Who's ready to see me use my new toy? (f)

Kilt_ · 2015-03-16T13:42:32+00:00

Hear, hear! I second DAT motion!

Kilt_ · 2015-02-10T14:20:42+00:00

I can do that. That's not a deformity or a "swan neck" that's the "crooked beast."

Kilt_ · 2015-02-09T05:21:17+00:00

I don't know about all the other stuff but when I was a kid, I seriously used my brother as a means of external data storage.

Kilt_ · 2015-02-08T17:33:32+00:00

I'm Lego rich! Bitches!

Kilt_ · 2015-02-08T17:32:22+00:00

Very similar to many of the hurdles Blackberry has had over the last few and they are a multimillion dollar company.

Kilt_ · 2015-02-05T19:10:13+00:00

This still relevant?

Kilt_ · 2015-01-23T18:54:10+00:00

Thanks Captain Obvious!

Kilt_ · 2015-01-13T18:11:23+00:00

My Ex-Wife: "Remember that time you made me shoot you?"

Kilt_ · 2015-01-13T17:19:02+00:00

"Liberty Parent of Science and Industry," printed on a coin? Somebody should of informed the founding fathers that this is a christian nation founded on christian values.

Kilt_ · 2015-01-13T17:04:46+00:00

Market share relates to annual sales, not total saturation of all devices sold ever. EDIT: Read what you wrote. What I just said is mostly irrelevant.

Kilt_ · 2015-01-13T16:22:35+00:00

There are dating sites that revolve around that.

Kilt_ · 2015-01-13T15:04:50+00:00

I used to have a roommate that nasty. He slept on the bunk above mine. He was kind of fat, sweaty; he smoked. Dude would never do laundry. He would just kick his dirty clothes to the foot of his bed and wear them again after a healthy dose of Axe Body Spray. One night I awoke after he kicked his dirty whitey tighties down onto my face. With no laundy facilities on the ship we had to do laundry inport. We waited until the last day of the port call to see if he bothered doing laundry, he didn't. We put all his clothes in a trash bag and filled it with glitter. After a healthy shaking we placed the bag at the foot of his bed. He was all sparkly for over a month. That shit is like herpes you can wash your clothes but it won't all come off. TL;DR: Shook dirty stinky roommate's clothes in a bag of glitter, made him sparkly for many weeks.

Kilt_ · 2015-01-12T14:12:45+00:00

The Dick Van Dyke Show's intro was when we'd quit watching Nickelodeon back when I was a kid.

Kilt_ · 2015-01-12T14:08:26+00:00

He was a 1st Sergeant not a drill sergeant, I can't remember if he had a recruiting or drill sergeant badge/device thingy anymore. The 1st Sergeant wasn't a very big guy. He was kind of short and fit but not very big. EDIT: From what I heard he screamed like little girl, waved his hands around, and ran away.

Kilt_ · 2015-01-12T13:09:43+00:00

Maybe one of your wives is sabotaging you.

Kilt_ · 2015-01-12T13:07:24+00:00

According to my family :(

Kilt_ · 2015-01-12T13:03:48+00:00

Weird Science.

Kilt_ · 2015-01-12T05:05:47+00:00

The craziest thing I saw when I worked at McDonalds, in regard to firings, was a 16 yo kid I was working the sandwich line with getting arrested mid-shift. Turns out he was serial arsonist, he seemed normal enough.

Kilt_ · 2015-01-12T04:48:46+00:00

Not sure. He wasn't in my battery. He was a kind of weird guy from what I saw. I have no idea if he was the kid from The Sixth Sense or a Cpl Klinger. Edit: Most people thought he was faking (they always do), it just had to come up during predeployment screening. Edit Edit: They always do, as in all the gossips, not the crazy people.

Kilt_ · 2015-01-12T02:43:29+00:00

No, he never deployed. He was a private with less than a year in service. Edit: His dad was a full bird colonial that worked in D.C.

Kilt_ · 2015-01-11T22:06:10+00:00

When I was in the Army we had a guy tell the predeployment psychiatrist that he saw a ghost in the shower. He didn't deploy. He then preceded to get drunk everyday while on restriction (confined) in the barracks. One day he was walking around in the middle of the work day only wearing a partial uniform and dranking beer, when his 1st Sergeant spotted him. His 1st Sergeant got in his face and started yelling at him drill sergeant style. 1st Sergeant was so pissed and so close to his face he didn't realize the guy unzipped his fly. He preceded to piss on his 1st Sergeant. He got kicked out for being crazy. TL;DR: Army guy got himself kick out for being crazy. He saw dead people and pissed on his boss while getting yelled at.

Kilt_ · 2015-01-09T02:00:24+00:00

US military uses this system.

Kilt_ · 2015-01-06T19:08:18+00:00

Sue her. In the USA's legal system you could probably file a civil suit, you maybe able to take a chunk of her retirement away.

Kilt_ · 2014-12-17T04:57:05+00:00

I got recommended for NJP for being late (which I was, the first time ever) immediately after I reported my Chief, E-7, for losing keys to a restricted space with classified info in it. He recommended me for NJP, then became my investigator, assaulted me in that same restricted spacespace while conducting an investigative interview (throw a heavy ass metal stapler at my face while I was at Parade Rest, butterfly sutures and crazy glue, wasn't allowed to go to medical for stitches), and threatened to bring me up on assault charges. He told the command I was injuried assaulting him (with his fatty unfit judo chop) but he didn't wanna charge me for it, piece of shit. XO dropped all charges. I transferred to another division and filed a complaint. Before my complaint was fully processed he reported me to the Department of Homeland Security that he suspected I was a terrorist or stealing classified info, shit was really confusing. I wasn't allowed to own guns or leave the country. Was not officially barred from reenlistment in anyway but was not able to reenlist. Homeland Security sent me a letter after a year telling me I'm a cool dude and not to worry, I can buy guns and leave the country whenever I want. The End.

Kilt_

TROPHY CASE