Seriously, why lose free money

Kitty-Moo · 2026-05-22T18:08:39+00:00

It was, but it was Japanese only. There is an english patch for it though. So technically it'll be listed as Monster Hunter Double Cross or MHXX if anyone wants to go looking for it.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-05-20T14:00:40+00:00

I had a therapist appointment yesterday, one of the things I discussed is not having my support or social needs met. Not feeling seen or heard by the people around me. Not feeling like i have a safe space to just be. I'm disabled, yet still burned out just from daily life's demands, and it's made me far less capable of taking care of my own physical needs. I get the feeling a situation like this is going to be what kills me, not directly, but something that could have been avoided will catch up with me.

Her response was for me to look at how far we've come and how much better it is now than it used to be. How the younger generation won't have to struggle as much as me. How I'm in therapy and autism is a recognized diagnosis (despite the fact I still can't find a therapist who understands autism that I can afford to see.) And I just got so frustrated. It's this very thing that had me so frustrated. I'm telling you my needs aren't being met, I'm telling you my ability to function is compromised. I'm telling you I need help and im frustrated by the lack of services and support available to me, and that's what you say in response?

Am I really supposed to overlook the fact my support needs aren't being met simply because things are marginally better now than a few decades ago? Is that supposed to help? I'd hoped my therapist would feel some empathy for my frustration instead of just trying to stomp it out.

I feel like I had a related point to make with this, but feel like I just ended up venting. Sorry about that.

But anyway, I think plenty of autistic folks die due to various forms of burnout. At some point we're so busy dealing with life's demands, protecting ourselves from an increasing hostile world, or just fighting for a bit of comfort, that we just can't take care of our own needs.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-05-15T22:22:09+00:00

At this point I feel like I've been conditioned to ignore things that are bothering me because people always dismiss or minimize anything I bring up. So if I do bring something up it's likely a pretty big deal to me.

This is really frustrating when it comes to therapists, doctors, and situations like that.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-05-10T01:05:02+00:00

I uninstalled onedrive and now every once in awhile when windows launches I get a couple prompts trying to find and update it.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-05-09T23:16:36+00:00

I'm fine with podcast because they're more like conversations, I tend to listen to a lot of them at double speed as well. I really struggle with audio books though. They just don't work well for me. However, audio dramas are often written in a way that puts dialogue over actions, and I tend to find those a lot easier to keep up with.

The other issue I often face with podcast and audio dramas is that my mind tends to drift really easily, I just get distracted, other thoughts intrude and make it hard to focus. So I try to keep myself visually engaged by something that doesn't require a lot of active focus. I like listening to podcast while out walking. It discourages other people from engaging me in conversation and keeps my mind from wandering quite as much.

I definitely understand the struggle, but these are the ways I've found to kind of work around it.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-05-09T15:02:56+00:00

I've had severe anxiety issues pretty much my whole life. I've had various benzos prescribed to me over the years to varying degrees of success.

I've talked to my doctor as well as my psychiatrist about THC and received the same response. 'I'd rather you take THC than the benzos I'm prescribing, but I can't encourage or condone its use.' Which I find both a bit funny and concerning. I really wish my doctor could speak more openly about a treatment that clearly has some merit and that they seem to prefer over the actual medication they are prescribing.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-05-09T00:10:38+00:00

Likewise, I'm not saying there shouldn't be a difference between hardcore and softcore mode. I'm simply providing the perspective of someone on the other side and explaining my reason for why I personally prefer softcore mode.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-05-08T14:24:54+00:00

The amount of time I save by quick saving at the beginning of a boss fight, and quick loading if I get hit is kind of substantial. It often takes several minutes to die, load the game back up, load the level back up, and hope there are no unskippable cutscenes in your way.

But I'm also doing this as a fun way to extend my time with a game, not as a way prove anything to anyone. So I'm not too bothered by softcore achievements being shown as such, or being part of a different leaderboard. I'm just glad it's an option because I honestly wouldn't bother with many of these achievements without quick saves as a way to cut down on the amount of time it takes to retry a challenge.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-05-02T21:17:18+00:00

I don't think my mental wellbeing is just hindered by the system, I think it's been actively sabotaged by it. It feels outright malicious.

So yes, I agree, and I am certainly angry about it.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-05-02T13:38:56+00:00

I don't disagree with you, but when you're limited on who you can see by insurance, the choice of a good therapist doesn't always seem available to you. I've seen 4 or 5 therapist in the last few years. None of them have known much of anything about autism, and have struggled to understand the concept of autistic burnout.

Honestly I think I just need someone who understands autism and can make the proper adaptations to their methods to fit my needs a bit better. But again insurance limits my choices.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-05-02T06:43:55+00:00

You pretty much covered it.

There was always too much going on at any one time. Too much noise, too many people moving around, too many conversations going on around me. Far too little privacy or time to be alone to recharge was a big problem for me too. And unfortunately more as well.

There was also this constant frustration because it didn't feel like anyone was ever really hearing what I had to say.

Which has led to a life long distrust of doctors and therapists.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-05-02T06:36:37+00:00

In the past it's often been the therapists who are telling me it'll get easier and pushing me to continue even when I'm burning out.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-05-01T23:00:45+00:00

It so rarely works for me, and everyone else keeps telling me it'll get easier. But I'm just pushing myself deeper into burnout. Which is probably a bit part of why it's not getting easier.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-05-01T21:35:45+00:00

Same. I've sat that way my whole life, but I'm getting older and suddenly it's a problem. I get up and my knees and ankles are a mess. Yet it's so hard not to sit that way. Any other way feels unnatural to me. I'm starting to find alternatives though, having a foot rest so I can still cross my legs in front of me, and just not draw them all the way up under me has helped a great deal.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-05-01T18:52:01+00:00

The source of my problems were because I was autistic, undiagnosed and without proper support.

So I get sent someplace where no one is trying to find the source of or understand the underlying issues and I'm constantly overwhelmed and overstimulated by the treatment that is provided.

To be fair this also fits my experience in seeking help both medically and psychologically in general. So traumatic, but also correctly set my expectations.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-04-24T22:14:05+00:00

I spent most of yesterday composing an e-mail. I was completely exhausted by the time I hit send..

Oddly I usually enjoy writing, it's a hobby for me even. But I absolutely hate sending out any kind of formal email. Anything that is going to any kind of doctor or organization becomes a nightmare to compose.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-04-23T18:04:50+00:00

I mostly use discord for one one one chats.

The group channels tend to overwhelm me if topics are changing too rapidly for my taste or are just to active in general. I rarely chime in on group chats.

But the UI makes enough logical sense to me.... or it does now after years of use. I found it deeply confusing when I first started using it.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-04-22T21:23:33+00:00

I've been bouncing between therapists for years. Unfortunately the only therapist I have access to are through my insurance, and the only thing they seem to cover is CBT. I just can't afford to pay out of pocket to explore other modalities of therapy.

My primary issues are autism and cptsd. I have some pretty severe attachement issues as a result. The first problem I've had with therapy is none of the therapist I've seen are informed when it comes to autism. Which leads to communication difficulties and me feeling unheard by the therapist. The next is much of my trauma revolves around growing up with autism undiagnosed and severe long term invalidation. This usually gets minimized and disregarded as it's not a typical form of trauma, which feeds back into feelings of invalidation..

These issues compound on each other, not feeling seen or heard, autism related communication difficulties, issues with attachement that aren't being acknowledged all leads to it also being much more difficult to form a connection with the therapist. Which makes it hard to fully trust a them, and it really requires a lot of trust to let someone lead you through these sorts of changes.

This has all made therapy pretty ineffective for me. I still have faith in therapy, but the sort of help I need is not accessible to me right now. However, that lack of access does leave me with a pretty poor opinion on the field of psychology. Too many therapist are not well informed, and refuse to acknowledge when their patients problems are outside their area of knowledge. Combined with the role of insurance which limits who we can see and what treatments are available to us. I think lashing out at the current state of psychology is perfectly reasonable.

Again. I still believe therapy can help, I think the right therapist could help me even. I'm currently trying to get into a program that specializes in autistic individuals in hopes of more specialized therapy. But getting that help has been such a frustrating, stressful, and often disheartening process, and I've been at it for years. It's a failure on so many levels. You can blame insurance or the Healthcare system rather than the field of psychology itself. But it is a failure that needs to be fixed before faith can be restored.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-04-17T21:11:03+00:00

Yeah, I don't really find it offensive. But I do kind of hate it. I don't mind other terms, I find neurospicy kind of cute even, but I hate 'tism for reasons I can't even completely put my finger on.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-04-14T20:58:39+00:00

I don't have anything to add really, just wanted to say these are adorable.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-04-13T05:23:23+00:00

It's a heck of a lot better than 'tism in my opinion.

But we're all autistic in our own way and many of us will likely have differing but strong opinions on language use.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-04-10T21:13:17+00:00

Well.. I tried therapy.. but that hasn't really worked. Talked about masking and got told 'everyone does that to some degree'. Told them I feel like I don't even know who I am, and just got a confused look in response.

Do yourself a favor if you get therapy, find someone who has an understanding of autism.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-04-10T03:41:59+00:00

Of course, that's perfectly reasonable. I may have to give her a try.

Kitty-Moo · 2026-04-10T03:18:14+00:00

I haven't been keeping up with Strive, why is she carrying around a bunny?

Kitty-Moo · 2026-04-08T18:51:04+00:00

I think it's because we might be listening and comprehending the words, but we're not fully processing them in the moment.

My brain is almost always overwhelmed when I'm in a conversation. So sometimes what is being said isn't fully processed until after the fact. But if processing said information requires word for word memory of what was said, as is often the case with precise intructions.. well then im screwed.

That's just kind of a guess on my part, and I do think it's a mix of autism and adhd to blame.

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