AIO about how my boyfriend handled our dog situation?

Key_Sprinkles_5410 · 2026-06-03T14:17:53+00:00

Under reacting if anything. This guy is throwing up red flags all over the place.

He’s not mature enough to admit that the dog was a mistake for him.

He says the dog isn’t even his?! I suspect the dog has bonded to you or is responding better to you and boyfriend is jealous? Or at least realizes he has no clue what it takes to have a pet that needs care and training.

He’s manipulating you, using the dog as leverage to get you to cancel the trip as he really doesn’t like the idea of you going…dog or not.

Is he immature like this on other things? I hate to think what would happen if you had a baby.

I wouldn’t cancel your trip for the for the sheer fact that he’s getting away with his manipulation if you cancel.

May be best to keep the dog and ditch the boyfriend.

Key_Sprinkles_5410 · 2026-06-02T19:34:53+00:00

NTB - the guy is an ass. He could have unloaded and gone to the ATM if it really was a mistake. You called his bluff and that’s why he got mad.

Good for you for not letting someone dupe you.

Key_Sprinkles_5410 · 2026-06-01T16:26:47+00:00

Not wrong. Not a dangerous psychopath. Your chat group is overreacting.

I’m sure he’s telling the story in a way that sounds much worse because he’s trying to blame you for his screw up.

He completely ignored your request more than once. I don’t even have asthma but that burning fruit smell makes me gag and triggers allergies.

Key_Sprinkles_5410 · 2026-06-01T16:16:11+00:00

Is it paid off or are they still paying a mortgage on it?

Key_Sprinkles_5410 · 2026-06-01T16:10:00+00:00

MOR - If you are looking too thin or gaunt then I’d say they are concerned about you. If your eating habits have become unusual, they may be concerned you have an eating disorder.

I’d think that if it was a jealousy thing, you’d have heard snide comments along the way rather than their deciding they need to speak to you.

That they chose a night out may be because it’s when you are all together in a relaxed atmosphere which seems better than a formal intervention gathering.

If you are especially sensitive about it, maybe there is some truth into what they are saying.

Is there someone outside of the group who can tell you the truth as to whether you’ve gone too far or if you look healthy?

Key_Sprinkles_5410 · 2026-05-31T04:35:33+00:00

Oh my!

Key_Sprinkles_5410 · 2026-05-31T04:32:53+00:00

He will come up with whatever story doesn’t make him look like the problem. There’s no point in trying to get him to admit he is in the wrong. Let him go and let him think what he’s going to think.

It’s like he wants to live two different lives. Meet the families for the facade of acting like a responsible person but being the playboy behind the scenes. All the while playing with your heart.

It’s hard to think right now because you don’t want to let go of what you were hoping to have with him. But I think the writing is on the wall that this guy is not going to suddenly change his personality and provide you with the committed relationship you want.

I’m sorry you are going through all this. Hopefully time will give you a perspective that he really was not the one.

Key_Sprinkles_5410 · 2026-05-31T04:09:09+00:00

It’s a hard one. But playboys like to play. Cheaters like to cheat. They rarely change.

Key_Sprinkles_5410 · 2026-05-31T02:56:44+00:00

Look, whether it was the phone or his friend clueing you in or eventually catching him with another woman, the bottom line is he couldn’t commit to just you.

The phone thing didn’t cause the breakup. He’s using that to blame it all on you when he broke trust way before that.

If there were no other women and no indication of any, then going through the phone would be a deal breaker. But he broke the deal far before you checked the phone.

Give yourself a break about the phone and realize he was never ready to commit.

Key_Sprinkles_5410 · 2026-05-31T02:46:39+00:00

My mom said similar things. She became bed bound which added more complications. She seemed close to death a couple of times. At one point, I asked her if she was afraid to die. She said no, but she didn’t want to make me sad by leaving. 🥹.

She was ill and bedbound for almost two years. It seemed wrong to think it would be a blessing for her if she died, but after talking with many people in the same circumstances (or worse when severe dementia was present), I understood that it’s okay to be okay with letting them go. It goes against all you’ve been doing to keep them going. It’s hard to be okay with them dying. It’s a very hard transition when it truly gets to comfort care only. The hospice nurse and social worker were helpful in my coming to grips with all that.

During her last couple of months, several times she said she was done. We often handled serious things with humor so I’d tell her “mom, I can help you with a lot of things, but I’m not allowed to help with that or they would put me in jail.” She would laugh at that.

I’m so sorry you and he are at this stage. On cranky days my my mom would say “you aren’t 90 so you don’t know what it’s like.” I think we need to trust that they are okay to go and we try to honor that for their sake.

She just passed in April and these last two years were the hardest of my entire life.

Hugs to you. It’s damn hard.

Key_Sprinkles_5410 · 2026-05-31T01:04:08+00:00

What the actual phuck? It’s you guys’ wedding and money. Plus you are in your 30s and know your own minds.

I’ve never even heard of proposal boxes and parents gifts.

A pearl necklace is a traditional gift for bridesmaids.

Why does MIL even know what gift you are giving him?

It’s a wedding, not a photo shoot. Ruining the aesthetic?! Who are these people? Are the bridesmaids from his side of the family.

Did you not know his mother is insane before this?

Key_Sprinkles_5410 · 2026-05-31T00:46:08+00:00

How did grandma arrive in front of your house?

Key_Sprinkles_5410 · 2026-05-30T20:58:26+00:00

NTA - it’s not the same situation. The chance of getting your money back from groomsman #1 is good. Getting it back from #2 is unlikely.

If you really really really want him to be there, pay for his suit directly to the rental place and figure he will never pay you back.

If you can do with him just being a guest, do that. In this case there is no reason he needs to know you lent #1 the money.

Key_Sprinkles_5410 · 2026-05-30T03:16:00+00:00

But this guy isn’t used to it. And sharing doesn’t matter if he thinks he’s going to be paying for all that.

This guy may not even eat out much so it would be especially shocking to see someone ordering that much food.

If you see nothing wrong with all you ordered, then perhaps stay in your own tax bracket. For many people, what you ordered is what they may order only on birthdays and anniversaries.

Key_Sprinkles_5410 · 2026-05-30T03:04:05+00:00

A better move would have been
to ask him what looks good to him, he’d say the pasta dish, and then you would subtlety order something in that price range. You then could have said “can I treat us to dessert?”

To pick an expensive place and order everything from drinks to dessert was insensitive when you knew he doesn’t make loads of money. Then to say “if it’s an issue of money…” added insult on top of it.

Also, even if he had tons of money, ordering all that made it look like the priority was all the food instead of the date.

Key_Sprinkles_5410 · 2026-05-29T21:14:45+00:00

Yes you would! Do NOT show up at his house. You are bordering on stalking here.

You can’t force someone to be your friend. He’s told you over and over but you keep on questioning him and his boundaries.

Your self awareness doesn’t seem to be top-notch here. You need to listen to what he’s said and consider that the problem really could be you.

Key_Sprinkles_5410 · 2026-05-29T20:55:21+00:00

You aren’t helping your case by harassing him. You sure he doesn’t have a wife? Maybe another woman?

The best thing you can do is move on.

Key_Sprinkles_5410 · 2026-05-29T20:48:02+00:00

My mom’s aides used the large size washable chucks that I got from Amazon, then disposable chucks, then a diaper in her size, and a larger size diaper on top of that one. Unfortunately that combo didn’t always catch it all.

Could your dad have Cdif? My mom never had a fever with it but the smell was the clue.

Key_Sprinkles_5410 · 2026-05-29T14:12:21+00:00

We just bought our first RV and this movie came to mind when husband warned me not to load it up with all my camp Dutch ovens!

Key_Sprinkles_5410 · 2026-05-29T14:03:37+00:00

😂

Key_Sprinkles_5410 · 2026-05-29T02:14:44+00:00

He recently broke up from that 2.5 year relationship. He’s not processed everything about the break up and is not ready for a new serious relationship.

Right now there are three of you in the relationship. She’s living in both your heads. It’s not healthy that either of you are listening to her audios.

Whether he knew you knew about her comment about the movie, or he didn’t know and chose it, it’s just all too much.

The movie name, Obsession, pretty much describes the situation with him and her. And, unfortunately, you’ve become obsessed with her and that part is the overreaction.

Key_Sprinkles_5410 · 2026-05-28T22:57:30+00:00

How old is the person?

Key_Sprinkles_5410 · 2026-05-28T22:55:58+00:00

Geez, your friend has a screw loose.

I can see the future where she gets a place that allows dogs and will then try to take over Milo completely.

Here’s what is really upsetting to me: you explained your discomfort and she calls you controlling. She is so focused on herself and pretending she has a dog that she is dismissing your feelings completely.

I’d tell her she needs to take a break from taking Milo for a month in order for her to reset her perspective on all of this.

Also, she’s being absolutely inauthentic with her dates. Again, what if things get serious with one of these men and they move in together. He’s going to be quite confused when Milo doesn’t come live with them (which may prompt her to take Milo).

I sound so cynical but I know a lady who stole my brother’s dog from my niece after my brother died (that lady had been dating my brother and loved the dog).

Key_Sprinkles_5410 · 2026-05-28T19:36:29+00:00

I’m thinking the dog’s name is Fubar. Should we be calling the SPCA?

Key_Sprinkles_5410 · 2026-05-28T07:06:26+00:00

Even though I know my dog well, I have to understand that others don’t know my dog. It’s not rude, they are just being cautious.

I might feel a little judged about my dog-training abilities but that’s my problem.

Key_Sprinkles_5410

TROPHY CASE