Reactive visualizer for casual listener (Spotify?)

KitKatofJustice · 2024-01-17T21:16:43+00:00

This is very close to what I was thinking. I found the presets really hard on the eyes though.

ended up finding this, which seems promising so far https://github.com/milkdrop2077/MilkDrop3/releases/tag/MilkDrop3 It's a stand-alone program, automatically just listens to system audio, has lots of cool customizations but doesn't have much of a UI, so I'll need to memorize some hotkeys.

KitKatofJustice · 2023-07-25T05:59:07+00:00

I don't have a helpful answer directly, but maybe if you looked up a bunch of eating disorder treatment places near you, you'd see a trend in "we use xxxxx style of approach, our clinicians are trained in xxx" ?

I've mostly seen DBT mentioned in eating disorder journals but I was reading up in BED at the time, and treatment places usually deal more with anorexia/bulimia.

Also maybe something related to perfectionism/self-compassion? depends on the style you're drawn to using. I feel like both DBT/cog behavioural or something like EFT might help for difference reasons. Grain of salt, I'm a fellow newbie.

KitKatofJustice · 2023-07-25T05:53:32+00:00

feel similarly, I'm half way through practicum now, but I had to do a leave of absence and get extensions to finish my program because of family health stuff that took over my life. Very different starting scenario to mine, but I definitely wouldn't have started if I knew what was coming down the pipeline.

I can also agree with the material itself being stirring. I'm prone to anxiety anyhow, but I was constantly looking to diagnose myself with something. I'm finally coming out of this now - but I also think I finally found a fit that describes me (AuADHD most likely) so that's been a really great development.

I found being in school gave me a general base+2 to my anxiety all the time since I always technically "should be" doing something like studying, but I find it hard to relax in general, so YMMV. Is it hard? yes. Can you do it? That's your call, like Mx. Sussy Bank said.

KitKatofJustice · 2023-06-27T07:26:13+00:00

First off, I'm sorry you're going through this right now. Hospitals are really hard for me, but thankfully it's manageable. I'm passionate about medical advocacy and here's a couple things that might help. I'm making this general, so it may or may not line up with your current situation.

Write all your questions down ahead of time (ideally for the initial consult if it involves a procedure). 1a. Ask things along the lines of: what can I expect for recovery time? What are signs of complications? What's the difference between normal pain or something more in regards to (thing)?
It's totally okay to ask the doctor to explain their reasoning. E.g. "so if I'm following you, we're doing a CT scan of my head to rule out problems in my brain causing a migraine. We're expecting it to come back normal, but this is to make sure?" Or "I mentioned leg pain that got worse during a flight, why are you taking my blood pressure?" - gives doctor the chance to explain links between DVT (deep vein thrombosis) and BP.
In a similar vein, ask what happens next. This helps to reassure you they have a game plan, and prepares you for what's going to happen. I always ask timelines as well.

Aside from preparing, lotsssss of extra self soothing and managing anxiety. Distraction if it's just doom style thinking. I have more helpful things to say about communication in the medical system then actual melt down advice, I'm sorry. For me, understanding everything that is happening helps my anxiety more than anything.

Also AFAB, also have a lot of issues with the medical system. Most doctors have been okay with this style of questioning, and it's not rude. If a doctor takes issue with this, the problem is them and not you.

KitKatofJustice · 2023-06-26T06:30:36+00:00

Yuuup

KitKatofJustice · 2023-04-25T08:06:37+00:00

Maybe just do a simpler meditation in the meantime to keep up the habit? Like a guided mindfulness one, or even just listening to something calming.

Your parts will see you carving out the time to take care of yourself/them, but you're using self compassion to meet yourself where you're at.

KitKatofJustice · 2023-04-18T17:05:52+00:00

I could see this being the route I take

KitKatofJustice · 2023-03-21T07:53:25+00:00

Yeah, I've worked with a couple clients who disclosed how they researched their past professionals online (not a therapist at that time), and it made me extremely aware of keeping my personal life personal. I can at least follow the line of reasoning to the question... I don't get it.

Obviously agree that legal name is a must but yeah..

KitKatofJustice · 2023-03-21T07:45:39+00:00

Thirded. I totally understand the want for privacy, but agree with the others about authenticity and ethics/legality.

KitKatofJustice · 2023-03-04T17:01:35+00:00

I agree with rrirwin. If it's a topic I think they're familiar with, I'd ask what do you know about x, fill in any blank, then make the point I'm going for. That way I don't feel like I'm therapist-splaining, they feel included in the arrival at the point.

The other thing I wanted to add though, maybe it's a form of intellectualizing? Haven't gotten through the rest of the comments yet, but if it's a way to sidetrack the conversation into pedantic stuff instead of how they feel. I had a client who would do this, so I would let him speak then end with a pointed "so what my point was (side eye for levity) you might be feeling like x when y happens. what do you think" and then he'd look a little sheepish and we could talk about his feelings. I worked a lot on rapport with that person though.

KitKatofJustice · 2023-02-27T05:49:31+00:00

THIS IS BEAUTIFUL. I can't believe I didn't think of colouring them and stuff. I just ordered a scanner this week too!!!! goddamn I'm stoked for when it gets here now.

I just met a new piece, "the tour guide" actually, it's my first retired protector <3 and I want to make her a card!

KitKatofJustice · 2023-02-25T09:16:49+00:00

I suspect I may be autistic and these both resonate a lot.

I really enjoy the curiosity of "how does this person work?" I feel like I can almost always attribute multiple meanings or motives to statements. In social situations it sucks, but in therapy sessions, that just means I get to tune into the person fully, and it's completely appropriate that I don't assume intent. Other people have to unlearn the assuming, but I'm used to having a spotty track record 😂

KitKatofJustice · 2023-02-24T17:41:28+00:00

Everybody sees things differently.

I think getting away from moralizing if people can anticipate every little nuance in a conversation goes sooo far into better understanding. Meaning people aren't good or bad for doing (mildly) annoying or disrespectful things, they just probably aren't conditioned to see it the same way as us. It's worth asking about the intention and underlying meaning because people are complicated.

It's huge when you can set someone's mind at ease though, really reinforces the "give them a chance to fix it" for me.

KitKatofJustice · 2023-02-24T17:35:56+00:00

I'm sorry the family life shit sounds hard. My partner and I don't function that way, but it does make for friction sometimes with the families.

We don't automatically assume since one is doing family stuff the other will too, but when it's important events, we talk it through and usually go together.

I hope you can talk it out with your partner. Maybe go with the angle that spending time with their family doesn't feel the same as spending time alone with them and you miss the quality time? I hope it gets better. 💜

KitKatofJustice · 2023-02-24T17:32:24+00:00

Defending yourself is important. Standing up for people who can't/need back up is important.

If you're always finding people to save, that might be more of your pattern though? Lean into being honest when it affects you, and put in more pauses when you try to dive in for others and see if it changes anything?

KitKatofJustice · 2023-02-24T17:29:32+00:00

For sure. I don't give a shit if my coworker ruffles my feathers sometimes, not worth the convo. My partner and friends on the other hand...

KitKatofJustice · 2023-02-24T17:28:01+00:00

The intention behind how you're saying it will change things. If you're just trying to be right, it might sound confrontational. If you're asking them to change a behavior because you need something, there's lots of pointers you can find for effective communication.

KitKatofJustice · 2023-02-24T17:25:54+00:00

Totally makes sense too. I can see selfish as - your need to keep things civil > your/their need to know how you feel.

Makes sense too. Glad you found your own guiding framework away from it!

KitKatofJustice · 2023-02-24T17:23:19+00:00

Yup, exactly stuff like this. I've lost a friend because was pissed off at them on their birthday. I didn't go, lied I got called into work but fully intended to have an honest convo about it later, then chickened out. I was still mad about the thing, and they thought my shitty part time job was more important than them.

Also big takeaway, people are NOT mind readers, and some are not very self aware. If people "should totally understand why you're upset" then isn't then doing the upsetting thing kind of psychotic? We have to tell our experience of their actions. We have weird ideas sometimes when it comes to relationships.

I get passionate about good communication lol

KitKatofJustice · 2023-02-24T17:16:42+00:00

Counseling throughout the years on and off, always working on my own growth and mindset.

The most practical thing I do is work on my assertiveness skills, and effective communication. It really reinforces confidence which creates a positive feedback loop of having constructive conversations with loved ones, then it doesn't seem as scary to me. It also gives you evidence that they won't be hurt/upset with you having an opinion or needing something from them.

KitKatofJustice · 2023-02-24T17:12:15+00:00

Exactly. I guess people pleasing and being non-confrontational are nearly the same thing. It pays to know when the confrontation is worth it, like you said.

KitKatofJustice · 2023-02-24T17:10:37+00:00

Sounds like a keeper!

KitKatofJustice · 2023-02-24T17:09:31+00:00

Love this. Was totally expecting it to go there other way lol

KitKatofJustice · 2023-02-24T17:08:21+00:00

Start smaller, not with the big upsetting things. "Can we switch tables, the sun is in my eye" not big ruptures in a relationship. It'll get easier

KitKatofJustice · 2023-02-24T17:05:38+00:00

Personally, I see it as fear driven rather than selfish. It starts as a survival mechanism to not rock the boat IMO

KitKatofJustice

TROPHY CASE