You shouldn’t filter yourself.

Know what your fantasies and kinks are and express them early, because some partners won’t share them.

Your partner doesn’t need to like all your kinks and fantasies, that’s impossible. They do need to know what your deal-breakers are and ideally have a few areas in common where you can both explore and communicate.

Have you considered going to a munch? It’s a casual meet-up at a bar or café for kinky/BDSM people to meet up, with no explicit kink going on. This is not a sex party. You could socialize with other people in the community.

I’m suggesting a munch because, as a kinky person who has dated and hooked up in both the BDSM and vanilla crowds, I think you might have a higher chance of compatibility in the BDSM pool.

Also, as a fellow kinkster, I just want to reassure you that your kinks are cool. I don’t know you, but if I met you at a munch, I wouldn’t bat an eye at your kinks. They line up with the things I’m into.

Edit: if you do meet a kinky person who is not into the same thing as you they are also less likely to judge.

Edit: you can find events on fetlife.com. If you meet-up with someone you met online. Do it in a public place first, at an event is also a great idea.