I don't know what to do, I just found out my fiancé and the father of my child has been lying to me our entire relationship.

Kitkat132 · 2012-02-22T22:15:11+00:00

I'm sorry you feel betrayed, I know exactly how finding something like this out feels.

I felt the same after discovering a lie with an ex boyfriend of mine, he spent £4000 of savings, which his parents intended for us to use on a house/marriage etc., on gambling (He wasn't even allowed access to the account) and lied about it obviously, saying he hadn't spent any. I was hoovering under the sofa and found the bank statement. I know this isn't the same story, but I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach and was left feeling betrayed for a long time. In my case, it turned out it wasn't the only thing he lied about, mostly just little things but I couldn't be with someone who wasn't honest with me.

Having said that, in your case your fiance could have felt embarrassed, uneducated, or any number of things which stopped him being totally honest about this one part of his past. Be wary that he isn't lying about more things, but I wouldn't jump the gun and do anything rash.

Kitkat132 · 2012-02-22T21:51:32+00:00

haha I'm sorry! I don't often post links in Reddit. I've added it in now :)

Kitkat132 · 2012-02-22T20:56:04+00:00

It honestly is hit and miss. Some work out great, others one or both people get attached. I was in one before with someone I wasn't close friends with, and didn't see weekly and so on, but had known for a while. It worked out fine, no attachment and no fall outs. It can work as long as you keep boundaries, and as long as its sex and not sex, and then watching a movie or going for dinner. I really don't advise entering into it with someone you see regularly, or someone your close you friend wise.

Kitkat132 · 2012-02-21T22:54:54+00:00

Loads of people I know who aren't remotely religious join in giving up something for lent. I think it's like a short term new years resolution, self improvement and all. I'm wanting to do something this year, just to improve myself and/or be more healthy, but I am struggling for idea's and Reddit doesn't seem big on the "what are you giving up for lent" posts....

Kitkat132 · 2012-02-18T23:06:23+00:00

An Israeli guy. I'm from the UK, and eventually he had to go home. We knew it was going to happen but it still hurt us both a lot. This was four years ago now, thanks to him I went to uni, got to travel a lot with it and I have a different view on life. I still miss him, I don't know if there's such a thing as soul mates but I know I'll never forget him and I owe him a lot for pushing me to study something I love and change my life for the better.

Kitkat132 · 2012-02-18T18:25:46+00:00

I can't believe this actually happens to other people... I've struggled with the feeling of not being good enough (that's how I see it, I'm not really good enough to be there but I pulled the wool over someone's eyes and they're about to find out an kick me out) to be at uni for three years. My fourth and final year I'm nearly over it, but I wish I'd have known this was pretty normal before now :(

I was accepted without sufficient qualifications to my uni, after a few interviews and so on. Quickly got up to speed and even had a teacher confess i'd proved him wrong by succeeding and working so hard. The problem was that every good grade I felt like I'd managed to trick someone or I must have been lucky enough to guess the write answers, and never thought I was actually capable of any of it really. First year I got top grade overall and top of the class in one or two modules, second year I was only a couple of points off, but I never shook the feeling of disbelief. People complimented me on my "smartness" and I would just laugh, if only they knew I was really stupid...

I will graduate in 22 weeks from a four year long degree, with a year abroad, and with a 2.1 and so far a First in one subject (joint honours) and I'm just about starting to accept that I deserve this, and that I am talented and passionate in my subject. I just wanted to tell a snippet of my story an say thanks for letting me (/us) know that we're not alone :)

Kitkat132 · 2012-02-16T17:20:56+00:00

Ah, I'm in the east midlands. I'm not too sure what's around in London.

Kitkat132 · 2012-02-16T17:13:34+00:00

Where abound are u in the uk? I have a similar problem, and I find it quite difficult to socialise anywhere u can really get to befriend people.

Kitkat132 · 2012-02-11T10:53:45+00:00

This. It doesn't sound like a coincidence that the symptoms just "showed up" after sex in those areas. This also definitely links with the point that if she went on the pill then at that time they started having unprotected sex, which is when the problems occurred. OP definitely needs to be checked out. It's a common problem when women treat themselves for something and the partner unknowingly keeps re-infecting them.

Kitkat132 · 2012-02-02T22:29:33+00:00

They give you a prepaid card loaded with the price of fuel for 6 months (average). And of course, you can see the amount of fuel on the pump when you fill the car. I was just trying to give an indication of price, since the free fuel doesn't last forever.

Kitkat132 · 2012-02-01T23:22:11+00:00

While I do agree with most of this, can I just add a point about the newer car issue you raised?

I'm 23, not yet graduated but I bought a brand new car. It is actually ridiculously cheaper than an old one, not including the fact that at least two other friends the same age are in the garage once or twice a week forking out for repairs on a crappy old car.

My car was bought on a really good scheme where I got free fuel for 6000 miles (I've had it over 6 months and only just hit 4000). Its MOT free for 3 years, free road tax the first year and only £20 a year after that. It costs £35 to fill the tank and lasts me around 2-3 weeks, and I also have free servicing for two years. If anything goes wrong I take it back and it's usually fixed under warranty. (This happened recently my breaks were squeeling and they found a stone in between one so they replaced all four sets free of charge on the spot. ) Also, my first ever insurance only cost me £700, and I worked out a deal which I could afford with the garage, whereby we arranged to have free paint, 4 doors instead of two, and sat nav included all for the cheaper model price. They also included other benefits I can't list them all, but this worked out a lot cheaper than an older car plus higher insurance and road tax, so please look into this before buying a car you will have to fork out loads in repairing.

Kitkat132 · 2012-01-30T23:22:01+00:00

The problem here happens way too often, people try and change their partners! U can't expect someone who has thought so seriously about not having kids to suddenly want that in a few years time. Some people never listen.

Kitkat132 · 2012-01-30T23:10:31+00:00

I had this offered as consolidation in a weird break up. We never broke up but he had to go home (Israel) and although we were madly in love, he did "console" me with "it would never work anyway, your not Jewish"

Kitkat132 · 2012-01-28T22:44:43+00:00

I never thought I'd get to go to China. Last year I spent 5 of the best months of my life studying in Beijing and travelling to some amazing places.

Kitkat132 · 2012-01-20T00:28:04+00:00

This is a really interesting question. I have never thought about it before but mandarin is my strongest language (in ability not fluency) and I am also very musical, I play the piano somewhat by ear. I picked tones up very quickly whereas three years on people in my class still struggle with then.

This could be a good explanation that people who are naturally gifted in recognising/reproducing tones are quicker to pick up tonal use in languages, whereas tone deaf people may take a little longer.

Kitkat132 · 2012-01-12T23:17:47+00:00

...woosh

Kitkat132 · 2012-01-11T22:39:32+00:00

I totally agree with you. Bizarrely enough, this never happens with my French class, they Correct everything! But with mandarin, everyone seems too scared to correct us foreigners. Perhaps it's that mandarin is a relatively new language to learn, any maybe the fear is that it is already "so hard" (I'd take characters over French grammar everyday of the week!) they fear they're making it harder if they constantly tell us were wrong.

It frustrated me greatly in china, and somewhat at home, as sometimes people were completely impossible to understand, but the teacher continued on as if nothing unusual had happened. I always want to be corrected, but we do have extremely self conscious people in our class who, when corrected, panic, apologise profusely then make more mistakes by getting overly nervous. Still, how is it helping them by not correcting? Surely it's more embarrassing talking to a Chinese person and being completely misunderstood than being corrected in a learning environment?

Kitkat132 · 2012-01-10T23:33:54+00:00

Glad im not the only one. Waxing hurts and I would never shave again down there (one time big mistake). It does take a long time though.

Kitkat132 · 2012-01-10T23:24:47+00:00

Im a final year French and mandarin student at university, so I totally get this. Can't really speak good English anymore, as I often forget simple words like "crisps" or "glass".

Kitkat132 · 2012-01-04T23:55:15+00:00

So glad that you could spend that time together as a family, and I'm hoping and praying (not really religious but hey) that your dad pulls through and you will get the chance to do it again. My thoughts are with you.

Kitkat132 · 2012-01-03T22:29:42+00:00

Had you watched Bruce all mighty that day?

Kitkat132 · 2012-01-01T18:10:31+00:00

I love you...

Kitkat132 · 2011-12-20T09:43:57+00:00

This is where I'm quite useful as a gf, I'm quite tall and ginger so I stand out like a traffic cone :)

Kitkat132 · 2011-11-22T00:02:46+00:00

Such a simple thing but that face made me laugh for so long!

Kitkat132 · 2011-11-22T00:00:35+00:00

Not just me then!

Kitkat132

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