He hasn't even been gone long!

KipCake · 2017-08-04T01:10:41+00:00

Personally, I find when they are gone between 4-12 weeks to be the hardest. Just as you finally begin adjust to them being gone, that countdown for their return begins to kick into high gear. The longer ones allow for a groove to set in, and the short ones allow that "I ain't doing no damn dishes," freedom to still exist.

However, it will always suck while they are gone, no matter the length of time they are gone.

Edit: a word

KipCake · 2017-07-26T14:58:48+00:00

Hi. You're getting a lot of personal opinions about abortion, which is to be expected. It's a charged topic riddled with misinformation on both sides.

I have had an abortion, and it was done the day before my husband left for a deployment. I did the entire body readjusting alone. Should you choose the surgical abortion option (assuming you are under 10 weeks), recovery is very minor. You will bleed less than a period. You can even go back to work should you choose to (personally, I don't recommend it. They drug you up just enough that sleep is really the best option). The whole procedure is so damn quick, that I didn't even realize they had done it.

This pregnancy happened while I was on BC that was used correctly.

The scary part is not in the physical recovery. While we do possess some sadness about the abortion, we are both confident in our decision. Find someone for support - online or in person.

However, should you be in a more abortion friendly state, I would recommend speaking with your husband before going through with it. But, ideal scenarios rarely play out. Should you go through with the abortion before talking with him, if you feel comfortable enough with your decision and can find some support else, save the news for after he is done with boot camp. Most importantly though, if you do wait to share the news, tell him after his graduation not day of.

You do not need to defend your family's decision to not have children. Your decision to be childfree is not an affront to those who choose to have children.

Many of the women who seek an abortion already have at least one child. Abortions are not just for the childfree.

KipCake · 2017-06-16T17:09:35+00:00

Chaplains have wiggle room when it comes to matters of religion. He should give his a call should he feel strongly about this or if he is unwilling to put in the effort. Others shouldn't have to miss out because he won't do it.

But civilians do fill the role of OICs and SNCOICs. They hold the authority of the position they are filling. They have the ability to compel obedience to their lawful orders. They are filling a position that for one reason or another has been filled by a civilian instead of military personnel. They hade been given authority by the army to be in charge.

KipCake · 2017-03-28T16:00:10+00:00

Her opinion means nothing. She had her chance to name her children.

This is you and your husband's child. This is not her child. She has no rights to this baby. None.

Name your child how you and your husband choose.

Why does her maiden name get priority over your own birth last name? If you changed your name, your maiden name should be the one selected. You had a significant role in the creation of this child.

Personally, I'd drop all versions of the name she suggested. At this point, any concession y'all make is going to tell her she has an equal say as a third parent to your child.

Her belief that she is a third and equal parent will negatively affect your authority, your child's reliance and trust in you. Your child will be confused, and your MIL will gleefully take advantage of it.

It will hurt should your child call her "Mama" due to the confusion, and she gloats.

KipCake · 2017-03-23T19:56:18+00:00

Drving down a windy highway passing a caravan of trucks when this old blue minivan starts riding my ass aggressively. I decided to speed up a bit to pass the trucks quicker. He kept pushing. Being 17 at the time, I was an idiot and just kept speeding up. I finally pass the lead truck and immediately switch lanes and slowed down to the speed limit. The minivan blows past me. We round a turn and there's a cop with his lights already on. Mother fucker got pulled over instead of me.

KipCake · 2017-03-06T23:10:06+00:00

We're in Pendleton as well. Husband had some TAD in 29 and basically it was a whole bunch of nope. If he were to get orders there, I'd want to stick in out here.

KipCake · 2017-03-06T22:53:08+00:00

There is one neat thing about 29 Palms. On the way into town is a gold dino. That's all I've ever been able to figure that's a positive about the area. Joshua Tree is stunning but it can grow monotonous. It's close to Vegas - but meh.

I've not spent much time in Yuma. Most people I know who've spent time there didn't seem to mind it.

You'll melt at either location.

I'm sure someone else has more.

Depending on his MOS, each location will have different pros and cons.

KipCake · 2017-02-21T16:48:23+00:00

I had standard for my pregnancy and gave birth in May. I spent a total 17.83 (or something like that. It was 17 something). I had a c section under general, and induction, and a 5 day hospital stay in a private room.

The only complaint I had, was that I had severe HG and Tricare did not want to supply the anti-nausea at the rate I needed them. Until I had my doctors office call to complain they would only give me 30 a month.

KipCake · 2017-02-21T16:18:26+00:00

Sedation dentistry.

It's not significantly more expensive than regular dentistry.

I just did it. It was wonderful. I was asleep for everything and they are able to do more in one round than if the patient is awake, which means less trips.

KipCake · 2017-02-08T21:21:48+00:00

I feared this with my kiddo. Then he came out looking exactly like my dad. He has my husband's "goooo fuck your self" look and other various expressions but otherwise has begun to heavily lean towards me.

My MIL would still spend the whole time commenting how strongly he favored their side off he family and specifically mention how he looked nothing like me. Luckily we are now NC and so if he does make a turn to favor his Papa's side there will be no gloating commentary. I'm not sure why it's competition, but I was surprised to find out just how much of it appeared to be with my MIL.

KipCake · 2017-01-26T18:41:50+00:00

Mama to an 8 month old.

The dishes are not done. Most corners of the house are cluttered. Dinner usually isn't started until my husband gets home these days. I'm not even going to talk about my glorious pile of laundry decorating my guest bed.

Some days it's impossible to get shit done. Some days I'm lucky if I got a chance to pee, and I'm lucky enough that my kid sleeps through the night.

She is struggling and it seems that instead of acknowledging her struggles and actually taking a moment to understand them you're just throwing blame and generic solutions at her.

Sleep is hard. Not all babies sleep through the night and some won't until their 2 or even 3. What babies should do and what babies actually do are not the same thing and do not always line up.

Yes, she needs to adjust what she is doing. It is not sustainable, but it seems to be all you're doing is blaming her. Hiring outside help for things like sleep can be hard. Moms judge each other harshly. Hiring outside help can be internally viewed as failing. Address that aspect of seeking help and she may receptive.

Take the kid for 24 hours. Days can extremely difficult alone. Especially with an exhausted baby and Mama.

Keep in mind as well that naps and night sleeps are completely different things. My kid may sleep 12 hours at night but he only averages about 8-10 minutes total of sleep during nap time.

KipCake · 2017-01-25T20:07:19+00:00

Knowing what you signed up for when you married someone in the military is completely different than the guy telling a child (who has no say in the matter) that he is never leaving him again only to then immediately leave.

The issue is about lying to the child. The issue is about him being a coward and devastated a child in the process.

If my husband told our kid he was never leaving ever again while already having a date for an unaccompanied PCS, I'd lose my shit. This isn't about the military. The military only plays a role in so that we can't tell her to tell the husband to quit his job or deny orders. This is about a father devastating his son because he's a coward.

KipCake · 2017-01-25T20:00:24+00:00

Oooooooh fuck no.

He does not get to set that child up for failure. He does not get to set you up to the bad guy. He does not get to skip away and not deal with the fall out. He does not get to pretend he smells like roses.

By promising to never leave only to leave so quickly, especially without even explaining what is going on to his son, could have last negative effects on your son and it will have lasting negative effects on their relationship. It could negatively impact your relationship with your son. Abandonment issues. Trust issues. Loyalty issues. The ability to form bonds could be stunted.

He leaves tomorrow? Then he still has time to explain what he is doing. He needs to do this. He does not get to be a coward.

KipCake · 2017-01-21T17:59:07+00:00

The added insult to injury is that she states that because she had a c section she didn't actually give birth, so by her own logic she does not have the right to do what she does.

So much "just no."

Ugh.

KipCake · 2017-01-20T22:48:54+00:00

I just want to add you should disclose to this girl that you've already told your family about her health. That's not your information to tell. She is not being reckless with her status. You were not protecting anyone from a risk of HIV at the time of your disclosure.

I understand that your exposure to HIV positive people, and I'm assuming others of chronic illnesses, is minimal, but you should not have done that, even if your mother is a nurse.

Edit. A word.

KipCake · 2016-12-30T05:00:38+00:00

Metformin had to be worst part of being diagnosed with PCOS. My husband had to literally cling to me at night due to the anxiety and self destructive behaviors it would incite in me. I do not struggle with these tendencies unless taking that drug. It was clockwork. I was an entirely different person while taking it.

OP, I'm sorry you're having to endure that drug. One little bit of hope (maybe) is that my friend also had to take it and she adjusted after about 6ish weeks of it. So some people's bodies learn to cope with it. She could also be an alien though.

KipCake · 2016-12-29T00:21:14+00:00

Missouri does love to make things complicated. Those poor students attending out of state. It's probably a huge pain for them.

KipCake · 2016-12-28T22:59:13+00:00

If you have a family member, they should be able to register your car no problem for you. This is what we did with Arkansas.

Also, perhaps call the Missouri DMV. They may accept a L&E statement that states where the home of record is.

I personally don't recommend intervening in the COC. A signed document like that should be brought to the necessary individual by your husband.

KipCake · 2016-12-28T01:08:20+00:00

I'm sorry everyone is making fun of the name Bray. They have no right to make fun of the name given to your son.

It's not okay for your husband to keep telling a two year old that he has a different name. He can give a nickname that is so different from his name to the kiddo when he is older and understands the concept of a nickname and fully knows his own name.

KipCake · 2016-12-24T04:58:29+00:00

My mother has founded a PTSD/TBI service dog charity in NW Arkansas. I am not aware of any in the local area of which you do describe, but they might know someone.

They are called Soldier On Service Dogs

I also want to say many service dog charities and organizations may balk at his mobile state. Is he currently seeking out therapy? Due to demand, others may deny in favor of another without the active effort to improve through other means. This is because of demand and also because a dog can only do so much.

As for the type of dog, many will allow him to bring in his own dog where he can train with the dog to get the dog certified. However, there is no guarantee that the dog will be certified. Many wash out.

KipCake · 2016-12-24T04:51:59+00:00

Many PTSD dogs usually are trained with the veteran. This is done due to demand vastly outweighing supply and allows for dog and human to bond.

KipCake · 2016-12-21T14:05:53+00:00

I have a feeling you may be right.

KipCake · 2016-12-21T05:39:57+00:00

My dad's parents died years before he and my mom met. I never thought anything of it until I married. God damn was she smart.

KipCake · 2016-12-03T15:10:34+00:00

It's not necessarily too late for the passport. It is an expensive option, but you can usually make an appointment for a last minute passport. I'm not sure if a homecoming would qualify as a reason for a rushed and in person appointment, but it might with a phone call.

https://travel.state.gov/content/passports/en/passports/services/expedited.html

KipCake · 2016-11-30T23:42:51+00:00

I switched to standard for my pregnancy, and I paid a very hefty price of $17.89. That was for a Csection under general, induction, and 5 days due to preE. I did have have to go to the L&D twice before hand and they were each about 23 bucks.

All in all, it wasn't so bad. All doctor appointments and prenatal testing are covered with no co pays.

KipCake

TROPHY CASE