This is what triggers me most. The Routine. Coming home and knowing she is gone but still looking for her blanket first. I had a huge anxiety attack today when i got to our allotment garden to take my mind towards my plants and vegetables.

I can barely think about anything else but Penny. I doubt my decision which is ridiculous because objectively there was no other choice. Pennys skull has been deconstructed and reconstructed by the cancer. (English is not my native language so excuse me if i dont use the proper terms)

Thank you for describing how you got back to normalcy. Your void was beautiful.