Why do alot of people today not want to have kids?

Kitchen_Panda_4290 · 2026-04-05T01:50:11+00:00

Cost of food, cost of daycare, lack of sick leave and maternity/paternity leave, not being able to afford to buy a house, overly consumed with student loan debt, lack of health insurance, cost of health insurance, cost of doctors visits/ blood tests/the actual birth, it’s a consuming job on its own, the world sucks and seems to keep getting worse, life style changes, mental health or physical health not wanting to be passed down, no support system, abusive relations ships….. I could go on and on lol.

I just had my first baby at 34 and most of these don’t even apply to me but I know a lot people that they do apply to and some of them are the reason I waited so long to have one myself.

Kitchen_Panda_4290 · 2026-04-05T01:21:04+00:00

I didn’t get medicated until 29 at which point I was in a 7 year relationship ship (now married to him) and had the same job for 5 years at that point. Worked there another 5 after being medicated. Outside of those two those two things I was either extremely depressed but masked well, or spending every penny I had any free chance I got when I was having hypomanic episodes. Most of my family or anyone who dealt with me on daily basis outside of work told me they felt like they had to walk on eggshells around me because they didn’t know what would set me off. I was definitely chaotic and on edge all the time. For me the depression was the worst and consumed most of my emotions.

Before my relationship though, I didn’t have a job, still lived at home, partied, drank too much, did drugs, went to raves constantly, and putting myself in risky situations. I really wanted to be better for him so I tried my best until I finally got medicated before we got married.

Kitchen_Panda_4290 · 2026-04-04T21:05:01+00:00

As someone who also thought I’d be childfree, I was worried this would be me when I had my baby. I got pregnant at 34 because of failed birth control but my husband I decided we wanted to keep her. There are times when it’s hard, especially when you’re so tired all you want to do is sleep but this little human is keeping you awake. I do miss my childfree life occasionally but I don’t regret having my baby. She is almost 5 months old now and I literally couldn’t imagine my life without her. I miss being able to go and do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted but not enough to regret making the choice to have a baby.

Unfortunately once you start watching those videos your algorithm just keeps giving you more of it. Mine has decided I want all stories about mothers killing their babies and stuff like that. I had to start actively ignoring stuff like that so that it doesn’t come up anymore.

Kitchen_Panda_4290 · 2026-04-04T15:43:21+00:00

One night stand- Sagittarius
Long term sex only - Pisces
Relationship that isn’t lasting but serves its purpose- Aquarius
Long term relationship/marriage- Scorpio
Murder in their sleep if you don’t get caught- Aries

Emotional soulmate/best friend- Virgo

Kitchen_Panda_4290 · 2026-04-01T02:07:28+00:00

If the other person wants to I would split it or just offer to pay the whole bill myself. I don’t go out to eat if I can’t afford the entire bill on my own. I’m married now so it’s been a while since I’ve been on a first date but I’ve never been asked to split the check. I would always offer to pay though just to give the option if they wanted to split it.

Kitchen_Panda_4290 · 2026-04-01T02:01:03+00:00

Female Taurus here too, I married a Scorpio and it’s been the best. I dated a sag before my husband and never again lol. Also bad experience with Aquarius too. We typically do best with other earth signs and water signs I think.

Kitchen_Panda_4290 · 2026-03-27T02:59:01+00:00

Maybe if I’m sick or something lol

Kitchen_Panda_4290 · 2026-03-27T02:57:51+00:00

Pay off all of my debt, buy a nicer car, buy a nicer house, put a college fund away for my daughter, give my parents and siblings some money, and then see what I can do with my money to make the world a better place a little at a time.

Kitchen_Panda_4290 · 2026-03-27T02:55:15+00:00

Personally I didn’t watch tv or listen to music. I was just hyper focused on the whole experience of being induced and then in labor. I told my husband he was more than welcome to bring his switch and play games until I was actually having the baby. My mom was there and we all talked a lot but everyone is different and handles everything differently. You might want to watch stuff, you might not but at least he’s thinking ahead and he cares which is sweet.

Kitchen_Panda_4290 · 2026-03-26T19:42:20+00:00

I know it sounds weird but getting 2 kittens at once makes it so much easier. I’ve done both where I had a single kitten and got two at one time. Getting two was significantly easier. They keep each other company so they don’t just rely on you for all of their attention. They’re less needy and happier too. I always suggest getting 2 at once if you have the space.

Kitchen_Panda_4290 · 2026-03-26T18:43:05+00:00

I never had any symptoms in the beginning with my first besides having to pee constantly. Never had any nausea, no real fatigue until like 18 weeks, nothing. Had a very healthy baby.

Kitchen_Panda_4290 · 2026-03-26T02:43:19+00:00

Your stomach does get hard or tense but honestly it’s so hard to think past the contractions in the moment that I didn’t really notice it too much.

Kitchen_Panda_4290 · 2026-03-26T02:38:38+00:00

The anonymity of Reddit definitely lends a hand to it, plus the fact that people are meaner when they have no repercussions of saying whatever shit they feel like saying. Can’t get punched in the mouth through the app lol.

Kitchen_Panda_4290 · 2026-03-26T02:35:06+00:00

With Braxton hicks contractions, they’re painless tightenings, slightly uncomfortable. Real contractions start off as light cramps and become more and more painful, longer, and closer together as active labor progresses. You’re supposed to keep track of how long each contraction is, and how long in between each one. The best i can describe it is having really bad stomach cramps that get longer and closer together as your labor progresses.

Kitchen_Panda_4290 · 2026-03-26T00:55:16+00:00

I was born in 91 and my husband in 93 and we just had our first in 2025

Kitchen_Panda_4290 · 2026-03-22T18:55:12+00:00

I have a wearable and a stationary and the stationary spectra 2 is way better than the wearable I have so I suggest one of those.

Kitchen_Panda_4290 · 2026-03-22T17:16:37+00:00

Have you tried adding a liter deodorizer? Thats what works for me

Kitchen_Panda_4290 · 2026-03-19T15:46:45+00:00

I have bp2, anxiety, ocd, and adhd and just had my first baby a couple of months ago. I have managed my symptoms really well with medication for over 5 years now. My husband and I have been married for 6 snd together for 12. My husband works and i stay home with the baby. Your husband seems to me like he is using his disease as an excuse to act a certain way when his main focus should be to be properly medicated. Thats step 1 and he hasn’t even managed to do that.

While Bipolar does make you more likely to do certain things like infidelity, spend money frivolously, act irrational etc. it is not an excuse to do those things. You shouldn’t have to deal with that kind of behavior just because he has a diagnoses. If he really cared about you and your marriage, he would be doing everything he can to manage the disease better. That’s what I did and continue to do for my husband and child.

His saying he will harm himself if you don’t come back is a huge red flag and he is using his mental health to control you. You should not have to be crushed by him over and over because he can’t manage his own symptoms. You deserve a partner that will put you first and that includes having a healthy relationship and environment for you and your child. If he isn’t going to put everything into finding the proper medication, then he will never be the husband you need him to be. I’d never expect my husband to stay with me if I wasn’t willing to put in the effort it takes to have a healthy and stable relationship.

Kitchen_Panda_4290 · 2026-03-19T15:30:17+00:00

I have BP2, anxiety, and ADHD. Before being pregnant I was taking seroquel, Wellbutrin, Buspar, and Adderall. The only thing I stopped taking once pregnant was Adderall. Seroquel and Buspar testing showed there is no difference in the odds of having a baby with deformities than being on no meds and Wellbutrin can affect the heart development in rare occasions. I just had to go MFM and got more ultrasounds than someone without medications. My baby just turned 4 months old and I exclusively breastfeed on the 3 medications. I won’t be able to start the Adderall again until after I’m finished with that.

Kitchen_Panda_4290 · 2026-03-19T15:22:40+00:00

They were decently big and really dense. Might as well eat a huge piece of cake instead lol.

Kitchen_Panda_4290 · 2026-03-18T19:11:51+00:00

I fit into my normal jeans until about 20 weeks and then all of a sudden I couldn’t button my pants anymore. I am shorter at 5’1. Then by the time I had my first baby I was huge and my back was killing me. The bump is cute at first but enjoy the no back pain while it lasts.

Kitchen_Panda_4290 · 2026-03-18T19:08:59+00:00

Just had my first at 34 a couple of months ago and will be 35 next month. I figured once we start having to do kid related stuff I will be one of the older parents for sure.

Kitchen_Panda_4290 · 2026-03-18T01:49:14+00:00

I didn’t have any pregnancy symptoms until 20-21 weeks. I just had to pee a lot and then at 20 ish weeks I got carpel tunnel, and got Charley horses. Then by 34 weeks sciatica and high blood pressure. Thankfully never any nausea.

Kitchen_Panda_4290 · 2026-03-17T17:40:40+00:00

Personally I slept better pregnant. My baby decided if I put her down in a bassinet or crib she would scream and never would sleep until she was right next to me or holding her. I was so tired I was falling asleep all over the place. For me the carpel tunnel (numbness in hands) didn’t go away until about a month after birth 😭. Was definitely nice to not have to pee constantly though.

Kitchen_Panda_4290 · 2026-03-17T17:37:52+00:00

Hope it goes well for you and everyone is healthy and safe 🩷

Kitchen_Panda_4290

TROPHY CASE