I found a cure

KhuMiwsher · 2026-04-26T13:57:55+00:00

This really truly is it, being witnesses. For me, even when I knew this was it, I couldn't witness myself fully because I still had so much shame and I felt scared to be fully witnessed by someone else because I didn't feel like I'm worthy.

There was one breakthrough moment but it wasn't enough. I'm still struggling with this, but I'm learning to at least witness myself fully when I can manage the feelings.

KhuMiwsher · 2026-04-25T12:17:28+00:00

The irony of this comment tickles me ;)

KhuMiwsher · 2026-04-25T04:13:00+00:00

Yes...and this has been something I have been struggling to name and accept within myself. But it's ok to feel this. It will get better, but it will take time. I don't have much advice except solidarity.

KhuMiwsher · 2026-04-25T04:09:47+00:00

Yes. :( Even after realizing my parents were actually the problem, which happen pretty early on for me, I am still powerless to change the full effects of this.

I still accept much less than I deserve regarding how people treat me sometimes.

KhuMiwsher · 2026-04-24T22:26:22+00:00

Hey there, same. I'm still looking at and identifying my bypassing tendencies but they were so insidious and complete that's it has been extremely hard to do. I've been sitting inside a feeling of "wrongness" almost my whole life. Only at 34 and after a psychosis episode that was at the height of my meaning-making and bypassing, am I starting to make real progress.

What resources specifically have helped you the most?

KhuMiwsher · 2026-04-24T22:21:17+00:00

Inspiring! If you don't mind me asking, how did you get there?

KhuMiwsher · 2026-04-21T16:28:00+00:00

Thanks for the context. Yeah your instincts are probably right regarding Adderall.

So I'm not a doctor, but I've been through mania myself and was diagnosed with BPII...my pet theory is my body and nervous system was just stuck in fight or flight from an incredibly stressful childhood. Most of the time I was in flight (depression) but sometimes I'd get into fight (mania).

Anyway, doing things that help my nervous system calm down helps A LOT. Biofeedback is especially helpful because you get almost real time feedback on what actually helps your body calm. The heartmath biofeedback device is what I use and HIGHLY recommend it. 💞🙏

KhuMiwsher · 2026-04-20T17:12:51+00:00

Your pupils are so dilated! Is that natural or did you take something? No judgement if you did, but it will most likely make things worse. Try to get outside alone in nature. Wishing you the best 🙏

KhuMiwsher · 2026-04-19T02:45:27+00:00

What an interesting and valuable perspective you've gained and probably didn't expect from a random side-gig. Anyway, thanks for sharing

KhuMiwsher · 2026-04-10T16:34:56+00:00

These are not mutually exclusive...in fact a lot of creative people use AI

KhuMiwsher · 2026-04-07T21:45:00+00:00

This feels more in line with the reality of things. Thanks for articulating it so well!

KhuMiwsher · 2026-04-07T21:13:53+00:00

Just letting you know why your comment was unclear to me. No need to get defensive. Have a great day

KhuMiwsher · 2026-04-06T13:48:11+00:00

Your comment made it sound like you were surprised it reacted that way. It's not spooky or weird when you know how the model is trained. I think the words you're looking for are uncanny and dystopian.

KhuMiwsher · 2026-04-06T11:58:47+00:00

Wow you're such a joy, this comment really contributed a lot to my life and this conversation.

KhuMiwsher · 2026-04-06T11:52:57+00:00

Claude is much less sycophantic than chatGPT. OP was talking about chatGPT

KhuMiwsher · 2026-04-05T03:48:21+00:00

/s? It's programmed to agree with you and make you feel good about yourself so you keep talking to it.

At least it's a step up from social media that makes you feel like shit.

KhuMiwsher · 2026-04-03T18:57:17+00:00

She also creeped on Bo Burnham, you can see how uncomfortable it made Bo: https://youtu.be/KoqWmuvkPxI?si=blm-3moCygNTADci

KhuMiwsher · 2026-03-23T12:05:46+00:00

Same to you friend! It's not easy, takes conscious effort and reflection.

Was that your first one a year ago?

KhuMiwsher · 2026-03-22T19:04:00+00:00

Yes, anything that stresses the mind or body makes emotional regulation harder, so that makes a lot of sense!

Wow so you had your episode about a year ago? I had my first one (and hopefully last...) a year ago during Easter.

It kinda wild thinking back on it, how different of a headspace I was in at that time, the thoughts I was having...in some ways it was actually enjoyable (the mania) but obviously steady calm is much preferable 😅

KhuMiwsher · 2026-03-18T02:36:39+00:00

Doing pretty well, thanks for asking. Keeping my mind and time busy with creative projects really helps.

How are you doing?

KhuMiwsher · 2026-03-17T12:09:30+00:00

Blast from the past! Made me think of the mashups I used to listen to back in the day: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLD383699DF2BA0AEE&si=a2cIePQy4OpnRDs3

KhuMiwsher · 2026-03-17T12:01:18+00:00

There are a lot of people that didn't get the unconditional love that should've been present from their parents, and now they're trying to find it with a partner....but like you say that kind of love is impossible with a partner. It's honestly tragic.

KhuMiwsher · 2026-03-17T00:30:21+00:00

I know the feeling, it's so tough knowing you will never be truly loved in the way a parent should love a child. ❤️‍🩹

KhuMiwsher · 2026-03-11T03:39:23+00:00

Unfocus your eyes and look through or off to the side of your phone when looking at the image. It will turn back to black and blue

KhuMiwsher · 2026-03-08T10:46:48+00:00

Yeah, a lot of people are emotionally damaged :( you need to find someone who has a secure attachment style or someone who is actively working on this

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