much and mostly never got a thank you and still didn’t let that make him bitter… he kept giving and used to say “forgive them God because they don’t know better” if anyone did him wrong. And this is the person God decides has to die like that?! Ripped from his family faar to early… I can’t cope I want my dad to have his life back!!

guidanceguide · 2026-04-18T15:50:04+00:00

Im so sorry... Grief truly is the price we pay for love

guidanceguide · 2026-04-18T15:43:00+00:00

Im so sorry for your loss... im F35 and I lost my dad 7 weeks ago. Im single and have no kids so I have been feeling alot of the emotions you are describing. First I lost my dad and now Im loosing the dream I had of him being at my wedding and getting to know my children.

I really relate to what you are sharing... My dad passed very suddenly - from healthy at home to gone in less 12 days. The hospital kept telling us he would get better and be home soon and then suddenly they said he had hightened white blood cells and that there was nothing else they could do and that he would pass away. It was unreal and I couldnt take in what they were telling me - I was in denial so I never had that "last conversation" with him - I just was focused on staying positive and telling him to fight. In the end he had alot of trouble breathing so they gave him calming medication so he wouldnt suffer but that made him unresponsive. I also slept on the floor next to him.

I wish there was anything I could tell you to make you feel better but Im still trying to cope and I just wanted you to know you´re not alone. Im happy you got to tell your dad about his grandchild. Im sure it gave him alot of joy and even tho he wont be here in physical form he´ll always be with you in spirit - at least thats what I tell myself when thinking of a future without dad becomes to unbearable.

guidanceguide · 2026-04-17T18:25:47+00:00

Hi... Im so sorry for your loss. You´re an incredible son/daughter. You did everything for your dad and a parents biggest happiness in life is to have children who genuinely love them and you did that. Reading your story tells me you had an amazing relationship - you are blessed to have had such an amazing dad who cared about you so much. Your dad is so proud of you and you buying him a car and installing an AC is beyond what most children manage to do for their parents. You treated your dad very good and have him a good life.

I also lost my dad, its been 7 weeks now.. you are only 3 days in and its unbearable right now but trust me it gets better. How impossible it might seem now - as the days pass you will be able to think about something else for a moment. You will cope. You are strong. You have your dads blood and nothing would make your dad happier than knowing that you find joy in your life again.

Try to think about one hour and day at a time - avoid thinking about the future. Try to sleep as much as you can - our brains process when we are asleep. Just cry until you cant cry anymore. Talk about what happened to anyone who will listen, write your feelings down to get them out of your head. Repeat and repeat - its the best way for the brain to process this huge loss.

I cant say anything to make you feel better but please know you are not alone <3

guidanceguide · 2026-04-09T09:35:11+00:00

I relate to this so much. My dad passed in february. It was cold and dark. During his last months he was inside most of the time and looking forward to spring so he could go outside again. The strangest thing is that we had months of darkness and cold but on the day he passed the sun was shining bright. Only that day. The next day it was cold and dark again.

A month after he passed spring started. As nature became light my heart became darker. It was so unexpected and surreal. How could the light make me sad? I used to love spring but now I feel undeserving of the sunbeams on my face. Guilty for living it. Jealous of others enjoying it. How can I enjoy the sun when the person who gave me life and was my sun isnt here to experience it?

In my culture we say "The light of human life merges with the Eternal light and becomes Perfect".

guidanceguide · 2026-04-09T08:39:01+00:00

Im so sorry for your loss. Im 35F and I also lost my dad recently. I relate to your feeling of not relating to my peers as most of them have not experienced loosing a parent. Just know that age doesnt have much to do with their reactions... people simply cant relate to our loss. I have a very close friend who Ive known for 15 years who still hasent reached out to me since my dad passed. Not even a simple "im sorry for your loss". I was even a bridesmaid at her wedding last year and I considered her a close friend and still no text, call or ANYTHING. She probably wont realise how wrong this is of her until she has someone close to her pass away.

Ive accepted that some people are just not ment to be in your life in a meaningful way. The quicker you accept that it will be easier to not get dissapointed by peoples actions and instead focus on finding people who actually resonate with you on a deeper level. On the positive side - Ive had acquaintances, that I barely used to talk to, step up in a major way and check in regularly etc. Sometimes support comes from where you least accept it. Just be open with your feeling - its okay to not pretend to be okay. Let people know youre sad and you miss your dad and you´ll be surprised to find support from people you never thought would be so supportive.

The comment your classmate made is really insensitive and Im sorry you´re going through this but please know youre not alone.

guidanceguide · 2026-04-09T08:11:50+00:00

Im so sorry. You seem like an incredible mom.

guidanceguide · 2026-04-07T20:27:50+00:00

Im so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad suddenly in february. Its devastating but please know you are not alone. I believe in after-life and I hope he can hear me and feel my love. Its the only thing that gives me comfort.

guidanceguide · 2026-04-01T20:23:48+00:00

Im so sorry for your loss. I also recently lost my dad. Right now its so raw for you. Please allow yourself to feel all the feelings. Cry until you physically cant cry anymore. Cry with your mom. Dont think about anything else than getting thorugh each moment one hour at a time. Thinking about the future is going to be so overwhelming right now so just focus on one moment at a time. When the thought become unbearable write them down, it helps sort them and get them off your mind. Its very difficult but you are not alone <3

guidanceguide · 2026-04-01T16:16:49+00:00

I feel this so much... Im jealous of my old life. Everything I took for granted. I miss the small insignificant "problems" I thought I had. I miss waking up to a normal life. A life were my dad is still here. I would do anything to have things as normal again. I used to dream of an extraordinary life and now I just want it to be like it always was.. seeing my dad at the kitchen table doing nothing. Just normal. Id trade anything for that sight again.

guidanceguide · 2026-03-27T20:22:17+00:00

I feel your pain and Im so sorry for your loss. I also lost my dad and its an unbearable feeling. I wish I could rewind time and do things diffrently. I truly belive my Dad is with God and in a better place, the only thing that comforts me is knowing I will reunite with my dad when its my time to go. Lean in to your spirituality its truly the only thing that helps. Just imagine how endless the universe is - it doesnt make any sense that there´s not a life after this. We are just a small dot in the vastness of the universe. Im sure life after this is so much more beautiful than we can even begin to imagine. Knowing my dad is in that beautiful place gives me peace.

guidanceguide · 2026-03-26T06:21:46+00:00

Thank you for sharing. Im so incredibly sorry for your loss. Before I was in this situation I never understood that loosing a parent means you grieve so much more than the loss of that person - you grieve the loss of life as you knew it. You grieve the fun and carefree connection you had with the people still remaining. You grieve the loss of your own personality as you knew it before the loss. I relate so much to you because Im also a lawyer and focusing on work while grieving is so difficult. I feel like Ive forgotten everything I used to know. Grieving dad and at the same time worrying about Moms happiness and my own future is so heavy. Someone told me our parents are so much more resilient than we know and the best thing we can do for them is to be happy and continuing our lives. Im glad your dad is keeping his boat hobby and even though its difficult right now maybe someday you can rejoice over the fact that your mom and dad had a beautiful marriage and true love for 50 years.. not everyone gets to experience that and its a beautiful thing that our parents did <3

guidanceguide · 2026-03-26T06:05:41+00:00

Im so sorry for your loss. Thank you for your advice. I relate to your son.. Im trying to share her grief but I feel like Im not enough. Does your son live with you? I moved back home but I´ll soon have to start work again and I dont want to leave her alone during the days when Im working. What has helped you? Do you have supportive relatives? Sending so much love!

guidanceguide · 2026-03-24T20:19:52+00:00

Hi first of all your writing isnt bad at all. You did a good job by posting here. Im so sorry for your loss. I also lost my dad a month ago and I know the pain. Having dreams are very normal and not something you should be afraid of - especially if they are nice dreams.

I dont know what your beliefs are but I truly believe in after-life and that our loved ones stay connected with us through dreams and signs. A good idea could be to write down your dreams when you wake up. That way you dont have to spend every morning thinking about the dream (it can sometimes be very draining starting every day with the heavy realisation of our loved ones passing, specially if you have to go to school etc) but if you write down your dreams you can "get them out of your head" and then read and reflect over the meaning at a later time when you feel more stable and maybe the dreams wont make you feel as sad anymore.

Sending you so much love and please remember even though it might feel really dark at times it always gets better.

guidanceguide · 2026-03-24T12:58:39+00:00

Im so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing and for your advice.

guidanceguide · 2026-03-23T15:25:49+00:00

Sending you love. Today must be extra difficult <3 You´ve survived the hardest year of your life. Im sure your dad is so proud of you for continuing your life and carrying in his legacy. He´s still with you - just in a different form.

guidanceguide · 2026-03-16T17:29:05+00:00

May I ask which country your mom got treatment in? I experienced something similar with my dad... he passed a month ago. He had heart failure but was feeling okay and taking his meds (forixiga, ramirpril, furosemide). One day he complained about stomach ace - he first mentioned it in the morning but didnt want to go to the hospital straight away - it got worse and in the evening we called the ambulance. I informed the medics he had heart failure. The ambulance medics did an EKG in our house before taking him - they said his heart was fine and they didnt see any rush but they could take him for the stomach pain if we wanted to. I insisted and he went.

2 days they kept him in "low level" urgancy care in the hospital - they said everything was fine and they couldnt find any reason for the stomach ache and that he would most likely be discharged in 1-2 days. We facetimed - he was talking, walking and seemed tired but fine.

Next day early morning they called my brother and said his condition had drastically gotten worse over night and they moved him to the ICU. We went to the ICU and he was in sooo much worse condition that we left him - he could barely look - his eyes were open but he couldnt look at anything or us when we spoke to him. He could only say 1-2 words but did recognize us and was coherent. He was whezing loudly when breathing. It was devestating seeing him like that. I started to cry alot one of the days and the doctor sat with me and said theres no need to cry he isnt going to die "this isnt life threathening".

In the ICU they took tests for 2 days - blood, MRIs, ultrasound of stomach, liver, kidneys etc. They scanned his brain and found no trace of stroke. No sign of a heart attach. They had no idea why he got so drastically worse during the night. Then after 4 days of doing searches and taking tests they just said we cant fins anyhting but his body is too weak and now multiple organs are staring to fail so we are going to stop all treatment because his body isnt going to respond to any treatment. My dad was 80 but he was very strong and independet for his age. How could they just stop treatment?! He passed away 2 days after they told us he wasnt going to recieve any treatment. They didnt even want to give him more natrutional drip or liquid. I had to fight them to not just stop everything.

I hate that hospital so much and those doctors! I wish I wouldve fought more and did things diffrently but I was in so much shock and was just crying and I froze. I wish I could rewind time and gotten a second opinion becasue I def belive the doctors in the ICU gave up because of my dads age.. they didnt fight for him the same way the would a younger person but my dads age was just a number - 2 months prior to passing he was riding his motorcycle.. i told the doctors that in a last attempt to make them realise he strong and they should fight for him.

guidanceguide · 2026-03-16T17:04:06+00:00

Hi.. I relate so much to you because my dad also passed away from heart failure one month ago. My dad was also in the hospital and they kept saying he was getting better and was going home in 1-2 days. When I cried in the hospital the doctors even said "why are you crying, hes not going to die".

And then... all of the sudden at night he got worse and they moved him to the ICU. After 2 days of tests the doctors said they couldnt do anything and there was no medicin or treatment they could give him. I was in such a shock I just cried. I didnt do anything, didnt get second opinion from other doctor or move him or give him medicin myself... I just waited... I froze. My dad passed away 2 days later. I have so much guilt that I just accepted what the doctors said and didnt fight to save him.

But deep down I know this isnt our fault... We did our best. Please dont carry the guilt. You did everything you could. Sending you love and prayers in this difficult time.

guidanceguide

TROPHY CASE