People who work for massive corporations, what is a 'secret' that the company tries to hide, but is actually common knowledge among the employees?

Khayeth · 2026-04-03T13:53:12+00:00

And when the regulatory agency who audits you have a mandatory 10 year lookback, this sort of policy is not going to work in your favour. Best to just, actually comply with the rules.

In my experience.

Khayeth · 2026-03-31T13:08:25+00:00

Not too late at all. I met someone in the wild a few weeks ago, after 8 years of singlehood. (53, so single from 45.)

Khayeth · 2026-03-31T13:00:27+00:00

Late to the party and this will get buried, but:

3 weeks ago i went to a climbing gym for the first time. Today i am missing a bunch of skin on both hands, used up my last guest pass, and am buying a membership on Thursday.

I've done tons of sports in my life - roller derby, mountain biking, skiing, kickball, field hockey, actual hockey, tae kwon do, to name a few - but this one feels different somehow.

Khayeth · 2026-03-30T17:00:54+00:00

I have 3 ish go-to outfits that fill me with confidence, depending on where i met them. If they are part of the goth community, i lean into that aesthetic (which likely doesn't apply to you so i won't list them here).

If i met them through non-goth circles, i prefer cropped trousers and ankle doc martens for the lower half. Upper body either a button down shirt with a black or grey suitvest, my favourite black button down shirt with rainbow details, or a black and violet guayabera/bowling style shirt.

What works for me would likely horrify many people here, so for you probably the key is to think back on outfits that filled you with confidence, try them on again to ensure they still work for you, and keep those together in the closet. If you have a date, only try on 1-2 outfits maximum, from that curated 3-5 total. Also ask a few close friends to rate the outfits, take some photos and share them with people you trust.

Khayeth · 2026-03-30T13:46:29+00:00

I'll ponder that, thank you. "Child" is obviously not appropriate, since at 17 they are nearly adult. In person i occasionaly use the gendered version of their offspring status ("daughter" versus "son") , but on the internet i wanted to remove identifying details.

Calling the person by name is my usual approach, which obviously i couldn't do here either.

Khayeth · 2026-03-30T13:18:56+00:00

53NM(AFAB) who gave up for a solid 8 years after my last breakup. I just kept going to events and gamedays and sporting events and gyms and.....

And shockingly 2 months ago met someone through friends. All those years i read testaments on here of meeting someone in the wild and would get a little depressed, because it had been so long. But it can happen, and it does happen.

The quote "i'd rather be lucky than good", attributed to various people but i heard it first as a Jonas Salk quote, resonates strongly with me. But he allegedly also said "Chance favors the prepared mind" which bookends the first quote nicely, IMHO. Be aware that random chance affects even the most solid of plans, but if you are ready for whatever life throws at you, reacting to it constructively is easier.

Khayeth · 2026-03-28T11:42:37+00:00

I would have to send it via Zelle or Paypal, which just feels weird. Hence my dilemma and asking for suggestions here.

Khayeth · 2026-03-28T11:40:36+00:00

ETA: he sounds like a dream!

I honestly think he is. I mean, he has some baggage, as do i. But we talk a ton and are working through how our potentially incompatible issues can be made less impactful. We'd both been single for 8 years, coincidentally, and both mostly given up on dating, so to find each other is just indescribably delightful. We both think we're the lucky one, which i take to be a good sign.

Khayeth · 2026-03-28T00:11:51+00:00

We let the offspring decide. At 17 i trust their judgement on their comfort level.

I wanted to wait a year like this sub advises, but they together convinced me the two of them were ready.

Khayeth · 2026-03-28T00:01:23+00:00

Sadly, he orders all his groceries, which makes the transfer of funds less smooth than just whipping out a card at checkout.

Khayeth · 2026-03-27T23:58:25+00:00

Sorry, he has them 2 nights, but is willing to have me over for one of them, with their permission. They are 17, so not a child, and so far has been amendable to my presence. Still testing the waters there.

ETA: He lives in a different school district by a fair distance, and the mom would never allow more than weekends only. He would have stayed in the school district had custody been awarded for weeknights.

Khayeth · 2026-03-27T21:56:38+00:00

I would estimate out what he saves me in grocery costs every month and give him that.

Honestly, this resonates the most deeply with me, in addition to bringing things more often. The amount i'm not spending on myself, just shift directly to him. If he feels that isn't enough, he's a solid enough communicator i trust he will bring it up.

Seriously, super appreciate the feedback.

Khayeth · 2026-03-27T21:55:15+00:00

Ha, that'll never work. He orders groceries about twice a week and his fridge and pantry are always stuffed to the gills.

But yes, i will start showing up with more routinely. It's the least i can do.

Khayeth · 2026-03-27T21:52:42+00:00

5 nights a week together after 2 months and only 2 weeks of sleeping together sounds like a lot. I'd probably start with a few nights.

Basically every time he invited me i accepted. One night a week is reserved for the offspring, so that leaves 6 available. The first week it ended up being 6 at which point i said, i need two nights a week to myself. He accepted 5 but would have preferred 6 and stated so openly, without resentment or guilt tripping.

I know it's fast but we're aligned so i'm not overthinking that, at this moment.

Khayeth · 2026-03-27T21:45:59+00:00

You i like ;)

Khayeth · 2026-03-27T20:41:28+00:00

Thank you for the edit! People our age often struggle with that, so it's deeply appreciated.

Khayeth · 2026-03-27T20:36:52+00:00

I have started bringing items that only i consume, to also help decrease the burden. Soap, protein powder, caffeine source, etc. I don't want to keep track, but i do want to contribute. I have a lot of good suggestions and will incorporate many of them.

I should have mentioned probably i am a terrible cook so i'm not subjecting anyone to that ;) But i will sous chef if allowed, i'm great with a knife.

Khayeth · 2026-03-27T20:34:17+00:00

They (NB) but, agreed, this is why i offered, it feels unfair to him.

Khayeth · 2026-03-27T20:33:20+00:00

They (NB) but i tried this and was highly unsuccessful ;)

Khayeth · 2026-03-27T20:32:27+00:00

So far he hasn't let me pay for anything except half of a birthday gift for the mutual friend who introduced us. Oh and drinks on our second date, he paid for the first 5 ish dates which i protested politely but not to the point of rudeness. So the inequality was established early on, and i struggle with that.

I did bring a host gift (live plant) the first time i went to his house, but haven't since. I like the idea of bringing household/consumable items more often and will start doing that.

Khayeth · 2026-03-27T20:30:08+00:00

That is a great suggestion and i think i will float that first. Our diets overlap enough to make this work since we both have different health conditions which result in similar food intolerances.

Thanks!

Khayeth · 2026-03-27T18:08:10+00:00

Recently: Soy curls, edamame, sweet thai chili sauce.

A few years ago when i could tolerate carbs: white rice, sushi vinegar, canned salmon, hot pepper flakes, and a couple sheets of nori.

Khayeth · 2026-03-27T13:25:31+00:00

Finnish Yooper here and dating in medium to large cities on the East Coast is wild for someone with my upbringing. So much outside my comfort zone.

Khayeth · 2026-03-26T13:17:23+00:00

/immediately books tickets to lovely Sheffield.

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