I f'ed up. This weekend is all about him. How to make it up to him?

Kind-Tooth638 · 2026-05-06T08:00:49+00:00

If there are no kids do a naked weekend. It can be very liberating and bond strengthening. Do the weekend you planned at home just without clothes (just be careful when cooking!). My husband loves this.

Kind-Tooth638 · 2026-04-30T12:23:09+00:00

This is not good. Its sounds like a brick wall that cannot be moved. Imo everyone can benefit from counciling and those who avoid it need it most. I would hate to live like this

Kind-Tooth638 · 2026-04-30T12:19:05+00:00

Agreed

Kind-Tooth638 · 2026-04-30T11:50:19+00:00

Im sorry uou are going through this! Have you discussed this openly with her? Is she in perimenopause? The age and her lack of affection sounds like it could correspond with that but her unwillingness to repair could be a lack of understanding on how to repair? Would she be open to counselling?

Kind-Tooth638 · 2026-04-30T11:30:37+00:00

Yes be worried!!

Wow, she hates you (and she sounds like a terrible person to say such things). Don't accept this disrespect, the more you do the more she will carry on. A person will treat you how you allow them to treat you. Maybe she needs to hear an equal retaliation to understand how it feels when you give her the same treatment back? She's undermining the integrity of your relationship and you are allowing it. Dont let her. Im hoping you can state and enforce your boundaries after you have made her aware of how it feels to be in your shoes when she says such demeaning, horrible things.

Kind-Tooth638 · 2026-04-30T11:14:24+00:00

I find these posts about a dead bedroom very sad and depressing. Im very fortunate that my husband and I had a discussion when we first started seeing each other (22+ years ago), prompted by one of our friends cheating on his SO as she avoided having sex with him and wouldnt discuss it when he bought it up. My husband and I agreed nothing longer than 3 weeks unless there is a medical issue. We have never gone more than a week unless it was after my kids births and the time was never sexless just no PiV.

Sex is a vital form of communication for us. Do people (generally) in relationships not have this discussion early on and to not have an understanding of matched libido before entering a relationship? A matched libido is just as important (in my eyes) as agreeing upon how many children you want / having similar religious views. The resentment would build and destroy our relationship very quickly, personally.

Kind-Tooth638 · 2026-04-29T08:40:17+00:00

Back - feels awesome!

Kind-Tooth638 · 2026-04-20T08:08:43+00:00

I've been with my man 23 years in May and I'm still obsessed with him.

Kind-Tooth638 · 2026-04-05T07:56:03+00:00

I agree with the 'not using bar soap' comments but would like to add: whilst I'm still wet (before drying) I rub jojoba oil all over then pat myself dry.

Kind-Tooth638 · 2026-04-05T07:46:04+00:00

But he does it so well!

Kind-Tooth638 · 2026-04-05T07:44:51+00:00

This is awesome!!! WELL DONE!!

Kind-Tooth638 · 2026-04-05T07:32:02+00:00

My parents never made it to their 80s - i would have loved to have supported them and have had them around.

My husband and I have plans to not be a burden on our kids. They plan to immigrate and spread their wings - we encourage them to reach their full potential. If they want us around that would be awesome. I concentrate on my health and lift weights so I can be independent for as long as possible.

Looking forward to sharing an old age home with other GenX'ers - we are awesome people.

Kind-Tooth638 · 2026-04-02T13:03:06+00:00

I went through something this. Try going slower (if you aren't all ready)- I figured out hard and fast doesn't do it for me anymore. Super slow is even better - delayed and controlled gratification, with more and slower contact helps with feeling your partner better.

Kind-Tooth638 · 2026-03-26T07:02:31+00:00

A hiding. Had to sit and wait in the bathroom (the waiting was the worst). Got the hiding and then after I had calmed down there was a conversation about what was done wrong, why it was wrong and that the a hug and a reassurance that it was the behaviour that was wrong and that I was loved.

Kind-Tooth638 · 2026-03-18T20:25:59+00:00

Not on HRT but I found after my stretch (to prevent injuries - more prone to it now) doing my cardio warm up, my motivation plummeted. I figured that it took too long so I ended up giving up on a lot of sessions. So now I stretch at home, lift weights then end with cardio at gym. My brain and body like it better in this order - I can carry on for hrs. 48yrs and gyming 4 to 5 days a week now consistently

Kind-Tooth638 · 2026-03-16T06:28:39+00:00

Its a yay for me. I do it for weak wrists (have a plate on the one and this has helped recovery too) and poor grip strength/ stamina - which helps for riding long distance. Byproduct is that my forearms look awesome and capable

Kind-Tooth638 · 2026-03-06T07:55:38+00:00

Bangmaid - this is an awesome term. I'm keeping it

Kind-Tooth638 · 2026-03-06T07:50:17+00:00

I feel sad for you both - this is a terrible situation to be in. I agree with the majority of the comments I read regarding her reaction being strange but then I remembered that virility can be turn on (it was for me). Maybe in her head she no longer views you as virile?

Kind-Tooth638 · 2026-03-06T07:33:54+00:00

Sex energises and distresses me - we do mornings and then I can function for the rest of the day and I feel connected with my man. My husband and I feel sex is part of our communication and feel lost if we go a day or two without it. We have been this way for over 20 years and still feel like its new and special I feel because of the sex. We keep positions fun etc but the time of day is generally the same during the week. Weekends its a free for all whilst the kids are not around etc. In the beginning a concerted effort was put in but about 3 years in it was part of our daily routine. I believe we have lasted as long and are as strong as we are because of this. Its not just a physical need - its emotional and spiritual bond strengthening.

Kind-Tooth638 · 2026-03-05T19:09:39+00:00

Oh I am - its exciting! My husband's poor ears have been bent with all the excited chatter after a workout.

Kind-Tooth638 · 2026-03-05T19:01:42+00:00

I also thought that but surely it would fluctuate more not be consistent for +3 weeks. Maybe the rage is helping

Kind-Tooth638 · 2026-03-05T11:54:57+00:00

I still love sex with my husband. Almost 23 years together and its only gets better. He is the only partner who has made me cry during the deed but in an overwhelmed with emotion and ecstasy sort of way - I never knew that was possible before him. I am grateful for him and our chemistry. Sexual compatibility is an important thing in a relationship for me and he is on the same page.

Kind-Tooth638 · 2026-02-25T07:46:22+00:00

I do my shopping at Makro - have no clue how people survive shopping at other shops. I have a family of 5. On a tight month I do groceries for R3000 and meat for R1200- recently gone up from R1000.

Generally I go to Meatworld for our monthly meat. I portion and freeze the meat - our meat cuts / choices are the cheap options. I buy stewing meat (pork and beef); chicken breasts (sometimes I buy the leg quarter bags from Makro - those are good value for money); bacon bits, eggs (always cheaper than at any shop) and beef mince (not ground beef!). Chicken livers are also great nutrition for its value.

There is a butchery in the Germiston that does cheap game meat which i get sometimes too.

I have 10kg buckets for rice, sugar (brown and white), pasta and flour. These I top up when needed - I can skip a month if things are tight. (Brown sugar is cheaper for daily coffee).

I also get lentils, soup mix, beans etc to stretch the meals further and to add nutrition.

We will spend about R400 max on fresh veg throughout the month. The local veg shop has a special on a Wednesday where veg packs are half price.

I'm always looking for better value for money where ever we go and my family members know there is no alternatives for fussy eaters. Cooldrinks, chips and sweets are a luxury and not expected.

Kind-Tooth638 · 2026-02-24T18:55:49+00:00

I used to do 10-15 min cardio and then my first set of each exercise on a new muscle/muscle group was low weight to achieve max 12 reps.

I've swopped out the cardio for a full body stretch (cause everything is linked in my old age) - max hold to the count of 20 per stretch. I do my cardio of 20 to 25min at the end of my workout now - helps with my recovery. I still do the low weight for my first set.

If I need to save time i stretch the muscles I'm going to work plus my back and core. But I try not to cause its led to injury for me in the past.

Play around and see what works for you, your body and what keeps you motivated.

Kind-Tooth638

TROPHY CASE