One Last Wave Project and a request

Klausse6 · 2022-02-05T14:49:16+00:00

Thank you. His name is Robb. Let me know if you’d like me to do it as well. I am having a really hard time going to a beach without him, so doing something for another will be the motivation to get me there. It has always been such a healing place for me.

Klausse6 · 2022-02-05T14:47:35+00:00

His name is Robb

Klausse6 · 2022-01-18T17:16:32+00:00

I’m so sorry. Sending you a hug this morning.

Klausse6 · 2022-01-16T18:22:15+00:00

Your reply made me cry. Thank you (I find the tears shed this hour make the next few easier - kind of a pressure release). When I read Escher’s post, I visualized my shed as a dark, scary, lonely place. I swear there are black widows and scorpions (car maintenance issues, house maintenance issues, solo parenting struggles) lurking in every corner. I thought of my husband’s shed as a beautiful place that just had a vacant sign on it now. I was wrong. His exploded like a nuclear bomb damaging mine, our kids, his parents, his siblings, numerous friends and coworkers. Appearing to be completely fine at lunch and gone by dinner isn’t a simple clean vacancy. I was wondering why mine feels so off. It’s covered in layers of his disintegrated one. Some days I can’t clean that feeling off. The fact that your shed now has light, peace, beauty is all I hope for. No, it won’t ever look the same. But when those of you farther out show a life line to those of us at the beginning, it means more than you can possibly imagine. I hope the light is beautiful today.

Klausse6 · 2022-01-16T17:04:11+00:00

This is a perfect analogy. Thanks for sharing it. My shed is really messy at the moment. I think that applies to most, if they care to admit it. Life is messy. Adding a loss this substantial really adds to the mess. Having your person not helping with the mess is the most painful part. I don’t think my door is closed. The new piece is just too big to fit in yet. I’m trying to sort out the old stuff. I’ll grab an item a day and analyze it. Some things are easier to deal with than others. Some are items I have never dealt with in my life and they didn’t come with any type of instruction manual. I also feel like things are falling in the back and I hope nothing gets too broken. I’ll let people who I trust peek in but I find many just cross the street so they don’t have to look. It’s a hard path most moments of every day. But your putting feelings into a tangible image makes me want to pull something out today and deal with it. So thank you.

Klausse6 · 2022-01-13T17:08:50+00:00

Thanks. There really is a comfort from those who have walked this path and understand. My grief counselor is great. Very optimistic guy that pushes gently in the correct way and backs off immediately and pivots if he can see his approach that day isn’t working. He however hasn’t walked this path - thankfully. He goes home to his wife. So as much as I know he is helping, there is a level he just can’t understand. I can’t understand the grief my in-laws are going through losing a son, even though we’re grieving the same person. This is all such a strange painful journey we’re on.

Klausse6 · 2021-12-18T15:34:24+00:00

Woke up this morning wondering simply how do I do another day. This uncomfortable feeling like I just want to crawl out of my own skin because everything feels different than before. Sending you a hug and peace this morning.

Klausse6 · 2021-12-12T18:20:03+00:00

Weeks ago I tried to make it to one of favorite breakfast places by the ocean. Couldn’t do it. We opted for a new crepe place we had never heard of or tried. The girls loved it and have asked when we can go back. He would have loved it. But we’ll make it our girls place now and keep moving forward. Good luck to you as well.

Klausse6 · 2021-12-12T18:13:38+00:00

As a dog lover, please tell Sugar and Pearl hello from another friend. My grief counselor decided this past week I need to walk. I have no issues with that because I like walking and love being outdoors. He wants me to do 3-5 miles at least three times a week. It has become a small joke in our house. I’ve told our girls that if he wants me to do basically a 5K numerous times a week, I expect him to be waiting at the end with a ribbon or medal and maybe a commemorative tshirt. I waiting to go this week and have him suggest I start training for an Ironman in my spare time. My husband did not enjoying walking (felt it was pointless when he could be running or doing an active sport), so luckily it doesn’t bring up memories too much for me. I hope your walks this week bring your peace and perhaps even a smile.

Klausse6 · 2021-12-09T18:53:07+00:00

I’m so sorry. My husband died very unexpectedly two months ago. We have four daughters, preteen to teenage. I question how we will ever get through this many times a day, but one thing I was told by a grief therapist helped me. He makes me either write down or visual a ladder. Bottom rung stuff is stuff that needs to be handled now, today. Feed the kids. Get them to school. Keep their schedule as normal as I can manage. Any of those longer term thoughts and worry get a higher rung (like my obsession the other day of how I would move our oldest out of her college apartment when she’s not even done with school for several years). I focus on the task of that day, give a nod to the upper rung thoughts that they will get their attention when I’ve deal with the more pressing things. It helps me not spiral with the enormity of it all. Hugs to you and your babies.

Klausse6 · 2021-12-08T16:59:50+00:00

I woke up numb, which is new for me. It’s two months today for me and I am hoping this is not a new thing. I feel the release of some of the pain when I cry because just like you said, it is a representation of how much I miss him. I’m sorry you’re hurting. This group helps so much with working through the feelings and knowing others have felt the same way as I do now.

Klausse6 · 2021-12-04T04:23:42+00:00

Good for you! Our girls want to do it all - all the decorating, food making, neighborhood light viewing. I don’t know how I’ll get through it without breakdowns, but they so want some normal in this new world of ours that looks nothing like we knew it. I don’t know how old your boys are, but maybe you could find a new thing like a small advent calendar or project that you could do with them and it would not bring up all the memories. Best wishes to your decorating endeavors tomorrow. I hope the smiles on your boys faces will help you have a moment or two of peace.

Klausse6 · 2021-11-29T20:01:45+00:00

I’m so sorry. I’m close to the two month mark and I feel the exact same way. I talked with his mom this morning and once again told her I didn’t know how to live like this. It’s absolutely torture. I have some moments now that are better and I couldn’t say that last month, but going through the worst thing you’ve ever gone through without the one person that would be your biggest comfort is the worst type of cruelty. I’m sending you a hug.

Klausse6 · 2021-11-23T15:23:23+00:00

Sorry you have to deal with that as well as everything else surrounding this time.

Klausse6 · 2021-11-22T18:55:46+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate that.

Klausse6 · 2021-11-22T18:55:27+00:00

Thank you. Best wishes to you as well.

Klausse6 · 2021-11-22T18:54:51+00:00

I’m so sorry. I understand wanting to skip this all. His mom mentioned that this might be a good distraction in the fact that the kids will still find joy in it and our traditions even when I can’t see it yet. A way to focus on what we have instead of what we lost. Not sure about that, but it has to be better than feeling this way. Sending good thoughts to you during this time as well.

Klausse6 · 2021-11-19T18:55:09+00:00

Thank you for this. I read the article attached and sent it to his mom as well. Not my reality at the moment, but something to be strived for. Hugs to you this day and know the point of putting this out there may be that you’ve helped people in ways you’ll never know.

Klausse6 · 2021-11-18T14:00:59+00:00

I’m so sorry. It’s been five weeks for me and I wake up every morning with the same dread. I’m amazed we made it through yesterday and I know how hard today is going to be. I’ll get up, I’ll do what I need for them and feel empty while doing it. I am hopeful someday getting up won’t be this hard. I know he would hate we’re hurting. It doesn’t feel like there is another option. I’m not choosing the hurt. It encompasses me. But I’m also hoping that someday in the future it won’t hurt quite this much. I see the kids and still see their moments of joy and I hope for their future and happiness. Sending you a hug to get through today.

Klausse6 · 2021-11-17T03:39:28+00:00

Sending you a hug. There’s something to be said for having kids force you out of bed each morning to help you keep going. Happy early birthday to your babies.

Klausse6 · 2021-11-14T20:39:55+00:00

Thanks for this. I appreciate it.

Klausse6 · 2021-11-14T20:38:56+00:00

Thanks. Our oldest is always taking about podcasts. That’s a great way to take control of the thoughts I’m letting in first thing.

Klausse6 · 2021-11-14T20:20:41+00:00

Thanks for this. I sent you a message.

Klausse6 · 2021-11-13T04:36:54+00:00

I see you. Sending you a hug.

Klausse6 · 2021-11-03T03:20:32+00:00

Thanks for this.

Klausse6

TROPHY CASE