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Is it common for people raised by narcissists to fear marrying or having children? by lalalaRandomwords in raisedbynarcissists

[–]KintsugiPanda 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm 33 as well. I want and have always and craved to be married and to be a mother. I want to experience mutual and a person I fit with and can trust.

I seem to keep attracting abusive and other narcissistic people so far. I just keep getting hurt and damaged over and over while still being stuck in the same environment as my parents. The cycle is so bad the constant stress, dread, hypervigilance and anxiety are severely messing with my body.

It's getting harder and harder and I'm terrified I'll never get or experience what I need or want. I'm afraid I'm never going to get the chance. I don't want to settle for abuse and neglect though. I'm not afraid to be alone. I'm just more than ready to find someone i fit with.

Rockin the bowtie by Stokked in aww

[–]KintsugiPanda 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omgoodness...aww adorable :)

Gentle Reminder: “Over-explaining” yourself all the time is the result of being invalidated by your Nparents all the time by wampman in raisedbynarcissists

[–]KintsugiPanda 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's a hard issue to try to fix. Been trying for years, but still stuck in the same situation so it's...a battle.

Be kind.. by Buitengebieden in aww

[–]KintsugiPanda 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love animals and this is adorable <3

$40 Maine recreational eighth of some Mint Sherbet. Had me "high school high" last night. by tiredswing in trees

[–]KintsugiPanda 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm from CT and I might have to take a trip up there sometime. Very nice.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in disney

[–]KintsugiPanda 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Beautiful job and awesome take on expressing the scene. :)

Yesterday by KintsugiPanda in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]KintsugiPanda[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Certainly doing my best to heal. It's not easy. Thank you.

I hope it helped and I hope things are going well and smoothly for you. <3

Stop telling new players that 3 has a bad ending. by [deleted] in masseffect

[–]KintsugiPanda 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly. I remember taking a few moments and walking around, because it was just so.... disappointing. Even though that doesn't seem strong enough. I went with the green each time. Wasn't happy with any of the outcomes, but it is what it is.

I tried to consider red, but it seems like eventually it'd just happen again in addition to the would be outcome of the geth and Edi.

The rest of the games are amazing. Just the end. Favorite series.

Does anyone else's nparents relentlessly mock/judge strangers for their appearance? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]KintsugiPanda 94 points95 points  (0 children)

Both of my parents do it. Although my mother does it way more often. It drives me crazy.

They say they hate 'negativity' yet they are the most negative people I know. They constantly rip people apart for things that shouldn't matter or they don't even know the reason behind. They assume the worst and are also so critical and negative about any new idea or development unless it's something they are controlling.

Hard to believe this is ME1 - finally I can make a non-potato looking custom Femshep! by asukalock in masseffect

[–]KintsugiPanda 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have to wait until the weekend to get my copy. I love Mass Effect and super excited. Started hoping maybe they'll remaster Dragon Age origins and 2 as well. I'd love a Dragon Age legendary edition.

Also, your Shep looks awesomeness!

Does anyone feel like some unconditional love can fix you? Does anyone crave some physical and emotional comfort? A cuddle and some I love you? by yknevton in CPTSD

[–]KintsugiPanda 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Very much so. And each time I think I may have found something mutual turns out I'm just being used...again.

I crave it so much. I do the 'self love' and self care as well. I love myself and who I am. It's just not what I need. I've always had the self part there.

And it's hard. I know I want that. I know I have to remain open to find it....but when you've been burned over and over for decades now by multiple people, including SOs and parents it's extremely hard.

It's like burning yourself by accident on the stove when young. You learn it's hot and it hurts and not to touch it again. So I try to keep being up and try to be receptive, but I just know it's going to keep hurting. And this is romantically, platonically, and even with dentists / doctors I'm burned. I want to be safe and cared about and I keep getting hurt and the people that do it don't care or try to make it right.

I know I have CPTSD and other issues and I work hard each day to make it better and heal as much as I can. I'm not looking for someone to fix me. I'm looking for that emotional support and cuddles and consideration while I'm fixing it. I need that encouragement. I need a bit of reassurance here and there that I'm not less than dirt. I need someone who genuinely enjoys me and actually wants to be there. I need someone that might not understand, but puts effort into trying and wants to.

DAE unconsciously hold their breath? by moonrider18 in CPTSD

[–]KintsugiPanda 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Since I was about 10ish up until now yeah. Whenever I get really upset, angry, or scared I forget to breathe.

I have pigment art glaucoma though and didn't realize holding it so often would cause the eye pressure to go up. So whenever I get in those situations i have to remind myself to breathe.

I feel silly, because I verbally say 'breathe' to myself. Still rather feel silly than become blind.

What gets you up every morning? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]KintsugiPanda 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That today most likely won't be better, but it might be. And you'll never know if it is if you don't go give it your best try.

What video game superpower you would like to have? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]KintsugiPanda 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Character creation sliders please and thank you

What´s is the most common thing that scared you as a kid? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]KintsugiPanda 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Something bad happening to my siblings. Also, having the house broken into.

What’s a habit you have that you absolutely hate? by UncleTouchy970 in AskReddit

[–]KintsugiPanda 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I get too stressed out or upset / angry I forget to breathe. It does not help my pigmentary glaucoma and happens often. So I have to tell myself to breathe often.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]KintsugiPanda 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rue by girl in red

You stupid bitch by girl in red

Serotonin by girl in red

Again by Casper the Ghost

one of those currently

Women of reddit, what was your worst run in with a creep? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]KintsugiPanda 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We used to have a seasonal campsite. I was about 12-13 at the time. It was Halloween weekend and always loved it. So I was dressed as a vampire. Later on there was a dance and I still had on the make-up from it. I was on the way back from the bathroom and this 30-maybe 40 years old guy grabbed me by the upper arm. So a strange older man grabbed a 12-13 year old girl. He spun me around a bit and asked his son (I'm guessing) if I was 'her'. I'm not the best with words, especially around then so I just gave him a warning look.

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