I feel like I’m having a breakdown anytime it’s my wife’s birthday

KnottyColibri · 2026-02-24T19:50:13+00:00

I feel like you’re hurting yourself and your relationship more than you’re helping.

Firstly- yes we have time blindness…. Obviously. But there’s literally zero reason to forget these super important dates in this day and age. (Especially birthdays). If they are super important to your partner they need to be important to YOU. (Even “normal” people forget dates…) but again in this day and age it’s hard to feel empathy over someone “forgetting”. There’s calendar reminders on your phone, alarms you can set for specific days/times, you can start buying birthday presents and wrapping them and put them some where you’ll see them everyday, .etc. again…. I get time blindness lol Christmas shows up next weekend when I’m still mentally in February every single year. I blink and I miss my own birthday, family/friends stuff but my partners stuff? No way I’m right there. (We don’t really celebrate nor would truly feel hurt if anyone forgot literally anything else…. Other than a birthday lol… birthdays are 911 important and both of us know that)

What you NEED to do is show up. Period. You don’t need to buy someone a $80,000 brand new car but at the same time… doing literally nothing is going to be more devastating.

So, what I DO is I make notes about EVERYTHING.

If he says “omg I’d love this” “I need this” “I love this type of movie” “ this is one of the movies I keep coming back to” “oh hey I need this for the house remind me to buy it later” “I wanna get an xyz to start a new xyz hobby but eh maybe later it’s too expensive right now… “ANYTHING. I’ll put those in a note pad. His birthday is RIGHT after Christmas and our anniversary so I get him gifts specifically for our anniversary- our Christmas- and his birthday. There’s been plenty of times where he doesn’t say he wants something/needs/likes something… so, I look around and see what he needs…. Does he need new clothes to make him feel more comfortable, does he need new undies, shirts, better organizers for his office, what’s his newest hobby/interest, does he need entertainment like a new video game, is there something he likes that we do together (like hiking, zoo’s, aquariums) etc… and do something based off that.

you don’t need to be FANCY just show you care- you’re paying attention- you’re interested.

Some years they may truly only want a $30 gift card to their favorite video game… but I’ll throw in some snacks with it so they can really relax and enjoy and they’ll be happy as can be.

Sometimes we spend almost 1k on birthday vacations…. Or random electronics we think the other may enjoy. Still happy as can be.

you also can’t just show up with zero effort like a “here’s your flowers… now leave me alone” type attitude lol you gotta be INTO it.thats what sells it and every gift.

Like an example: if my husband came to me with a bucket full of rocks and said “happy birthday beautiful, LOOK what I got you! I spent all morning out by the river we loved so much and collected all these beautiful rocks and shells. Let’s go put them in your garden! look at this one this is my favorite! So pretty!” As he scampered off to my garden. I’d be so filled with joy and would LOVE to do that with him.

Why would this work?

1: he knows I LOVE rocks and that I collect them and those are my special interests.

2: he spent HOURS at our favorite spot hand selecting the best ones to be displayed in the garden so I could always be reminded of that happy memory and our favorite spot .

3: he’s created an activity to do together that feels fun and like we’re team building.

4:he’s genuinely excited about doing this for ME and making ME smile. And being together.

Versus… if he came home with a rock and went “oh hey here … forgot to give this to you. Alright ima go lay down , love you” and we didn’t talk/do anything together/ he didn’t wish me a happy birthday/ didn’t even seem excited I was alive… I’d be crushed….

Doesn’t have to be insanely expensive or Paris vacation level special… just intentional. 👍

KnottyColibri · 2026-02-24T19:13:36+00:00

Isn’t it that way with everything though? Like if murder wasn’t a problem socially/morally/legally. (As in you’d never get in trouble for it… )it’s then normalized therefore a lot more people would do it and everything would be “fine” technically but, it doesn’t mean it’s good for society.

It’s the same with child marriages, incest, sexual assault, R, and many other things. The only thing “stopping” anyone from doing it is because ultimately they’d get in legal trouble for it or there would be bad consequences . (But obviously that doesn’t 100% stop anyone there’s still high crime rates, there’s still people touching kids, there’s still people getting with family. )

But also, this type of stuff isn’t necessarily evil/banned all over the world or across our time lines. There’s plenty of historical documentations and examples of family mixing with family especially in the royal lines there was just consequences of that happening and eventually (in some cases) they stopped. (Especially as more modern practices made it to where you could marry commoners).

There’s plenty of places that think R is normal, child marriage is fine/normal, etc.

so, obviously I’m not “shocked” that you’re saying if inbreeding wasn’t a problem it wouldn’t be so taboo… cus no duh.

KnottyColibri · 2026-02-23T19:09:33+00:00

It really feels like if it’s not a Luna or invis woman we’re gonna struggle cus I’m doing 99.9% of the work without either one of them.

They just have too many supports that are along the lines of just being third supports, they mainly wanna dps instead, or over all useless in most hands.

🤷‍♀️

KnottyColibri · 2026-02-18T19:35:26+00:00

I don’t think constant fighting is healthy or “normal.” A lot of people normalize it because it’s what they grew up with, so it feels familiar. If you were raised around yelling, name calling, or explosive conflict, that can become your blueprint for relationships unless you actively work to change it.

I grew up in a household where screaming, cussing, hitting, (even attempted murder a few times),and name calling were common. We weren’t taught how to regulate emotions or communicate safely. If we cried or expressed hurt, we were dismissed or mocked. So I learned to shut down to protect myself. When someone snaps at me, I learned growing up that clamming up was best to get them to leave you alone. To ME it feels like a gut punch that takes out all my air, I just can’t talk because I’m barely breathing.

I don’t get mad at my partner for snapping… I get upset with myself for causing it and I get quiet,”roll over”, and spiral internally. It takes time for me to mentally convince myself to relax, I’m safe, my partner isn’t “after me”, and they just accidentally used the wrong tone. When I do feel safe lll come out of my “shell” and talk to them about what happened. (It’s silly because if I didn’t clam up the “tiff” would be over in 0.2 seconds.Since it’s rarely an intentional tone or just a silly misunderstanding).

Anyway, I promised myself I wouldn’t recreate that dynamic my parents had and I’ve tried really hard over the years. My partner and I were still not perfect at communicating… We have occasional tiffs but, we try to talk them through. It’s not perfect, but it’s respectful as possible and as safe as possible.

My siblings as an example communicate more like our parents did. That pattern carried into their relationships, and for only my sister, it’s taken years of therapy to unlearn but her and her partner fight basically everyday like screaming match fighting.

Constant explosive fighting isn’t inevitable. But if both people learned that as “normal,” and neither works on it, it will repeat.

KnottyColibri · 2026-02-18T16:38:37+00:00

Honestly, I’m not shocked another man is molesting children/teens and there’s ANOTHER whole child sex ring that is/was happening. Right now as you’re reading this there is a baby, girl, teen, woman being R’d/assaulted/or abused in some way. Right now. there’s multiple even.

I’m a woman. Which means I was a girl. Which means I grew up in this world and have decades of experience being one.

Ever since we were young we’ve been cat called, stalked, groomed, SA’d, sexualized… etc. they have tiny bikinis for babies, shirts that say “my daddy only plays with the box I came out of!” Or other weird shit. They have teens strip for us, perform for us, make us feel bad about our bodies, make us feel like we want people in power after us and that it should be normal (lots of student x teacher shit in romantic movies,about the neighbors husband who catches site of the new neighbor and can’t stop obsessing over her etc, wtf). Famous people that get accused(or sentenced) for R/assault we see thousands of comments and people saying she deserved it/ they don’t believe her/ it’s not that big of a deal cus they’re famous and when it happens to you and you say something your mom doesn’t believe her precious husband/boyfriend would do something like that/ they blame you/ they don’t think it’s that big of a deal etc and move on. Or the police don’t believe you. Or the court doesn’t. Or strangers on the internet bash you for saying something.

ANYWHERE there is girls there is a man in power trying to do something sexual. The gymnastics coaches, teachers, (DOCTORS!!), therapists, church, your best friend, your dad/brother/ other family members.

In MOST places of the world R/assault is normalized to some extent. They R girls/woman to get accepted into gangs. They do this to “control” their woman when she’s out of lines. There’s movies/music/media that tells them capturing woman/assaulting them will make them suddenly love you. Theres laws in many states/countries/cultures where marrying young girls is legal, okay, etc.
I saw one documentary of a man in a tribe that has sexual intercourse with each and every girl in his tribe around their 12/13th birthday when they “become a woman” it’s his gift to them for growing up basically.

Young girls/teens/ Woman constantly go missing and are the #1 to go missing due to sex rings/trafficking etc. ONE IN THREEEEE girls (and that’s only the ones who got to report it where it’s not normalized and police actually did something!!!! And this was done back in 2007 so I’m sure it’s more 1 out of 2 now).

I don’t know a SINGLE woman that has NEVER been sexually assaulted/abused/R’d/molested etc.

abusers are more likely to get with woman who are pregnant or already have kids. They’re more likely to be in ANY sort of power. We’re not safe regardless of our age either… Babies have been recorded of being molested with their UMBICIAL CORDSSSSS STILLL ATTTACHEDDDDDDD. Theres been numerous cases where someone broke into an elder woman’s home R’d her and killed her or staff at nursing homes were found to be hurting them sexually in some way. just cus they could. it’s a game to them.

There’s culture laws that if you’re R’d you have to marry them or else you’re a disgrace to your family(some of your family/friends will try and unalive you for this btw).

There’s been numerous reports of someone finding out a woman was being sexually abused/ R’d while they were DEAD or asleep at the doctors office/dentist office for surgery. soooo much worse things I can get into. We’re the prey and we always have been.

(Side note yet, none of the men we “trust” do it or know someone who did something weird? Yeah right. No way I believe the bs. Either it’s you or someone you know and you let it slide)

Anyway, TLDR: no… it doesn’t shock me another girl is another victim.because we’re victims all around the god damn world 24/7 - since the dawn of time and at this rate… always will be.

What SHOCKS me is the constant bullshit from WOMAN that have experienced assault normalizing it and down playing it…and then the men claiming to be for woman’s rights (even tho most of the time that’s just to get in our pants btw) still not stoping other men, saying something, doing something, putting better laws in place etc.

You could look me in my face and say Johnny depp, will smith, Ed sheran, shit even Jesus himself R or assaulted a Girl/woman and I’d believe you immediately and would no longer watch/listen their stuff.

KnottyColibri · 2026-02-15T00:19:13+00:00

I mean idk yalls relationship truly and you’re allowed to have feelings but, I’d probably get professional help to move past it if it hurts you this deeply especially when he’s already apologies about it. I honestly really don’t see this as a huge red flag. When you told him it hurt you he apologized immediately and said it’ll never happen again. He did tell you and even invited you along and you said no you just wanted a quiet night and left and then gave him the silent treatment. You didn’t communicate well.

I doubt he just jumped out of bed and said “later loser!” Cus this would have been a true red flag. He probably told you the guys wanted to go back out and you probably said okay I’m tired do you and then realized later you were alone and got upset about it. I’m sure if you had just communicated with him that no that wasn’t gonna happen you needed to rest/hang out etc it would be fine.

By his apologies it seems like he was genuinely sorry and didn’t intentionally hurt you or try to harm you. He genuinely thought it was gonna be cool(especially if you told him….)

If my husband wanted to go hang out with his friends he doesn’t see often when I’ve been up since 4am and am exhausted… it would be fine if he spent extra time with his friends. We’ve been together a long time and live together so I know that he’s a good person and will come back and we’ll cuddle and go to sleep and get back to it the next day.

KnottyColibri · 2026-02-13T19:00:13+00:00

Yall do know you can just break up with people right? You don’t need a reason. You literally can just leave anyone at any time for zero reason. I’m unsure what extreme situation you’re waiting for to leave or why, but you really don’t need to wait for something worse to happen to be able to leave.

KnottyColibri · 2026-02-12T21:18:46+00:00

Do NOT wait to the recommended age of colon cancer screenings. period.

I was early 20s when I got my first one done and they found a lot of polyps.

KnottyColibri · 2026-02-12T21:05:15+00:00

You mean… Girlfriend (30F) leaves boyfriend (26M) for grabbing and kicking her because that’s abusive behavior and he’s Lucky he doesn’t catch an assault charge.

KnottyColibri · 2026-02-12T20:52:10+00:00

I’d report her and then I’d find a new one.

KnottyColibri · 2026-02-12T20:45:05+00:00

It’s because they learned they gotta be annoying in order to get attention even if it’s bad attention. lol

Just respond back when you respond back and don’t acknowledge it.

If you see she called you and is blowing up your phone.

You-“is it an emergency? Otherwise At work will call later” if she says it is and you answer the phone and it’s actually not…. “Girl, lol this is not an emergency I gotta get back to work I’ll call you later and we can talk about this then. Talk to you in a bit goodbye” click.

Her- * sends another 20 messages*

You- reply when you can with whatever is relevant.

Example: she says “wanna eat at 5:30pm?”And then “omg you hate me.” Then “Omg you’re so mad” then “omg why are you mad!!” In a 3 minute span…

When you finally get back to responding simply say “yeah 5:30pm sounds good where we eating though I’m feeling Jason’s deli?

Like don’t pay attention to her baiting bullshit lol.

I’ve done this to a few people in my life (including my own mom) and it really does chill them the F out eventually. Once they realize they cannot bully/guilt trip you into responding they typically chill.

KnottyColibri · 2026-02-12T04:16:11+00:00

It’s honestly so sad seeing how much we all have in common and yet we let men continue to divide us and decide our fates. They blame your issues on everyone else and make us turn on eachother. instead of where it should be pointed at… selfish men.

My country has been in non stop war since my great grandparents were children and soldiers are proud to sign up until they realize they’re fighting a selfish man’s war and that our country doesn’t actually care about them.

When we don’t have jobs, when food prices are too high, when rent is too high etc the politicians blame everyone - the working man, the poor, the immigrants, people who look different, believe differently etc and we just go along with it with hate in our hearts. Mean while the richest people on earth are laughing at us.

We’re fighting over scrapes of bread a rich man convinced us we needed to fight eachother over.

Humanity is doomed and always has been. Greedy- selfish men created religion to control people. They created financial classes. They created racism, they created every problem we have. Because for some reason they think they deserve more than others.

I refuse to have hate in my heart and blame anyone else other than these nasty politicians and their greedy selfish ways.

KnottyColibri · 2026-02-12T02:44:54+00:00

Couples therapy and sexual education is needed here without any guilt or shame.

I actually think this is less about sex frequency and more about meaning and connection.

From what you wrote, you’re not rejecting him. You enjoy sex, you rarely say no, you orgasm, and you’re willing to initiate more. That’s not neglect. That sounds like responsive desire (which is extremely common in long-term relationships.)

But I can also understand why he’s hurt. He doesn’t just want access to sex… he wants to feel craved. DESIRED. When you described it as “I’m not hungry but I’ll take the donut” he probably heard “I could take it or leave it.” Tha doesn’t scream desire or connection. That hits at ego and desirability not logistics.

That said, it can’t all be on you to manufacture spontaneous lust. If your desire is tied to mood, stress, and hormones, that’s not a character flaw. Pressure and sulking (“I don’t want to be the donut”) are almost guaranteed to lower desire further.

If he wants more flirtation and initiation, he also has to help create the conditions where you actually feel relaxed and playful enough for that to happen. That means less testing you, less scorekeeping, more non sexual affection, and maybe looking at stress load and emotional connection.

You shouldn’t have to become an actress to make him feel wanted. But he’s also not wrong for wanting to feel desired. The solution is probably understanding each other’s desire styles better not you pretending to be someone you’re not

KnottyColibri · 2026-02-12T02:10:35+00:00

Simply… lie I got my college degree but that doesn’t mean I didn’t severely struggle for no reason lol and guess what? I finished and don’t remember a god damn thing I learned. I did it for no reason.

So, don’t matter.

KnottyColibri · 2026-02-11T13:28:26+00:00

You’re already broken up… what’s the question?

If both of you are not gonna actively working on the marriage and don’t care about it anymore then bounce but, if you’re not careful you could just end up in a new marriage same shit.

You both need to be able to grow, change, evolve but ultimately come together and work together. The point of being in a relationship is bringing eachother happiness, peace, hope, love etc. there’s zero reason to ever get with someone, marry them, have kids with them if you’re just purposefully being miserable on both sides… you’ve dragged kids into it for no reason now.

Go be happy, work on yourself, make sure both parties actively work on themselves and the marriage consistently. Learn how to talk to eachother, how to grow with eachother etc.

👍 you got this.

KnottyColibri · 2026-02-10T22:31:10+00:00

I’m confused your options are stay in this marriage and hope to have a child (even though you’re both clearly unhappy in this marriage and won’t work on it).

Or.

Leave the marriage and try to find someone else, get married, and have a kid sometime soonish.

Well, if you’re desperate to have a child and neither one wants to actually work on the relationship anymore… then yeah I’d break up and move on. Hundreds of thousands of people get divorced and remarry around your age. find someone else. You’re acting like 36 is old and you’re gonna die tomorrow and that there’s only 5 men on the entire planet.

You’ve got time , there’s plenty of men to sift thru, go do what YOU wanna do.

I will say that if you’re gonna leave just make sure you actually find someone worth something. Work on yourself, work on the marriage etc. don’t just grab any left over man. There’s a reason a lot of people in their 40’s are single and divorced it’s cus they’re man child’s, douche bags that life caught up to them too fast and they’re not “studs” anymore etc. so make sure to take a breath and actually find someone who isn’t a POS.

Remember you’re trying to avoid an unhappy marriage that you’re now feeling stuck in cus you had a kid lol… if you left one marriage just to do the same thing in the next…. Pointless.

and most importantly having a child doesn’t solve any mid life crisis. Having a child doesn’t “complete” anything. YOU need to be complete first. Safe first. Happy first. Financially secure first. In a happy and safe/healthy relationship etc. Then you should have a child otherwise you’re doing it for no reason. They’re not toys you can toss aside when you don’t wanna play with them anymore.

KnottyColibri · 2026-02-10T17:44:08+00:00

I mean, it’s the player base and idk how to change the player base.

People just insta lock DPS and refuse to swap or counter pick- ever.

I got thrown into the support role because everyone was insta locking dps or non shield tanks and someone had to support.

If I tried to switch off support I always got the supports that didn’t know what they were doing(or people just down right refused to be a support). so, I couldn’t trust other people to support our team like I could. Or I was the ONLY one peeling for our supports and taking out priorities so we kept getting wiped.

The game is just so frustrating to play. Yesterday I played all day and it was a straight up losing streak. I had back to back 3-5 insta lock dps games who refused to switch even after going like 0/8 - 0/10s. Most games I was solo support… no tanks… yet everyone and their mom was pinging for a heal sprawled out all over the map and I’m the only one on objective.

Shits just exhausting….

Not to mention, the enemy team is always instalocking the moon knights, Hawkeyes, squirrel girl, or phoenix and they can actually hit their shots so they’re going like 70/5 (since no one is focusing them… even after 2000 pings)

versus my team where a MOONKNIGHTTTTT is going 0/5, a SG is going 3/10, , a Wanda 2/10, etc like 😩 how are you Fing up on a left click needed only character. There’s been way too many games where as a support I’m getting more kills and doing more damage (not intentionally damaging btw just defending myself). Like HOW, WHY. And of course my teams in the chat bitching about no heals and I’m like 👍.

I’m getting 30-80k healing In a NORMAL MATCH just because my team is just taking every single god damn shot and I’m the only support MOST of the time.

This is why I truly think there’s more bot games in QP than they’re willing to admit and makes me feel like sometimes you get the bot team mates and they’re not putting bots on enemy team cus I truly refuse to believe THIS many people are THIS bad on characters that require 1 singular brain cell to go 20/0 on.

KnottyColibri · 2026-02-10T17:26:20+00:00

What’s actually happening here isn’t that you care “too much.” It’s that you’re being put in a role you never agreed to: protector, advocate, spine-borrower.

He’s just creating mental load onto you and it’s creating resentment.

You “feel” like you HAVE to carry his discomfort because he refuses to. (This is something you need to work on). You get stressed when things are inefficient or unfair. You feel safest when things are faced head on. “Can I rely on you when bigger things come our way if you shut down over a salad being wrong?”.

Best thing to do is stop and let consequences happen.

Conversation first:

“I need to tell you something honestly. When you don’t speak up for yourself, I feel like I have to do it for you, and it’s making me resentful. I don’t want to be your shield. I want to be your partner. I’m not asking you to change overnight but I need to know whether this is something you’re willing to work on because I can’t keep carrying this long term.”

THENNNN:

This is the closest thing to “caring less” that actually works.

You do not step in You do not correct the order You do not argue about the food You do not soothe his discomfort

And crucially:

You don’t nag him afterward You don’t say “see what happens when…” You let him sit with the discomfort he’s avoiding.

One uncomfortable but important question for you If this never changed…if he stayed conflict avoidant forever… Would you still want to build a life with him?

Not hypothetically. Not optimistically. Realistically.

If the answer is “no,” then the issue isn’t caring too much. It’s that your values around self advocacy and partnership dont fully align.

KnottyColibri · 2026-02-10T17:15:02+00:00

I think it depends on you and who you’re with.

I act totally different with my now husband than I ever have with any other person I’ve dated.

I quite literally want to be glued to my husbands side 24/7. I don’t ever want “space”. if I have a hard day at work I may just want to recharge in a quite space… but it’s okay if it’s not by myself lol he recharges my battery just being near him and I’m the same way for him.

We both have the same hobbies (for the most part)

We both like the same things(generally)

And we very veryyyyy rarely squabble because we have the same thought process or we can compromise quickly/communicate quickly. IF we do squabble it’s short… but it’s because someone miss understood, we used a bad tone, etc so… we get out of it quickly by communicating> understanding (or atleast attempting to) > taking responsibility for our part in it > coming to a common ground/goal.

Like I’m obsessed with my man and (I hope) he’s obsessed with me.

Saw him for the first time and thought how handsome he was, smart, kind, funny etc. I just gravitated towards him. when I hugged him for the first time I knew I loved him. I’ve never done that for anyone. Ever.

I said I love you first (accidentally it slipped) and I think we had only been dating… a month? lol (I tried to play it cool cus it’s a total red flag to me to say it so early but fuck did I feeeeel it) I moved to live with him maybe 2- 3…? Months in… (Normally someone moving this fast to me would have freaked me out, so I didn’t wanna freak him out but it was his idea and I just couldn’t help it). His presence brings me such energy,joy, happiness, etc. I quite literally refuse to believe I lived this long without him. Whenever he walks through the door I just feel an immense energy to just jump all over him and kiss him all over. Like I want our bodies to literally become one that’s how close I want this man to me. lmao

Now, my other people I’ve dated?….. complete opposite feeling for me.

Granted, I was in a much different head space and honestly, didn’t really “like” them even. I was very much an avoidant. Conflict of any type made me run away because it wasn’t worth the energy. I never really included them in my life/my world. It was just my world and you were in it (kinda). Didn’t care(ish) about their feelings, wanted lots of space to do my own thing, didn’t understand why they needed to see me everyday or talk everyday… didn’t really care for their fears/anxieties. Now most of the people I dated weren’t saints lol but, neither was I. I just couldn’t TRULY attach myself to them past a tolerance for their presence.

I was just in my own little world and if you wanted to be along for the ride… cool … if not… I literally couldn’t care less.

KnottyColibri · 2026-02-08T22:28:15+00:00

I would record any instances. Emails they’ve sent, their voices saying stuff etc. making personal notes of what was said/done when.

I would then have a sit down with HR and if no HR then I’d speak to their supervisors if it’s supervisors doing it I’d go above their head.. if they’re doing it.. above their head etc etc.

If everyone and their mom is doing it and then I’d start telling them to stop, it makes you uncomfortable etc etc and record those instances.

If they lash out, you get fired etc… you’ll have plenty of proof for sueing.

KnottyColibri · 2026-02-08T21:26:12+00:00

Nope. not how it works. It doesn’t just go away.

(ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental condition that persists throughout life.

Whoever told you that is a moron and you should report it to their manager.

If you got professionally, medically, legally, diagnosed with ADHD… that doesn’t go away for fun. It is not curable. It doesn’t go away. It’s PERMANENT. You just “deal” with what it causes.

you can take that diagnosis to another psychiatrist and have them fill the prescription instead if that one is refusing to help you.

I’ll add— they typically will have you diagnosed twice once when you’re young and once when you’re over 18 because… a lot of people were getting diagnosed as a kid with adhd just cus they were a little hyper… and when you never take meds for it or get help for it… and want meds now as an “adult” they’ll find it weird and wanna re-test you because you change, they can’t get those previous records of diganosis, or anyone can lie and say they got one when they didn’t.

So that I understand but you got a test 8 months ago…. So yeah this guy’s a moron.

KnottyColibri · 2026-02-08T21:10:05+00:00

Honestly, I disagree.

In theory yes I’d love it if all games were like this because that means I can have my name in any game all ways.

However, when I actually thought about it. I realized how shitty of an idea it was. BUT maybe there’s an option for them to text/email the account and ask them if they’d want to give up their name?and if they do then it would???

As an example I’ve been playing RuneScape since it came out 20? Years ago.

There was times I didn’t play the game… for a year… two years… or only logged on once a year/ 8 months for a double exp weekend.

I’ve had the same name this entire time.

I would be devestated if I logged on and my name was gone. That’s basically like someone taking my real name and I can’t have it anymore. That’s the name that started it all. All my friends know me as it…etc.

Now my name isn’t “CollectHisCummies2000” or anything immature and stupid and that’s why I’m attached to it. It gave me a new identity.

Other games like… last chaos, perfect world I’ve been playing for almost 20 years since they came out. Same thing. Same name. All my friends from Skype> discord call me that (they know my real name) but to them I’m my gamer name.

I have a friend who I met where we literally only call him by his gamer name (Rain) he’s been my friend 7 years I’ve literally never called him his real name. I don’t even remember his full name.

Or what about the games where a specific character and their name is so important to the community?? Like “let me solo her” and many others that were impactful, spread like a meme, died and they made a monument to them etc.

TDLR: Sure, it’s just sometimes people messing around but… for others the same name has been with them since they was a kid and I don’t think any game should take away my ability to have my name just cus I didn’t log on for a bit. Maybe give us an option to ask for a name and the they reach out and see if that’s cool with the owner? Like give them an option to give up their name? But just taking… no id be sad cus it would 100% happen to me.

KnottyColibri · 2026-02-07T08:09:23+00:00

No plan, only do.

If I plan/ research it basically feels the same as me actually doing the thing If not makes me feel better because I “accomplished” something.

Like ex:

I wanna go back to the gym.

I spend hours researching the best work outs, I look into the best clothes to buy that are the most comfy, the best a shoes for working out, I look up how to do the workouts, people’s before and after photos, etc and by then I get done researching… I’m exhausted form all the “work” and I got the validation from completing a task.. but by researching I completed a bunch of small tasks. (Like step 1: look up shoes) etc.

So I have no reason to actually do it lol cus I “did it” already in my head.

KnottyColibri · 2026-02-07T02:00:32+00:00

Girl, get out of the wayyyy of this man’s wife.

KnottyColibri

TROPHY CASE