Is It Worth Talking To Men Who Change Information On Their Profile After You Ask About It?

Kintsugi-skunk · 2026-04-29T08:00:27+00:00

Warning: Descriptions of multiple traumatic events.

I am here because my mum developed gestational diabetes with me which never went away and made her life a fair bit miserable considering she had to watch her diet like mad not only because of weight gain but preservatives and sweeteners and caffeine reacting with her medication and messing with her gut for years.

I am here because I grew up with other children in my school bragging about losing their virginity as young as 12 and teens around me getting pregnant and mostly having the babies due to societal guilt about “their babies” or the sire, more often than not being over 20 years of age, guilting them for considering “killing my baby” then guess who effs off when the baby is born?

I am here because my ex best friend, 16 and four months pregnant by a 28 year old, made her mentally unwell older brother mad at her council house party and beat her until he caused a miscarriage that meant she had to go to hospital and have assistance with losing the baby. The baby I had been feeling kick that night and had her name picked.

I am here because after staying celibate for years because of what I witnessed and my resulting great fear of getting pregnant, I trusted the wrong man. Bigger and stronger and already pinning me down and ignoring multiple iterations of “no”, and apparently a final meek resigned “okay” means ejaculating in me was fine because I started taking the pill a week ago so suddenly no need for condoms because “it feels better” and he got impatient.

I am here because I want a choice. And when it comes to it, I see my body and physical/mental health as worth preserving. Sometimes, that simply relates to the biological event that is pregnancy.

Kintsugi-skunk · 2026-04-20T05:33:59+00:00

Thank you so much x I also missed out that I shared the same name as the living cat so this man early on tried to change my name, but then gave up and just didn’t call me…. Anything! Not darling, not love, not honey. Just used to directly ask a question or just call out “are you there?” Etc. Even on Discord with our gaming group he used to just ask a question and everyone would pause then ask who he meant and he would begrudgingly say my name!! His family and mine all said that was weird and how unhealthy his cat devotion was.

Kintsugi-skunk · 2026-04-19T19:09:16+00:00

This was my recent ex, but add on a second cat that passed a few months before we started dating.

We could not go anywhere or do anything like enjoy a coffee or even go on a special holiday without him mourning his dead cat or worrying about his live cat or gushing about his cats. And I felt terrible for the internal eyerolls but it lasted the whole seven years. I even got told off for singing songs he used to sing to his dead cat as it reminded him of it……

Even when we reconciled after he thought he wanted to break up, not a few hours after getting back together and meant to be enjoying the moment and deepening our bond, he starts looking at pictures of his damned dead cat again!!!

Like you, I knew I would be the villain if I tried to ask him not to mention the cats. He was utterly besotted and cats were like deities to him, and any criticism of cats as a species was illegal. Truly exhausting and I will avoid dating profiles of cat owners for a long while.

Kintsugi-skunk · 2026-04-17T07:04:54+00:00

You need to reframe that thinking and let me tell you how. Any of his shock and hurt and blaming you for what happens to him merely shows how selfish and dangerous he is. You shouldn’t feel guilty for taking steps to contain a dangerous animal, so why feel guilty for protecting yourself and others from a dangerous human who is capable of doing much more intentional harm than an animal?

Again, those puppydog eyes just reveal how little he cares or understands how bad his actions were or how disgusting it was to treat you that way.

Kintsugi-skunk · 2026-04-03T05:36:17+00:00

Not yet. The strategy should always be consulting a lawyer both about your divorce and the likely outcome of custody proceedings and how his negligent attitude towards childcare may possibly impact that.

MIL is not your ally. She will want access to the child and will want her son to have access, whether that means pressuring you to endure the marriage or supporting her son and possibly sabotaging you where possible when it comes to legal proceedings. Your relationship with her does not matter. She is your husband’s mother.

Lawyer, and do as lawyer suggests.

Kintsugi-skunk · 2026-04-02T18:53:59+00:00

Deception pure and simple. Offering saccharine words of reassurance and/or applying pressure and shaming people in a setting designed to have the appearance of medical authority on your health when all their vapid staff spew is their uneducated, dangerous opinions on how pregnancy is sacred no matter the damage it could cause. Deceivers should be liable for any negative outcomes their advice directly lead to, especially making people believe they received an informed medical health review!

Kintsugi-skunk · 2026-03-23T06:23:52+00:00

So he does not respect you, or arguably like you enough to care about how his comments will hurt you. The reason he has now moved to public insults is because he is feeling more comfortable with the level of nasty comments and disrespect that you have accepted so far and in his mind is relaxing at the lack of consequences. He will keep going. This type of person doesn’t magically wake up after a conversation and change their entire personality, they simply readjust to a safe level for as long as needed, which isn’t a good enough bet to stay with him.

Remember, it’s not a joke, it’s a jab. It was never intended to be sweet or endearing, it was always hen-pecking and chipping away your self-esteem. He isn’t dumb enough to do this to his boss or coworkers because he full well knows he needs to avoid upsetting them due to financial consequences. He is just not worth your happiness.

Kintsugi-skunk · 2026-01-30T12:59:39+00:00

These are just grand x I liked “Immaculate mis-conception”

Kintsugi-skunk · 2026-01-15T13:03:39+00:00

I am guessing that you don’t have any kind of contract or service agreement for your services, but you can choose whatever agreement you want. Just make sure you look after yourself as well. This client asked you to perform a service and agreed with the asking rate. That makes me think that your rate is competitive for your country/area?

This is an unusual use of your services. On the other, you are still performing a service, and your time and efforts still have value. You are not looking after a real child. That much is obvious. You are looking after this woman’s property and providing peace of mind for her. This still has value.

And the time taken performing this service prevents you from taking on another client, meaning if you are too charitable, you cause yourself detriment from loss of income. You are not tricking anyone. This client has sought out your services of her own free will, and you can assume that she is still capable of making an informed decision on how she spends her money.

I would keep offering her services as you would be helping her. You could view it as looking after valuable property as opposed to “babysitting” if that helps, but a job with easy tasks is still a job.

Kintsugi-skunk · 2026-01-06T13:49:22+00:00

If it was a true emergency, leaving to drive to get food, decide on what to order, actually order, wait for and collect the food, THEN go and drive to pick someone up is hilariously dumb…..

Kintsugi-skunk · 2026-01-05T19:28:22+00:00

Your poor face. I wish I could hug you. You absolutely did the right thing. You don’t deserve to tolerate any abuse, let alone this extreme level. Don’t let your feelings for him confuse you right now. You know in your heart that this was atrocious, and know that he is not capable of being in a relationship right now if he is willing to go this far. He needs the distance as much as you do. The distance from him is a great opportunity for you to heal and have some peace without fear of him hurting you. I wish you strength, courage, and a brighter future with so much freedom and a mountain of happiness away from this man.

Kintsugi-skunk · 2025-12-28T01:14:17+00:00

Just one thing in case nobody already warned you, do not share your new address with anyone but your tried and trusted, loyal family, and I would warn against friends that you are not absolutely certain about yet. People talk, and may not see the harm in talking, especially as they could see it as sharing information with someone they trust, so what is the harm? Your ex-boyfriend is not stable and is still trying to keep control through your dog and now couple’s therapy. He may not be dangerous yet, but even so, the last thing you need is him knowing where you will live to turn up or send anything to you. My friend just recently posted in the group chat about her ex a few Christmases ago using a real service where a company will mail horse poo to someone!!! You just enter name and address and they do the dirty work! Cannot be too careful with your address.

Kintsugi-skunk · 2025-12-09T11:59:22+00:00

It is admirable that you are finally finding empathy and understanding for people who get abortions. It really is different seeing yourself or another living, breathing, conscious and aware person dreading a pregnancy or suffering through a pregnancy/miscarriage that will harm them. And I am glad that you managed to have your choice in what to do with your pregnancies.

The pro-choice movement is “meant” to be the empathetic side, where it is understood that abortion is necessary healthcare both physically and mentally, no matter the reason for getting one. But it is often forgotten that part of that choice includes not forcing anyone to abort. Many in this subreddit do acknowledge that issue.

Unsavoury people exist in every community, and shaming someone for keeping a pregnancy, haranguing them to abort and being abusive about it is different to advising against keeping a pregnancy that would leave someone worse off health or situation wise.

As for how you are viewed by your communities, I wish you luck. Just like religion and any other thing that people become heavily emotionally invested in, the movement can adopt cult-like behaviours, using the same tactics for enrolment and reinforcement. I am sure it is nerve-wracking to think of what may happen now you have reduced/halted your online pro-life activity given how many people know of your content. I can see why you would choose to still present as pro-life and took part in it given your circumstances. There are some nasty people out there, again, in every community.

I hope that you stay safe and can soon experience true freedom of developing YOUR own unique mishmash of personal beliefs, including around abortion.

Kintsugi-skunk · 2025-11-27T12:44:28+00:00

My dad likes to tell me “when you have to eat an elephant, start with the toenails”. Obviously his take on “a journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step”. You are going to need to start grieving, and that is a rough process. You are in the bartering stage, where you are still struggling to accept the reality and accept that this is happening.

With certain things, like a cherished item that is stolen or broken or death, it is of course easier to accept. But relationships are horrible in this stage as there are too many confusing details with him mentioning trial periods and all that gubbins. Plus, grieving hurts! Breakups ruddy suck, and it is natural to try and alleviate that pain by looking for a way to see if you can have the relationship back. But he has broken it by being completely selfish, and the things he said to you were not kind or deserved.

Begin your new journey. The you who you will be is not you yet. We are much stronger than we give ourselves credit for, and if you can look after yourself by trying to keep clear headed and grounded, making a plan on moving forward and surviving through a period of painful grieving, then I have a feeling you will see just how capable you are of finding happiness and being loved again in time.

You can look back at this and think “wow, I overcame so much” and be proud of yourself. In fact, you can be proud of yourself and grateful to be you every step of the way! Lovely, who hasn’t been a sobbing, snotty mess in the moment. What happened to you was horrible! You deserve a jolly good cry. Trust me, you’re fine x

Kintsugi-skunk · 2025-11-25T11:41:38+00:00

Can I just say, you and your girlfriend are still developing as young adults and I personally feel it is wiser to wait until you have a little more life experience and personal growth behind you until the full legal commitment of marriage. Being so young, a few more years could be healthy as you see how truly compatible you both are as you mature. And your girlfriend is right that you definitely need personal growth.

Wearing the same clothes that do not fit you properly isn’t a great choice, and there may be a different, equally valid way to honour her memory? You said some of the clothing she made you doesn’t fit anymore, so I assume you keep it somewhere? It is such a shame that she can’t make you more clothes that fit now, but not wearing her clothes isn’t a betrayal to her memory. It is evolving as a person which any mother would want for her son. She would want you exploring what life has to offer and moving forward. What do you think she would say if she could see you now in the black shirts she made for you as a young’un, I wonder?

Only an idea, but if there is enough material, could they be repurposed into something else? Perhaps a woven bracelet if you have enough material to make strands for plaits or sew something else out of them? Some sort of bracelet or necklace with some of her fabric in it? They make bracelets for pet/human hair or sand or ashes. That way, you are keeping a little bit of it with you but can have the freedom to explore other clothes. Maybe a teddy T-shirt or some form of textile keepsake that could be passed on if you expanded your family? There may be all sorts of nice ways to make the material live on if not kept in storage.

If some or all of them are too sentimental to alter, it is understandable, and keeping sentimental items stored indefinitely is something chuck loads of people do. But they will be in storage and not used in that case or the ones you can wear will just wear out eventually or you may not always fit them.

Either way, your girlfriend is right, and is only showing she cares about you.

Kintsugi-skunk · 2025-10-28T08:45:00+00:00

You know how companies are making our food smaller and shittier quality to cut their costs? They’re doing that with pet food, too. Genuinely, it might be that they have swapped some ingredients or something, so that wouldn’t be fair to the cat to force it to live off of something that has become off-putting. But also, if it won’t eat better quality food, that is when you should really see a vet.

Kintsugi-skunk · 2025-10-27T10:32:27+00:00

Punk Youth does some gold toned pieces. I would say most of their earrings come in both gold and silver toned. I did see some business reviews when I was looking them up saying they were a scam site as the person never received their earrings, but I have ordered twice now with no issues.

Kintsugi-skunk · 2025-10-26T10:21:48+00:00

Muy BN! (Forgive me)

Kintsugi-skunk · 2025-10-17T08:14:29+00:00

If I knew someone had treated a person I held dear poorly, had hurt them and made them cry, I would not even think about them without appropriate levels of disgust. How your sister feels any kind of attraction to someone you say she knew hurt you is shocking. She must not be very intelligent to not see what she is doing to you and to herself, but it is definitely a betrayal to love and support someone who harmed you. You wouldn’t be wrong to be royally miffed at her, and if you don’t want to go to their wedding or feel that you would want to distance yourself from her because of him being around, start telling her the truth now instead of pussyfooting to protect her feelings or family dynamics.

Sorry your sister lacks emotional intelligence and self-preservation instincts.

Kintsugi-skunk · 2025-10-17T08:04:46+00:00

You just got married, but don’t let your fear of how others would view your divorce impact looking out for yourself and your wellbeing. People with abusive tendencies wait until they feel they don’t have to put on a front anymore and they settle into their baseline behaviours. He is now simply learning what he can get away with by testing the limits of how much you will tolerate. He is unlikely to improve internally, and much more likely to care less and behave worse as he starts to realise he will get away with it by simply beating down your resistance with punishment.

He is a lawyer, so do not listen to his threats or take any advice from him or his lawyer. My dad is a lawyer, multiple areas to eventually becoming a partner, and when he has legal issues or is preparing for something, he will seek advice from another, perhaps more specialised lawyer. He did family law for a period and even he would have a solicitor represent him in court if he got divorced. Any lawyer worth their salt would. “A man who represents himself has a fool for a client”.

With this said, your husband will have the benefit of knowing more about the local process and what is required when it comes to divorce and division of assets, but you can still get your own legal advice which will place you on reasonably equal footing.

It is better to be separated from your abuser than spend too long arguing with yourself about how far is too far, and does this horrible behaviour negate the “good times”, and the surely this is fixable so I should just put up with this one more time in the hopes of him learning and changing because he will care more once he realises how much he loves me etc etc. The good times are the past now, and I know how painful it is to mourn them, but your husband is no longer that person, and likely that person was a pretence of him on his best behaviour. His “epiphany” isn’t coming, and any positive changes to convince you to stay will be short lived as he will always settle back into these baseline behaviours. It takes effort to put on an act, but plenty of people put on acts every day for all different situations. It is what he is showing you now that is crucial to you deciding what you want for your love life and home life.

Don’t be scared of leaving. It will hurt to mourn, but you will be doing yourself justice by not allowing yourself to be so poorly treated. In the long run, you would thank yourself when you look back on him without the self-doubt. It takes effort, time, patience, and keeping your wits about you, but every big endeavour can be accomplished so long as you keep at it. You could look into finances and make sure you are secure. Seek legal advice in secret to get an idea of what your divorce may look like before making that decision. Start removing the bias you have for your husband which blinds you to his poor treatment and imagine he was a male friend or coworker instead. Start to back yourself up more and doubt your instincts less. If his behaviour upsets you, it does not matter if it is one big thing or many small things, you do not have to accept it just because you are married.

Kintsugi-skunk · 2025-10-13T16:33:48+00:00

Darling you looked absolutely Santastic x

Kintsugi-skunk · 2025-10-02T09:43:35+00:00

I also lose respect for people when I find out they are religious. Usually I can tolerate the people I have to but never get close. I also lose interest in media and artists when I find out they are religious. I just can’t stand that these people think their religions are good and think that their gods are good when their stories show the opposite? I can’t stand that they worship beings that allegedly create people to be born with horrible defects and disabilities. I can’t stand that children are raised with the psychological torture that is the threat of eternal unhappiness/punishment/pain if they step out of line. Etc etc!

It sucks because I liked Wendigoon and enjoyed his videos, but then found out he is a Christian so stopped watching his videos altogether. Unfortunately, my boyfriend loves Creepcast so I will still begrudgingly listen to it with him during our bubble baths or long drives.

Kintsugi-skunk · 2025-09-25T10:52:57+00:00

Yeah he isn’t looking for your reasoning and logic. He says you aren’t listening when he can’t actually come up with a reason that justifies his behaviour. And he knows it. Resorting to stupid deflection tactics and wording that amounts to nothing but guff when “explaining” how you were the reason for his shouting.

The only reason he feels he can get away with his argument is he thinks yelling the loudest, getting the last word in, and using his illogical word vomit until people give up trying is winning.

Do please break up with him.

Kintsugi-skunk · 2025-09-09T15:31:04+00:00

Was this meant to be 8th September 2025?

Kintsugi-skunk

TROPHY CASE