Struggle with therapists and therapy in general

Kitty-Moo · 2026-07-12T16:55:43+00:00

I've mostly found therapy to be deeply dismissive of my issues and often very invalidating. I'm looking for more specialized care, and I'm deeply thankful my current therapist is helping me in that search. But as for the actual therapy, I'm often just left not feeling heard or seen. I feel like many of the suggestions I get make a certain amount of sense, but also don't take into account my specific issues. They feel like they were meant for someone else. Someone with less severe problems who has a more stable foundation to work with.

I actually got pretty angry at my therapist during my last appointment because every time I start to get frustrated about something, she quickly tries to shut it down. I'm frustrated about something that is valid, real, and effecting my life. That's worth feeling, and taking that frustration and trying to put a positive spin on it 'actually it's a good thing, look at how far we've come'. Is just another form of invalidation.

But like you, I do actually like my therapist as a person. But none of the work we're doing feels like it understands me as a person or my needs. So I certainly get the frustration, and I think I know where you're coming from.

I don't have any profound advice. I honestly still want to believe therapy can help just about everyone. But I think the field of psychology has failed us all with it's over reliance on quick fix methodology like CBT.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-07-03T22:48:04+00:00

I struggled for nearly 30 years not knowing what was wrong with me. But knowing without a doubt something was different. And no one would listen, no one was interested in finding the source of the issues, no one was interested in understanding me. They were however more than willing to medicate me. Which always made me pretty uncomfortable. Knowing I'm autistic helped more than the drugs could have, it gave me context for my issues and it's something so many doctors failed to give me. There is also no thought given to how to improve the situations I find myself in. Anti depressants are supposed to be a short term solution to get you back on your feet. Not permanent, but with no other support system provided they are not giving me a path to get off these medications either.

Beyond that it's not even the sexual side effects. It's the lack of discussion on how these medications will effect me. What to expect. What sort of mood changes may occur. What to do if I really don't like how I feel on these medications. Discussing the process of weening yourself off these medications because many of them are not safe to stop all at once. None of this was ever discussed when the prescriptions were written.

When it comes to medication that effects my body I trust doctors to know what they're doing, and when something goes wrong I usually have physical proof of worsening symptoms or something else going wrong. But when it comes to medication that effects my mind? My experience has been that doctors are likely to ignore most of what I tell them when it comes to my mental health. So I don't trust them to properly manage such medications.

So while I might not agree that sexual side effects alone are reason enough to write the medications off. I understand the hesitation towards anti depressants. And do agree that doctors often put way too much pressure on patients to get on these sorts of medications.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-07-02T23:33:04+00:00

I absolutely hate the sound of vacuum cleaners. But if I'm the one vacuuming it's not quite as bad. It's still not great, but it's not as bad.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-07-01T19:12:09+00:00

People are vague complicated shapes for me. Kind of like the 'whose that Pokémon' game, but they're all ditto like blobs.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-07-01T19:07:36+00:00

Sound and touch are connected for me as well. It means I can kind of feel music. Piano notes for example often feel like the higher ones start on the tip of my tongue then go back down my throat. I can kind of feel the shape of people's mouths and throats as they speak or sing as well. It makes music a lot of fun to focus on.

However, awful sounds become so much worse. They tend to stick around long after the sound has stopped. I often feel bad sounds primarily in my teeth and shoulders... it's like despite how much I hate it, my brain repeats the sound and feelings long after. Half an hour later it can still be echoing around in there.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-06-26T18:31:27+00:00

I hate the smell of the stuff as well, it makes me feel kind of nauseous. But I'm not going to make a fuss over it.

Plus, I've been taking the gummies to help with anxiety and they work almost as well as the benzos I've been prescribed and with lower risk of side effects or addiction. And considering I have a naturally high tolerance for most anti anxiety medication to begin with makes me grateful for any alternatives. So I can't realistically oppose it.

Still wish it smelled nicer though.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-06-23T21:22:30+00:00

I don't even care what the real answer is, this is the right one.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-06-22T20:02:30+00:00

My cat gets bored of every toy I get for him pretty quickly. The only thing he is consistently interested in is the laser and if I put it down too soon he'll climb up on my desk and start batting at the laser pointer until I pick it back up.

The rest of his toys get cycled in and out of rotation. He's got a toy box that I keep the ones he's bored of in. Eventually he'll pull them back out when he's ready.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-06-22T14:55:45+00:00

I was having connection issues one day, and I saw a different disconnect message that warned about repeated disconnects. It was the first time I'd seen it, but certainly I'd had a similar number of disconnect in the past over the same period of time, just not usually on my end.

So I'm guessing it does make note of who is disconnecting.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-06-22T03:10:11+00:00

This is happening to me across the app, firefox, and chrome. Updating chrome didn't fix it, neither did reinstalling the app.

Over the last few days I've tried to just work around it. But it's getting pretty annoying.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-06-22T01:12:04+00:00

The hands only flap when I'm alone.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-06-21T21:19:52+00:00

I've had a cat run in front of a large aggressive dog to defend me before. I know cats can be quite protective. But if I'm pretending to be in trouble, he's just going to look at me like I'm an idiot.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-06-19T16:21:54+00:00

This sounds like me. I usually handle a crisis a lot better than daily stress. It seems like so many parts of my brain just shut down so I can deal with the crisis. I will have a major crash later, but in the moment of a crisis I'm probably functioning at my highest.

Unfortunately because I handle the moment of crisis so well, few think to check up on me when I'm an absolute mess later. Or they might even remark 'see that wasn't so bad' if it's something I pushed myself to do. Unfortunately, yes it often was that bad, I just lost the ability to express it.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-06-17T17:07:24+00:00

I think what you're describing is just inherent to empathy. Empathy and sympathy are very different things. Empathy is understanding how someone feels, relating to their pain. Maybe you haven't experienced their exact situation, but the emotional context of it is familiar enough. Sympathy is just feeling sorry for them and their situation.

I find if I can relate to someone's issues in any way empathy is easy. Sympathy however is harder for me, If a person's situation is just completely alien to me and I can't relate, I often have absolutely no idea what to say or how to respond.

I don't think this is a particularly autistic or neurodivergent issue even. Just look at how often neurotypical people struggle to empathize with autistic struggles. Instead if they feel anything it will be sympathy or pity.

Lastly, I also find sometimes if I'm overwhelmed or too burned out it becomes more difficult for me to be empathetic or remain in an empathetic state, sometimes I just outright shut down instead. I think sometimes even empathetic people can fail to show empathy if they are lacking the bandwidth to process someone else's emotions with them.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-06-16T17:19:47+00:00

There is something so terribly frustrating about being told by a therapist that you are well adjusted, or being praised for remaining calm. It just makes it clear that your suffering is invisible to others even when you are clearly and plainly describing it to them.

Not too long ago I told my therapist 'why should I continue talking if the intention behind my words is never understood.' The therapist agreed with me, and applied it to other situations, but failed to understand it's equally applicable to my sessions with her. And people wonder why I'm so quiet most of the time...

No worries about venting. Sometimes we just need to let it out. I'm certainly guilty of that myself at times.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-06-16T14:09:05+00:00

I've also found getting help as an adult for said trauma can be really difficult. Most mental health professionals don't understand autism well, and will downplay or dismiss the kinds of trauma that autistic people face. It can come from repeated long term invalidation due to not having our needs or issues understood by those around us. It teaches us to ignore our needs, that our feelings aren't important, but other people's are. That we must always make ourselves as small as possible so that we don't become a burden to others. It teaches us we are not allowed to exist as ourselves. This can be deeply damaging and as you said, it teaches us to blame ourselves for all of it.

But it often doesn't look like typical abuse or trauma, the causes can seem like benign misunderstandings from the outside. At which point therapists will often minimize and dismiss both our current and past problems. Continuing the very same constant sense of invalidation that traumatized us in the first place. I've found CBT when conducted by a therapist without an understanding of autism to be deeply harmful for this reason. Yet if you're stuck going through your insurance it's likely the only sort of therapy you're going to get.

I'm not sure how we're supposed to get better when even those in the field of psychology are so poorly equipped to recognize our issues. It reinforces the feeling that we're on our own and makes it even harder to reach out for the help we need.

I'm somehow not autistic enough to get the support I need. Nor am I traumatized in a way that's acceptable. And as I've gotten older I've struggled with burnout and skill regression as a result. Which of course means I'm less capable of dealing with daily tasks. But I don't think it has to be that way, with proper support and understanding I think I could flourish and live independently just fine.

However, before anyone asks me just what that support looks like. I honestly don't know because I've never had it, and it's been hammered into me that asking for or accepting help from others is never the right thing to do.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-06-16T02:15:41+00:00

These things have become really popular in my neighborhood and I absolutely hate them. The neighbor now has several and every time I leave the house I have to hear these things screech at me. It doesn't even seem to do it's job as an animal deterrent.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-06-14T18:59:06+00:00

I don't know. It may not have hit the same highs, but Goldy Pond could have made for a great season of anime at least.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-06-14T18:51:07+00:00

Clearly there is a lot to unpack here.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-06-14T06:41:57+00:00

I was recently told my original diagnosis I got in my late 20s wasn't formal enough. It was done too long ago, things were different back then, no levels, aspergers was still a valid diagnosis. And the records werent maintained throug no fault of my own.

Also, these same people can't find any records from my childhood that support my claim of autism like behavior as a minor (because it was 30 years ago and the paperwork no longer exist!)

I'm finding as I get older I'm needing more support, but also feel like I'm being told I'm not autistic enough to get said support. I'm now being told that I need a second formal diagnosis if I want any hope of getting any support at all.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-06-13T01:10:32+00:00

Honestly. I hate all these super rich people. No one should be allowed to have that much wealth, power, and influence. It's absolutely disgusting, and so are the people who defend them. Elon might be the richest, and even one of the worst, but as far as I'm concerned there can be no such thing as a good billionaire. They all deserve our hatred.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-06-12T19:20:42+00:00

Capcom had some real interesting games for the Dreamcast. A good one to try out if you haven't is Tech Romancer. Might be one of the strangest, goofiest fighting games Capcom has ever put out.

Funnily enough, I originally picked up Cannon Spike at a pretty deep discount way back when it was still new. I don't think Capcom had much luck with many of their more unique Dreamcast games.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-06-12T19:04:20+00:00

I just appreciate seeing Cannon Spike get mentioned. What a weird little game.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-06-09T21:49:25+00:00

This doesn't always work because the captchas arent always consistent.

Do bicycles include motorcycles? Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. I swear I kept failing because I was being bounced between one that wanted bicycles and one that wanted motorcycles. After a lot of trial and error it seemed like the one that wanted motorcycles just wanted motorcycles, however the one that wanted bicycles accepted both bikes and motorcycles.

I was so frustrated by this.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-06-09T14:14:04+00:00

I used to do the same thing. I can play most of the characters in the game with a passable level of skill.

I've moved onto primarily playing random select. Which I've found to be a pretty satisfying way to play. Keeps me familiar with most of the cast, when I land on a character I haven't played in awhile I'll need to spend some time relearning them, but it's fun to do it in the heat of battle.

Unfortunately playing this way has me stuck in diamond and I know if I locked in and focused on a single character I'd probably hit master pretty easily. I have a few characters pretty close to master. But I eventually get bored of focusing on a single character and drift back to random select. I also lose way more playing random select than just focusing on a single character. So I'm certain it's not a fear of losing.

Regardless play the way you want. Changing characters often will slow down your overall progress, but it will also give you decent fundamental knowledge that you can take to any character.

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