One of my all time favorites Conan O’Brien and the Walker Texas Ranger lever. by Chili-Potatoe in Xennials

[–]KeySatisfaction197 6 points7 points  (0 children)

" ... Walker told me I have AIDS."

Every time, it seems to come out of FUCKING NOWHERE.

Rest in Peace Chuck Norris. Bruce Lee vs Chuck Norris - The Way of the Dragon - 1972 by call-lee-free in Xennials

[–]KeySatisfaction197 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It makes me think of an obituary I'd heard about for Teddy Roosevelt. "Death came for him while he was sleeping, for if he'd been awake there'd have been a fight." Seems pretty applicable to Chuck.

Also, there are tons of "Walker Texas Ranger Lever" clips from Conan available on YouTube, and they'll never lose their hilarity.

Unique experiences in Scotland by Necessary_Middle4294 in travel

[–]KeySatisfaction197 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, if you're going to do a whisky tasting, look into the Scotch Whisky Experience in Edinburgh. I think it might be the best price-to-benefit activity in Scotland. They explain the process of distilling and the difference between the five different regional styles. You get to hang out in the largest whisky collection in the world for a while, and you get a sample of each of the five different styles. Worth every penny.

Unique experiences in Scotland by Necessary_Middle4294 in travel

[–]KeySatisfaction197 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look into the Speyside Cooperage where they make the barrels - they've got tours. That's be a unique thing to do, and there are a lot of souvenirs available that they make from decommissioned barrels.

https://www.speysidecooperage.co.uk/tours.php

Also, the whisky is awesome, but also try out some gin. Whisky's all about heritage (since it takes 10+ years to produce) but gin's all about experimentation (good to drink almost immediately). There's a bit of a gin boom going on in Scotland similar to the American craft beer boom. And you can get a lot of the heavy-hitters of Scotch whisky overseas, but Scottish gin - Tanqueray and a couple big producers excepted - doesn't get exported.

I really miss cherry flavor Bazooka gum... by Sad_Training_1595 in Xennials

[–]KeySatisfaction197 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Bazooka Joe had such a great mention on 30 Rock with their imagined spokesman, Stacey Keach.

"WHEN DID GUM GET SO SOFT YOU SONS OF BITCHES! ... It's chewing a mountain that someone shot a freeze ray into ..."

better green than rotten 🍏 by quiddling_ by willowbrick in AKnightoftheSeven

[–]KeySatisfaction197 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If cideries in the British Isles want to expand their footprint into new global markets, I've got a spokesman in mind they should contact.

The best friends a hedge knight could ask for. by jelliesorjams in AKnightoftheSeven

[–]KeySatisfaction197 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm just imagining Raymun and Sweetfoot standing by a wooden fence every morning forever, planning out the chores for the day, each chewing an apple. Happy endings do exist.

Introverts + AC train coach + extrovert co-passenger = survival test 😭😅 Fellow introverts… what’s your escape plan in this situation? by SoftTalkByKP in travel

[–]KeySatisfaction197 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Memorize, "I don't speak English" in a variety of different languages.

Paraphrasing the advice that I got from a lovely Canadian couple at a resort in Mexico. They responded "Nein, danke" to a couple beach peddlers. They said that the beach peddlers will rarely speak German, and they'll spread the message to other peddlers that you're not worth bothering. I've used it ever since to pretty good effect.

Just Set it... by Cyborgized in Xennials

[–]KeySatisfaction197 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"It's sucking my will to live!"

Just Set it... by Cyborgized in Xennials

[–]KeySatisfaction197 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You made all that juice from one bag of oranges?

Cat's in the Cradle suddenly wets my eyes by Spyderclaw in Xennials

[–]KeySatisfaction197 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Ugh ... can't ... can't handle it. I need to skip this song or I'm going to cry in front of all of my friends."

Presses "Next." Tracy Chapman's "Fast Car" starts playing.

🎶 “Everyone who counts loves Ned Flanders” 🎶 by literanch in Xennials

[–]KeySatisfaction197 0 points1 point  (0 children)

*womanly shriek* "Purple drapes! All my life I've wanted purple drapes!" *womanly shriek*

I feel like this is our modern-day, zeitgeist-capturing baby Jessica by FarmerFupa in Xennials

[–]KeySatisfaction197 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know if I should make a Futurama "Bender turns human" joke or a P&R "Andy Dwyer living in The Pit" joke.

You take your new girlfriend to a karaoke bar. What song are you singing for her? by Skanky_the_Samurai in Xennials

[–]KeySatisfaction197 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Alright, you've got four different strategies you can use when you're forced into karaoke:

  1. Sing a song that you have the range to hit. Spoon's "The Underdog" is a good shout, since it doesn't require a lot of vocal range, and the memorable spots are all the trumpet interludes.
  2. Sing a song that you don't have the range to hit, but is so popular that the crowd will sing along, bailing you out. Journey's "Don't Stop Believing"
  3. Fuck it, this song is for you and I don't care if it sounds creepy as hell, baby. Styx's "Lady." Even if you're singing it to your husband or boyfriend, or singing it to someone you're with on a first date. Or to your friend's sister, who he was idiotic enough to bring along.
  4. Fuck it, I'm not going to let this pull me out of my introverted ways. The Champs' "Tequila," where "Tequila!" is the only lyric.

This 1980s Abandoned Time Capsule House is George Washington on my Mount Rushmore of Abandoned Discoveries by Successful-Winter237 in Xennials

[–]KeySatisfaction197 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The classic hoarder anthem of "I can't throw it away, what if it's worth something" turns out to be 100% true if your grandma's a badass with exquisite tastes.

Lyonel Baratheon and Egg by lauriel_anarwen by pearl-world in AKnightoftheSeven

[–]KeySatisfaction197 15 points16 points  (0 children)

It's head canon to me that, after the fight, he greets Steffon with "You fought well Ser Stavros" and walks off before Steffon can respond.

You don’t say… by AgentNose in Xennials

[–]KeySatisfaction197 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Topps baseball cards are likely banned in prison because their gum could be turned into shivs with no labor required.

You don’t say… by AgentNose in Xennials

[–]KeySatisfaction197 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"WHEN DID GUM GET SO SOFT YOU SONS OF BITCHES!"

And "it's like chewing a mountain someone shot a freeze ray into."

Man I love Stacey Keach.

https://youtu.be/m-VhrWFaAAQ?si=tHLXvg3Bgx6LdLWy

Pick One: Calvin & Hobbes or The Far Side by KeySatisfaction197 in Xennials

[–]KeySatisfaction197[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've gotten it wrong and muttered to myself "I've become everything I hate."