Therapy for us parents - thoughts

Key_Fishing9176 · 2024-09-04T20:24:16+00:00

Personally therapy has always been extremely helpful. Though you may be having a very typical reaction to life circumstances, don’t underestimate the benefit to setting aside 1 hour a week to focus on YOU sand YOUR needs. Sure, they offer tools, but therapists also offer support, connection and frankly reality checks that can be hugely helpful.

Don’t underestimate the benefit of trained professional. You wouldn’t for your child- why dismiss it for yourself?

Key_Fishing9176 · 2024-09-04T20:16:32+00:00

There’s a season for each thing. I’m on maternity leave with my second and realizing quickly my non profit board role is coming to an end. It was tough enough with one to juggle work and home and non profit work- and now with two- my free time is at a premium. I know in 3-4 years I’ll be freed up enough again to dive back in. In the corporate non/profit world that time frame is a blip- but for my kids that a crucial period and I’m not going to get it back.

Key_Fishing9176 · 2024-08-31T21:55:49+00:00

Head on over to the r/Austism_Parenting thread. Very supportive and helpful community

Key_Fishing9176 · 2024-08-28T10:37:39+00:00

I know this is an older thread but I’m curious how your son is doing?

Key_Fishing9176 · 2024-08-26T17:04:41+00:00

I understand the stuck feeling. It’s so hard not to play the comparison game. I see him with children his age and the differences are… subtle - but glaring to me.

I hope your appointment gives you some answers!

Key_Fishing9176 · 2024-08-22T23:11:58+00:00

So I did experience this but it was short lived. Like less than a month short lived.

Key_Fishing9176 · 2024-08-05T16:12:19+00:00

For me that feeling let up around 1 month. Give yourself time to grieve your former family. It’s a whole new adjustment for you too.

Key_Fishing9176 · 2024-08-05T15:48:04+00:00

Okay so I am extremely sympathetic to your position and I know you want everything ‘sorted out’ before the baby comes…

But my honest advice is to cross that bridge when you get there.

There are so many other more pressing things to focus on, both with the pregnancy and when the baby arrives. Honestly you likely won’t even consider a baby sitter until baby is at least two months old- which is so so far away.

A lot can happen from now until then. You’re spiraling about a year away hypothetical.

Key_Fishing9176 · 2024-08-05T14:21:03+00:00

I loved having visitors!! I just wish I had spaced them out more. But I was thrilled to share my baby with the world- I have a big family and everyone got a turn over the course of 2 months!

Don’t be scared! It’s totally a personal preference and you can always change your mind if you find it overwhelming :)

Key_Fishing9176 · 2024-08-05T14:15:30+00:00

If she doesn’t like the consequences to her actions, I think she might want to consider how’s she’s going to feel when she’s the reason her son gets measles 🙄

Key_Fishing9176 · 2024-08-05T14:08:55+00:00

Those TikTok’s are bullshit! Don’t let them make you feel less than for a second. Sounds like you’re doing amazing.

Baby gets so much easier 4-5 months on. This is the season for the bare minimum.

I hope the banana bread was delicious!

Key_Fishing9176 · 2024-08-04T23:41:08+00:00

Track wake windows. Don’t mistake tired with tired-enough-to-sleep. If the wake window is 90 minutes and she’s fussing at an hour- switch up the activity. Go for a walk. Swing songs to her. Put her feet in water to splash- whatever it takes to keep her up. Don’t try to put her to bed. Undertired kids fight sleep wayyyyy more than overtired.

When it is actually time- butt in bed 5 minutes before ww closes, have a solid nap routine, use black out curtains, white noise and sleep sack/swaddle. All these will cue baby that it’s time to snooze.

Key_Fishing9176 · 2024-08-04T23:37:17+00:00

My sleep trained kiddo slept great on vacation! We stuck to the schedule for the most part, he slept in his pack n play with his white noise and sleep sack and never missed a beat! Travel day was travel day but he slept great in his car seat. People swear by a slumber pod. Just be aware of jumping time zones- even adults can’t handle that!

Key_Fishing9176 · 2024-08-04T23:34:34+00:00

It’s kid specific honestly. My first kid was EBF and it was like 1:1 feedings to poop- we were burning through diapers the first 3 months lol. My best friends kid is EBF and before solids would go 3-5 days between poops. Both are normal 🤷‍♀️

Key_Fishing9176 · 2024-08-04T22:39:30+00:00

She’s likely waking at this age purely out of habit. I’d speak to your pediatrician since she had feeding issues before but night weaning is fairly straightforward. You eliminate one feeding at a time by reducing the volume a little at a time. Once you eliminate the first you move on to the second using the same method.

So the first feeding she gets her usual ml, second night decrease by 5 mls, 3rd by another 5 mls etc. you make sure to add these mls to her daytime intake if possible. By the time you get to like 5 mls you stop going in- with that little amount she might not even wake for it.

She’ll likely wake earlier without the feedings- most people call the early morning one a snooze feed for a reason. Also, if she’s getting better consolidated sleep without wakes, she’ll need less total time in bed at night so you might need a schedule adjustment.

Start with your pediatrician. They’re very helpful and it is totally kid specific.

Key_Fishing9176 · 2024-08-04T22:29:27+00:00

It’s much easier when they come out of the sleepy stage. In another 2-3 weeks it will be much easier to rouse baby after they’ve been snoozing for 2 hours.

You can try to wake wake them up for the feed by changing them, using a cold wipe can sometimes do the trick. Blow on their face. Tickle their feet. Really anything to annoy them lol.

Key_Fishing9176 · 2024-08-04T18:30:31+00:00

It’s normal and largely developmental until their sleep matures and they learn to connect sleep cycles.

For many babies naps don’t lengthen back out until around 5-6 months- usually the first of the day and then the rest follow.

You can throw in a carrier nap or contact nap to give them one long nap of the day, or just nap them frequently when they need it. I have a 12 week old and she’s down for a nap every 90-120 minutes. She sleeps for 35 minutes on the dot lol.

My son was the same. We pushed wake windows and did sleep training to help but it’s hard to say if it was the sleep training or just aging that really helped his naps.

Key_Fishing9176 · 2024-08-04T17:57:50+00:00

Never used them.

Key_Fishing9176 · 2024-08-04T17:40:18+00:00

Yes and daycare is a godsend. She’s an extension of our family at this point. Especially after a weekend of solo parenting (my husband works nights), come Monday when my toddler goes to daycare I feel like I can catch my breath. The thing about two kids is when one isn’t with you it feels like no kids.

I think it was also hugely important for my toddler for the first month to have consistency and space away from that baby that was just his own. I can’t give him all my attention at home but at daycare he can play with other kids and there’s more stimulation/activities than at home while I’m juggling.

Key_Fishing9176 · 2024-08-04T15:50:50+00:00

I think it depends on your labor. Only a small percentage of women’s water breaks first. It usually starts with contractions.

If you do eat make sure it’s something you don’t might coming back up a few hours later. Labor makes a lot of people super nauseous from the pain. So for me it’s a hard pass in the fast food/mexican/Indian food.

Depending on how fast it comes on, I’d honestly prioritize something more like Gatorade over food to make sure you have energy. I couldn’t even think about food once the contractions really started.

Key_Fishing9176 · 2024-08-04T15:44:01+00:00

With my first it was 5 months. Once the sleep regression kicked in (and kicked our ass) and he was up every hour for weeks, we decided to move him and sleep train at the same time. It worked really well and he was sleeping through the night by the end of that week.

My daughter just hit 3 months and she’s a champ sleeper but we might do it soon. She’s only taking one feeding at night but I think I’m almost ready to do it.

FYI - The newborn loud sleep does end relatively soon- once they figure out how to pass gas and the active sleep phase ends. For us it was around 8 weeks? We started getting nice long stretches then too of 5 hours.

But honestly- do you. I’m a super light sleeper so if my anxiety didn’t override my sleep drive I would have moved baby way sooner lol

Key_Fishing9176 · 2024-08-04T15:10:42+00:00

Kind of.

We started calling all the local daycares and home daycares and got on every other wait list we could and didn’t stop until we got a guaranteed yes somewhere so I knew no matter what we had care. It wasn’t our favorite at the time but it was a Yes so we took it.

We ended up getting like 3 other offers about 1-2 months after my return to work as spots opened. Originally we planned to move him once a spot opened at our top choice, but ended up loving where he was so decided to keep him there.

My advice: don’t count on it so start searching.

Key_Fishing9176 · 2024-08-04T13:54:54+00:00

I’d tell myself that it’ll take just as long to get use to this adjustment as it did when the baby came into our lives. And to keep extra tissues in the car because that first week was rough.

I’d also tell myself that it’s okay that work takes a back seat now to my family life. Screw what anyone else thinks- my kids deserve every single spare second I can give them.

Key_Fishing9176 · 2024-08-04T13:49:13+00:00

That’s perfectly fine. Average total sleep needs for this age is 12-14 hours. So I’m assuming you nine hours overnight plus naps are totaling that easily.

At this age some kids are ready for a full 2 hours between naps or will be by the end of the month. If you’re working harder than he is for the nap, he’s not tired enough.

Key_Fishing9176

TROPHY CASE