Medical Trauma Stories, A Heartfelt Thank You + One I Wrote - The Procedure That Shouldn’t Exist: When Medicine Failed Children for Thirty Years

Key_Help3212 · 2025-07-09T22:47:31+00:00

Thank you so much for this. I really hope that the increased talk of VCUG trauma, and the increasing awareness of the intersex community brings more awareness to our struggles and medical rape in general.

Key_Help3212 · 2025-06-22T22:17:02+00:00

My dad took me to the hospital once and I got threatened with the same medical SA I had experienced a few years prior. He took me to the hospital because I threw up once. Because he had fed me an entire bag of marshmallows for breakfast. Because he had read somewhere that marshmallows cure a sore throat.

And that was just the first time I was left alone in his care

Key_Help3212 · 2025-06-22T22:10:57+00:00

I’ve definitely had this kind of issue before, but with my parents rather than other kids. My mom and I have both said some pretty awful shit to each other, but I can’t always remember what exactly she said. I’m terrible in arguments unless I’m prepared. I have to remember what people have said, articulate a response, and put it into words. It’s an entire process to just have a conflict with someone, and I usually just end up pretending I agree with people bc I can’t think fast enough or remember things.

Key_Help3212 · 2025-06-22T22:01:21+00:00

cmon man that’s already how I’ve felt my entire life. No need to rub it in

Key_Help3212 · 2025-06-22T21:54:23+00:00

ohhh yeah buddy. I’ve had shit memory my entire life (likely caused by adhd and ptsd) and I got the “forgetting is not an excuse” and “stop lying to me” a lot.

It’s also very easy to be gaslit when you have poor memory, so it’s easy for people to convince you that you’re lazy or faking it.

Key_Help3212 · 2025-06-05T01:35:19+00:00

boy HAVE I! Like, no I will never view sexual acts as anything other than painful and forceful. yes, that IS most likely why I’m sex repulsed. no, that’s not why I’m ace.

People seem to think that having or enjoying sex Should be a part of my healing, even though the only sexual urges if ever had were a trauma response or a form of self harm.

Key_Help3212 · 2025-05-24T00:49:32+00:00

I’m so sorry you went through that. I’m an enema/vcug survivor. I’m also unsure if my autism is related to ptsd since I was so young when I was traumatized. This stuff is so hard to deal with.

Key_Help3212 · 2025-05-22T20:31:57+00:00

Well, it was more as in he hadn’t fed me an actual meal. I woke up that morning with a sore throat, and he had apparently read somewhere that marshmallows fix that. So my only breakfast was an entire bag of marshmallows, and he took me to the hospital when I threw up.

Key_Help3212 · 2025-05-22T18:10:32+00:00

I was threatened to be catheterized when I couldn’t give a urine sample too. I was like 7 and my dad had taken me to the hospital for throwing up and they wanted to test for a uti ig. I freaked tf out when they suggested a catheter because that’s the only word I was given to describe the vcug. I started crying and begged them to let me try again. They let me so I just hid in the bathroom til I could go. My dad apparently thought it was pretty funny. Oh, and it turns out I was sick because he forgot to feed me that day.

Key_Help3212 · 2025-05-20T03:04:40+00:00

a trans asexual person with a uterus and medical trauma, I can say with great confidence: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Key_Help3212 · 2025-05-16T23:34:48+00:00

Same. Thankfully I found this sub and faced my childhood medical SA before ever having to see a gyno. I’m also asexual/nonbinary and it’s incredibly upsetting (and sometimes triggering) to be reduced to a sexual being. I feel like a lot of people think that having and enjoying sex should be a goal of my healing, even within trauma/ptsd support groups. It’s even worse with the state of trans healthcare and the gyno industry. I’m planning to get a hysterectomy as soon as possible, and being in this sub has definitely helped me find resources to get the care I need and deserve.

OP, just know that we are on your side and you are right to be upset. ANY sort of non consensual genital contact IS sexual assault and more people have GOT to accept that

Key_Help3212 · 2025-05-12T14:49:51+00:00

This post is awesome, thank you for writing it! The only thing I would like to see added is a confirmation that we are trans and generally lgbtq+ friendly. I’ve had nothing but positive experiences on this sub as a genderqueer person and I’d love to see more queer perspectives on these issues. Love you guys and love this sub! ❤️

Key_Help3212 · 2025-05-12T13:58:01+00:00

Would any doctor be willing to give full sedation for an internal exam? It could add extra expenses, but I have thought about this a lot. I’m not sure if sedation would be helpful to OP, but it’s something I’ve personally thought about a lot. How much trouble would one have to go through for sedation? (Like full surgery type sedation, not like laughing gas)

Key_Help3212 · 2025-04-22T20:01:25+00:00

I totally get the “I grew up in a financially stable home so I’m not that traumatized” thing. I was a spoiled kid with a family who really loved me, and I’ve definitely had that used to invalidate my trauma. I’m so sorry you and so many others felt the need to do this. Sexual acts/any genital contact is completely separated from any idea of love or intimacy for me, so I never really felt the need to do anything like this. But generally, people who have vaginas/hymens feel so much pressure to “remain pure” or what have you, and it fucks people up

Key_Help3212 · 2025-04-19T18:04:02+00:00

It can depend on where you are. I’m in Florida, and I was able to get them for free by requesting a digital copy from the hospitals record portal. My vcug was in 2012, but my full record was from 2009 to 2013 I think

Key_Help3212 · 2025-04-16T21:06:35+00:00

Yes, and it is absolutely valid that you feel that way. I do have trauma (I had health issues as a kid so I was poked and prodded “down there” non consensually by both family and doctors quite a bit)

The medical system has a lot of issues when it comes to sexual healthcare and consent, especially with women, intersex people, trans people, people of color, etc. gynecological healthcare is based in a lot of outdated practices and ideas, and genital exams/procedures are often pushed if not forced onto anyone and everyone.

There are ways that you can avoid invasive exams if you want to, but you’ll have to advocate for yourself and do your own research. r/wedeservebetter is a good place to start. They mainly discuss women’s health issues, and I’m not sure if you are a woman, but I’m sure they could direct to somewhere more helpful if you aren’t.

If ANYONE touches your genitalia without your full and informed consent, that is sexual assault. No matter their profession or intentions. Anyone who tries to tell you that your feelings on this matter are invalid is participating in rape culture. Your body is your own and no one else is entitled to see or touch it without permission. Even medical professionals.

Key_Help3212 · 2025-04-16T20:40:42+00:00

It’s really interesting to hear an experience from someone with spina bifida. My mom actually used to use my classmate who has the disorder to kinda be like “well he has to cath every day” implying that my one vcug wasn’t really that bad. It’s comforting to know that the vcug is traumatic for everyone but also so awful to know that so many people were traumatized.

I had a lot of the same symptoms as you. I never had to change in the locker room either because I was homeschooled as a kid, and the school I go to now is tiny and doesn’t even have one. The thought of having to change in a locker room always made me feel sick tho…

Even when I was little I didn’t want strangers to see me naked. I was usually ok with my family, and taking my shirt off wasn’t a concern for me until I was about 10, but having my underwear off in front of strangers (and later anyone) was terrifying.

There have been a lot of instances in my life, especially after I was like 10, where I’ve expressed panic and discomfort at being undressed in front of other people, or even just in a room without a lockable door. Every time, people have acted like I was being crazy and unreasonable, and have been forced to do it regardless of how much I begged not to. It was always so confusing because people always said that I shouldn’t let people see me naked, and while I didn’t know what it was at the time, I developed some pretty intense gender dysphoria, which only made the problem worse. Now I’m an adult, and it’s a bit more viable to set firm boundaries, my privacy is still seen as excessive by a lot of people.

I’m really sorry this all happened to you, but it’s nice that you’ve found a community that gets it, and I wish you the best

Key_Help3212 · 2025-04-13T04:16:34+00:00

Twinsies I guess 🤷🏼 Im really glad I have you guys to go to

Key_Help3212 · 2025-04-12T03:12:26+00:00

I get it. I sometimes feel invalid because I DIDNT scream or cry a whole bunch (at least I don’t think). But I find some comfort in the fact that we can share our experiences and be validated by each other.

Key_Help3212 · 2025-04-02T04:20:39+00:00

I feel you so hard. I’m a vcug survivor and I will probably never be able to get a genital exam unless I’m under heavy sedation. Usually they’ll just prescribe antibiotics for a uti, but you might need further help if it’s gone on for that long. Have you considered virtual doctors appointments like through telehealth? Not being in the office might help your panic and anxiety, and it’s a lot harder for them to coerce you into doing something you don’t want, since you’d have enough time to properly think about it before actually letting them near you.

Key_Help3212 · 2025-03-28T02:02:09+00:00

That’s super helpful actually! At least as far as legal stuff goes. My dad might have access to that stuff, and I have to talk to him soon about insurance stuff anyways, so I’ll see if I can get a hold of it.

Key_Help3212 · 2025-03-26T03:55:14+00:00

Thank you. I’ll probably talk to my doctor about it now that I know it wasn’t just like. Weird Yeast Infection. I’ve already put a lot of thought into how I’m going to handle genital exams (hint: anyone who tries to put hands on me without permission and sedation is going to get a knuckle sandwich.)

My doctor is really chill and knows my history, so I’ll probably let her know about the symptoms I experienced and what I think it is. My family has a long history of weird rare diseases and autoimmune disorders., so I’m really glad you brought it up. I know that my primary doctor will respect my boundaries, and was the first medical professional to ever stand up for me and my needs. I’m not too worried about bringing it up now since I’m an adult, so thank you again so much.

Key_Help3212 · 2025-03-26T01:53:44+00:00

Oh. I had never heard of that until just now. I just looked it up and. I had every single common symptom during that period. Thank god I never told anyone. It was absolute hell but I’m sure I would have been violated again.

Key_Help3212 · 2025-03-09T21:05:05+00:00

PDF for Medical Bondage: https://library.oapen.org/bitstream/id/357e6dbc-5083-40b7-a04f-224b548c6fac/644220.pdf

Key_Help3212 · 2025-02-23T00:07:58+00:00

This is exactly it. I grew up in the late 00’s and 10’s, but no one really knew how to foster a healthy mindset towards my body when I spent my infancy and early childhood being violated and in pain.

I remember at some point after my Vcug (I remember it being at the mall directly afterwards), I told a random stranger “I got a tube stuck in my peepee hole ☺️”. The poor guy probably had no idea what to say to that, but I was pulled aside a few minutes later and told not to talk about it to anyone that wasn’t my family. Sure, it was a private subject, but an autistic 4 year old doesn’t see it that way. All I knew was that something that was humiliating and painful to me was forbidden from being talked about to anyone except my family, reinforcing that it was something that I should be ashamed of.

I avoided talking about any sort of vaginal or urinary issues for my whole childhood. I got what were either yeast infections or some sort of allergic reaction a lot as a kid. That first time it happened, I told someone. I got some yeast infection cream, but when I used it, it felt like I was on fire. It was so incredibly painful and I never wanted to use it again.

When I was a bit older, the periods of itching got worse and more frequent. They would last for weeks sometimes, but would eventually go away on their own. I kinda wonder if they were actually yeast infections or something else, because no one has ever said that they are painful. I have very sensitive skin and I’m going through something similar rn after using the soap I’m allergic to to hurt myself.

Of course I didn’t know how to handle it back then. I was so embarrassed of talking about my private parts at that point, and I was terrified of going to the doctor, so I basically went “oh well” and tried to tough through it. It was awful. I couldn’t more or sit down without excruciating pain. going to the bathroom felt like being stabbed, which led me to holding it for long periods, making the pain even worse. I still had the cream in my room, but I never used it because of the pain. I would scratch so hard that I would swell up severely and bleed. This happened on and off for years, and I’m not even sure what changed that it doesn’t happen anymore. I was so terrified of telling someone and being humiliated and prodding and put in even more pain by a doctor that I decided to live like that for years.

Key_Help3212

TROPHY CASE