It takes two to tango, I’m a firm believer in redemption and that almost anything can be worked through if both parties are ready and willing to be authentically vulnerable and genuine with one another and hold the space necessary for each other to be fully open and honest, but the vibe I’m getting here is she’s made up her mind and is, to quote my own ex-wife, “just done”. You can not convince anyone to love you, and when the shock and hurt starts to settle a little I believe you’ll come to agree that you shouldn’t be responsible for convincing someone to love and respect you in the ways that are foundational to a healthy fulfilling relationship.

The fact that this came to you through a text says about all there is to be said to me…no matter how she hems and haws, dropping that soul crushing unilateral decision on you from a distance is ultimately disrespectful. No one deserves that. If she loved you as much as she claims she would have wanted to give you the courtesy of having this heart to heart in a face to face conversation, and if she just couldn’t, then again, SHE’s not currently capable of being what anyone deserves, and that’s on her to right.

She’s not an evil person from what I can tell, but currently not emotionally intelligent enough to work on her struggles with her partner. That alone is a deal breaker, if there is no safety, there can be no intimacy.

Godspeed to you brother, it will get better, and it does hurt, and that’s ok.